Back to You
by CCL13
Summary: Has 3 years been too long or can love outlast any measure of time? Can the past prove to be too much or will time heal all wounds? Find out when Olivia and Elliot unexpectedly cross paths. Picks up at the end of Season 15. The beginning starts out slow but picks up. I promise! First fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Ch.1

Olivia Benson has just made it home. A half filled diaper bag slung over one shoulder, her purse over the other, and clutching, in her right hand, a car seat containing a now sleeping, baby Noah. After sitting with Noah at the ACS facility for a while, gradually getting more comfortable and slowly beginning to build a bond, she began thinking of all the things she needed for Noah. She was starting from scratch. Of course she has been around babies, her half niece Olivia for a short while, but this was different. She was solely responsible for the welfare of this little boy that lies asleep in the car seat borrowed from ACS. While getting ready to leave, and begin this new life, one of his caretakers approached her and gave her some necessities that she would need for the night to care for Noah. While it wasn't much, it was enough for one night, until she could go to the store the next day.

Making her way into the apartment she sat down on the sofa bringing Noah's car seat to rest at her feet. Olivia sat there, staring down at the angelic face of her new _son._ "My _Son_" she thought out loud. Technically, she was granted temporary custody of Noah for the period of one year, to be used as a trial period, where at the end of it, she would be able to file for permanent custody. There was no question in her mind that she would make it through one year and come out on the other side, the permanent mother to Noah. Nothing would interfere with this dream coming true. Noah comes first, before everything else in her life.

She reached down and ran a finger along the side of his chubby little cheek. She whispered, "My sweet, sweet little boy. You are _everything_ I have ever wanted. And _everything_ I thought I'd never have. We're going to get through this together. I'll never give up on you". Tears began to well in her eyes and she needed the contact with her new baby boy. Slowly she unbuckled Noah from his car seat, careful not to wake him from his peaceful slumber, and brought him up to her. Cradling him in her arms, she walked around the living room, rocking him ever so gently.

Glancing at the clock, Olivia realizes just how late it has gotten. It's now ten o'clock, but she just can't bare to part with Noah just yet. Feeling as though this is a dream, that if she sets him down she'll awaken to an empty apartment.

After a while he begins to stir. A slight whimper escaping his tiny little lips. She brings her head down to his ear and begins whispering sweet nothings to him. Most of what is said indecipherable, but the one repeated phrase that was just audible enough for him to hear was "I love you little man". She was going to make sure that he always knew just how much he meant to her and how much she loved him.

It was already late in the evening when she returned home. His caretaker informed her of the schedule that he has been sticking to and told Olivia that he probably wouldn't wake until early the next morning. Still carrying a sleeping Noah, she makes her way to her bedroom. She place Noah in the middle of the bed. Not wanting him to roll over and fall, she moves two pillows to lie next to him. She kisses him on the head and turns around to head to her dresser. Still dressed in the clothes she started her day with ,some 16 hours ago, she needs to change. Olivia rummages through her drawers until she finds and old oversized NYPD issue t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. She checks on Noah before making her way into the bathroom to change.

She reappears just a minute later and makes her way to the bed. She lays down and brings Noah to her body so that he is cradled in one arm and is resting along the side of her body. She looks down at the sleeping boy resting alongside of her. She memorizes his form. His tiny little face. The brown hair that is not more than inch long that sticks out in every direction. The button nose that sits perfect in between two closed chocolate brown eyes. His little hands that rest next to each other on his stomach. The rise and fall of his chest and stomach with each breathe he takes. How is legs ever so slightly twitch when she runs her finger along the bottom of his sock clad foot. The most perfect thing she has ever known. She thinks about how even though he's had it pretty rough for a while, bouncing from house to house, he is still healthy and happy, which is all she could ever ask for.

Olivia stares down at him and thinks about how much her life has just changed. Waking up a single woman with no family and an empty apartment, to this very moment. A mama. She thinks about how many times in her life things have changed in the blink of an eye. Most of them for the worse. Having and losing Calvin, Lewis, and _him_. Being told, that her once partner and best friend wasn't coming back. She shook her head, she wasn't going to allow him, or anything else, tarnish this incredible moment , right here, with her new baby boy. She was going to cherish these precious moments.

She settled down into her pillow and pulled Noah just a little closer. He lets out a contented sigh and snuggles into her side. Overcome with emotion, Olivia kisses him on the forehead once more, falling more in love with him as each second passes. Finally, after a long journey and many bumps in the road, she feels whole again. Like everything in her life has brought her to this place. All of the pain and sacrifice brining her and this little boy together. Lying there with her son in her arms Olivia finally understands what it means when people say "Sometimes, the best things in life come out of the worst situations." She survived Lewis, a hell in and of itself, to make it here. To have all her dreams realized. She smiles because for once, in a very long time, she is truly happy.

Before sleep can overcome her she moves her finger around the side of his face and under his chin and whispers "Mama loves you little man. So very much. Sleep well my precious angel", and with that, she falls into a peaceful slumber with her son wrapped in her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank You all for the reviews. This is my first fanfic but have been a fan of the show for years. I have a pretty good idea as to where I want the story to go but if you have any ideas or suggestions please feel free to either review or pm me! I would love to hear them. Any and all constructive criticism is welcomed. Now onto the story!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ch.2

Olivia awoke the next morning to Noah wiggling in her arms with his eyes wide open and looking directly at her. "Hey there little man. Is someone hungry? And probably wet too, huh?" she coos at her little boy who's just staring up at her. She is met with gurgling noises as Noah begins to fuss. "Well let's get you all clean and dry first and then we'll go get you some breakfast. How does that sound?" she says scooping the little boy up in her arms. Walking into the living room she goes to the diaper bag and grabs a clean bottle and the can of formula the ACS worker had given her as well as a fresh diaper, the wipes, and a new onesie.

Laying Noah down on the sofa, Olivia changes his dirty diaper and gets him into a new onesie. "There we go Noah, all clean! Now, let's see what we can do about getting you some breakfast," she picks up Noah and grabs the bottle and formula and walks into the kitchen. Noah, growing increasingly unhappy, begins to whimper. "Oh I know little guy! No one likes to be hungry, but mama's workin' on it," she says as she mixes Noah his bottle. Shaking the bottle to mix the formula and water together, then testing it on her arm, Olivia deems it suitable for Noah and begins feeding him. Noah begins suckling at the bottle in earnest, trying to get it all down as quickly as possible. "Woah there little one! You gotta slow down there for mama. We don't want you to get sick now do we? No we don't," she coos to him as she slightly pulls the nipple out of his mouth and then reinserts it into his wide open mouth encouraging him to slow down.

Grabbing her phone from the counter, having forgotten all about it when she made it home last night, Olivia makes her way to the couch, sitting down. With one arm resting on the arm of the couch holding Noah while the other hand holds the bottle that feeds him. Noah, content with eating, becomes peaceful. Olivia rests the bottle against her so that Noah can still feed and reaches for her cell phone on the couch next to her. Olivia unlocks her phone and checks the messages. Four calls from Fin, three from Nick, and one from Amanda. All of them wondering where she is and wanting to make sure she's okay. While Noah continues to feed she calls back Fin. Answering on the third ring Olivia is met with a "Detective Tutuola".

"Hey Fin, its Liv. I..." is all she gets out before Fin jumps in with worried questions.

"Babygirl where are you? What happened? Are you okay? I heard you got custody of Noah? Congrat..." he is cut off by Olivia.

"Calm down Fin. I'm fine," she smiles looking down at Noah, as he lays in her arms, as he continues to suck at the bottle "We're fine." She takes a second to rearrange Noah on her lap then says "How did you know that I got Noah? I've had him less than 24 hrs," shaking her head at how fast word can travel in such a large city.

"Liv. You know how it is. No one keeps their mouth shut. People see Olivia Benson leave ACS with a baby carrier and people start to talk," he says back to her in a rather flippant tone.

She laughs at this, thinking about just how much attention her personal life gets. "I guess that's true. But yes, I got custody of Noah. The Judge granted me with one year of being his foster mother, and the end of one year, if I chose to, I can I apply for permanent guardianship of Noah," she told her friend.

"Wow Babygirl! Congratulations," he said excitedly. "I'm really happy for you. Finally things are in your favor. How are you guys settling in?" Fin asked her.

She sighed, thinking of all the things she had to do today. "We're doing good. I just have a ton of things that I need to get for him. A whole nursery set, clothes, bottles, formula. You name it, I need it," she chuckled slightly.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "You'll be fine. Don't stress about it too much. You can do this and if you need anything you know you can call me, any time. Right?" he asked her.

Feeling the emotion bubbling up in her she says "Yes. Thank you so much. For everything over the years. You are truly an..." she is cut off by Fin.

"No need to thank me Babygirl. That's what you do for family," he reply's simply to her. As if everything was always so simple. That they have always been "family."

She sniffles and takes a moment to get her emotions in check before responding. "Just thank you any way. While we're talking I wanted to let you know that I will probably be taking off a couple of weeks to get adjusted and to get Noah settled. If you would just try to hold down the fort and keep everyone doing their jobs, it would really help relieve some of the stress," she tells him waiting for what type of reaction she is going to get.

"Of course Liv. You know I would do anything to help you out," he says matter-of-factly. "You focus on that little boy and yourself. I got your back." Finn tells her, once again proving that he will always be a great friend to her, and forever play the role of her "older brother".

She takes a moment to look down at Noah and just thinks of what an amazing man his Uncle Fin is. "Thank you Fin. From the both of us," Olivia says, once again getting caught up in the emotions. "Would you also be able to give Amanda a call and just let her know what's going on? I'll call Nick myself," she tells Fin, feeling slightly more guilty for adding to his plate "it's the least I can do. Nick's a good partner and I feel bad that I'm going to be out for a while."

"Yeah. Sure Liv, whatever you need. I got you," Fin says to Liv. Feeling good about himself because she's trusting him so much. He thinks back to a time when she was so closed off.

"Maybe if you want," feeling uncertain of herself, she takes a breath, then continues, "I'm sure Noah would like to get to know his Uncle Fin," she finishes looking down at her little boy.

Now it was Fin's turn to get his emotions under control. After a few seconds Fin manages to find his words "Of course Liv. I'd love to meet your little guy." Fin thinks back to when his own son, Ken, was a baby and how sweet and innocent he was at that age.

"Let's set up something for the next couple of days. After I get a chance to set up all of his new things and get organized. I don't want you walking into a war zone!" she says with a slight chuckle.

Fin laughs, "Of course Babygirl. Let me know when you and the little guy are all settled and Uncle Fin will drop by with his mama's favorite pizza and a movie."

Olivia smiles at the memory of all the lonely nights they had shared, strictly platonic, brother and sister relationship. "Thanks Fin. I'm sure by then I'll need a little adult time," she laughed thinking about how crazy her life was about to get. "I'll shoot you a text in a couple of days for you to stop by. Thanks for everything. Talk to you soon," Olivia says as she begins to tend to her son.

"Okay Babygirl. Let me know if you need anything else. Bye."

Olivia looks down at Noah who has just finished his bottle "Hey there little man. You're Uncle Fin can't wait to meet you!" Noah stares into her eyes. Listening intently to all she offers him. " You are going to be so loved. That's a promise from your mama," she coos down to him as she prepares to burp him. Mentally making a list of all the things she will need for Noah, but first things first. Calling Nick and catching him up on the plans for the next few weeks.

After Noah was settled again she dialed Nicks number and waited for an answer.

"Liv! Thank god you're alright! I have been worried s..." is all he manages to get

out before she interrupts him.

"Nick. Calm down," instantly sensing the worry in his voice. "Everything's fine. I forgot all about my phone last night. That's why I didn't answer. And I'm sorry for worrying you," she says in a sincere tone. Knowing that she truly didn't mean to put that kind of fear into her colleagues. After everything she's been through, she can see why they probably jumped to worst case scenarios.

"No Liv it's fine! I'm the one who's sorry. I jumped the gun and let my imagination get the best of me," he sighed thinking about all of the things he thought happened to her. Never wanting to see her as hurt and broken as she was when they got her back from Lewis. "I know you're a big girl, and, a police officer who can take care of yourself. I'll try to rein it in next time."

"No Nick. I appreciate the fact that you worry," she tells him "it means that you've always got my back and I need that." She looked down at Noah who had a content smile on his face and she thought about just how many people he would have in his life to protect him. She was happy that he would always have these protective and strong male figures in his life. Giving him someone to look up to, because both Nick and Fin, are not only good protectors and some of the most loyal people she's ever known, but they are also, all around good guys.

"I just hope there's enough of you to go around for Noah," she choked out, getting emotional while thinking about the future of her little boy.

Stunned at the amount of emotion she's allowing him to see, Nick takes a moment to get a response together. "Of course Liv. He's your boy," he tells her allowing a moment of silence. "I've got his back...and, I've got his mama's back," he says before adding "no matter what."

Olivia, touched by the honesty she hears in Nicks voice takes a moment. "Thank you Nick. I don't think you know what that means to me. To hear you say that."

"If you need help with anything at all, please call me. I'll be there. I figure you'll probably take off a few weeks to get into a routine and all," Nick says to her as he thinks about what he would do if the situations were reversed.

"Yes. I'm going to be taking off some time to get us both situated," she tells him "but we're doing okay but I promise if I need anything I will call you."

"Okay good. I'd also like to stop over one of these days and get to know Noah," sounding slightly unsure of himself "I mean, if that's okay with you?"

"Yes of course Nick! I'd love for you to meet him," she replies to him with all the certainly in the world. Knowing that Nick was one of the best fathers she's ever seen, there was no better person to be in Noah's life. "I'm planning on having Fin over later this week also. So I will just let you know what day works for us and you can stop by."

"Great Liv, I can't wait! Let me know if you need anything and tell Noah that his uncle Nick says "Hi". Talk to you later Liv, bye."

"I will. Goodbye Nick," she says ending the conversation.

She looked down at Noah who was fighting to keep his eyes open, trying to evade sleep. She stroked his cheek, all the way down to his arm and grabbed hold of his little hand. Noah slowly wrapped his hand around his mothers. She kissed his tiny little knuckles and whispered to him "Your uncle Nick is so excited to meet you. He's a great guy who's really helped out your mama over the last year. You're going to like him."

She planned to give him the world, and that also included a family that would do

anything to protect him and keep him safe. Even though it might not be the

conventional family, the people from her squad, were her family. And she was

thankful for that every single day.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The first few chapters move kind of slow but I wanted to cover the first few days of Olivia and Noah being together. Please review and enjoy!

After talking to Nick, Olivia got Noah dressed and ready to go out. They had a long day ahead of them. She had an ever growing list of things she needed for Noah and as soon as she walked into the store she was completely over whelmed. Standing there, staring at everything from newborn to toddler, she felt as though the walls were crashing in on her. Clutching Noah's car seat just a little tighter Olivia began thinking if she could really do this.

Luckily she wasn't left alone for very long when she heard a voice coming from her right. Olivia turned towards the voice and was greeted by an extended hand and a smiling face from a young woman.

"Hi there! I'm Kelly. New mom?"

After looking her up and down, Olivia gave her hand a firm shake. She sighed and finally spoke "Hello. I'm Olivia. And yes, I am. Is it that obvious?" she questioned slightly embarrassed.

"Yes, but don't worry! I've been here a while and new parents always get that look of sheer terror as soon as they walk through the doors.," Kelly replied with a kind and knowing smile "So what can I do for the two of you today?" she said while she looked down at Noah.

Olivia took one more sweeping glance of the store and looked back at Kelly "I need everything that my sons going to need. I adopted him yesterday so I only had enough formula and diapers to last the night," she explained, not wanting to go into the whole situation with a total stranger.

" I need to get him all new furniture, clothes, bottles, formula, diapers, and anything else you can think of. I haven't got the slightest clue where to start," Olivia said self depreciatingly. Slowly becoming more overwhelmed by the minute.

"Don't worry Olivia. We're going to get you everything you and your little boy will need. You seem to be doing a pretty great job already" she said looking down at the content little boy playing with a rattle in his car seat. Kelly crouched down and looked up at Olivia asking for permission to reach out to Noah. With some slight consideration and a nod of the head Olivia gave her the "OK".

After getting aquatinted, Kelly got Olivia a shopping cart and they were off. Scouring the store from top to bottom while Noah rested in his car seat. They made their way over to the furniture. Deciding to get the big stuff out of the way first. After having seen an assortment of different designs and stains of wood Olivia decided on a white colored wooden sleigh crib, that would eventually turn into a full sized bed, for when little Noah got bigger. She also decided on a matching changing table, a tall dresser, and a longer armoire to accompany the bed. Olivia had also asked if she could purchase the floor models because she was going to be needing his furniture immediately. The store manager agreed and said it was no problem.

While working on the bedroom she found some bedding that she really liked. Wanting to keep his bedroom in line with the rest of her home, she chose bedding that was mostly neutrals and accented with grey and navy blue stripes and polka dots.

They then made their way over to the strollers and car seats. Olivia decided to get him a new one because an old hand me down was just not good enough for her little boy. After hearing about all the functions and accessories of each stroller and car seat Olivia picked the _Britax B-Agile B-Safe Travel System._ Kelly went into all the details, and features, about how this stroller car seat combo was supposed to be one of the safest ones out there and was the best for on the go moms. Having cleared Olivia's screening process of being safe and easy to maneuver, she picked it in beige, and moved on to the other aisles.

The duo, or trio including a now sleeping Noah, kept on working their way through the store. After about two hours of shopping they had found everything Olivia would be needing for Noah. Everything was checked off the list. She had a full cart of everything from bottles to bath time. Working their way to the front of the store Olivia spotted a pale blue crocheted baby blanket. She reached out and smoothed the back of her hand down it, feeling how soft the blanket was. She picked it up and for a moment lost herself in all of the memories she could see her and Noah making together. All of the bed time routines where she put Noah to bed while clutching tightly to the blanket.

She was brought out of her thoughts as Noah began to stir in the stroller. She placed the blanket in the already overflowing shopping cart and turned her attention towards her little boy. "Hello there sleepy head. Are you ready to get out of here? Because I know I am!" Olivia said to her son. She was met by a pair of sleepy eyes and a small smile. She reached into the car seat and caressed Noah's head "You should see all the stuff you're getting. You're going to have your own room with all your own stuff and a ton of new toys," she spoke softly down to her son. "You're not going to want or need for nothing. I love you my sweet, sweet boy."

After reaching the registers and paying for all of her things Olivia turned to Kelly and thanked her profusely for all her help.

Kelly simply replied "I'm just doing my job and it was my pleasure. I wish you and your new little addition nothing but love and happiness." She looked down at Noah as he continued to sleep and said "He got really lucky with you. You are so enamored with him that I can just _tell_ he is going to be one very loved little boy."

Feeling overcome by emotion she reached in and gave Kelly a hug. Startling both of them and then said "It is I who got lucky. I could have never imagined being able to call such a sweet and loving baby boy my son."

Making her way back to her apartment with several bags and a delivery truck behind her, Olivia finally walked through her apartment door. Noah had a bottle on the way home from the store while in the cab so he was content to just nap for a little while. The delivery men at the store agreed to bring over all of the larger items today since their work load was light.

Settling Noah's car seat down next to the couch, she took a seat on the couch, preparing for what would undoubtedly be a long afternoon. Olivia wanted to get all of his room set up and organized by the end of today. Most of the furniture was already together since she had bought the floor model, they were just going to deliver it already put together. Olivia had about an hour before the delivery men were supposed to arrive, so she decided to put on some more comfortable clothing and get to work on all of Noah's new clothes.

Halfway through the second bag of clothes, Olivia found a onesie that said _Daddy's Favorite_. Slightly taken aback she took a moment to compose herself. While Noah technically didn't have a _Daddy_ she wasn't going to dwell on it, and she wasn't giving up on Love. She believed there was a guy somewhere out there for her, someone who would love her, and her son, unconditionally. But for now, her main focus was her little boy, who was still sleeping in the car seat next to her. Noah came first in Olivia's world and _nothing_ would ever come between her and her amazing little boys happiness.

Shortly after she finished going through his clothes and separating them by age category, there was a knock on the door. She answered it and the delivery men asked her where everything was supposed to go. She showed them back to his bedroom, which was the adjacent room to her own, and they proceeded to bring everything in.

Once everything was brought in and the delivery men were gone she made her way back to his bedroom, almost dreading the disaster she was about to find. Pushing open the door she was met with a half a dozen or so boxes stacked in the room surrounded by his furniture. _Wow do I have a lot to get done!_ She walked into the room and grabbed the first box, which happened to be his highchair. Dragging it out into the kitchen she sat down on the floor and got to work on it.

An hour and a half later Olivia had successfully put together a highchair, pack 'n play, stroller and car seat, and a bouncy chair. Hearing the beginnings of a cry from Noah she went into the living room and scooped him up out of his car seat. "Hello there mama's big boy! Is someone getting a little hungry? It's been a while since you've had lunch," she cooed down at the little boy, who instantly settled upon being held.

Olivia fed him some baby food then quickly made him a bottle and settled down on the couch with him as he ate. "I know we haven't been having too much fun today and I am so sorry about that little man, but mama has been working very hard trying to make sure that your room is perfect," she spoke down at Noah as he continued to eat "I just want you to have everything you need to get us started on this new life together, because I can't wait."

Once Noah was done eating, burped, and changed Olivia grabbed the new baby carrier she had purchased and strapped Noah in. Securely attaching him to her body allowing them some bonding time while also allowing Olivia to finish up on her master project. Setting up Noah's entire room in one day. Moving back into his bedroom she looked down at Noah who was sucking on a pacifier and ran a finger down the side of his cheek.

"Well little man this is your room," she tells Noah as she turns around in the room, allowing him to see all around it. "Or, at least it will be when your mama's done with it," she chuckles while looking at the few boxes left on the ground.

A few hours later, she sat in the now clean and organized bedroom, of Noah Benson. To the left of the door was the long armoire with the changing table on top of it with completely filled drawers below. Attached to the side was a diaper holder filled to the top. Above the dresser hung a mirror that ran the length of the dresser. To the right of the door sat Noah's crib and tall dresser. The crib was adorned in all of the new pillows that came with the matching bedding, while his new blanket hung over the side.

The tall dresser stood to the right of the crib, closest to the door, and was completely filled from top to bottom with things like socks, pajamas, and different hats. To the left of the crib was Olivia's favorite thing, the rocking chair. Having looked at over 15 different rockers and trying them all out, Olivia picked a white wooden rocker with grey plush cushions to match the colors from Noah's bed spread.

She went out to the kitchen and made Noah another bottle. Walking back into his bedroom she sat down in the rocker and took Noah out of the carrier and settling him down on her lap for the last feeding before bed. Once he was situated she brought the bottle to his lips and he began sucking in earnest. Rocking him as he continued to eat, Noah began falling asleep.

Running a finger along the bottom of his bare foot, Olivia woke him instantly "It looks like someone's pretty ticklish, aren't they?" she said while smiling down at him.

Once Noah was finished with his bottle and burped, Olivia continued to rock him for a little while, allowing him to fall asleep in her arms. Rubbing her hand along the top of his head, smoothing out his hair, and bringing it down to rest under his bottom. She brought him up to her and kissed his head "I love you little man. More today than yesterday and more tomorrow than today. Sweet dreams Noah."

She settled him down in his crib, giving him one more kiss on the head, she checked to make sure the baby monitor was on, and made her way to her room. Quickly changing and settling down in bed, she turned onto her side to stare at the image of her sleeping baby boy on the monitor. Reaching out, she ran her finger across the image and whispered "Your mama will always be watching over you. You are safe and you are loved."


	4. Chapter 4

Ch.4

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews. I truly do appreciate all of your kind words, they keep me motivated to keep writing. Now for what most of you have been waiting for. Please read/review and enjoy!

To anyone else it was just a normal day. To Elliot Stabler, it was anything but. Today, May 14th, would have been the 16th anniversary of his partnership to Olivia. As he sits alone at his kitchen table, his head in his hands, she's the _only_ he can think about.

He can still remember the day they were partnered together, thinking to himself "Wow she's green". Wondering how long she'd last in the unit and just what in the world the captain was thinking when he partnered her with him. He quickly changed his tune when they took down their first suspect.

Having gone on a 3 block chase down, Olivia quickly caught up to their guy and tackled him. Elliot stood back in stunned silence as she slapped cuffs on the perp and hauled him off to their police cruiser. Passing him on her way to the car Olivia yelled back to him "You just gonna stand there or can we move it, Stabler?" That's when he knew that she could do this.

Eli ran out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. Moving as fast as his little legs would take him while pushing a his toy car in front of him. Not looking up from his toy, he runs right into the leg of the table. Successfully jarring Elliot from his thoughts.

"Sorry daddy!" the little boy says as he continues through the kitchen.

"It's alright buddy", Elliot replies "Just be careful okay?"

Eli simply nods his head as he runs around the table and back towards the living room. Looking at his little boy he can't, for the life of him, remember how he got this big. It seems like just yesterday he was rushing to the hospital to meet his newborn son. The memory, once again, bringing Olivia back to his mind. After checking on his wife and baby boy, he remembers seeing her, standing there covered in blood. Pulling her towards him, hugging her for all he's worth, and holding onto her like his life depended on it, because he thought it just might. The memory is forever etched in his brain as the day he could have lost the mother of his children, the son he adored more than anything, and the woman that was the love his life. The thought sends a pang right through his heart.

Every day without her, every hour that passes, is slowly adding to the guilt that he's been carrying around for the last three years. Not one day has gone by that he hasn't thought about her, that he hasn't wondered how she's doing. Slumping even deeper into his chair and burying his head even further into his hands he allows all the emotions to come back to him.

He thinks about all the times he's thought about calling her, about going to the precinct, or stopping by her apartment. He thinks about how hard it was to walk away and never look back. The worst is that he does look back... all the time. He wonders what she's doing, if she's found some sort of happiness. Because for him, it has been hell. He hopes that she's okay because he can't bare the thought of it being any other way, but he knows, deep down inside, that she's not.

The invisible pull that they've always had to each other never waning. I was still there and just as strong, if not stronger with the absence. He can feel it. Feel the pain that he caused her by walking away, by not answering her, and by not giving her an explanation. He knows the pain because he can feel it too.

"I am so stupid", he releases with a sigh, as once again, he realizes all of his mistakes.

"What you say daddy?" Eli says as he approaches his father, a look of worry on his face. "You okay?", the little boy continues as he rests his hand on his dad's shoulder.

Elliot slowly lifts his head and looks at his son. The same crystal blue eyes staring back at him. "Yeah buddy, I'm okay" he says as he reaches out to hug his son. The emotions from the memories proving to be too much. Hugging him, just a little tighter, he manages to hold back the unshed tears.

Finally pulling away he looks down at his son "I love you buddy. I hope you know that".

"Love you too daddy. What you thinkin bout?" he says as he looks up into his father's eyes.

Once again Elliot forgot just how mature Eli is, even for a six year old. Even at such a young age he had always been so observant, feeding off of the energy from the people around him. For a second Elliot's not sure how to answer that. Eli, being as perceptive as he is, would pick up on the fact that Elliot was lying if he didn't answer honestly.

Letting out a sigh, he shook his head "Just an old friend of mine, I miss her sometimes" he told his son.

Eli took in this information, furrowing his brow and tapping his foot as he processed this new information. "Go see her" he offered his father with a shrug of his shoulders. As if all the world's problems were in fact that simple.

Elliot thought about this and realized while not every problem could be solved by his clever little six year old, maybe this one could be. He began wondering just what he would say if he saw her. How could you start out a conversation that was three years overdue? Shaking his head he told his son "I can't Eli. It's not that simple." He's met with a confused face and defeated body language, Eli, upset and slightly confused that his idea hasn't worked.

"Why not?" he asks his father.

"Because. I haven't seen her in a very long time, buddy. She's upset with me." Even though he didn't know for sure, he was pretty sure that last statement rang true. Thinking back to all the times she left him, he remembers the anger and hurt he felt when she walked away, if only for a couple of months. He can't even imagine the amount of anger, hurt, and resentment she's accumulated over the last three years.

"Say sorry, daddy" he hard Eli say as he ran towards the living room. Losing interest in this conversation with his father. Proving again, that even though he is very bright and observant, he is only six years old. Once again Elliot is left alone with his thoughts.

He begins thinking about how the phone calls had stopped. After about a month of one phone call every other day, they stopped coming. His heart breaking just that much more because she finally gave up on him too. He chuckles to himself, truly thinking about how pathetic that sounds. _She didn't give up on me, I didn't give her a choice. I pushed her away. Like we always do when we get too close. I should have talked to her, told her how I was feeling. Allowed her in because she's the only one that could have helped me. The only one who could have known what I was going through. Not Kathy, certainly not the kids, and not even the best damn shrink in this town could have ever understood what I was dealing with. But he_.

Across town in a messy and crowded apartment sits Olivia. After having a busy day setting up Noah's new room and having the best time playing with all of his new toys, she finally got him down for bed. She's looking through all of the pictures she has taken of Noah over the last few days when she realizes the date. She takes in a sharp breathe, letting it out slowly. Allowing herself a brief moment of weakness, she walks into her kitchen and pours herself

a very large, but desperately needed, glass of wine. As she moves back to her seat in the living room, she lets loose on the unshed tears and emotions she hasn't allowed herself to feel for quite some time.

After a while of cathartic crying, Olivia composed herself, still slightly sniffling. She walks into her bedroom and goes to her dresser. In the top drawer, she reaches for the photo she knows is there. Finally finding it, she pulls it out to where she can see it. Taking a rather large gulp from her glass she looks down at the photo. It's a photo of her and Elliot from when they were at the policeman's ball several years ago.

Olivia was in a scarlet red floor length silk gown, with a ruched bodice that flowed out at her hips. The dress had lightly beaded straps that tied behind her neck, giving her a low cut V-shape in the front. The back was cut out, swooping down to her lower back. Her hair was pulled to the side in a low bun, accentuating her face. Two diamond studs adorned her ears, while a diamond necklace accentuated her cleavage, sexy yet tasteful. She had on simple makeup, with a red lip to match her dress.

Elliot had on a simple black tux with patent leather shoes, but to her, he's never looked more handsome. The way the chandelier light reflects off of his crystal blue eyes, how even under the tuxedo jackets, she can still feel the rippling muscles in his back and arms as they move across the dance floor. Swaying rhythmically to the music. Wrapped securely in Elliot's arms, Olivia allowed herself to enjoy the closeness because she knew that it would eventually end.

As one song ended and another began he looked down at her, moving a finger below her chin he turned her face up so her eyes met his. Once their eyes locked onto each other's he whispered "You look absolutely incredible tonight."

Her breathing hitched and she just stood there, simply staring at the amazing man in front of her, stunned that all she saw on his face was love. She didn't get a chance to respond before he continued, "And thank you for making me the luckiest man here by agreeing to come with me," as he bent down to press a kiss against her cheek. There was a flash of a camera to the right of them as a very drunk, John Munch, snapped a picture of them.

She can still feel his breathe on her face and neck as he spoke to her, feel his lips on her skin. She can see the change in eye color from crystal blue to a deep indigo, with darker flecks around the iris. A color she's only seen once or twice when he was frustrated, but the color of his eyes this time didn't hold the same meaning. There wasn't the slightest bit of anger on his face, if she didn't know better, she'd say it was lust.

She still has all of the memories from their time together as partners. All of the cases that pushed their partnership to the limit. All of the times Elliot and Kathy had separated and then gotten back together. The times when she thought that she actually had a chance with him and the moments she thought that he felt the same way as her. All of that changed three years ago.

Olivia allows herself to think about that day. One of very few days, in her life, where she can still feel everything she felt. Heartbreak, devastation, and abandonment are just to name a few. The day that she found out her best friend, and love of her life, wasn't going to come back to her. That when she looked up from her desk after a long day, she wouldn't see Elliot looking back. She thinks of all the things she would say to him if she ever saw him again. Starting out with something along the lines of "How dare you do this to me you bastard!" accompanied with a hard slap to his face, just to get the anger across. After getting out her frustration she would move onto something a little more civil, like "I don't think you understood how much I truly needed you to answer my calls. How much I needed for you to just pick up that phone and tell me that you were okay. That you hadn't gone off and done something stupid. You could have eaten your gun for all I knew!"

Then she thinks about just how much she needed him when Lewis came into her life. All of the times that she wished that he would come and save her. "All I needed was you. To know that you knew I was missing, Elliot. For you to be one of the hundreds looking for me. Just to know, that at the end of it, after I was found, that it would be your arms wrapped around me. For you to be the one camped out on my couch for days on end and not Nick. You would have known what I was thinking and how I was feeling. I felt like I was drowning without you. The second time Lewis had me, I can't help but wonder; if you were my partner, would you have ever left me alone?" she says above a whisper as tears once again fall down her cheeks.

Her next thoughts were deeper. The thoughts that had to do with her love for him. The unconditional, all consuming, earth shattering, life altering love that she had for one Elliot Stabler. The feelings and thoughts that only her bedroom walls and pillow even knew the truth to. She was about to take the leap, and jump into the deep dark abyss of self pity and second thoughts, when a small cry came over Noah's baby monitor. Wiping her eyes and setting down the now half empty glass of wine along with the photo, now stained with tear marks, she made her way to her sons room "Mama's coming my sweet boy... mama's comin."


	5. Chapter 5

Ch.5

Waking up to the sound of a baby crying was definitely something that would take some getting used to, but Olivia would take that over her alarm clock any day of the week. Hearing Noah's cry's meant it was real, that he was her son, and she was in fact, a mother. Throwing back the covers and making her way to his bedroom, Olivia started her day. Having been together for a couple days already, the pair were slowly settling into a routine. "Hello mama's big boy! Did you sleep well?" she talks to Noah as she reaches down into the crib. Scooping him up, along with his baby blanket, she changed his diaper and made her way to the kitchen.

Setting Noah down in his high chair Olivia gets his breakfast ready. Having read a few baby books she read that Noah, was in fact, old enough to start eating real food along with the bottles he was already being fed. Olivia had bought a baby food maker from the store, determined to keep his diet as healthy and organic as possible, she set off on making him some pureed bananas. Bringing the bananas over with his bottle and a bib, Olivia got ready for breakfast time with a baby. While not the cleanliest of tasks, Noah had to be the cutest baby in the world. Maybe she was biased because he was her son but you couldn't convince her of that.

Making airplane noises and all of the funny faces she could think of Olivia had managed to get Noah to eat more than half of his banana's. She wiped off the rest of the banana that was on his face, wiping it off of his pants, wondering how it even got down there "Aren't you just the messiest eater ever? But you're so cute that I won't hold it against you." Picking him up out of the high chair Olivia moved to the chair in the living room to give him his bottle. Cradling him in her arms she held the bottle out to him. Noah reaching out towards the bottle, tried to help guide the nipple towards his mouth "Are you gonna be mama's little helper Noah?"

After finishing breakfast and getting him ready for the day Olivia decided to take her first walk with Noah. While it took a little longer to get out the door now, having to get a diaper bag stuffed full of all the possible things they might need for their day out, Olivia and Noah were finally ready to start their day. After struggling to get the stroller out of the door, with the diaper bag and Noah on her hip, Olivia made to it to the elevator and out onto the street.

She pushed the stroller down the street a couple of blocks, never letting anyone get too close to the stroller containing a very precious little boy. She couldn't be sure if was because of her years in the Special Victims Unit or quite possible her maternal instincts, were in fact, kicking in. Either way, she would keep her son safe.

Making their way down the street she pushed the stroller into a little boutique that sold one of a kind baby clothes. Olivia never saw herself as the type of mother to dress her child in high priced frilly baby clothes that would only get dirty in a matter of hours, but standing in the middle of the store, surrounded by all the little boy's clothes, she just couldn't stop herself. Maneuvering the stroller through the store was no easy task, but she managed. As Noah sat in the stroller content to suck on his pacifier, Olivia continued to peruse the store, finding several items just too cute to pass up. One thing she found was a red knitted sweater with a small patched teddy bear. Even though he wouldn't be wearing it any time soon, Olivia could see him wearing it outside once the weather turned to fall, surrounded by all of the fallen leaves. She could see him rolling around, picking up the leaves in his chubby little hands, watching as the shredded leaves would crumple into tiny little pieces all around him.

After looking around the store and finding some other items she liked, Olivia paid for her things, and was on her way. She didn't have any plans today except to bond with her little boy. She wondered around the city for about an hour, passing several different boutiques and stores. Olivia passed a daycare facility and she realized that she would probably have to find a suitable place for Noah when she went back to work. Finding a place that would accommodate her hours was sure to be impossible. She had to stop herself from thinking too far ahead. She's only had Noah for about three days and thinking about parting with him already was just proving to be too much. Lucky for her, Olivia had at least a month before she would have to return as CO of the 16th Precinct. She decided to put off looking for a daycare for a couple weeks until she figured out exactly what her schedule would look like.

While Olivia and Noah continued on their walk she noticed just how beautiful it was outside. For May, the weather was unusually warm, especially considering the brutal winter they had suffered, getting chills at the memory of sloshing through the snow on her daily commute. Pulling her sweater just a little tighter around her middle, Olivia continued pushing the stroller down the street, for once just enjoying her time around the city. Not having to worry about where her perp was, or when she would get the next call that an innocent child had been brutalized. Olivia was walking just a little bit lighter, like at this moment the world wasn't resting on her shoulders. For the time being she was able to be fully present in the moment and allow all of her thoughts to be focused on Noah and for a change, herself. She was actually able to "stop and smell the roses" and relish in just how great her life was.

Olivia's number one priority was Noah and what was best for him, and right now, what was best for him was to have a focused, and dedicated, mama. After a while she realized she was close to her apartment. Walking down her street she noticed something that she never remembered seeing. There was a tiny park about six blocks from her apartment, bustling with activity. Sitting down on the bench and taking Noah out of the stroller she watched the children play for a while. There were a few little slides with a climbing wall on the side. Off to the right were some swings. While it wasn't much, and it certainly wasn't the best park in the city, all of the kids there seemed to be really enjoying themselves.

Olivia began thinking about just how little can make a child happy. She was amazed at how a simple playground could make all of these children's faces just light up like they were given the world. When you see all of the bad, and harm that could be done in the world like Olivia witnessed day in and day out, sometimes you forgot what a wonderful place the world could be.

She was brought out of her daydream by the delightful and happy squeals coming from Noah who was bouncing up and down on her lap clapping his hands together. Looking down at him she was met by one of the biggest smiles she has seen on him thus far. In the midst of everything, Olivia had a moment of clarity. This was what life was about. Finding joy and happiness in all of the little things life has to offer you. She turned Noah towards her and allowed him to try to stand on her legs while holding him up by his pudgy little hands

"Someone looks happy there mister! You like the kids don't you? Huh?"

Olivia moved over to the swings, put Noah into one of the baby swings, and began to lightly push him. He was smiling and squealing in delight the whole time, enjoying every minute. Olivia couldn't help but beam from ear to ear with the biggest smile she thinks she's ever had, since about 5 minutes into it, her face began to ache. She pushed him on the swing for about an hour, even meeting a couple of the other mothers there. She even got a couple of their numbers, even though she knew she wouldn't be calling them. Although she loved her son so very much, Olivia Benson would never be the stay at home mom to do play dates and have girl talk with. While she noticed that for a first time mom she was obviously older but she didn't let that affect her. She just thought,_ Age is only a number, it's about how you feel, and right now I'm on top of the world. I have everything I've ever wanted and nothing is going to bring me down._

The highlight of her day though was going down the slide with Noah on her lap. At first he held into her for dear life, bunching as much of her sweater into his hands as he could manage, and burying his head into the crook of her neck. Olivia whispered reassurances into his ear, telling him how much fun it would be and that she would keep him safe and that nothing was going to happen to him. After a couple of times, Noah had loosened the death grip he had on her and was actually beginning to enjoy it. After the fifth time he was giggling and smiling the whole way down. As they went down the slide again, she realized that Noah was trusting her and that all of these little bonding moments were only going to further their relationship together; that's all Olivia could hope for.

If being around other kids and being outside made her son this happy, Olivia would definitely be coming to the park more often. Another plus to coming to the park was that by playing all day long outside in the fresh air really tired Noah out, and he fell asleep in Olivia's arms as she walked around the park watching all of the kids play. She could picture Noah in a year or two running around and getting down and dirty in the mulch. She wonder what type of personality he would have. Would he be a leader or a follower, would he be gentle or rough and tough?

The next hour or so Olivia kept walking around while Noah slept just people watching. She noticed a little boy playing on the monkey bars and guessed that he was probably six or seven. He had a full head of curly light blonde hair, that bounced as he moved from one bar to the next. Reaching the end the little boy jumped down and landed in the mulch, falling forward slightly from the impact but catching himself with his hands. Standing up, he brushed the mulch off of his hands, and turned around. Olivia's breathe caught in her chest as she stared into his eyes. _No, it can't be. Those eyes, those crystal clear blue eyes. I'd know them anywhere._

"Hey Eli? Where are you buddy?"

Turning to look towards where the voice was coming from, Elliot stepped out from behind the other side of the playground. Whether it be from the invisible tether that has always linked them together or the fact that they were always so similar, they found themselves at the same place, at the same time. She couldn't turn away. Hell, she couldn't even breathe and she knew what was coming.

Elliot felt eyes on him, instinctively turning around. Catching a glimpse of a woman standing off to the side, rocking a baby, Elliot did a double take. _Is that her? With a baby? No. No, it can't be. _

It was as if two cars were about to collide and there wasn't anything anyone could do to stop it. Two forces so strong, finally colliding. Time stood still for that split second and it was as if they were the only ones who existed. Their eyes, fixed on one another's as they stood there as the children and people continued to move around them. They stood waiting to see who would be the one to break the silence. Finally it happened. As if they were still in sync, the same pair they were three years ago.

"Liv..."

"El..."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thank You all for the reviews, they mean a lot to me! Please let me know what you guys think, good or bad I want to know. Enjoy!

Ch.6

After three years of waiting for the other shoe to drop it finally happened. While they weren't in contact she knew he hadn't left New York. She could feel it, could sense that he was near. She always knew it would happen sooner or later but standing in the playground surrounded by children, her own son sleeping in her arms, was not even one of the possible scenarios Olivia had dreamt up. He looked almost exactly as she remembered him. The cropped hair, the way his jean jacket hung off his muscular broad shoulders. His face was still the same, his crystal clear blue eyes, the clear complexion with the 5 o'clock shadow and the chiseled jaw. The only thing different was the added wrinkles around his eyes. He's aged well and he can still affect her the way he always has.

He didn't know what to do. She looked beautiful. Her hair was shorter and darker than he remembered, and she has more curves, he remembered always telling her she was too thin. Her face looked worn, like she's been through some things, which would be attributed to Lewis, but her eyes look alive, happy. His eyes are drawn to her lips, the most perfect pair of lips he thinks he's ever seen, the way the cupids bow is a deep V and her bottom lip is pouted. All he wants to do is kiss her, to feel them one time in his life and he would die a happy man. He stood there staring, from mother to child for what seemed like hours. His mind couldn't even put it together that she could even possibly have a baby, but it had been three years and a lot could happen, it did for him.

In three years he went from having it all, a family he loved, a job he couldn't seem to stay away from, and a woman who was his everything, although he hadn't told her this much. Today though, sometimes he couldn't even recognize himself. A divorced man of about a year now, a job he loved to hate, and missing the one thing that always made him feel better...her. While his children brought him so much joy and happiness, it didn't do much for him at night. He went home to his empty apartment, comforted only by his memories. Elliot was pretty sure that he couldn't feel worse, even if he tried.

Elliot was just standing there. His mouth was moving but nothing was coming out, and for the life of her, she couldn't say anything either. She was torn between so many different emotions. She was devastated, heartbroken, and disappointed beyond belief but there was this small portion of her that was..._relieved_. Relieved to know he was "okay", that he was still breathing and walking this earth, but that gut wrenching, heart breaking feeling was just too overwhelming.

She had to break the eye contact. She couldn't take it anymore. Everything in that moment was too much for her brain to process. She was torn with what to do. Her mind was telling her to run, to evacuate, but there was that part in her heart, the part that would always love Elliot, that made her want to throw herself into his arms and forget about the last three years.

Looking down at Noah as he slept cradled safely in her arms, she found her center. In that moment while watching her son, she knew what she had to do, and that, was to put him first. She couldn't lose herself right now because doing so didn't just affect her anymore, it affected her son as well. Every choice, every decision, and every action she made she needed to factor Noah in and think about how it would affect his life as well. The days of Olivia doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, were behind her and that was fine by her. If giving up those carefree days meant that she had a son named Noah, she would give that up time and time again. Turning on her heel Olivia made her way back to her things. Putting Noah in the stroller and picking up the diaper bag she made her way towards the exit.

Snapping out of his daze Elliot realized that Olivia was making a b-line for the exit. He began running after her "Liv wait!" he shouted at her back as she continued moving quicker, trying her hardest to get away from him. His heart was breaking even more than he ever thought possible. This was the moment Elliot had been waiting for the last three years. The moment they would see each other again. He envisioned it so many times. All the things he would say to her, finally telling her the truth about how he's always felt, but standing there in that moment nothing was coming to him.

"Please... _Please_ Olivia, just stop," he pleaded as he finally reached her and grabbed a hold of her elbow.

She just stood there, like she was frozen in time. She didn't move, she didn't

turn around , but she managed to find her voice "Elliot _please_, I can't do this. Not now, not with him here. I don't want him around this type of thing and I won't let him see me like this," she ground out as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Even though he couldn't see her face he knew she was on the verge of crying. In this moment he hated himself more than he ever thought possible. He knew he had hurt her by walking away but damn. Actually witnessing it, hearing the devastation in her voice for the first time, was pure torture.

He released her elbow and stepped back "Okay. But this isn't over. Please, just...we need to talk. I need to see you again," he croaked. His voice was hoarse and he managed to choke back a sob and settled for a few silently falling tears. She was so close but so far away. He could reach out and touch her, pull her to him if he wanted, but he knew he couldn't. It's not fair to her. He knew he owed her so much more than that, that she _deserved_ so much more than that.

She couldn't turn around. If she were to look into those crystal clear, blue eyes, and see the tears she knew were there, she'd brake. She wouldn't stand a chance against those eyes. The eyes that would take her to a place deep inside his soul. The ones where if she looked really close she'd see everything she was too afraid to see.

So she simply shook her head in acknowledgement, above a whisper responded "Yes we do," and began walking away. It was one of the hardest things Olivia's had to. To turn around and walk away from the love of her life, the one person she's wanted to see for the last three years, all the times she prayed to some being she wasn't even sure existed that he would come back to her, but she knew she had to do it. She needed time to process all of this and she had to do this for Noah.

Elliot stood there and watched her walk down the street, saw her as she looked back at him over her shoulder and saw a few stray tears make their way down her cheeks. He watched as she got smaller and smaller as she finally disappeared in the distance. Aside from walking away from her the first time, this was the hardest, most devastating moment of his life. There was a vice grip around his heart and it only kept getting tighter and tighter. He was fighting to bring oxygen into his lungs. He staggered over towards the bench and sat down, bending forward Elliot put his head between his knees and took sever deep breathes.

He was startled by a little hand moving on his back "It's okay Daddy" Eli comforted him as he continued to rub his father's back.

"Thanks Eli. I love you," Elliot managed to reply between the breathing.

Sometimes he forgot what a gentle soul Eli was, always looking out for others. People often said that Eli got that trait from Elliot, even though it was hard for him to believe. Elliot wasn't usually considered to be the calm and caring type. It was more along the lines of aggressive and hot headed. How he could be partly responsible for such a kind, loving, and gentle spirit he didn't know but he was thankful for Eli, and all of his children, every day or his life.

Once he could breathe a little easier he sat up and looked at Eli who had a

worried look on his face. Eli reached out and put his hands along the sides of Elliot's face "You alright daddy?"

"Ugh, yeah. Yeah Eli I'm doing okay. How about we get some ice cream?" Elliot replied to his son as Eli's worried frown instantly turned into the biggest smile.

Eli jumped up and down and pumped his tiny fists in the air "You're the best daddy ever!" He threw himself into Elliot's legs, trying to hug him as tight as his little arms could manage.

Elliot bent down and hoisted Eli up on his shoulders. He needed to get his mind off of Olivia and the best way to do that was focusing on Eli, he always had a way of making him feel better and today, after everything that just happened, Elliot needed that.

She pushed the stroller through her front door. Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it as her legs gave out. She finally let herself fall over the edge. After keeping it in for the last ten minutes on her way home, and the three years she's been without him, Olivia finally let herself go.

All of the emotions and thoughts that she's been harboring for the last three

years came back as soon as their eyes met. Everything she's buried deep inside, trying her hardest not to let show, not letting herself think about, were coming out in body wracking sobs.

She was struggling to breathe between the tears streaming down her face and the stuffy nose as a result of the crying. She moved onto her side, curling herself up in the fetal position on the floor, reminding herself to breathe.

After a good long cry, she picked herself up off of the floor and made her way over to Noah. Picking him up out of the stroller Olivia brought him up to rest on her chest. Bending her head down she left tiny kisses along the side of his face all the way up to the top of his head, "I'm never going to let you feel like you were abandoned. You are the most important thing in my whole world, the only thing that matters. I love you Noah, more than you'll ever know."

After the day she had, all Olivia wanted to do was spend the rest of her day, locked in her apartment, bonding with Noah. After he woke up from his nap they had dinner, Chinese delivery for her and a bottle and baby food for him.

Before bed time she gave Noah a bath. It was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. Noah never ceased to amaze her. He was sitting in his tub surrounded by bubbles giggling as a very soaked Olivia blew raspberries on his tummy "Oh you love bath time just as much as your mama does, don't you little man?"

Noah was splashing and playing with his toys the whole time when he accidentally got carried away and splashed himself in the face. Startling himself, Noah stopped moving, blinking his eyes profusely, trying to get the water out and trying to figure out what just happened. Olivia watched and waited for the breakdown she thought would be coming, but surprisingly, it never did.

After finally getting the water out of his eyes Noah looked up at Olivia. He cocked his head and furrowed his brows, reaching out with wet little starfish hands he grabbed at her face "Mama?" he said, almost questioning if he was right, testing out the water.

A very stunned and proud Olivia just stood there staring down at her little boy. Tears sprang to her eyes, this time out of joy, as she kissed Noah's head "Yeah little man... I'm your mama."

After getting the encouragement that he was in fact, correct, Noah began splashing and squealing "Mama, mama, mama," at the top of his lungs.

There was no way that Noah could possibly realize what this meant to Olivia. One of her biggest fears was that with his history, bouncing from place to place, that they wouldn't be able to form a close mother/son bond but he called her "Mama". That meant that he knew who she was. That she was an important person in his life, and not just some stranger. She also hoped that he knew that she was here for good, that she wasn't going anywhere. Noah calling her "Mama" confirmed everything she already thought. Olivia was put on this Earth to be Noah's mother.

Until she got custody of Noah, there was always this part of her that longed to have a child, which was no secret, but the reasoning behind it wasn't just something generic. She had always felt like something was missing, that she was missing the mark with the direction of her life. To Olivia, wanting a child wasn't just some womanly thing to do because her "clock was ticking", but because she felt she was born to do this. Aside from her job where she helped save hundreds of people, this was the path her life was supposed to take. Mind you, she thought she would be married having her own children, but receiving custody Noah wasn't any less special in her eyes. Because of the things she's been through, Olivia appreciated the amazing gift of being Noah's mother so much more, and she wasn't ever going to take one day for granted.

Elliot made it back to his apartment later that night after getting ice cream with Eli and dropping him off at Kathy's place. He went to his refrigerator and grabbed a beer, taking it with him into the living room, he sprawled out on the couch. There were a million things going through his head. The number one thing was _How do I make this better? _

He thought about it for a while, slowly sipping his beer, until he came up with what resembled some sort of a plan. He was going to give her a day or so to process their encounter and then he was going to stop by her apartment. Having heard that she moved from an old friend, and seeing her at the park, he figured he had a decent idea of where she lived, even if he would have to wonder around for a while in order to find her. Once he found her he was going to be completely honest with her about _everything_. The reasons behind why he left, why he didn't respond to her, and what he wanted for his future. No, _needed_ for his future. He threw away the empty beer bottled and leaned against his counter, rubbing his temples, _I'm going to get her back, I have to. _


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: Thank You all again for reviewing, I love reading what you guys so please keep it coming! A little step back from drama, Enjoy!

The day after her encounter with Elliot, which also included somewhat of a "meltdown", Olivia wanted to be around family. After getting herself and Noah ready for their day she called Nick and Fin and told them to stop by. They were going to swing by around noon so her and Noah had a little time to themselves before they arrived.

With Noah on her hip, Olivia got him a little snack and made her way over to her

living room. She had previously moved the table out of the way and put down a cushioned mat

for them to play on. She grabs a few of the toys for him to play with.

This was going to be a sort of test, she needed to find out what his favorites

were. Olivia put him down in front of her so she could get a good look at his

reactions.

"Alright little man! What's your fancy? You've got a toy bus, a

crinkle dog, and a teething key chain. Have at it," she chuckles as she shows

him the toys.

Noah wasn't so quick to make his decision. He reaches out a tentative hand and touches the bus, amazed that when he did, it moved slightly further away from him. He grabs at

it again, a grunt escaping his lips as he gets more frustrated that he isn't able to get

it back. Quickly losing interest in the bus he moves on to the dog.

Olivia moves the bus out of the way "One down, two to go."

She just watches as his mind works, absolutely mesmerized with him.

He grabs the dog between his two chubby hands and brings it towards his body. The

dogs material makes a crinkling noise much like the one a plastic wrapper would

make if you rubbed it between two fingers. Noah chews on the dogs ear, making

it a slobbery mess, and crinkling it nonstop, smiling and giggling the whole

time.

"Well it looks like we've got a contender" Olivia says as she tickles his

tummy. Noah breaks out in a fit of laughter as he tipped over onto his back,

squealing "Mama, mama."

It had not even been a week and Noah already had Olivia wrapped around his

little finger and knew the way straight to her heart. She pulls him back up

into a sitting position and kisses him all over his face "Okay Mama's sorry sweet

boy, she got carried away."

Interrupted by a knock on the door Olivia picks Noah up and went to get the

door.

"Are you ready to meet your Uncle Nick and Uncle Fin? I bet they can't wait to meet you," she says, kissing his cheek. Opening the door she's met by a very excited looking Nick Amaro. "Hey Nick! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," she says while pulling

him into a one armed hug.

He hugs her back, "I know what you mean. It's strange not to see you every

day."

Their hug was quickly interrupted by a squirming and fussy Noah.

Olivia quickly pulls away, bringing Noah up towards her face kissing down his

neck and shoulders "I am so very sorry Noah. You were getting squished, weren't you little boy?"

After a moment Noah settled down, Olivia turned back around to look at Nick "I'm sorry about that. Where were we?"

"Liv you're fine and I think you were about to introduce me to your new little

guy" Nick reply's as he slowly reaches his finger out towards the little boy, Noah grabs hold of it, waving it around smiling and giggling.

Olivia looks down at Noah, laughing at how well he's adjusting "Well Nick, this is Noah,"

she says looking from Nick to Noah. Then looking from Noah to Nick "And

Noah, this is your Uncle Nick."

"May I?" Nick asks, reaching out to take Noah from Olivia.

Wondering how this would turn out she though it over for a moment while looking

down at her smiling baby boy. "Yeah go ahead" she finally decides handing Noah

over to Nick.

Nick held Noah up to eye level "Hello there little guy! I'm so glad to meet

you!" Noah just continues to smile and begins babbling in baby talk.

Olivia looks at him with a huge smile, thinking about how he's just so happy to have all eyes on him and get the undivided attention he truly deserves.

"I think he likes you. He hasn't really been around anyone else like this yet

and he seems to be handling it pretty well," Olivia says as she moves to the

other side of Nick so she could see Noah's face.

"Hi there little man! Do you like your Uncle Nick? I think you do" she coos as she reaches her hand out, stroking down his cheek and under his chin, receiving a giggle.

Nick brings Noah down to his chest and kisses his cheek "Good, because I

like him too. Love you little guy" he whispers into his ear.

Olivia just watched on in awe, tears stinging her eyes "Thank You."

Nick turns to look at her with a confused look on his face "For what?"

"Just for being supportive and caring about Noah, that's all I want for him,"

she confides in him, as a tear slides down her cheek. Olivia quickly wiped it away hoping

it went unnoticed.

"C'mere," Nick replies as he reaches out an arm towards Olivia, offering her a hug.

Olivia accepted walking towards Nick as he hugged her into a three way hug with

Noah. After a few moment she pulls away "Okay, I'm good. I think the last couple days

have just been a lot."

"Yeah, I bet they were. How are you two settling in?" Nick questions as he made

his way to the couch, still holding Noah.

Olivia follows behind him, taking a seat on the opposite side "I think

we're doing pretty good! We got his room set up and we're getting into a bit of

a schedule. So all in all I'd say we're well on our way."

"How are _you_ handling all of this," he asks her with nothing but sincerity in

his voice.

She looks at him, looking him the eye, and tries to convey that she wasn't lying

to him "I'm great actually. The first couple days I was overwhelmed. I didn't

have the first clue what to do or how to do it. Once I got him all settled in it definitely

got easier. I started to get the hang of the whole mothering thing and, we've

been doing really good."

Nick was looking down at Noah as he plays with his key ring "Good I'm glad. You

deserve this Liv. You deserve _him_."

Starting to get emotional Olivia waves her hand "Okay let's talk about something

else. I'm too emotional," she chuckles "Where's Fin? I thought he was coming

with you."

"Oh yeah! I have the kids today so I have to leave soon. He's driving

separately, should be here soon," Nick informs her as he gets on the floor to play

with Noah.

"Oh okay, sounds good," she nods "speaking of the kids, how's everything with you going?"

Nick's pushing the bus back and forth with Noah "They're great! The more time we all spend together it brings us closer."

"Good. I'm glad you're all doing well," Olivia replies genuinely, remembering a time when it wasn't always smooth sailing for him.

"Yeah we're all good. It's strange, ya know..." He's interrupted by a knock on the door.

Olivia moves towards the door "I bet that's Fin. She opens the door and is greeted by Fin with an armful of takeout and a movie in his hand "I come barein gifts!"

Olivia laughs as she hugs him "Yeah, you always do!"

"You know I got chu," he replies with a shrug, making his way to the counter and

putting down all of the stuff.

"You're just in time. It seems we're having a bit of a play date over there,"

she motions over towards Noah and Nick playing and laughing on the floor in the

living room.

"I been waitin _all_ day for this!" Fin tells her, shrugging off his jacket and making

his way over to the living room "Hey man what's up?"

"Hey! Just playing with Noah here. He's fun," Nick chuckles as Noah tries to

fit his key ring in his mouth.

Fin reaches out his hand to bump knuckles with Noah "Hey Noah it's good to meet

you!"

Nick gives Noah another quick kiss on the head as he gets up from the floor "I'll leave you guys

to get acquainted! It was nice to see you Noah, maybe I'll come by in a few

days and we can play some more!"

Olivia and Nick make their way towards the door "Thanks for coming over. You're

really great with him. He looked like he was having a ton of fun!"

"Babies are the best. He's at a good age, they start to play a lot more," he

say as he hugs her.

"Come by any time you want. I need some time to talk with a person who actually

understands what I'm saying," she laughs, remembering all of the one sided

conversations she's had with Noah in the last few days.

"I remember those days! I'll call you this week. Cya," he yells back, waving as he left the apartment.

"Bye Nick," Olivia yells back to him, closing the door. Olivia made her way back over to Fin and Noah.

Fin looks up at Olivia as she sits down on the couch, releasing a sigh, "How you been doin there babygirl?"

She couldn't keep the smile off her face "I'm great Fin. Truly, I'm the happiest I've been for a _long_ time. I'm a little more tired than usual, but I'll take it."

He smiles and nods his head knowingly "Bein a mama is hard work."

Noah started clapping his hands and smiling as he looks up at Olivia "Mama, mama,

mama."

Hearing Noah call her Mama never got old. Her heart overflowing with love

"Yeah baby boy, I'm your mama."

Fin just watches the pair as they stared at each other "When did that happen?"

She looks at him, love just radiating off of her "Last night during his bath.

It was probably the best moment of my entire life," she gushes as the tears once

again return.

Fin moves one hand to rest on her knee giving it a gentle squeeze "You're doing

great. Your gonna be the best mama to this little boy. I'm so happy for you Liv."

She squeezes his hand "You know, there was a time when I thought I'd never have

this. That I'd never get to experience motherhood and that I didn't deserve

too," Olivia looks down at Noah and runs her finger along the side of his face

"But every time I look at him or he calls me mama I know that this is real.

That I do deserve this happiness and I am going to be the best mother to him

that I can possibly be."

Fin squeezes her hand and looks up at her "Liv you are the best

mother for him. You're amazing with him. I knew that you'd be a natural and I am

so happy for the both of you. He needed you, just as much as _you_ needed

him."

Olivia gets down on the floor next to Fin and picks up Noah, kissing him on the cheek "Yeah, I did, and I think we _both_ got a little lucky here."

Fin pulls her into a sideways hug "You two are gonna be just fine. How about I go make us up a couple of plates and we'll start this movie night?"

"Yeah that would be nice, and thank you Fin, I mean it," Olivia says as he gets up and starts towards the kitchen.

He turns around to look at her "You're welcome babygirl, you're like a sister to me, I'd do anything for you. And that goes for my nephew also."

**A/N:** Up next is the drama, I promise...


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank You all once again for the reviews and follows! I love hearing what you all have to say, so please keep it coming. Enjoy!

Ch.8

A couple of days later, Elliot was at work when he decided today was the day: He was going to talk to Olivia. Elliot taught a 6 week training camp for all students interested in entering the field of criminal justice. He got 30 students at a time and together they would go over everything from crime scenes to firing a weapon. While it wasn't action packed like his old job it was enough. He never got called out in the middle of the night and he was still able to

feel like he was contributing to society.

After his class that evening he got in his car and made his way to where he thought Olivia lived. 10 minutes later he parks his car and gets out. Breaking out his old skills he canvasses the area, looking for anything that would tip him off to where she might live. On the right side he sees some office buildings and store fronts, automatically eliminating those. On the left there is a parking garage next to what looked like an apartment building.

He makes his way towards the parking garage, deciding he would look for her car first. Elliot made his way through a few aisles before he found it, her older model red mustang convertible. "She definitely lives here," he says to himself as he walks over to her car and rested his hands on the hood. Elliot sent out a silent prayer hoping that tonight goes as well as possible because he needs her back.

Elliot walks back out to the street and takes a seat on the stoop across the street from the apartment building. He's not sure which apartment is hers, let alone if she was even there. Elliot sits there for an hour just watching people go by, looking up at the windows for any sign of her, and getting his head together. His nerves are all over the place as he wrings his hands in front of him. He's anxious, excited, and lucky. He's lucky because he accidentally ran into her, that he could possibly get a second chance with her, to finally be everything she's always needed. Lucky because he is going to see her again, going to be able to look at her and take her all in. After three years he is ready and this night was long overdue.

He looks back at one of the only opened windows and sees her. He shakes

his head just to make sure it was her he actually saw. He watched as she walked

passed the window again, carrying the baby she was with at the park. This is it. This is his chance. He musters up all the courage he had and walks across the street. As he approaches the door, a young man came out carrying a pizza bag. Taking the opportunity Elliot runs towards the door just in time to catch it before it closed. Taking the elevator he makes his way up to the

fourth floor. He walks down the hallway and stops outside the third door on the left.

Elliot takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

Inside Olivia has just put Noah down for the night and was making her way towards her own room when she hears the knock on the door. "Who could that be?" She wonders making her way to the door. Stopping to look through her peep hole, a new habit she's picked up since Lewis and also now since Noah, she needed to be more careful. Who she sees is not one of the people she expected "Elliot," she exhales as she jumps back from the door, hoping he couldn't hear her.

One second, one glance, and it all comes back. Everything she felt for him comes flooding back ... overwhelming her senses. She can still remember his smell, the aftershave and musk. The smell that always lingered on her clothes after a long day, the one that made her feel safe. She can still feel the love that she's had for him all of these years and she realizes that she's never really let him go. She's carried him with her for the last three years in her memories and, in her heart. The way she loved him, how she still loves him, is a once in a life time kind of love. She's loves him unconditionally, through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. He was a part of her, a part that she'll never get back, but a part she won't ever let go.

Then she remembers him leaving and the devastation she felt the months after he left. All the nights she cried herself to sleep, all the days she couldn't bare to walk into the precinct knowing he wouldn't be there. The day she had to pack his desk will forever be burned into her memory. No one has ever been able to make her feel so much pain ... not her mother, not even Lewis. Heartbreak was a pain all its own. Feeling like your heart has shattered into a million pieces, that the one you love is simply ripping it to shreds. Having her heart physically hurt was like nothing she'd ever felt before.

Elliot leans against the door keeping his voice low, trying not to disturb her neighbors "Come on Liv, I know you're in there. I saw you from the window ... please, just open the door."

She leans heavily against the door, so many things running through her head. Willing herself to find the nerve to speak "Elliot, _please,_ just go away. Leave. Just go back to your life ... the life without me in it. That's what you really want. Trust me, you've made that _perfectly_ clear."

He took a deep breath not wanting to lose his temper "Please Olivia. We need to talk. I need to talk to you ... " He trails off feeling slightly defeated "I'll sit out here all night, I'm not going anywhere. I know I messed up, that you're probably angry at me ... " At that the door flies open to reveal Olivia, hands on her hips, and tears welling in her eyes.

"Elliot don't you _dare_ stand there and tell me how I feel! You don't have a clue about how your leaving affected me! I was hurt, and devastated, but I wasn't angry at _you_, Elliot ... I was angry with myself." She had to turn around and wipe the tear that slipped down her cheek. "I should have known better than that. I shouldn't have trusted you the way that I did."

He cast his eyes downward, concentrating on a spot on the floor, running his hands through his hair, trying to put together a response "Olivia, please. _Please_ don't do that. My leaving had _nothing_ to do with you ... I was being selfish leaving how I did and I regret it, so very much."

She turns back around, staring at him with a blank face "What is it that you want from me, Elliot? What _more_ could you possibly take from me?" because thinking about everything that he has inadvertently taken from her by leaving, the list continues to grow: Her dignity, her happiness, and above all else, her independence.

Elliot shakes his head, not sure of how to proceed. Taking a deep breath he looks at her face. There was no emotion, no spark in her eye, it was as if she wasn't even there. "I'm here because you deserve an explanation, you deserve a conversation that should have happened three years ago. That is, if you want it?"

Olivia just stood there, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes rimmed with tears "What do you think Elliot?" she croaks half in anger and half in disbelief. "Don't stand here acting like you're doing me some huge favor, like you're being some type of standup guy."

He stutters for a second trying to back pedal over his last statement, waving his hands out in front of him "Uh, no, I didn't mean it that way. It just ... "

"Enough!" Olivia yells silencing him "If we are actually going to do this, if you really want to have this discussion, then you better be prepared ... "

It takes him a second to gather everything she's just said "Yes. Yeah ... I'm

ready."

Olivia walks away from the door allowing him to enter and makes her way into the

kitchen to get herself a bottle of wine. It was definitely going to be needed

tonight.

Elliot walks into her apartment and shuts the door, not quite sure what to

do now. He watches as she wonders through the kitchen, gathering the things she would need to endure the night. Her hand trembles slightly as she reaches for her glass.

Olivia pours herself a glass and brings the rest into the living room. She opts to sit on the chair, putting some distance between them.

Elliot follows her lead and takes a seat on the couch facing her. They sat there for a moment as the silence enveloped them. Neither one of them was sure where to start. Elliot rubs his hands down his face "Liv, you have to know I am really sorry."

She takes a sip from her glass before responding "Sorry for what exactly, Elliot?"

He knew that this wasn't going to be easy and that she was certainly not going to just accept "sorry" as the answer to all their issues. "For _everything_. I'm sorry for leaving and not telling you. I'm sorry for not answering any of the times your tried to reach out to me, and I'm sorry for not coming to you until now," he tells her as he hangs his head down.

"Why?" she ground out, trying to keep it all together. Olivia never wants him to see her cry over him. He doesn't deserve it.

"Why what?" He questions as he picks his head up to look at her.

She is looking at him now "Why did you do it ... _all_ of it?"

He stands up from the couch and paces around her living room. She isn't sure what to make of it, but she's sure that he's nervous "Just tell me Elliot, whatever the reasons, I won't judge you." She takes a shaky breathe then lets it out "Even if it was because you couldn't work with me anymore," she says as she cast her eyes downward staring at the edge of her table.

Elliot stops in his tracks and turns to look at her "It wasn't because of you Liv, I just couldn't do it anymore. Waking up every day and seeing what I saw day in and day out was killing me." He moves back towards the couch. "After Jenna I just couldn't take what I would see in all of your eyes ... " he trails off as he hangs his head down "The look of utter disappointment that I would have gotten from everyone. I finally turned into everything my father always told me I would be ... a screw up and a disappointment."

She is out of her chair in seconds, standing directly in front of him "Look at me," she orders him, but he continues to stare at the ground. She cups his face in her hands and turns his head up so they would be face to face "Elliot Stabler, you listen to me: Understand?" After a moment he nods his head and she continues, "You are not a screw up and you are not a disappointment. You did what you needed to do to put an end to a dangerous situation. Jenna didn't care who she hit when she walked into the precinct. You saved all of us," she says fighting to keep her tears at bay. "And I was never disappointed with your choice to pull that trigger. If _you_ didn't do it, someone else would have. You have to let it go Elliot," she speaks down to him as she swipes her thumbs over his cheeks, wiping away the few stray tears that are making their way down his face. "Holding onto that day isn't doing anyone any good, we've all let it go. It was a good shot, and we all believe that Elliot, it's time you believe it too."

He's not even sure when the tears started but he can't stop them now "I've missed you ... _so_ much," he says above a whisper as he pulls her to him, wrapping his arms around her torso, burying his head in the material of his sweater.

Olivia is slightly taken off guard but allows the embrace. She moves her hands to the back of his head, one of them caresses the back of his neck while the other rests on the side of his face, holding him to her "I've missed you too."

After a few moments Olivia unwraps his arms from around her and stands back, wiping away the tears on her face "Elliot, there's still more to be said ... "


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thank You all for continuing to review, I love reading all of the feedback. Enjoy!

Elliot moved back on the couch and wiped away the rest of his fallen tears "You're right, I'm sorry. Please, say or ask me whatever it is you need. I can take it."

Olivia sat back down in her chair and took a large gulp from her glass "Do you have any idea what you did to me? The hell I went through after you left ... Lewis ... " she trailed off as tears streamed down over her cheeks.

Elliot moved from the couch to kneel down in front of her, putting his hands on her knees "Olivia, I am _so_ sorry that ... " he was cut off as Olivia stood up, throwing his hands off of her.

"No! _No_ ... you do _not_ get to do that! You don't get to just say you're sorry!" She yelled forcefully. "Where were _you_? I needed you and you weren't there. You didn't even try to find me," she managed to get out as she broke out into a sob.

Elliot reached out to touch her arm, attempting to turn her around "Liv. Please ... _please_ look

at me. I need you to hear me when I say this. I need you to know it's the truth."

Olivia turned around, wet tear tracks running down her face "Why didn't you come for me?"

"Oh Liv, I _tried_. I tried to get back here to help find you. After the divorce, I left for a while. I needed to get my head together, try to figure out what I wanted for once and by the time I got back here they had found you. You were with Cassidy and I didn't want to swoop in and mess up your life any more than it already was. You didn't need that then. I thought you were better

without me," Elliot tells her.

Looking down at the carpet Olivia whispered "I wasn't better without you. I'm _not_ better without you."

He moved closer to her "I wanted to come to you. I wanted to be there for you but you had already been through so much. I did what I thought was best for you and stayed away." Elliot let out a deep breath , scratching his neck "Maybe I was being selfish, but I couldn't even imagine seeing you like that. I would have lost it Liv, you know me. I wouldn't have been any good to you like that."

Olivia looked back up at him, taking in his words "Yeah Elliot, I do know you and I thought you knew me." She walked away from him, needing to put distance between them "So you didn't come see me because you couldn't handle seeing me beaten and broken?" Olivia moved in closer to him, getting right in his face "Are you ashamed of me, Elliot? Do I _repulse_ you now because I'm broken?" she questioned as the tears threatened to fall, yet again.

Elliot shook his head, trying to figure out how they got here "No, no Olivia. You've got it all wrong." He started pacing through the living room, gathering his thoughts "That's not it at all. If I would have come back and saw you for even five minutes, I would have lost it. I would have went off all halfcocked ... and I would have _killed_ Lewis. I swear it Liv, I would have done it without a second thought."

Olivia just stared at him, the honesty hitting her with its full weight "El ... "

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently "I swear on my life I was trying to protect you. I would have made matters worse, and let's face it," he looked up meeting her eyes again "my judgment has always been clouded when it comes to _you_, Liv."

She looked away from him. Even though he was probably right, that only answered one of her questions "Why did you leave without saying anything to me? You just left. Not a word, not a phone call, not even a text." She moved her eyes back towards him, the raw emotion in her voice evident "I didn't even get to say goodbye."

He moved to look at her, really look at her, and he saw just how deep he cut her. He knew how hard it was for her because he went through it too. "I couldn't say goodbye to you. If I would have told you that I was leaving, I wouldn't have been able to do it," he stopped to take a deep breath "I wouldn't have been able to leave you if I had to see the hurt on your face, knowing that I did that. And I took the cowards way out, but it was the only way I could walk away."

She inclined her body towards him "I wouldn't have forced you to stay if what you really needed ... was to leave. I would have understood."

He moved closer to her "I know you would have because that's who you are, Liv. You put everyone else first. If I would have told you I was leaving you would have put on your mask and told me you were fine, even though we both know that wouldn't have been true." He moved even closer to her, taking her hand in his "I would have known you were lying because I promise you, I was feeling all the same things you were."

She stared at him, the confusion evident on her face "What do you mean?"

He gave her hand another light squeeze "The first month of not seeing you was absolutely miserable. I didn't even want to get out of bed some days, but I had to. I tried my best to repress the urge to call you every day because it still wasn't the right time. The whole first year I was a bastard ... even more than usual," he let out a soft chuckle, trying to break some of the tension. "Kathy and I, we were fighting constantly, and I didn't even care. After six months of just tolerating each other, I finally realized that Kathy deserved someone who didn't just _want_ to want her."

She can't even speak. All Olivia wants to do is run but she can't, she's rooted to her spot. She looked into his eyes and tried to get a read on him.

He continued "It wasn't fair to Kathy anymore and I didn't want Eli growing up in house with all of the fighting the way I did, so we separated, _again._ This time though, it was permanent. We filed for divorce and it was finalized six months later."

Olivia gripped his hand tighter, concern etched in her face "Elliot, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you two, I know you both tried ... how are you handling it?"

_That's Liv, always worried about everyone else_ "I'm fine, really. Kathy and I get along better than ever, and I see Eli whenever I can. The older kids handled it well, they knew things weren't working, and I think we all get along a lot better now."

Olivia let go of his hand, wrapping her arms around herself "Why now? Why come back now, after all this time?"

Elliot sat back down on the couch looking up at her "Because I finally had the balls to come back. I was finally able to give you all the answers you deserved."

Olivia backed away from him, tears in her eyes again "I _needed_ you El, like I've never needed anyone before: I have always needed you."

Elliot moved towards her, lifting her chin up so he could look into her eyes "You, Liv, are the _only_ person, I have _ever_ needed." He moved his hand to brush along the side of her face "Why do you think I turned into work every day, huh? I could have transferred, gotten another job, but you wouldn't have been there. I left because I thought you deserved better ... I thought you would be better off without me if I was out of your life."

Tears streamed down her face "But I wasn't El, I was in _hell_. I was miserable without you. Going to work and knowing you weren't sitting across from me, it broke my heart, _every single day_," she stopped to wipe her nose and clear her throat. The emotions from those days hitting her, wave after wave "It's the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. The hardest thing was to watch everything change right before my eyes and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. For the last three years all I wanted to do was let go, to move on, but I never could. I told myself that it didn't matter ... that _you_ didn't matter anymore, but it never worked." She wiped away more tears and took a deep breath "The worst thing of all was that I thought you cared more than that, I thought that our friendship, or whatever we had, was more than just the job." She sniffled and wiped away more tears "I thought that it would have been harder for you to just walk away and never look back."

He cupped her cheek with his hand "Liv, I might have left but I did look back. I have thought

about you every single day since I left. There were so many days I wanted to come back or

to call you, and I regret every day that I didn't." He wiped away the tears and used his hand to push back the hair from her eyes "I couldn't _think_ without you. I couldn't _breathe_ without you ... it's like for the last three years there was a weight sitting on my chest, and nothing I did made it better. I might have been alive, but what I was doing, certainly was not living." He sniffled, letting the emotion show "You mean more to me than you will ever know, but back then, I couldn't be the man you needed me to be. Walking away from you is the day I regret the most and I will never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did ... but I'm back and I'm not leaving: not _ever_." He rubbed his thumb across her cheek and stared down at her "I've finally figured it all out. I know what I want."

Olivia looked into his eyes and moved her hand to rest on top of the one on her cheek "What do you want, Elliot?"

Elliot's voice was low and hoarse "You Liv. All I want is you ... "


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: We made it to 100 reviews this past week! I am so thankful for each and every one of you who take the time to read and review this story. Please Enjoy!

She stood there, not moving, not speaking. She just stared at him, hoping she heard him right.

"I am nothing without you. If I have to wait 10 years for you to trust me again, I'll wait. If you want to work to rebuild our friendship first I'll do it. I have tried to live without you and I failed ... _miserably_, so whatever I need to do to have you in my life at all, if even just as friends I'll do it. I _need_ you in my life."

Olivia took a shaky breath. Elliot had said everything she's ever wanted to hear him say, but it wasn't as simple now as it would have been back then. She moved her hands to cup his face "Elliot, I want you back in my life ... I need you back, but I'm not the same person I used to be. A lot has changed."

He reached for her hand, entwining his with hers, and looked into her deep, brown eyes, "I'm not the same person I was back then either, but I _will_ do whatever I have to do in order to have you back in my life."

"Okay."

He was slightly confused that she had just agreed "Okay?"

She moved her hand up and caressed his cheek, her lips slightly turned up at the corners, forming a small smile "Yes, _okay_. I want you back, Elliot."

His face mirrored hers, thankful she in fact wanted him back just as much as he wanted her "Okay then."

She looked back up at him "Can you do something for me?" After a brief moment he nodded like she knew he would and she continued "It's been three long years without you, can you just hold me? I need to make sure that this actually happened: That you're actually standing here, in my apartment."

Elliot pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her, he buried his face in the crook of her neck "I have one more thing I need to say ... You might not be ready to hear all of this but I need to say it ... In the end all I want is to be with you. I want to build a life with you. Whether that be in months or years, that's what I want. I'm not trying to rush you at all, but life's too short and I need you to know ..." he took a deep breath "... I love you, Liv, with all of who I am."

After absorbing everything he had said, she realized he did want all of the things she did, and that he loved her, just like she loved him. Olivia stood up on her tip toes to reach his ear "I love you, too. For as long as I can remember."

Elliot pulled back to look into her eyes, trying to find the slightest hint of deception, but all he saw was love. He was stunned that the woman he loved, actually loved him back. "Wait... what did you just say?"

She used the pad of her thumb to caress the side of his cheek and gave a slight smile "I love you Elliot. I have known that for years, the only thing the last three years did was prove that to me. I have waited so long to hear you say that, that I just thought you didn't feel that way."

Moisture began pooling in his eyes as he confessed what he had been feeling for more than a decade "I have been falling in love with you since the day we met 16 _long_ years ago." Elliot moved his hand to the side of her face, running his thumb across her lips. He moved closer to her and brought his head down, their faces only inches apart.

Olivia could feel his breath on her face, the rough pad of his thumb gliding across her lips "El..."

He moved in closer, their lips almost touching "I want to kiss you."

Her breathing hitched "Yeah," she replied as she moved in closer to him and allowed her lips to graze his ever so gently.

At first he was stunned, not sure what to do, she had kissed him. Olivia, the woman he's loved for years had kissed him. Soon the shock disappeared and he moved his hand to cup her cheek, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss.

Olivia was pretty sure her heart had stopped, she never wanted this moment to end. She brought her hands up to the back of his neck, stopping to caress the scruff on the back of his neck as she pulled back, desperately needing air.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him, resting his forehead against hers "I love you."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes "I love you too, El."

He bent his head down, leaving open mouthed kisses along the side of her neck. Finding her pulse, he sucked, knowing there would be a mark tomorrow.

"Oh El," she cooed as she tilted her head back, giving him more access.

He breathed her in, sucking on her skin, moving down towards her chest "I've waited a long time to taste you Liv... _way_ too long."

Olivia moved her hand to the back of his head, lightly tugging on his cropped hair, breathing heavily "Oh, you have _no_ idea." She ducked her head down, guiding his lips back to hers.

Their lips met again, this time the kiss was more needy, aggressive, 16 years of built up sexual attention surrounding this moment. He sucked on her bottom lip, gently coaxing her mouth open. She granted him entrance and he instantly deepened the kiss, exploring every inch of her. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

She mumbled through the kiss "Bedroom, now."

He pulled away and looked into her eyes "Are sure Liv? I don't want you to regret this ... to regret _me_. I wouldn't be able to survive that."

She moved one hand to the side of his face, rubbing her thumb along his lips, still glistening and swollen from their kiss "I will never regret you Elliot, _never_. That's one promise I will be able to keep."

"Okay," he breathed out, kissing her again as he carried her back to the bedroom. Closing the door behind them he laid her back on the bed and moved between her legs. He bent down, and kissed her neck again, moving down the sweater that covered her shoulder, exposing more of her skin to him.

Olivia moved her hands towards the hem of his shirt, un-tucking it from his dress pants. Her hands finally touched skin, sending chills through her body. After such a long time of only being able to look but not touch, it was overwhelming. His body was still in the best shape it ever was. She ran her hands up across his abs and over his chest "Oh _God,_ El. You're body ... "

Elliot ran his hands up along the sides of her body, memorizing every curve as she arched up against him "You're one to talk. You're _gorgeous_, Liv," He said moving back to stare into her eyes "Every inch of your body is incredible. The way your hips move when you walk, the curve of the small of your back, your lips ... " he trailed off kissing her again, lightly parting her lips, he ran his tongue along her bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and lightly biting "I could kiss them all day long."

Olivia just laid there speechless, loving him even more with each passing moment.

He moved his hand to the bottom of her sweater, she lifted up, and allowed him to pull it over her head. He was now met with a lace camisole that immediately followed the path of her sweater. "Finally," he groaned as he got his first glimpse of the olive skin of her chest, adorned with a white lace bra "We need to have a discussion about how many layers you wear," he chuckled as he lowered further down her body.

She chuckled in response, then felt him as he moved further down her body "El ... "

"Shhh ... " he whispered as he started unbuckling her jeans, pulling them down her legs. He began kissing from her feet all the way up her right leg, then doing the same to the other "These legs, Liv ... You have no idea how many hours I have wasted just staring at your amazing body." Elliot made his way back up her body, reaching her chest, he stared down at her. He inhaled sharply, noticing for the first time the scars that were left over from her time with Lewis.

Olivia noticed the halt in his movement and she brought her arms down in front of her, trying her best to cover up "No El, don't look at them. They're ugly," her voice quivered slightly.

Elliot shook his head and grabbed her arms gently, moving them away from her chest "No Liv, let me see them. I want to see every part of you."

Her eyes started to fill with tears, and her breathing began to come in short, ragged breaths "Please don't make me Elliot, you won't think of me the same way after you see them. They will haunt your memory _forever_."

He let go of her arms and took her face in his hands "Olivia Benson, you are the most _beautiful_ woman I have ever laid eyes on. Every time I see you, you take my breath away. I would never think any differently because of your scars ... I think they're beautiful."

All she could do was stare at him as the tears started streaking down her face. He is the love of her life, and in this moment, she has never loved him more, but she wouldn't be Olivia if she didn't question him "What do you mean? How can these hideous things be beautiful to you?" she asked him, barely above a whisper.

Elliot stroked her cheek and ran his fingers through her hair "Because Olivia: They prove that you survived. Every time I see them they will remind me that you are the strongest, bravest, most resilient woman I know." He started kissing down her neck, leaving feather light kissing on the tiny scars that mark her chest and the parts of her breasts exposed to him. He kissed half way across her chest and looked up at her "They're beautiful because they are a part of you and because if I think about the other possible outcome of those days, the one where you don't have these scars, it means you aren't here ... with me" he choked out as his own tears became visible.

She saw the pain and desperation in his eyes, knowing she too has thought the same things. She couldn't handle watching him fall apart in front of her eyes, the strongest man she's ever known, just crumbling above her. The only thing she could do for him was make it real, prove to him she was really here "Oh baby, come here," she cooed, pulling him down to fully rest on top of her.

He rested his head on her chest, as his tears continued to drop onto her skin. He could hear her heart beating, and it was the most glorious sound he thinks he's ever heard.

Olivia stroked his head and back gently, leaving kisses along the top of his head and face "I am right here ... feel me," she said as she wrapped her body tighter around his. "Hear my heart beating ... the rise and fall of my chest ... " she intertwined the fingers of her hand with his and brought them to rest on top of her heart. She kissed the top of his head "I am right here, baby, and I'm not going anywhere."

They laid like that for a while before Elliot turned his head and looked up at her "I'm sorry about that ... it's just that when I think of all that could have..."

Olivia put a finger to his lips, efficiently silencing him "We can't think of all that could have happened, it will only drive you more crazy. It did for me." She moved away her finger, and replaced it with her lips. "All you need to think about is that I'm here and I love you, very much."

He smiled up at her, he was never going to get tired of hearing her say that "I love you too Liv, even the parts you'd rather forget," he echoed back to her a line from a conversation they had years ago.

She took his face in her hands and brought him closer. She kissed him passionately and looked into his eyes "Make love to me, Elliot."

That was all the encouragement he needed as he started kissing down her neck, all the way down to her abdomen. It wasn't long before both were completely naked and entwined in each other's arms, both swept away in the moment.

This wasn't just sex and the physical attraction they had towards one another, it was so much more. This was two people acknowledging over a decade of unrequited love. Giving yourself wholly to someone and never being able to get it back. Trusting someone, not only with your body, but with your heart. Allowing someone to see you entirely, which was not something either of them have truly ever done.

The passion between them was stronger than with anyone else and after they were done Elliot pulled the cover up over both of them and pulled Olivia into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her naked, sweat covered body, and kissed the back of her head "That was ... incredible."

Olivia turned her head back capturing his lips once more and let out a contented sigh "Yeah it was. We really shouldn't have waited this long to do that," she chuckled.

He also chuckled and kissed her neck "Well, at least we won't have to wait that long to do it again. I don't plan on wasting any more of our time together."

She rolled him over onto his back, taking him by surprise, and pinned his arms above his head "But this time, I'm in charge," she told him as she kissed her way down his chest.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** **Thank You all for the continued support! I just want to give you all a heads up, I am going to try to stick with a MWF schedule and possibly once on the weekends if I get ahead. Enjoy!**

Olivia awoke the next morning to cool air against her back. She blinked her eyes a few times forcing away the sleep and turning over looking for Elliot. What she saw took her breath away.

Elliot was laying there with one arm above his head, and Noah cradled in the other. Olivia reached down and picked up Elliot's dress shirt, putting it on. Once she was covered she moved closer to her sleeping boys and kissed each on the head. She cuddled in with them and stroked Noah's hand until it opened for her. She put her finger in his palm and allowed it to close around it.

Elliot stirred and looked over at her and smiled "Good morning gorgeous," he said as he ran his free hand through her hair.

She leaned up on her elbow and kissed him on the lips "Good morning yourself." She looked down at Noah and stroked his head "How'd he get in here?"

Elliot looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms "Well, he woke up a couple of hours ago and I thought you could use a little more sleep," he shot her a devious smirk. "So I went and got him. I changed his diaper and got him a bottle, then we came in here to lay with mommy."

She couldn't believe how much she loved this man, he was truly amazing. He wasn't even back in her life a day yet and was already caring for Noah, which both warmed her heart and scared her "You didn't have to do that."

He watched Noah as he sucked on his pacifier, he rubbed his finger along his cheek and under his chin "But I wanted to. He was no trouble."

"You should have woke me up, we haven't been together that long and I love my mornings with him" she told him as she quickly picked Noah up, careful not to wake him, and laid him down on her chest. It was her job to protect Noah, and that duty included protecting him from Elliot.

"Whoa Liv," he said as he held his hands up as if to surrender "I thought I was helping you out, I thought you deserved a morning off." Elliot had heard that she had just received custody of Noah, but that's all the further his knowledge went.

She knew he was doing it out of love for her but the pain he caused her by walking away was bad enough the first time and she was not going to go through that again with Noah. She looked down at Noah, completely peaceful and oblivious to the dangerous territory his mother was about to enter "I know, but he hasn't been around many people and I don't want him getting attached."

Elliot sat up and turned his body to face her "What do you mean by that?"

She rubbed Noah's back, trying to buy herself some time before responding. Olivia didn't want to start an argument, especially after their wonderful night together, but this discussion needed to happen sooner rather than later "Is this what you _really_ want, Elliot?"

He didn't even have to think about "Yes, Olivia ... I want _you_."

She moved both of her hands to rest on Noah, subconsciously trying protecting him "I know you want me, but it's not just me you're signing up for." She bent her head down to kiss Noah "I'm a package deal."

Elliot just looked at her, kind of confused as to where this was going, even though Noah wasn't her biological son, he knew her love for him was just as fierce as it would be if he was her blood and he had every intention of taking both of them "Yes I know that Olivia. I want you, and if Noah is part of that deal, okay."

She moved away from him, a dejected look appeared on her face "Is that how you see Noah? As just some hassle that you're going to have to put up with?"

"What? No! What are you even getting at here, Liv?" he asked frantically as he moved towards her.

She put her hand out trying to stop his advances "Noah is not just some baggage that I'm hauling behind me. He's my _son, _and he isn't going _anywhere_." She brought her hand down and ran her fingers through Noah's hair "I have wanted this, a child, for my entire life and I can't control the fact that I'm doing this at the age I am, but I'm okay with it." She looked back up at him "I won't have you come in and out of his life. He doesn't deserve that."

"You're scared I'm going to leave you? That's what all this is about?" he asked incredulous, raising his voice "What about last night, Liv? Didn't you hear anything I said?"

Her eyes went wide as she backed away holding Noah against her chest "You will _not_ yell at me in front of him!" she yelled in a harsh whisper.

Elliot realized then, something he had long forgotten. There was nothing stronger than a mother protecting her child. He didn't want to yell or even _have_ an argument with her but he needed to make sure she knew where he was coming from and what he meant by what he said. "I'm sorry, Liv ... uh, this really wasn't the way I thought our morning was going to go," he said dejectedly, lowering his gaze.

Olivia looked away, her defense weakening, "Let me just put him down and we can finish talking."

He nodded, the mood a somber one, he knew this wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

Olivia took Noah into his bedroom, shut the door, and sat down in the rocker, cuddling him close "I love you little man. I'm going to try to do what's best for us here, I promise you that. You're my only priority. Elliot is a really good man and he would be a _great_ role model for you. He might have made some mistakes but he's trying really hard to make up for them." She kissed his head as she moved to put him down in his crib "Mama loves you Noah, so much."

After putting him down, she closed his door and walked back into her bedroom. Elliot was sitting on the edge of her bed with his head in his hands. She didn't want to startle him so she walked in and stopped in front of him, softly calling his name "El..."

He dropped his hands away from his face and looked up at her, his eyes red rimmed and glistening with unshed tears "I don't want to lose you because I'm terrible with words."

She brought one hand to rest on the side of his cheek "You're not going to lose me ... at least, I hope not ... but we do need to talk about this."

Elliot took her hand in his and kissed her palm before standing up and bringing it to rest on his heart "I love you, Liv. I want to have a life with you, and I didn't mean for what I said earlier to come out the way it did. I don't think of Noah that way, you have to know that."

She squeezed his hand "I know that, you're not that type of man, Elliot, but this is a lot for anyone and I know that this is probably a lot more than you bargained for. I don't want you to feel trapped. It's just all moving so fast."

He moved closer to her, their bodies almost touching, and he ran his hand through her hair "Yeah Olivia it is a lot more than I bargained for, but Eli was a lot more than I bargained for and I love him so much and I couldn't imagine my life without him." He took a breath, and ran his thumb over her knuckles "If you had asked me a week ago if I thought I'd be signing up to raise a baby at 47 I would have said no," Olivia started to pull away from him, the devastation written on her face, but he pulled her back "Wait, Liv! I'm not done." She stopped struggling in his grasp and he continued "If you would have told me I would be with the love of my life and her son, in her apartment, I would have said you were delusional, but here I am, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I meant what I said about me not leaving, no matter what. Maybe we are moving a little fast but I think the last decade we wasted was enough."

She wiped at the tears that had started falling somewhere in the middle of his speech and cleared her throat, hoping the answer she was about to get was the one she longed to hear, "So what are you saying, Elliot?"

"What I'm saying, is," he said stepping into her, pulling her flush against him and tilting her face up towards his, "I want you Liv... _and_ Noah. I _want_ to help you raise him. I _want_ to sign up for bottles and diaper duty and spit up and everything in between. I _want_ us to be a family. I've only been around him for a couple of hours and he already has my heart... just like his mother." He bent his head down and gave her a gentle kiss. "So Liv, I want in, if you'll let me?"

Those were fighting words. Elliot had brought out the big guns. She thought about all he had said, _really_ thought about it, and weighed all the pros and cons. She looked back up at him and knew he was being completely serious and genuine. "Elliot, I believe that you want it all, not just to have me but because you truly do care about Noah, and I love you for that," she told him as she reached up and kissed him. "But, if you walk out on that sweet little boy sleeping in the next room, I swear on everything that I am I will kill you myself."

He tried to contain his chuckle, but received a glare from Olivia. He kissed her softly on the lips "I know you will because you're an amazing mother, just like I thought you would be, but that won't be necessary. Nothing in this world will ever take me away from either of you. This is where I want to be," he kissed her again, more passionately this time. When he pulled back, her eyes were still closed and she was enjoying the moment. Once they opened again he spoke "I love you Liv, more than words could ever explain, and I will never leave you, or him, ever ... my heart wouldn't be able to handle it."

She wiped away the few tears that betrayed her and replied "Mine either," and kissed him passionately. Trying to coax his mouth open, she was granted entrance and immediately deepened the kiss. She ran her hands up along his naked chest, up over his shoulders, and stopped at the back of his head, pulling him closer to her.

Elliot moved his hands down her back, stopping at her bottom he pulled her closer to him. He moaned as she moved her body across his groin. He started kissing down her neck, exploring more of her body with his hands "I need you _now_, Liv," he growled into her ear.

Olivia pulled back, with a mischievous look on her face. "Okay," she said seductively as she pulled his face back to hers, kissing up his jaw line and down his neck. She stopped at his collarbone and pulled back quickly "But first, I need breakfast," she said, smirking at him as she started to walk out of the room.

He watched her slightly stunned as she started walking away "You're just gonna leave me here like this," he whined motioning to his obvious arousal.

"Awe poor baby," she teased him as she made it to the door "You're a big boy, so you can either take care of that now, by yourself ... or, you can wait until later and I can give you some help with that," she replied sensually as she ran her eyes up and down his gorgeous body.

He considered his options for all of two seconds before he responded "Yeah, I'm going to wait till later."

"That's what I thought," she replied as she made her way into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

"Do you want me to make something or do you just want to order in?" he asked as he moved in behind her, lacing his arms around her waist.

Olivia looked at him over her shoulder "All I have is baby food. It's been a long few days," she chuckled at the enormous understatement. She turned around in his arms, hugging him closer to her "How about we order in so I can enjoy you for a little bit longer. Noah should be getting up soon."

"Okay. You order, I'm going to grab a shirt," he told her as he kissed her and made his way back to the bedroom.

Elliot came back out from the bedroom and saw Olivia sitting on the counter with her legs crossed as she sipped on her coffee. "I've never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life," he told her as he walked up to her and ran his hands up her thighs, pulling them apart so he could move in between them "And you need to wear my clothes more often," he kissed her on the lips, sucking on her bottom lip ", so sexy."

She took his face in her hands "You just want to get lucky," she said as she playfully slapped his cheek.

"Yeah maybe, but it doesn't make it any less true," he replied as he ran his hands over her lace panties and up her back, and began sucking on her neck.

They were in a heated moment of foreplay when they were startled by a knock on the door. Elliot pulled back from her, panting, his face red from their recent activities "That was fast. I'll get it."

Olivia jumped down from the counter top and attempted to fix her hair and cover herself back up as she went to grab money.

Elliot grabbed the door handle, swinging it wide open after the second round of knocking "Sorry man I was..." he trailed off upon seeing who was behind the door.

"Elliot?"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: As always keep the feedback coming. I love reading what you all think and how you feel about certain things. Enjoy!

"Captain..." Elliot breathed out as he turned around to find Olivia, giving her a panicked expression.

Olivia moved towards the door to take it in for herself, she rested a hand on Elliot's back, trying her best to calm down his breathing, "Don..."

Former Captain Donald Cragen moved his eyes between her and Elliot, feeling slightly confused and flustered, "Hello, Liv. I ... uh ... wanted to come and see you. I stopped by the precinct and Fin told me you were on leave, so ... uh... here I am," he looked down at his feet, shifting awkwardly. "It's been a while, and ... um, oh!" he said as he pulled a stuffed teddy bear out from behind his back, "Good news travels fast," he held out the bear to her, the corners of his mouth lifting up into a smile.

Olivia was overcome with emotion as she reached out to take the teddy bear from him, moving her hand to play with the ear. She looked back up at the man who had become her father figure and went to him, hugging him tight, grateful when the hug was returned, "I've missed you, Don."

He rubbed her back, and kissed the top of her head, "I've missed you too, Liv."

Elliot just stood there, taking in the sight of the pair. He was happy that at least when he left, it seemed as though their captain had really taken over for him, and taken care of her.

Once they separated Olivia wiped away a bit of moisture that had formed in her eyes, "So we ordered breakfast and it should be here shortly and Noah should be waking up any minute. If you have time I'd love for you to stay a while."

Cragen smiled from ear to ear, "There's no place I'd rather be," he replied taking off his jacket.

"Great, would you like some coffee? We just made a pot," she told him as she made her way towards the kitchen, getting worried when Elliot wasn't in there.

"Thanks, that would be great," he replied as he took a seat on the couch.

She took him his cup and looked around, still unable find Elliot, "Would you excuse me for a second? I'll be right back."

Cragen nodded and watched her as she walked down the hallway. He had so many questions and concerns regarding Elliot. The last time he saw him was the night of the shooting and the last time he heard from him was when he called to tell him he was turning in his badge. That was one of the hardest days for him. Not only losing a great detective and someone he considered family, but also having to break the news to Olivia that he wasn't coming back was heartbreaking. He knew how much it affected her, even though she tried to hide it. Elliot was like a son to him and he missed him as well, but it couldn't even come close to what Olivia had went through. He was happy to see Elliot again, even under the circumstances, but he wasn't going to just let him off the hook that easily, he had a lot of explaining to do.

Olivia walked into her bedroom and saw Elliot sitting on the bed with his head between his legs taking deep shallow breaths. She moved to him and sat down next to him on the bed, rubbing his backs, "It's okay. I know this has to be a lot for you," she whispered into his ear.

He was still breathing heavily, "Just ... give me a minute," he managed to get out in between breaths.

"Okay," she said as she stopped her movements, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

His head shot up as he grabbed back her hand, "No," he said almost franticly, "Just sit with me...please?"

She moved her hands to his face, running her hand through his hair. She kissed him softly and then rested her forehead against his, "Okay, I'm not going anywhere."

Elliot kissed her again, forever grateful he had her, "Thank you."

Olivia just held his hand as they sat there for a moment in a comfortable silence. She squeezed his hand, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head and looked away from her, "I haven't seen or talked to him for so long. The last time I saw him was _that_ night ... and seeing him again just brings back all of those memories and emotions."

Olivia felt for him, he just came back into her life and now he was having to confront the past all over again not even one day later. She took his chin in her hand and moved his face so he was looking at her, "I know how hard this must be for you, so if you want to leave and do this another day ... I understand."

Elliot just looked at her, his eyes pooling with love. He brought his hand up to caress her cheek, "I love you for that, but I think it's about time I stop running."

She kissed him on the cheek and took his hand in hers, "I'll be here with you, the whole time."

He stood up and pulled her up from the bed, bringing her to him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. He kissed just behind her ear and whispered, "I love you."

Olivia held him tight, wanting to make him feel safe and kissed his jaw, "I love you too." She pulled away and took his hand in hers, "Let's do this."

They walked back out to the living room, hand in hand, to see Cragen , eyebrows raised giving them a questioning look.

They looked at each other before Elliot spoke up, "I think I owe you some explanations."

Cragen nodded, "Yeah, I'd say so."

Elliot let out a deep breath as he and Olivia took a seat on the couch opposite him. Olivia squeezed his hand, doing her best to give him support. He knew that getting Olivia back would eventually entail confronting the people from his former unit but he never expected it to be this soon, but having

Olivia to lean on made a world of difference.

Elliot scrubbed a hand down his face and then looked at Cragen, making eye contact for the first time in years, "Well first of all, I am so very sorry for..."

He was cut off as Cragen waved his hand, stopping him, "Before we get started on the heavy stuff can I just ask you two something?" They looked at each other and nodded back at him, "When did this happen?" He questioned starring at their linked hands resting on Elliot's lap.

They both looked down at their joined hands and then looked at each other. Olivia nodded at Elliot giving him the go ahead, "I ran into Olivia a few days ago and couldn't stay away any longer. I came over last night and we talked."

Cragen chuckled looking at Olivia still wearing Elliot's dress shirt, "Really? That's all you did?"

Olivia blushed slightly embarrassed and uncomfortable with where this was headed, "Uh ... Well..."

Elliot squeezed her hand and then turned to address Cragen, "We're adults, and we don't have to explain anything to you," he said quite harshly, his voice tinged with anger, "but it's not what you think. This isn't just some flash in the pan ... it's so much deeper and so much different than anything I've ever

experienced in my life," he finished, his voice softer as he stared into Olivia's deep brown eyes.

Cragen just sat there, staring at them as they got lost in each other. He brought them back to the present when he started talking, "I didn't mean any disrespect by it. I watched this happen for 12 years, I know what it is, and I don't discredit it for a second." He gave them a slight smile as they stared at him with matching confused looks. "I might be old, but I'm not blind and I know what love looks like. I watched you guys get closer and closer and it was only going to end one way. Or so I thought until you left," he said looking pointedly at Elliot, "but either way, I knew ... or at least I hoped, you two would eventually get it together."

They all sat there as the silence enveloped them before Olivia broke through, "When did you know that..." She was cut off as Noah's whimpers came through the monitor and there was a knock on the door. She have Elliot's hand a squeeze, "I'll get Noah, you get the door." She looked from Cragen back to Elliot, "I think you two have some things to discuss."

She disappeared down the hall as Elliot paid for the food and took it into the kitchen. "We got a lot of food, so if you're hungry, Cap, please help yourself," Elliot yelled back at him over his shoulder.

Cragen made his way into the kitchen and sat on one of the bar stools, "Please Elliot, call me Don. I'm no longer a Captain and you no longer work for me."

Elliot shrugged as he unpacked the food, "I guess old habits die hard."

Cragen took a deep breath trying to figure out the best way to address the elephant in the room, "Okay, I'm just going to get straight to the point. Do you know how devastated she was when you left?" Elliot just stared at him, his face blank. "I had to tell her that her best friend and partner, even though we both

know it was much more than just the job, was never coming back. I watched her walk out of my office, and I followed her to an interrogation room. She didn't know I was there, and still doesn't, but I saw it all. She locked herself in there and sunk down to the ground and just cried." He told Elliot, getting slightly choked up at the memory of watching the woman he considered to be a daughter to him, lose herself.

Elliot couldn't look at him. Although he had already talked all of this out with Olivia, and he knew how she felt, it was just as bad hearing it from someone else. Especially from someone both he and Olivia respected and cared a great deal about. "Olivia and I talked about it all last night and she knows why I did everything the way I did, but it doesn't make it right. I'm sorry that I left it for you to tell her, it wasn't your responsibility, but I appreciate you picking up my slack." He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to release some of the tension, before looking up at Cargen, "I'm sorry I left the way I did, I just couldn't do it anymore, but I'm more sorry for the way I left Olivia. I will regret that till the day that I die and I am so thankful that she has forgiven me for it ... I hope with time you'll be able to do the same?" he questioned, trying to hold back the tears that pooled in his eyes. The last several days have been some of the most emotional ones he's ever had, and he didn't really want to start down that path again.

Cragen looked at Elliot and saw the emotion in his eyes but he wasn't finished yet. He gave him a hardened look, "Do you plan on staying ... permanently?" Elliot nodded his head, "Did you learn your lesson?" He nodded once again, "If you ever walk away from her, _or_ that little boy, you'll have to deal with me."

Elliot gave him another nod, "Don't worry, Don. I wouldn't be able to walk away from her, it was unbearable without her and I already care about Noah very much."

"Then come here, son" Cragen said as he walked around the counter and pulled Elliot into a hug, "It's really good to see you."

Olivia walked back into the kitchen with Noah on her hip "Everything okay in here?"

The two men pulled apart, both taking a moment to get it together before Elliot replied, "Yeah, Liv. We're good, just catching up."

Olivia looked between them, slightly relieved that the tension in the room was gone, "Good. Now how about you guys grab some breakfast, and I'll get Noah fed so he'll be in a good mood for you Don," she chuckled, "You do not want a grumpy baby on your hands."

Cragen chuckled, "Good plan," he smiled as he took in the sight of mother and child, "He is just adorable Liv, I'm so happy for you."

She looked down at Noah, who was just looking around the room, taking it all in, "Thanks Don, I got really lucky with him."

Olivia fed Noah while Elliot and Cragen ate breakfast and continued to catch up. Olivia watched them every now and again and it felt like old times. It was the first time since seeing Elliot again that she saw the _old him_. The side she only saw while they were at work or around the squad, while the Elliot she's been around for the last day or so, was the side she rarely ever got to see. Granted, for the most part, he was still the same person but after getting only the caring and loving side she felt a deeper connection with him. The man, that to the world would come off as a stubborn bastard, was also the most passionate, and attentive lover she'd ever been with.

She wiped off Noah's face and got him out of his highchair, "C'mon little man, I've got someone very special I'd like for you to meet," she told him as she kissed his cheek. She walked into the living room to make introductions.

Don stood up and took Noah from his mother, "Hello big guy! How are you doing today?" he kissed his head and bounced around the room with him. He tickled his belly and blew raspberries on his cheeks as he went on talking to him, "You know, I never thought I'd see this day. I waited a long time to see your mommy become a mommy and I'm so glad I got to be here for it."


	13. Chapter 13

Ch.13

After Cragen left later that afternoon Elliot and Olivia were on the floor surrounded by toys playing with Noah.

Elliot watched Olivia and Noah interact and it was truly the most heartwarming thing he had ever seen. The way her face lit up every time he called her _mama_ or the way she is so taken by him that every little thing he does is the greatest thing in this world.

They both watched as Noah tried to crawl to Olivia, giving up after a few moments of trying. Olivia reached out and picked him up, holding his hands and standing him on her lap, "Mama," he squealed as he planted a slobbery kiss on her cheek.

Elliot watched as her eyes teared up and she kissed Noah on the head.

"You are growing up way too fast baby boy," her smile bittersweet. She stroked the side of his face and into his hair, getting lost in her son.

She was brought back to the present when she heard Elliot's voice, "You sound like every parent out there, Liv. Trust me, they do grow up way to fast, so enjoy it."

Olivia kissed Noah again and then put him back down and watched him as he started playing, "I just feel like I've already missed so much." She looked across at Elliot, it was still so surreal for him to be sitting here, in her living room, with her and her son, "The things I would have given up to have been his mother for the first 7 months of his life ..." she shook her head, willing away the tears, "... it's just not fair."

Elliot moved over to sit next to her, he pulled her into his side and kissed her head, "You're right, Liv, it's not fair. You're the mother he deserved to have from the beginning," he tilted her head back as he ran his hand through her hair, "You deserved to be a mother a long time ago, Liv," he said giving her a gentle kiss, "I knew you'd be an amazing mom."

She kissed him again and then let out a sigh, "Thanks for saying that. I love him so much I just want to be the best mom I can be for him, I don't want to lose him."

"Why would you lose him?" he turned to look at her.

"I forgot that you don't know all of the details. I have temporary custody of Noah to be his foster mother for one year. At the end of said year I will be given the option to adopt him, permanently." She told him all in one breath, as if she memorized it, which in her case, she had. It was the constant reminder that this could all be taken away from her in an instant.

As if he read her mind, Elliot reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly, "He's your son, and anyone with eyes can tell how much you love him and how much he loves you. Don't worry about that so much, it will stop you from enjoying the moment if you're always worried about what if's. That's something you taught me."

Olivia brought his hand to her lips and gave it a gentle kiss, "Thank you, I'm glad you're here."

He bent down and kissed the top of her head, "Me too." He watched as Noah played with his bus. Elliot moved over in front of Noah and pulled away his bus. Noah started to whimper and Elliot kissed his head, "Come here big boy, if you want your bus you're gonna have to crawl over here and get it. You can do it, Noah," Elliot cooed as he put his arms out, encouraging Noah to come to him.

Olivia watched in awe as Elliot made faces and wiggled his fingers trying to get Noah to crawl to him. After a few moments Noah was giggling and staring at Elliot like he held the world. Noah slowly leaned forward and got an all fours as he tried to make his way towards Elliot. She held her breath as he slowly crawled towards Elliot, stumbling a little bit over his toys but he kept on moving.

Once he reached him, Elliot scooped him up in his arms and kissed him on his cheeks, "You are such a big boy! I knew you could do it, Daddy is so proud of you, Noah." As soon as the words came out of his mouth he looked at Olivia, with a deer in the head lights look, trying to figure where to go now.

She just stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. She looked at how happy Noah was in Elliot's arms, completely taken by him. This was how it should be. Noah deserved a father who cared about him as much as Elliot would, and does, only after hours of being with him. She saw the worry in Elliot's eyes and went to him. She gave him a kiss and rested her hand on his cheek, "Is that what you want ... to be his Daddy? Once we go down this road, we can't go back."

Elliot looked at Noah who was still giggling and clapping his hands, his heart swelled with love and pride for the little boy who was slowly taking his heart and kissed his cheek. He turned back to Olivia, "Yeah, Liv, I do. If that's okay with you?"

"Are you sure this isn't happening too fast?" Olivia questioned him, because for her it was ... but it also felt right.

He put Noah down and gave him his new bear to play with, "Here you go buddy." He moved back to Olivia. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down on the couch with him, "Maybe, but I couldn't imagine it going any other way. I feel like this is the way it's _supposed_ to be," he let out a sigh, "Does that make sense?"

She leaned over and gave him a kiss, "I know exactly what you mean. I keep wondering how we got here so quickly, but I wouldn't want it any other way. It's been less than 24 hours and I couldn't imagine my life any differently." Olivia took his hand and intertwined her fingers with his, "Let's just take it day by day. I still want to work on us, okay?" The anxiety and nerves were already kicking in and there was a split second where she thought what she was agreeing to would blow up in her face, but that all went away in a flash. She watched as Elliot watched Noah play with his bear, tugging on the ear, turning it into a slobbery mess. While the circumstances were completely different in that moment she saw the same look she saw on his face the first time he held Eli. It was a look that held all of the pride and love of a parent watching their child.

"I'd like that," he leaned over and kissed her. He pulled her towards him and they watched Noah play, "You know, I always thought this was how it should have been," he kissed her head, "I wish I had met you sooner."

"Why?" she turned her head up to look at him.

Elliot bent his head down to kiss her. He pulled back to look into her eyes, "Because ... this could have been _our_ life ... _years_ ago. The marriage, a houseful of kids ... we could have had it all a long time ago."

"We're not dead," she chuckled, but bit it back once she saw the sadness in his eyes. "Hey..." she lifted his chin so he would look at her, "... what's wrong?"

He shook his head, "Sometimes I just feel ..." he took a deep breath and looked back up at her. "Sometimes I just feel like I let you down ... in a lot of ways."

Olivia turned so she was facing him and took his face in her hands, "You didn't let me down." He cast his downward so she ducked down trying to get his eyes back, "I dreamt about all of those things too, every time you and Kathy separated." _That got his attention, "_Yes, Elliot. Every time you and her separated I allowed myself to have a tiny shred of hope that maybe it would happen for us ... that maybe... just maybe, you felt the way I felt. And then you left..."

Elliot interrupted her, "I know, Liv and I'm sorry for..."

Olivia put her hand over his mouth, "Would you let me finish?" he nodded his head and she moved her hand away, "I guess some things never change. You never were a good listener..." she gave him a slight smile, "... but anyhow, I have had all of the same thoughts that you did at one point or another, but then everything changed and you were gone. I'm not bringing it up to hurt you or anything like that, I understand why you dealt with it the way you did, it's just that on that day, it ended all of the hopes and dreams I had for us." She moved in and gave him kiss, hoping to portray all of the love she felt for him. "But none of that matters now because you're here, with _us_. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it and move on with our lives ... _together_."

"I know, and I am so grateful to you for letting me back into your life," he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her with everything he had, "I love you."

She opened her eyes and gave him a smile, "I love you too, and who knows what the future holds? If it's meant to be it will be. I just want to enjoy my life right now. Having you back and having Noah are two things I never thought I'd have, and I don't want to miss a second of it."

"I'm right there with you," he kissed her again, "So how about we have some fun with this little guy until bed time and then I'll cook us a late dinner and we can talk about us. How does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect," she kissed him again and then moved down on the floor, "So little man, what do you want to do today?"

The three of them had a great day together playing and laughing together for hours. Elliot was cooking pasta and Olivia was rocking Noah to sleep as he stared up at her with heavy eyelids., "I hope you had a good day with us. You know mama loves you very much and all I want is what's best for you. Elliot's a really good man, and a _great_ father." She ran her finger down his leg " You know, I could do this alone and be a single mother ... I could be enough for you, but you _deserve_ more." She kissed him on the head as his eyelids fluttered closed, "So, here's the plan Noah. Elliot wants in, we're gonna let him in. I truly believe he is going to be the best father and man for you, but if anything happens we're out. No matter how much I love that man, or how much I care for him, you will _always_ mean so much more, and you will _always_ come first." She rocked him for a moment longer and then gently moved him over to the crib, covering his legs with his blanket, "I love you Noah, sleep tight."

She closed the door behind her and walked out into the kitchen. Elliot was shirtless by the stove stirring a couple of the pots. The table was already set and wine was poured. She took a sip from her glass and then went up to Elliot. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and left a kiss on his neck. She rested her chin on his shoulder to watch the show, "How's it coming in here?"

Elliot peered over at her out of the corner of his eye, "Good, just a few more minutes and we'll be ready to eat." Being with her and not having to hide his feelings, it was still so new to him and it felt ... good. He thought back to a time when he could only dream about this, back to the days where he longed to be able to kiss her, to hold her, and tell her he loved her whenever he wanted. He turned around in her arms and leaned his forehead against hers, nuzzling his nose against hers. He captured her lips with his own, allowing them to linger there. He ran his tongue across her lower lip savoring the moment, the way she tasted, the way her lips melded into his. Pulling away he cupped the back of her neck pulling her closer into him burying his head in her hair, "I love you, Liv ... and you better not get tired of hearing that any time soon because I am never going to get tired of saying it," he chuckled but sobered quickly, "I've got a lot of times to catch up on."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you all once again for the reviews, follows, and favorites. I love hearing what you all have to say! Enjoy!

Entering into 48 hours of being reunited, Sunday was a good day for the three of them. Elliot had made Olivia and Noah breakfast in bed and then they had a relaxing day lounging around the apartment. After another night filled with passion and love, Olivia and Elliot settled back into bed together.

Elliot draped his arm over her and pulled her into him, nuzzling into her neck, "I love this time with you ... when you're lying in my arms after making love. You're skin is flushed and dewy. The way your hair flows around your pillow. How your lips are swollen and red ... this is when you're the most beautiful." He kissed her neck, sucking gently at her warm skin."This is when I get to _really_ see you ... _all_ of you. This is the you that only _I_ get to see. When you're here with me, like_ this_ ... you don't have any walls up and there's no mask on, this is when I get all of you."

Olivia sniffled and turned around in his embrace to face him.

He was worried when he saw the tears rolling down over her cheeks. He wiped them away and rubbed his thumb along her cheek, "Baby, why the tears?"

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile, "You just said the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to me and I'm allowed to cry," she chuckled as she gave him a soft kiss, "You never cease to amaze me with how sweet and romantic you can be. You're going to have to give me some time to get used to it."

He wiped away her remaining tears and pulled her flush against him, snuggling in deeper next to him, "I meant every word that I said. I wish you could be like this all of the time, you seem ... lighter when we're like this ... more carefree."

Olivia wrapped her arms around him and held on tight, "It's because I feel safe in your arms ... like nothing can happen. This is the first time, in a _long_ time, that I truly do feel safe." She picked her head up and left a kiss along his jaw line, "And it's all because of you."

"I'm never going to let anything happen to you or Noah," he told her rubbing small circles on the small of her back and running the other hand through her hair, "I will always be here to protect you guys, I promise. I hope that with time I will be able to earn back all of the trust I lost when I left."

She looked up at him and ran her hand through his cropped hair, "I know you will protect us. You had my back for 12 years on _and_ off the job, and there is no one else I could ever trust the way I trust you. Now granted, we still have some work to do, but I do trust you with not only _my_ life, but also with my _son's_ life. You have always been a protector," she ran her hand up his arm and up to his neck, cupping the back of his head, she pulled him down into a kiss.

Elliot pulled back and brushed the hair away from her face, "Thank you for letting me back into your life, and for allowing me to be a part of Noah's life as well."

"There was really no other way for me to handle it, Elliot. I waited far too long to be able to have you like this, and I wasn't going to let this to slip away from me." She gave him a passionate kiss, deepening it as soon as he allowed.

Every time she kissed him, it was like nothing she had ever felt before. The love she had for him, and the connection they shared only got deeper with every intimate moment they shared. The way he kissed her showed how much he loved her. It was like he put every emotion he felt for her into every single kiss and it stole her breath away.

"So," Elliot started as he settled back down into his pillow, pulling her down with him, "how long are you off for?"

She rested her head on his chest "I'm probably going to be taking off 6 weeks. They don't really want me being gone for so long since I'm CO, but I have the time and I've dedicated my life to the NYPD up until this point." She turned over to look at him and rested her chin on his chest, "I'm not going to sacrifice these moments with my son for the job ... I don't _live_ for the job anymore."

"Good," he nodded his head. "The one thing I regret the most with my kids is not being around as much as I wanted to be. I thought I was doing the best thing by working and providing for them, but that's only part of being a parent. I missed a lot of things, but with my job now I'm around a lot more for Eli."

"You did the best you could at that time. I know your kids love you very much and I'm sure they understand that you were doing what was best for them," she rubbed his arms, trying to soothe him. "I remember the times when you missed important moments for them and how upset you would get. That right there proves that you _are_ a good father."

The way she was always knew what he needed from her and the way she could always make him feel better made him appreciate her that much more. " If I haven't already said it, you're a _fantastic_ mother, Olivia," he said as he kissed her forehead. "I always knew you would be, but seeing you with him, it's incredible. You are just besotted with him. I can feel the love radiating off of you. The way you are so in tune to his every sound and cry, and the way you are up in a heartbeat to go to him, it's just _amazing_."

Olivia reached up and caressed his cheek "I never knew you could be like this. You are so sweet, and caring, and attentive, and more passionate than I could have ever imagined."

"Well, those are just some of the things you deserve from a man. Especially from one who wants to be the only man in your life."He tilted his head down and captured her lips with his. Once they broke apart her rested his hands on her bare back, enjoying the way their bodies fit perfectly against one another's. "You could walk out on the street and get any man you wanted just because of who you are, Olivia. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. The man who truly deserves your love, and deserves to be in your life, is the man that gives you all of the things you are worthy of. After everything you have been through in your life, all of the good and the bad, you deserve the _world_, Liv." He stroked her face, running his thumb across her lips "It is my top priority and my mission, to do everything possible to be truly deserving of your love." He took her chin in his hand and brought her up to meet his lips. He moved his lips over hers, deepening the kiss as soon as she opened to him, and ran his hands all over her naked body, allowing them to tangle in her dark brown hair.

She pulled back once air was desperately needed and she tasted the salty liquid on her lips. She had to be the luckiest woman on the planet. Out of all the men she had dated in her life, before, during, and after Elliot, no one had ever made her feel as cherished and loved as he had over the last two days. He was a true gentleman and he made her feel like a woman every second of the day. "There is no doubt in my mind that you are, and will be, deserving of my whole heart," she choked out in between sobs. "You must like seeing me cry," she attempted to chuckle but hiccupped instead, trying to rein in her emotions.

Elliot gave a small smile as he left feather light kisses all over her face, kissing away all of the tears that were staining her cheeks, the last one landing on her lips. "Of course I don't like to see you cry, but I'm assuming these aren't bad tears," she shook her head no. "Good, because I never want to be the cause of your pain. Ever. Again." He took her hand in his, intertwining his fingers with hers. "I'm okay with being emotional now, saying how I feel and showing it. I've played it close to the vest for most of my life and I paid a steep price for it. I'm done living my life like that and I'm done guarding my heart." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, "I want you to see all of me ... and all of my heart. I'm not holding back anymore, and that's something that I'm going to keep working on, because I never want you to question how I feel about you ... not for one second of one day."

All Olivia could do was nod her head as the tears came full force, flooding her eyes and falling down her cheeks. She sat up and crawled on top of him, resting her face in the crook of his neck and her hand over his heart. She left tiny kisses all over his neck and jaw, while murmuring _I love you_. She wasn't sure how she got so lucky to have him in her life again, but she was incredibly thankful. The feeling of his heart beating under her hand slowly helped to soothe her tears.

Elliot rubbed from her back to her neck and kissed her head. The closeness he felt to her in that moment was unreal. It's the kind of closeness you feel towards someone _only_ when you completely bare your soul to them, and when you allow for all of the walls and barriers to crumble away and you let them see into your heart. He felt more vulnerable and exposed than he ever had before, but if that meant she would always know what he held for her in his heart, he would be more open and willing to allow himself to show this vulnerability more often.

Once he no longer felt tears dropping onto his chest he brushed her hair back from her eyes and kissed her forehead "I love you," he whispered into her hair.

She tilted her head back so she could look at him "I love you, too." She rubbed her hand over his chest and kissed where his heart lied just below the skin, "I owe you so much more than those little words, but I think everything will pale in comparison to what you've said tonight," she gave him a small smile. "But I do want you to know that you mean so much to me. There's no other person that I would rather be with, and there's no one else who makes me feel the way you do." She kissed his chest again, and felt his heart thundering underneath her lips "The way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you kiss me, and everything in between is like something I've never experienced before. When you're here with me, it's like I can be myself, like I don't have to hide. I have been crying like an idiot all night long and when I look into your eyes I still only see love," she let out a light giggle. "The more you let me see you, the more I fall in love with you," she leaned up and kissed him gently on the lips.

"You did a pretty good job," he sniffled as he nuzzled his face into her neck "I love you, Liv."

"I love you too, El," she whispered into his ear as she moved down next to him, after wiping away some moisture from under his eyes. She scooted in closer to him, needing as much skin on skin contact, and he wrapped his arms around her. She let out a yawn "Good night, El."

He kissed her head and pulled the covers up over them "Good night, baby. I'll try to be quiet in the morning."

"It's okay, I want to say good bye before you leave for work," she murmured as sleep claimed her.

Elliot laid there and watched her sleep, content to know that she was in his arms and that if he had anything to say about it, he was always going to be there to protect her. He looked over at the baby monitor and watched Noah as he slept, the steady and even rise and fall of his chest. He picked up the monitor bringing it towards him. He left a kiss on the image right where Noah was laying "I love you, Noah."

A/N: I didn't want to take away from the chapter but I just wanted to say something real quick. All of you have been so lovely and it means the world to me. I think I can speak for any author on here when I say that it really means a lot when readers enjoy what you're writing. Personally, I haven't had to deal with any hateful reviews or messages, and I am thankful for that, but I do see that happening to a lot of others. Whether it's good or bad feedback it does effect the writer, so please just keep that in mind when you review or PM someone. It's upsetting to me when I see someone being attacked on here. This site should be something we all enjoy and take pleasure in, not where we destroy others. Thank you for taking a moment to read this.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Thank you all again for the support! Enjoy!

The first day he left them for work he had missed them terribly. It was crazy to him how hard and fast he had fallen in love ... with everything. The woman he had loved for as long as he could remember, a new baby that had changed his life, for the better, basically, he was falling in love with his new world. He had placed a special call as soon as he reached his car.

Olivia had spent the day having some one on one time with Noah, loving every second of it. She had to admit though that she did miss Elliot being there, his absence being felt, even though she knew he would be returning in a few hours. Her and Noah were playing on the floor laughing and giggling when there was a knock on the door. She got up and made her way to the door, looking through the peep hole, she saw a young kid holding a bouquet of white roses with a blue balloon attached. Opening the door the boy smiled.

"Olivia Benson?" he questioned her and she nodded. "These are for you, ma'am," he said handing her the vase and walking away before she could question him.

She closed her door and walked back into her apartment sitting the bouquet on the table, she picked out the card and read it.

"To my new world, I love and miss you both. I'll be home before you know it. Have a good day and give him a kiss for me. -E"

Olivia smiled from ear to ear. She did as he asked and picked up Noah and gave him a kiss. She stood up with Noah on her hip and allowed him to see the balloon, "Look what dada sent you." It was still so foreign to her to call Elliot his father, but every time she did, it gave her a new sense of comfort and stability. At first Noah wasn't too fond of the balloon, hiding his face in Olivia's chest and letting out little whimpers. She sat down on the couch and put him in her lap and brought the balloon down in front of him.

She ran her hand though his hair "It's okay Noah, look ... it's fun." She bumped the balloon with her hand, bouncing it off her leg and letting it float back up. After a few moments of encouragement Noah turned his head to take a peek at what she was doing. Olivia kept bouncing the balloon until Noah turned around and was sticking his hands out trying to touch it. She held it down by the string and he hit it with his hands and giggled as it bounced around. He grabbed the balloon with both hands and pulled it towards him, hugging it to his chest. Before Olivia could prevent it there was a loud popping noise as the balloon burst. Noah jumped and turned his head to look at Olivia, his lip quivering and tears coming to his eyes as he let out a loud wail.

Olivia stood up, holding Noah securely to her chest, as she let the pieces of the balloon fall to the ground. She bounced him around the room, kissing his head and quietly shushing him. He quieted down and drifted off to sleep as they waited for the new member of their lives to return home.

Over the next week Elliot and Olivia, along with Noah, had started settling into the new life style. Elliot had picked up some things from his apartment earlier in the week and had been staying at Olivia's place with her and Noah. Their new routine had started to form: On the days Elliot taught, he went to work leaving both mother and child with a kiss goodbye and an I love you, he would call during his lunch to check in, and be back around 5. If he didn't have class they'd spend lazy days in the apartment getting used to the new family they were quickly becoming.

While to the average person, Elliot and Olivia were moving at the speed of light, they didn't care. No one knew what they had been through to get to this point, or just how many years it took them. While both of them would probably agree that they were moving quickly, this was their relationship and they were going to do what they felt was right.

After seeing and talking with Cragen, Olivia and Elliot had decided that they would prefer to keep their new relationship under wraps for the time being. Everything was still so new for them and letting out news of their relationship would also open up the flood gates for questions and explanations, which neither really wanted to do just yet. Elliot hadn't really asked about Fin, or anyone else for that matter, and Olivia wasn't going to push it: They would confront the past when _they_ were ready. Tonight though, Elliot wasn't going to be back at 5. While they were keeping the relationship between them for now, there was one person he _did_ need to tell, his ex-wife.

After his work day had finished, Elliot was going to make the drive out to Queens to see his son and talk with Kathy. When they divorced they had decided to always be open and honest with each other, especially when it concerned the children, or more so now, Eli. They both wanted to be comfortable with who their child would be around when in the other parents custody, so open communication was the key to their separation. Kathy had started seeing someone about 5 months ago, a fellow doctor she had met at a seminar who worked at a neighboring hospital. Kathy had told Elliot about him before she brought him round Eli, and had even allowed the pair to meet in person. Elliot couldn't deny that it had been hard to see her with someone new, but Jeff was making her happy, and even though he would never admit it, Jeff was a good guy.

Elliot pulled into the driveway of the home he had spent more than half of his life in building a family and life in. Just after the divorce being there had left him melancholy, but it was different now. He allowed all of his memories to wash over him now and he enjoyed them. He got out of his car and made his way up the stairs and was met by Eli running out of the door.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" he yelled as he jumped into his father's arms.

"Hey buddy! I've missed you!" he told him as he scooped him up "How are you doing?"

"Good! I have a game Sunday!" Eli informed him, referring to the youth soccer league he played in with some of his friends.

"I'll be there! Why don't you go practice? I have to talked to your mom for a sec," Elliot encouraged as Kathy was now making her way towards them from the kitchen.

"Okay dad," he said jumping down from his dad and running back past Kathy.

"Slow down honey, you're in the house," Kathy told him as she tousled his hair when he ran past her.

"Kay mom," he yelled as he grabbed his ball and went out to the back yard.

"Hey El, how are you doing?" she asked as she gave him a hug.

Elliot returned the hug "I'm doing good Kath. I actually have to talk to you about something. Do you have some free time?"

"Yeah," she said motioning for him to follow her into the kitchen "I'll make some coffee."

"Okay," he replied as he made his way into his old kitchen and sat down at the table.

She went about making them both a cup of coffee as Elliot just watched thinking about what the best way to approach this would. He didn't get to think for too long before Kathy was making her way back to the table with two cups of coffee. He took his from her giving her a nod and a small smile "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she smiled back and took a sip from her cup. "So what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

He cleared his throat and then clasped his hands together, resting them on the table "Well, uh ... I'm seeing someone," he blurted out instead of taking the slower delivery he had planned.

Kathy sat there for a moment with a slightly stunned expression on her face, but she quickly recovered "Oh, well good for you, El. Anyone I know?"

"Thanks Kathy," he smiled but this next part he was dreading. He looked down at his hands and he fiddled with his cup "Yeah, you know her."

She furrowed her brow confused as to why he was being so guarded "Well who is it?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his cup and then backed up at her "Olivia."

She gave him a small smile and chuckled at how nervous he was "That's great, El."

He shook his head and then looked into her eyes and knew that she was being genuine but he was still confused "Wait, you're okay with this?"

"Yes, I'm okay with it. I'm happy for you," she reached out and gave his hand a squeeze. "You finally got in contact with her, I'm proud of you."

He let go of her hand and wiped his sweaty palms down his pants "There's nothing to be proud of," he deflected looking away from her.

"What do you mean?" she questioned him.

He took a deep breath and let it out "I ran into her at the park on accident. She has a _son_. Can you believe it? " He took another sip from his cup "I doubt that if I wouldn't have ran into her that I would have made the move on my own."

"Wow, how old is he?"

"He's about 7 months," he told her a smile forming on his lips just at the thought.

"That's great. She was always great with our kids," her mood changed to a bitter sweet one. No matter how much she liked Olivia or how much she wanted Elliot to be happy, she had always been a touchy subject between them. "But, Elliot, don't beat yourself up about it, fate works in mysterious ways and I am one hundred percent positive that you would have eventually called her or went to see her."

Elliot knew that it was still probably difficult for her to talk about this but he appreciated that she was trying to comfort him "How can you know that?"

Kathy gave him a sad smile "Because, El. You _need_ her, you always have. She understands the parts of you that I never could." She gave a small chuckle "Over those years how many times do you think I begged you to call her, huh?"

"I guess you're right, but I don't want you to think that anything happened while we were together, I never would have done that to you. I loved you and a part of me always will. You gave me five beautiful children and we had some great years together," he told her, hoping to make sure she knew that he did care for her.

"I know nothing happened, I just tried to blame the problems in our relationship on something other than us. It was easier to deal with that way," she shrugged her shoulders, admitting that she wrongly placed blame on Olivia wasn't easy for her but she was a grown woman being honest was something she was capable of doing. "You will always have a place in my heart, Elliot, we made a lot of great memories and I won't ever forget them, but we both deserve to find that happiness we had in the beginning. I think we get along better than ever. I'm happy with Jeff and I just want the same for you, and I know Olivia will make you happy."

"Thanks Kath. I know that this probably wasn't an easy discussion, it wasn't for me when you told me about Jeff but I am really happy that you found him and he makes you happy," he gave her a genuine smile and made his way around the table to give her a hug.

She stood and returned his embrace "When are you planning on telling all of the kids?"

"We haven't really gotten that far and I'm sure Eli won't even remember her, and there's Noah to take into consider. I want to make sure she's comfortable before we tell them and introduce them to Noah," he told her as they walked out to watch Eli as he kicked around the soccer ball.

"Well it's your weekend with him, why don't you all just go out together and get ice cream or something laid back? I'm sure Liv would love to see him," she encouraged him, knowing that this was the eventual next step and that he loved his time with Eli.

"That's a good idea, let me give her a call before I get him all excited," he pulled out his phone and started to walk back into the house. He stopped before walking through the door "And Kathy?" she turned back to face him "Thanks."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Here's another one! Enjoy!

Olivia had just fed Noah and was cleaning him up when she got the call from Elliot asking her if she wanted to spend the day with him and Eli. She hadn't seen since he was around two and she had to admit that she did miss him. She had always felt a special connection to him having been there for his birth, but she would never have said anything like that back then.

She agreed to meet them at the ice cream shop a couple of blocks down from her apartment. She knew he was nervous, but Elliot hadn't said anything about how it went with Kathy but she hoped it went well, and given that he was bringing Eli to meet her she assumed that it had. Olivia packed his diaper back and grabbed his stroller from the closet.

"Alright little man," Olivia picked him out of his highchair and kissed his cheek, "Let's get you ready for your first ice cream trip." She gave him his pacifier and settled him into the stroller. She was anxious to meet them. Her hope was that Eli would be comfortable around her and Noah and to not see them as a threat. Over the years she saw cases where jealousy could play a rule in family dynamics and she didn't want that for anyone. She was going to do her best to make the presence of her and Noah a positive thing for Eli.

Elliot was driving through town while Eli sat in the back chatting away about everything under the sun. They talked about how school was going and how he loved soccer. Elliot looked in the rearview mirror and used the brief moment of silence as an opportunity to tell him about Olivia and Noah. "Hey, Eli. We're gonna meet my friend and her little boy at the ice cream shop. Her names Olivia and the baby's name is Noah."

Eli smiled and nodded his head "Mom told me before. She said she's really nice. Do you think she'll play with me?"

"Of course, I'm sure she'd love to play with you," he smiled back at him. Elliot hoped that there first outing together would be a success. "I bet Noah will like you, he's little but he's still fun."

"Okay daddy! I can't wait for ice cream," he giggled.

"We're almost there bud," Elliot chuckled at his sons excitement.

Olivia and Noah had just walked into the shop and were sitting at a table in the back when they arrived. Noah saw Elliot and instantly smiled and waved his arms at him "He's comin Noah," she giggled and rubbed his head.

Eli was standing behind his father's legs as Elliot reached Olivia giving her a hug and a peck on the cheek "How was your day?" he asked as he reached down and picked up Noah giving him a kiss on the head "I missed you guys."

"We were good. Just a quiet day at home," she replied and then looked down at Eli who was peeking around Elliot's legs.

"Well guys, I brought you a very special guest," he said looking down at Eli and ruffling his hair "Liv, I know you've met Eli before but Noah this is Eli," he introduced them and turned Noah down to look at Eli.

"Hi," Eli replied shyly.

She crouched down and smiled at him "Wow Eli, you got so big! You're gonna look just like your daddy one day!" Eli smiled at her, slowly warming up to her "So do you want to get some ice cream?"

He gave her a big grin, resembling the one his father gave her, and jumped up "Yes please!"

Elliot looked down at him "Okay do you mind going with Olivia?"

He shook his head and grabbed her hand "C'mon Livvie," he started dragging her in the direction of the counter.

"Nothing too big buddy! Liv, I'll give you some money hold on," he yelled to them as he reached into his pocket.

"No, El. I got it!" she replied as they got in line.

Elliot was happy that they seemed to be getting off on the right foot. He wasn't sure how Eli would react but he had been around kids before and had always gotten along well, so he had a good feeling about it. He wanted to tone down the relationship stuff in front of Eli because he didn't want to overwhelm him all at once, but he was so perceptive that he would probably figure it out on his own, but they would cross that bridge when they got to it. Eli had really liked Jeff and didn't mind him being around, but Elliot had to keep Noah in mind also. He wasn't just adding Olivia into Eli's life, he was also adding a new little boy and the last thing he wanted was for Eli to be jealous or to regress for more attention because that would just complicate things, but he had faith in his son. He was just going to make sure that Eli knew that he loved him just as much as he always had, and that Noah and Olivia didn't change that one bit. Telling the older kids would be easier, he hoped. They would remember Olivia and had probably knew at some point or another that there were feelings there, hopefully they would understand.

Seeing Olivia interact with his son was something else. She was always great with them but seeing her in this new light just made him love her even more. He knew she would do anything for him, and his kids for that matter, so seeing her smiling and talking with Eli warmed his heart. He sat down and faced Noah towards him "How are you doing little guy? I hope you like Eli, if all goes well he'll be your older brother. I have a lot of kids," he chuckled as Noah just smiled and watched him as he talked "I'm sure they'll all love to meet you soon. They're a lot older than you, but they'll love you just the same. They'll always be there for you and your mama," he kissed his cheek and looked over to watch Olivia and Eli.

"So," Olivia said as she looked down at Eli who was bouncing around excitedly, "What's your favorite ice cream?"

He gave her a toothy smile "Chocolate with sprinkles! It's _so_ good!"

She laughed at his exaggeration "Can I tell you a secret?" she whispered down at him. He nodded his head eagerly "Chocolate with sprinkles is my favorite too," she whispered into his ear. He moved back and gave her a wide eyed grin and motioned that he locked his lips and threw away the key. She gave him a big smile and was really glad they were getting to know each other a little better.

"So what kind do you think we should get for Noah? He's too little for sprinkles like us." She didn't really want Noah to eat sugary things and he was still too young for ice cream but one taste wouldn't hurt and she thought this would be a way to make Eli feel like he helped

He nodded his head and furrowed his brows, taking a moment to really consider all of his options. Olivia thought he looked just like Elliot whenever he was thinking about things "Um ... How about vanilla? It's good too."

"Sounds like a plan," she said as they got to the front of the line and ordered their ice cream.

Olivia gave Eli his chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, and watched him as he ran off back to their table. She got herself the same as Eli, Elliot a chocolate cone, and Noah a small kids bowl and made her way back to the table.

"Here you go, El," she said as she handed him his cone and showing Noah his bowl "I got you a little something too." Noah looked at the bowl and tried to reach out of Elliot's arms to grab it. She giggled at him "Okay little man just hold on, I'll give you some!"

Elliot watched as Eli went to town on his ice cream and Olivia scooped a tiny bit onto her spoon and brought it to Noah. He wrapped his arm around Noah's waist as he leaned out further to grab at the spoon. Noah got one hand on it and pulled toward him. His eyes went wide as the cold ice cream hit his mouth for the first time and he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth melting the ice cream and swallowing it. He smiled and clapped his hands, trying to reach for more of the sugary treat.

"Good pick Eli," she smiled "I think he likes it!"

He looked at Noah who was getting another taste and smiled "Thanks," he said between bites of his ice cream.

Elliot just smiled and watched as both Eli and Noah made messes out of themselves. Their faces both covered with ice cream by the time they were finished, "Eli, how about I take you to the bathroom to clean you up before we go?"

"Okay," Eli nodded as he jumped off his chair.

"Here, Liv," he handed Noah back to her "We'll just be a second," he gave her a quick peck while Eli was looking away.

"We'll be here," she smiled up at him as she grabbed the wipes and started to clean up Noah.

In the bathroom Elliot was lifting Eli up so he could reach the sink "Are you having fun, bud?"

Eli nodded and was all smiles "Yeah. Do we have to go home already?" he whined.

"No, I guess not. What do you want to do?" Elliot asked him as he watched him in the mirror.

Eli looked up and met his father's eye's "Can we go to the park and play with Livvie and Noah?"

"I'm sure that would be good, but how about you ask her when we go back out?" Elliot was happy that he seemed to be taking a liking to Olivia and Noah.

"Okay!" he agreed as he got down on the floor and ran out of the door. He got to Olivia just as she was putting Noah back in his stroller "Livvie," he poked her leg and she turned around giving him a smile "Daddy said we could go to the park! Can you and Noah come too?"

"Of course we can!" she said as she ran her fingers through his curly blonde hair.

"Yes," he squealed as he jumped in the air and pumped his fists just as his dad reached the table "She said yes Dad!"

Elliot smiled down at him and looked back up at Olivia "Are you sure you guys are good to go? I don't want it to be too much?" he asked in a hushed tone.

She put her hand on his cheek "Yes, El. There's nothing else I'd rather do. Noah seems to be enjoying himself and I'm having a blast with Eli. I'm glad he even wants us to come."

He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze and smiled "He really likes you guys and I'm sure he'd rather hang out with you and Noah more than his boring old Dad!" he chuckled.

"Well I'm happy if you all are happy, so let's go to the park," she said as she started pushing Noah's stroller out the door following behind Noah and Eli.

"Can I hold Livvie's hand?" Eli asked looking between his dad and Olivia.

Elliot looked at Olivia who nodded her head "Sure buddy," he said as he gave his hand to Olivia and took the stroller from her and pushed it down the block.

Eli swung his hand back and forth with Olivia's and looked at Noah who was sucking on his pacifier "So what does Noah like to do at the park?"

"Well I pushed him on the swings and we went down the slide a few times and he really liked it. What's your favorite thing to do?" she looked down at him and watched as his face lit up.

"The monkey bars! I just learned how to do them!" he smiled proudly.

"Maybe in a few years you can teach Noah?" she asked him as she turned to Elliot and they shared a knowing look.

"Okay!" Eli smiled as he started to pull on her hand as the park came into his view.

They got to the park and Eli immediately ran over to the monkey bars and started climbing on them. Elliot and Olivia walked over to a bench and sat down. She pulled the stroller over and got Noah out of it and bounced him on her knee. "This day is going better than I ever expected. Eli's a special little boy and he's doing really well with Noah."

Elliot watched as Noah moved from one bar to the next "Yeah, this is the happiest I've seen him in a while. The divorce was hard on him for a while but he came around. I think he's just happy to get some more attention," he chuckled.

Olivia nodded in understanding "You've raised some really great kids, Elliot."

"Well I'm not done yet," he smiled as he rubbed Noah's back.

"Glad to hear it," she smiled and gave him a small kiss. "I'm gonna go push him on the swings. Why don't you go have some alone time with Eli?"

"Sounds good to me, we'll come over in a few," he kissed her cheek and went over to Eli.

Olivia walked over and put Noah in the baby swing and gave him a little push, his face immediately lighting up as he patted his hand against the swing. She got lost in her little boys giggles as she thought about their day together. If all continued to go well with Elliot and his kids, Noah would end up with five brother' s and sister's, and it warmed her heart.

Eli brought her out of her thoughts when he tapped her on the leg "Hey Eli! Are you having fun?"

"Yeah! Can I push Noah?" he looked up and asked with hopeful eyes.

"Sure! Go ahead," she said as she moved out of the way and let Eli in front of him. Noah laughed and clapped his hands as Eli pushed him in the swing and went on having a one sided conversation with him.

Olivia felt and arm encircle her waist and she leaned back into him "I think they like each other," Elliot said as they watched the scene in front of them unfold.

She got slightly emotional and sniffled, determined not to let her emotions get away from her "Yeah. He's really good with him. I could never have pictured this."

"I knew he would love you guys just as much as I do," he kissed the side of her cheek.

"Like father, like son," she chuckled.

Eli turned to look at them "Can Noah and Livvie stay over, Dad?"


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Wow guys! Over 200 reviews and 100 followers! You all are amazing and it truly means the world to me that you take the time to read the story and to give me your feedback. Here's the next chapter, Enjoy!

Although Elliot had protested and tried to explain to Eli that Olivia and Noah had their own home and that Noah needed a lot of things to for the night Olivia had waved him off saying they could stay at her house, if they wanted. Of course Elliot had to double check an in the end couldn't say no to her. So now Olivia and Noah were walking back to her apartment as Eli and Elliot drove.

"So Noah," she cooed down to him "Are you okay with having another house guest?" He just smiled and grinned up at her as they made their way into her apartment. She set down all of her things and got him out of the stroller "_Hello_ my big boy!" she kissed him on his cheek and went to sit down with him on the couch. "They're gonna be here any minute but I need some Noah time," she told him as she cuddled him close and laid back on the couch, letting him rest on her chest. He nuzzled his head against her and let out a little sigh. She rubbed his back and kissed his head while she whispered how much she loved him in his ear.

Olivia had loved everything about the day. She was with the love of her life, his son, and her baby boy. Nothing could ever top that. She realized then that there was something she had been missing, a family. She had her work family and she loved them dearly, and her and Noah were a family just the two of them, but when you added more people to it, it only got better. There was more enjoyment and more love, and who didn't want that? Slowly but surely, she could see Elliot's family becoming a part of hers and Noah's. Maybe she was getting carried away or jumping to conclusions, but she didn't care. She was going to enjoy the ride, wherever it took her.

She rested her hands lightly on Noah's back and she knew he had fallen asleep. She could feel his heart beating, feel his warm breath on her skin and her life was complete. She had a wonderful man who had equally wonderful children and her son sleeping in her arms: All was right with the world. She enjoyed the moment for just a bit longer and decided to put Noah in his crib so he wouldn't be disturbed when Eli and Elliot got there. She was walking back out when her front door opened and Eli bounced in followed by an exhausted looking Elliot.

"Livvie," yelled Eli as he ran towards her, wrapping his arms around her legs, almost knocking her over.

"Hey Eli. Did you remember to get your bag from your dads trunk?" she asked him as she tousled his hair.

Eli looked around "Dad! Did you get my bag?"

"Yes, Eli. It's right here," he told him as he put it on the counter "We have to use our inside voices because I think Noah is napping," Elliot told him while looking at Olivia for confirmation and she gave him a nod.

"Awe man, I wanted to play with him some more," Eli sulked over and plopped down on the couch.

Olivia walked over and sat next to him on the couch "Don't worry Eli, he should wake up in an hour or so and you'll have the rest of the night to play with him. I'm sure he'd love that."

Eli rested his head on Olivia's shoulder and sighed "_Alright_."

"What do you want to do until then?" Elliot asked Eli as he made his way over and sat on the chair facing them.

"Uh ... well I'm kinda hungry, Dad." he told them, smirking at his father.

Elliot chuckled "Of course you are. You are getting very tall and strong."

"Yeah, Livvie," he exclaimed, turning to look up at her "I grew two inches since my birthday!"

"You're going to be taller than your dad soon," she chuckled.

"Really? You think so?" Eli questioned looking between Olivia and Elliot.

"You'll pass me up before you know it buddy," Elliot said as he reached over to tickle Eli.

"No Dad. No!" he got out in between his laughter.

No matter what kind of day Elliot had, hearing Eli's laugh would always bring a smile to his face. A child's laughter is one of the most clean and pure things on this planet. The innocence in a child's eyes only lasts for so long and it's something he was going to make sure Eli had for as long as possible. With all of the things Elliot saw over his years as a Detective, seeing a broken and worn down child was one of the hardest. When you saw the light go out in a child's eyes it was something that haunted you. He never wanted any of his children to ever have to experience that kind of pain and hurt ... he wouldn't survive it. Being able to make his son laugh and protecting him from the evils this world was capable of, were two very important job's to Elliot.

"Okay, okay. I'm done," he said laughing as he pulled Eli back up. Eli didn't rest for long as he jumped on his dad, taking him off guard, and tackling him to the ground.

"Look who's got you now dad," Eli laughed as he did his best to tickle him.

"How did this happen?" he laughed as he looked to Olivia who was trying, but failing miserably, to hide her laughter "You're really not going to help me out here?"

"Nope. You Stabler men need to sort this out for yourselves," she laughed as she watched Eli try to give his dad a noogie. While the father and son moment she was witnessing was rather comical, it was also intimate. Elliot was allowing her to be a part of that with him and his son and it was touching. Up until that point she had always been on the outside looking in, but not anymore. Watching as Elliot opened up his life and family to her and Noah was amazing. As she watched them roll around on the floor she realized that if everything continued to go the way they wanted, this would become a normal sight for her.

Elliot just laughed along with them "Okay will you let me go if I make you some dinner?" knowing the way to get to any man, or growing boy, was through their stomach.

Eli sat back on his father's chest as he thought about his options "What are you going to make?" he questioned Elliot, doing his best to give an intimidating glare.

Elliot hid his smile "How about chicken, potatoes, and green beans?"

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise," Elliot said raising up his pinky to Eli.

Eli did the same as he stared into his father's eyes and locked pinkies "Deal. No funny business or you'll be sorry." Eli got off of Elliot and sat back down, cuddling into Olivia's side.

Olivia did the best to cover her face with her hand but as soon as Elliot made eye contact, it was useless. They both broke out in laughter. "He definitely gets that from you," Olivia managed as her laughter subsided.

"Me?" Elliot questioned shaking his head as he stood up.

"Yes you, Elliot. Eli's little attitude is the exact same as yours when you're in the interrogation room, only less aggressive," she chuckled as Eli changed the channels of the television and she ran her hand through his curly locks.

"I guess you're right, but I hope he doesn't turn out the same way," he said as he looked straight at Olivia. She could tell by the way he said it that it wasn't just something to say. There was a sadness in his eyes and she made a mental note to ask him about it later. She had a feeling it wasn't going to be a simple explanation and figured it would probably be better if they had privacy when it was brought up again.

There was an awkward moment of silence before Olivia finally spoke "Well, do you want help with dinner?"

Elliot let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding when she changed the direction of their conversation "No, I'm good. Why don't you two just hang out a little before Noah wakes up?"

"Works for me," Olivia said as she turned to watch TV with Eli.

The rest of the night had went really well. Elliot had cooked dinner for them and Eli and Olivia got to bond a bit more. Eli had told her all about school, soccer, his friends, and everything in between while she hung on every word and asked him questions. They had eaten dinner together and Eli played with Noah until bed time.

Olivia watched as the two boys played ingraining the moment into her memory. To the outside world it would seem like just another normal Friday night, but they didn't know the history. She never thought that she would have this ... any of it. The kids playing in her living room and the man she loved sitting next to her were things she had given up on long ago. _I guess it's true what they say, good things come to those who wait, s_he thought as she rubbed her thumb across the back of Elliot's hand that was incasing hers.

Elliot gave Eli a bath and had him get ready for bed while Olivia put Noah down for bed and made up the pull out couch. Olivia was just finishing when she felt two arms encircle her waist.

"Elliot, you're soaking wet. You're going to ruin this shirt. Let go of me," she giggled as his hot breath hit her neck and he kissed the sensitive spot behind her ear.

He held her even tighter and kissed down her neck "I _can't_," he whined "I don't get to sleep next to you tonight and feel your naked body against me"

Elliot was going to spend some father son time with Eli by watching movies all night long and sleeping out in the living room with him.

Olivia turned to face him, pressing every inch of her body against him. She ran her fingers through his hair and then let her hands fall down his back, resting them on his perfect backside. She pulled him closer to her "Awe I'm sorry, baby," she whispered huskily as she kissed his jaw up to his ear and sucked on his ear lobe.

He exhaled sharply as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her body against his "The things you do to me," he growled into her ear.

"You know you love it," she whispered into his mouth as her lips found his. While she had him distracted she snaked her hand down in between them and found his erection. She let out a low groan as his mouth found hers as he moved his hands further down her back and gave her ass a squeeze.

She rubbed her hand across the bulge in his pants and he bit down on her shoulder to stifle a moan as she continued her ministrations "Uh, Baby, you have to stop or I'm going to have a mess to deal with."

Her plan to get him all hot and bothered had slightly back fired as she now found herself in the same state of arousal "Okay," she pouted as she gave him one last squeeze and kiss.

"Okay Dad! I'm ready for movie night," Eli exclaimed as he bound into the living room and jumped up onto the bed.

Elliot's face was flushed as he tried to get his mind off of Olivia and his sexual frustration "Okay pick out a movie and I'll make some popcorn."

"Okay! Extra butter," Eli replied as he started looking for a movie.

Elliot shook his head and smirked "Well he's specific."

"Good night Eli. I hope you had fun because I know Noah did. You tired him out," Olivia chuckled as she tousled his wet curls.

"Night Livvie. I had so much fun with you guys. See you in the morning," He said as he got on his knees to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek, surprising both adults.

She kissed the top of his head "I'll see you in the morning."

Elliot grabbed Olivia's hand and started towards the kitchen "I'll be right back."

Once in the kitchen he backed her against the counter and took her lips with his, joining them in a slow passionate kiss. He trailed light kisses all the way to her ear "I love you, Liv."

She held him just a little tighter before letting go "I love you too, El. Have fun with Eli tonight."

He gave her one more peck on her lips "Good night, love you."

"Love you more," she whispered as she made her way to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Olivia used her alone time to relax and unwind with a glass of wine and a bubble bath. She took her time and allowed the hot water to soothe her aching muscles . Once she got out she lathered herself up with her favorite scented lotion and blow dried her hair. She threw on one of Elliot's shirts and a pair of shorts and crawled into bed with a new book. She was halfway through the book when there was a light knock on her door and Elliot's head peaked around the door.

"I thought you'd be asleep already," he said as he made his way towards the bed.

She took off her glasses and set them on the nightstand along with her book, "No, I was just catching up on some reading. I can't remember the last time I even got a chance to read a book."

Elliot got on the bed and crawled up to her, allowing her to wrap her arms around him and hold him to her chest. He wrapped his arms around her midsection and let his head rest on her breast and she kissed the top of his head "I missed you."

Olivia ran her fingers through his hair "I missed you too, but it's only been a couple of hours." He mumbled something into her chest that she couldn't quite understand so she turned his head so she could see his face, "What was that?"

He had his chin resting on her now and was looking up at her face "I know, but you were only a couple feet away and I just needed to feel you. I needed you to hold me."

"I love you," she murmured as she bent down to leave a sweet and tender kiss on his lips "Can I ask you a question about something you said earlier?" He dropped his head back down to her chest and nodded his head. She stroked the side of his cheek and his back "Why did you say that you didn't want Eli to turn out like you?"

Elliot knew that she had caught his slip but was hoping that she had forgotten about it. Unfortunately for him, Olivia Benson was too perceptive of a woman and detective to just let it slide. He let out a sigh "I don't know. Eli is such an amazing boy and I think he has so much potential in him to be a better man than I ever was, or will be."

Olivia sat quiet for a second, letting his words sink in. _Does he really think he's not a good man? _She turned his face back to her and saw the sadness and the shame that had put up residence in his eyes "_You ... _are a _great_ man, Elliot Stabler."

He shook his head "You have to say that."

"No, El, I don't. I'm saying it because it's true," she bent down and left a kiss on his forehead. "You are the best father, and _boyfriend,_ anyone could have ever asked for. You're noble, caring, and selfless. When we were on the job, you would have given your _life_ to save me, or one of the victims, any day of the week. Everyone has faults, El, even me," she said trying to lighten the mood and she received a chuckle from Elliot, "All of the qualities you possess, good and bad, make for a fiercely loyal, loving, devoted protector that anyone could ever be and Eli will become a great man, just like you. Please don't doubt yourself, baby. I love all of you, good and bad, unconditionally."

"Okay," Elliot replied breathily as he willed away the tears that filled his eyes and made his way up her body to claim her lips. He kissed his way down her neck and back to her ear "You're my _girlfriend_ ," he smiled against her ear and breathed out almost unbelieving "I love you."


	18. Chapter 18

After taking Eli home Sunday night, the following week had went extremely well. Olivia and Elliot's relationship was still in the fast lane but it was smooth sailing. They had fun filled days with Noah, romantic nights, and a love life that would put most to shame. Elliot was at work and Fin was planning on stopping over to see Olivia and Noah.

Noah had just finished lunch and Olivia was getting him out of his high chair "Alright, Noah. Your Uncle Fin will be here in a little while, he's missed you." Noah was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a blue shirt that said "I love my Uncle". "C'mon little man, mama wants to cuddle before he gets here and steals all the attention." Olivia took him into their bedroom and laid down with him on the bed. Noah was constantly trying to crawl around and was getting better every day. "I hope you know how much your mama loves you," she told him as she kissed his chubby little cheek.

Noah pushed himself up onto her body and pressed his hands into her cheeks "Mama," he said as he planted a slobbery kiss on her cheek. He laid his head down on her chest and snuggled his body down into hers. His hands were splayed across her chest above his head.

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to each hand that rested possessively on her body. She was his, and he knew it. Olivia rubbed his back and left kisses all over his head and face. There was nothing in the world that could compare to feeling your child's heart beating against you. Knowing that a tiny little human relied on you for everything is something so powerful that sometimes Olivia couldn't believe it, but in that moment there was nothing else. She was his and he was hers.

They cuddled for a while, enjoying the moment the two had alone. It was short lived however as there was knock on the door and her phone began ringing. "Well it looks like Uncle Fin's here, bud." Noah fussed a bit as she picked him up and moved him to her hip. She wrapped a hand around his head, pulling him closer so she could nuzzle into his cheek "I promise we can have some more cuddle time later okay, bubs?"

Olivia and Noah made it through the apartment and to the door, throwing it open. "Hey Fin! How have you been?" she asked giving him a light hug, which he returned.

"I've been good, but I've been missin you guys like crazy," he told her as he scooped up Noah, who was clapping his hands and smiling. Fin bounced Noah around making funny faces at him and kissing his cheek "How have you guys been? The precinct isn't the same without you, ya know."

"I'm sure everyone is managing just fine, although I do miss it. Noah and I have been great and I wouldn't trade anything in the world for the time I have here with him," she told him as she ran her hand through Noah's hair and made her way to the kitchen "Coffee?"

Fin took Noah into the living room area "That would be great." Fin played with Noah while Olivia made them both a cup of coffee.

Olivia watched as Fin rolled Noah's toy bus back and forth and jingled his keys for him to play with. She didn't really get to see this side of him much and it was nice change of pace. Fin had mentioned over the years that he regretted the relationship, or lack thereof, between him and his son Ken, but recently they had been working towards rebuilding it.

Fin took Noah as his second chance. Even though Noah wasn't his son he was going to do everything he could to be there for him as his Uncle. He had made his mistakes and had most certainly learned from them and he wasn't going to let Noah or Olivia down. Fin was looking around the apartment and noticed a pair of men's dress shoes under the table. "Who's are those?" he asked her as she made her way into the room with his coffee.

"Whose are what?" she replied as she sat down on the couch, furrowing her brow and feigning confusion.

"Don't play dumb with me, babygirl. Those," he said slightly exasperated as he pointed to the shoes "_Whose_ are _those_?"

"Uh..." Olivia stuttered as she fiddled with her coffee mug and took a long swig "Uh, no ones."

"Did you get back with Brian?" He questioned her, the frustration making its way into his voice. "You let that prick back into your life? After all he said! All he did and didn't do for you, after the second round of Lewis, you just took him back?" His voice getting louder with each word.

"Fin!" she said slightly taken back by his tone "You don't get to talk..."

She was interrupted as he was now talking over her "No! I'm not going to sit here and listen to you tell me how Cassidy _changed_ or whatever woman say to try to defend what they do. He is still the immature ass hole everyone said he used to be. He gets drunk and screws prostitutes for _the job_ but it's way more than that. You're can't be this stupid!"

Olivia sat there for a moment, completely shocked at the fact that he was yelling at her. She finally got it together and got right in his face "Who do you think you are, Fin? You are _not_ my father and you have no right to talk to me like that! I can be with whomever I chose to be with whether you like it or not!" Now they were both yelling and Noah started to whimper, but both of them were too preoccupied in the current fight that neither had heard him.

"I thought he didn't want kids? He didn't even want the commitment of moving in together at the beginning! Now what? Everything's different? He finally came to his senses and realized that you are the best woman he would ever be able to land, huh? And you just took him back without a thought?" He yelled back at her. Fin was not about to let her make one of the dumbest decisions she would have ever made, second to falling in love with Stabler, which he had kept the fact that he knew all these years strictly to himself.

"Would you just _shut up_?" Olivia screamed at him. "You have no idea what you're talking about and I'm not about to let you insult me and my intelligence! You aren't exactly the best role model for relationships or family decisions now are you, Fin? You left your wife to raise your son for most of his life while you went undercover trying to escape from reality. And your nephew, or stepson, or whatever Darius is to you, is a killer! On top of that you haven't had a serious relationship, or any relationship for that matter, for as long as I've known you!" She let it all out before she even had a chance to think better of it, but he was attacking her now and that's what happens when you back her into a corner. They way he retreated almost immediately told her she hit way below the belt.

Fin was shocked at what she had said. She was using the things that he confided in her with the utmost confidence that she wouldn't judge him for it. He had told her things over the years that he hadn't dare discuss with anyone else, not even Munch. Darius' trial had taken a toll on him, and she knew that, but she still had the nerve to use that against him. " I_ cannot_ believe you have the balls to say that! You are a self-righteous little hypocrite, Olivia! Have you forgotten how long I've known you? Or how I've been here for you through all of the bull shit?" He was indignant.

Olivia stammered "Uh... um". Through all of the years they had never fought or argued, and this whole ordeal had taken her for a loop. Now all she wanted to do was just tell him it was Elliot and hopefully put an end to this "It's not even... "

Fin didn't let her finish "Of course you have, because you are so self-absorbed that no one else matters! It's Olivia's world and we're all just livin in it, like always. Every relationship you've had, whether it be Cassidy or Haden, ends in disaster. I watched you fall in love with a married man with a family, your _partner_, for eleven years!"

Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. She wanted to just come out and admit everything but the habit of denying it was too hard to break "What are you talking about?"

"Who are you trying to fool, Olivia? It's not like you were discrete about it! Everyone knew and the way you acted once he was gone only confirmed suspicions. You got so attached to Stabler that you lost yourself when he left! You were devastated and you were a _bitch,_ to everyone, but especially Nick. Well, guess what Olivia? That's was _your_ fault and you took it out on everyone else! You knew he was off limits to begin with, but you just couldn't help yourself. What was it? Were you just lonely and desperate?" Fin wasn't usually the one to hurt her but this wasn't normal circumstances. She opened the door and started slinging mud, so he was going to get down and dirty, just like her.

That was the last straw, for all of them. Noah's cry's filled the room and brought them both back. Olivia couldn't move, she was glued to her spot. All of the things they both said were hanging in the air like dirty laundry. The tension that had formed between them was palpable. They stood there starring at each other, willing the other to say something to make it better, as Noah's wails got louder. His cry was piercing her ear's when she finally realized that Noah was sitting at her feet, his face red and as his tears streamed down over his cheeks.

"Oh my god! Noah," Olivia reached down and picked him up, clutching him to her chest. "Get out _now_!" she yelled at Fin. Olivia was doing her best to soothe Noah as tears slowly started to form in her eyes. It was all just too much. The things Fin had said to her were hurtful, and they were finally hitting her "I never thought that you of all people, would ever say anything like that to me."

Fin saw the stress and the tears forming and knew that he messed up. He never meant for it to go that far and to be honest, he wasn't even sure what had caused the anger to begin with "Liv..."

She cut him off "Just stop talking already! I can't take any more of your shit today! You managed to ruin my day, and Noah's. I have nothing left to say to you now that I know how you really feel. Please, _just_ _leave_. _Now_!"

Fin wanted to protest and apologize but he knew it wouldn't do any good. They both had said some hurtful things and they both needed time to calm down, so he turned around and made his way to the door, his head down and shoulders slumped.

Just as he reached the door Olivia spoke again "Not that you deserve the right to know after that display, but it's not Brian that I'm with ... It's Elliot," and with that she turned on her heel taking a still crying Noah to her room and slamming the door behind her. She laid down with Noah and finally heard the front door open and close, signaling that Fin had left, when she finally allowed the tears to fall.

Olivia did the best she could to calm Noah down, but between her cries and Noah's, she wasn't having much luck. She bounced around and rubbed his back trying to calm him, but to no avail. After 10 minutes of just nonstop crying, her bedroom door opened and in rushed Elliot. "Liv, baby, what's going on? I heard him crying from the hallway."

She turned around to face him, revealing Noah's red face along with her tear stained one "I can't get him to calm down," she said between shallow breaths and sobs.

He moved to them taking Noah out of her arms, and cradling him in his "Okay, okay, let's just all take some deep breaths." Elliot took Olivia into his arms and rubbed her back, doing his best to calm her. "Just breathe Liv, your scaring me," he said as he stroked her hair and kissed the side of her face. "Let me go get his pacifier and try to get him down for his nap and I'll be right back," he told her and she nodded her head. He kissed her forehead and left the room.

He took Noah into his nursery, changed his diaper and got him a pacifier. Elliot moved him up to his chest and sat down in the rocker, hoping he would fall asleep. He rubbed his back and kissed his head as he whispered into his ear "I'm sorry you're so upset little man, but I love you very much. I don't like to see you or your mama crying like this. It breaks my heart. You just take a nap and when you wake up, everything will be better. I promise." After a little while Noah's breathing evened out and his pacifier dropped out of his mouth. Elliot gave him one last kiss on the head and put him in his crib "Onto your mama."


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: As always, thank you for being so wonderful and reading the story and leaving me your thoughts! Here is some more. Enjoy!

When Elliot made it back to Olivia she had cried herself to sleep as he made his way to the bed and saw that her face was still damp. He took of his jacket, kicked off his shoes, and got on the bed in front of her. He gently wiped away the remaining moisture from under her eyes and kissed her forehead. He settled down on his pillow and pulled her towards him. She sunk down against his body and let out a contended sigh. Elliot watched her sleep for a while until he also fell asleep.

Elliot woke up to Noah's whimpers coming through the monitor. Olivia was still asleep, so he untangled himself from her, and left the room. He got Noah from the crib and went out into the living room to have some bonding time with him. Whatever had went on before he returned home from work had clearly drained Olivia and he wanted her to rest. They would talk when she woke up.

Noah and Elliot played for an hour or so and then it was time for dinner. Elliot put Noah in his high chair and made him some baby food. "_God_, I forgot how gross this stuff was," he chuckled as he scooped the pureed squash mixture into a bowl. Elliot fed Noah and enjoyed the time they had together. Taking care of a baby again was hard work, but to him it was just like riding a bike. He felt like he missed so many little moments of his own kid's that he wasn't going to miss out on the moments with Noah, it would probably be his last chance to help raise a child. "Okay there, buddy, you are one cute little mess, but we gotta get you cleaned up before bedtime. Dada's going to clean the kitchen up and then get you a bath."

Elliot started cleaning off the counters and putting the dirty dishes in the sink when he heard "Da." He stopped what he was doing and turned around to see Noah staring back at him. "Dada," he clapped and smacked his hands off his tray. While Elliot had been through this five times already, it wasn't any less special. The overwhelming joy and love he felt in that moment was just as strong. Even though some people would say that Noah had no idea what he was saying and that they were just sounds to him, Elliot felt like he knew what he was saying when he said Mama, and now, Dada. Elliot went to Noah and took him in his arms, cuddling him close and kissing his cheek "You are so smart, Noah. I'm your Dada and I love you so much, little man."

The rest of their evening together was spent giving Noah a bath and getting him ready for bed time. Once Noah was ready for bed Elliot made him a bottle and took him back to his room. Elliot cradled Noah in his arm and fed him the bottle as he bounced around the room. "Your Mama and I love you very much Noah. If it wasn't for you coming into her life, I don't know that any of this would have happened. You brought us back to each other. You, you did that little one. You made us a family, Noah," he spoke down to him and kissed his head. Noah's eyes were heavy and drooping as he tried his best to fight off sleep. Elliot rocked him in his arms for a few more minutes until Noah's eyes finally fluttered shut. Elliot kissed him on the head and put him in his crib, closing the door behind him.

He decided to pour a glass of wine and run a bath for Olivia. Elliot lit some candles throughout the bathroom and added Olivia's favorite scented bath soap to the water. Once he was satisfied with how it was coming along he decided to give her a proper wake up. He sat down on the bed next to her and ran his fingers through her hair. She stirred slightly and her eyelids flickered but she settled down deeper on her pillow, resting her face against his hand. He stifled a laugh and bent down, leaving feather light kisses all along her neck and up to her ear. "Wake up, beautiful. You've been asleep all night," he cooed as he kissed her temple.

Olivia shifted and stretched her arms out over her head and her eyes fluttered open, "Hi."

"Hi," he said as he gave her a sweet kiss on the lips, "I have a bath going for you and I poured you a glass of your favorite. It seemed to me like you had a stressful day."

She nodded her head "You don't even know the half of it. I honestly don't even think I can get out of this bed," she frowned.

"Don't worry about it," Elliot scooped her up in his arms, eliciting a squeal from her "You don't have to lift a finger." He took her into the bathroom and set her down on the counter. He kissed her neck and proceeded to help her undress and get into the bath.

"This is amazing," she sighed as she laid back and allowed for the vanilla scented bath water to run over her shoulders and ease her tension. Elliot handed her the glass of wine and she took a sip, closing her eyes and savoring the taste. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to join me?" she purred seductively.

"You don't need to ask me twice," he said as he began to strip from his clothes.

Olivia soaked in the bath enjoying her wine and the amazing form in front of her. Elliot was just as beautiful as he was when she first met him. His body was still in amazing shape, from head to toe. The way his abs rippled as he pulled off his shirt, how the muscles in his legs flexed to perfection as he pushed down his pants and boxers, finally stepping out of them.

"Move up," he told her as he slipped in behind her. He pulled her back against him and nuzzled into the crook of her neck "So do you want to talk about what happened today?" He felt her tense up so he moved his hands to her back, gently massaging her overworked muscles.

"Mhm..." she moaned as she dropped her head forward and allowed him access to her neck "That feels _incredible_."

Elliot continued his ministrations for a while until Olivia was putty in his hands. He took the glass from her hand and took a generous sip before putting it aside. "Okay. Let's talk about what happened today. I haven't seen you that upset in, I don't know how long, but Noah. _God_, that just broke my heart."

She reached back took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips "I'm sorry you walked into that. I was so upset that I couldn't get him to calm down. I felt like a terrible mother."

Elliot rubbed her arms and pulled her back so she was flush against him "You are _not_ a terrible mother, Liv. Whatever happened today really affected the both of you, and I would really appreciate if you would tell me what caused this reaction . Please," he begged her as he kissed her cheek. Coming home and seeing his girlfriend and son both in tears was something that took him completely off guard and had hit him hard. He was supposed to protect them and take care of them, but he let them down.

There was something in the way he had asked her to tell him, something that told her he needed the details, even if she didn't want him to know. "It was Fin. He came over to see us and he saw your shoes and asked whose they were. I didn't want to have that conversation without you being here so I tried to brush it off and then he assumed they were Brain's and he went _off._" She took a deep breath and a sip from her glass "He started off by saying what an ass hole Brian is and that I couldn't be stupid enough to take him back. Then I brought up how he was an absentee father and has no idea how to make a relationship work, which was wrong of me to say, but I did and that's when the yelling started and we both just started to try to hurt the other more. The yelling is what set Noah off and I didn't even realize he was crying until the end" She relaxed back into him and allowed his arms to encircle her waist. "He brought you up and how it wasn't my place to fall in love with you, and it was my fault I got hurt when you walked away," she felt herself tearing up and allowed Elliot to turn her around in his arms and she rested her head on his chest.

"It's okay, baby. I've got you," he murmured into her ear and kissed her cheek as he rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. "Fin has always played the role of your protective older brother and he has _always_ wanted what was best for you. To me it sounds like he just jumped to conclusions and got carried away. I don't think he would ever intentionally hurt you like that."

Olivia nodded her head against his chest "I know that. We were both in the heat of the moment and said some really horrible things to each other."

"Not that his reaction would have been any better, but why didn't you just tell him it was me?" he questioned as he kissed her forehead and brought some water up over them, trying to keep them warm.

"I forced him to leave as he was trying to apologize and I told him it was you. I only did it because I wanted to prove him wrong," she sighed as she absent mindedly rubbed circles on his chest.

"You both have been really good friends for so long and I'm sure he stepped up for you when I left. He probably feels just as bad about everything as you do and I think that the sooner you guys talk this through the better," he reasoned with her as moved his hands to rest on the small of her back.

She looked up at him rested her hand on his cheek "When did you become the voice of reason?"

He chuckled "Very funny, but I think it was all those years working with you. You always put me in my place and made me see the truth, even if I didn't want to," he told her as he captured her lips in a sweet yet passionate kiss, "But make no mistake, if he makes you or Noah cry again, the voice of reason goes out the window."

"Okay Mr. Protector, calm down," she smiled at him as she rubbed his thighs "But you're right, I'll talk to him after this. My phone has been buzzing all night and they're probably all from him," she turned to look up at him and caught the glint in his eyes "Yes, I said you are right and you are _not_ to tell anyone."

He pulled her to him so she was straddling his lap and kissed up her chest to her mouth "My lips are sealed."

After some passionate one on one time in the tub they made their way to the bedroom and were about to start round two when Olivia's phone buzzed again. She pushed Elliot off of her and went to grab her phone.

"What are you doing? I didn't mean you had to do it this second, he'll still be there tomorrow," he whined at her as he tried to bring her back to the bed.

She saw she had five voicemails and seven txt messages, all from Fin. The most recent saying:

_Babygirl, I am so sorry for how it all went down today. I never meant for it to get out of hand like that and I didn't mean anything that I said. You just caught me off guard and when I thought it was Brian it just upset me. You deserve so much better than him and I'm happy you got your love back, although I do have a couple choice words for him. I never wanted to hurt you, or Noah, and I regret every second of it. I hope that in time you will be able to forgive me. -Fin_

"Just give me a minute, El. I promise we can pick up right where we left off," she threw on his shirt, gave him a peck on the lips and walked out into the living room and dialed Fin's number.

He picked up on the third ring "Hey, Babygirl," his tone a somber one.

"Hey, Fin," she sighed, mimicking his tone.

"I am so sorry about everything today. I didn't want to make you cry, and seeing Noah like that, _damn_. I felt like such an ass hole," he sighed.

"Me too, Fin. I said some things that I never should have said and I'm sorry too." She let out a breath and fiddled with the bottoms on her shirt. "How do we move on from this? You're still one of my best friends and you're Noah's uncle. I don't want any of that to change."

He let out a sigh, this time one of relief "I don't know how we move on, but I'm happy you want to work this through. I don't want anything to change either."

She smiled, not that he would be able to see it, but she hoped the change in her voice would be able to convey that to him "How about we just put this whole mess behind us and start that conversation over. Why don't you stop by later this week and we can talk about everything and you can get a chance to make it up to Noah and talk with Elliot, if you want?"

"That sounds great. Any idea what to get a baby I made cry?" he chuckled trying to get them back on the right foot.

"Anything that makes noise and he can chew on," she chuckled along with him "Good night Fin, I'll see you later."

"Alright sounds good, give Noah a kiss for me," he replied and ended the call.

Olivia set her phone down on the counter and went to check on Noah. She ran her fingers through his hair and gave him a couple light kisses on his cheeks and then left him to sleep. She made her way back into her room where Elliot was waiting for her.

"How'd it go?" he asked as he put down the paper he was reading.

Olivia made her way to the bed and pushed him down on his back "It went well, he's going to stop by so we can tell him about you and me, later this week." She kissed his jaw and then made her way to his ear lobe, biting it lightly and soothing it with her tongue "I'm all yours now."

Elliot took her by surprise and flipped her onto her back so he was above her "Oh really?"


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: As always, leave me your thoughts and enjoy!

It had been three weeks since her blow up with Fin and one week since she decided to tell Nick and Amanda about Elliot. Surprisingly though, it had went well. Neither Nick or Amanda had lived through the Benson-Stabler days so they didn't really have anything to go off of so they had accepted Elliot. Fin and Elliot had a long talk about everything that had went down, ending with a handshake and a mutual understanding that they both wanted what was best for Olivia so they put the past behind them and started fresh. Tonight though, she was starting all over again. Her and Elliot had decided to tell the rest of his kids.

Elliot was preparing dinner in the kitchen while Olivia paced around the living room, wine glass in hand. "Liv, calm down. They aren't savages," he chuckled, but only received a glare from her so he changed his approach. "C'mere," he opened his arms, encouraging her to come to him but she just shook her head. He walked towards her, stopping a couple feet away "_Please_."

She put down her glass and willingly went into his arms, resting her head on his chest "What if they're mad? Or they think that we've been lying to them? I haven't seen them in three years Elliot we're all different people. What if they don't even like me anymore?"

"Liv, you are thinking way too deep into this," he tried to soothe, holding her tight and rubbing her back. "You have always had a special place in their heart's. The three years where I didn't speak to you, they asked me about you and tried to convince me to call you all of the time."

"They what?" she asked, turning her face up towards his.

He gave her a sweet peck on the lips "You heard me. They wanted me to talk to you. I closed myself off for a really long time and wouldn't talk to anyone. They figured that maybe talking about you or getting me to call you would help but I just couldn't do it." He dropped his head down to rest his forehead against hers "In the beginning, the memories of you only made me miss you more and made me regret what I was doing. I was so ashamed of myself and what I had done, that I was such a coward to walk away from you." He gave her another light kiss and then dropped his head to her shoulder "After about a year, maybe more, I realized the memories of you were the only thing, along with my kids, that kept me going. They never gave up on me, even after all that time, they would still ask about you or hint that I should call." He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands "The point of me telling you that was to show you that they already have some sort of idea how much I care about you and how much you mean to me, and I know that you mean a lot to them too."

"Thank you," she breathed out as she pulled his face down so she could kiss him.

Once he pulled back he looked deep into her eyes, getting lost in them like he always did "No ... Thank you , Liv. For everything you have given me, but more importantly, loving me the way you do."

Olivia sniffled and she kissed him again, allowing her lips to linger on his and feeling the tingling sensation she got every time he kissed her "I love you so much, Elliot, but you can't make me cry right now," she chuckled "I don't want to be a mess when your kids get here."

Elliot pushed the hair away from her face "You're beautiful and I love you more than words ... please stop worrying. The Stabler's love you," and with that there was a knock on the door, "I'll get it."

"Okay," she nodded her head and finished the last bit of wine.

Elliot threw open the doors "Hey guys, I've missed you."

"We've missed you too," they all chorused as they all exchanged hugs.

"Where's Liv, Dad? We have a lot to catch up on," Lizzie stated as she threw off her jacket.

"Chill, Liz. You got all night," Dickie said as he sat down at one of the bar stools.

"Yeah! Where's Livvie? Livvie!" Eli shouted as he kicked off his light up shoes and ran into the living room.

Olivia came out of the nursery with Noah on her hip "Hey everyone, long time no see."

"Livvie!" Eli yelled as he ran to her, hugging her legs.

She ran her hand through his hair and hugged him to her "Eli! How are you doing? I've missed you."

"Oh _God_, Liv! He has talked about you and Noah nonstop," Maureen confided as she went to Olivia and embraced her in a warm hug. "How _are_ you? It's been too long. "

"Well I guess Eli has warmed you all up for this" Olivia chuckled as she looked between all of the Stabler kids and Elliot "I'm great Maureen, really I have never been better. How have you been?"

"Oh we're good, Liv." Kathleen chimed in as she joined them and gave her a hug, running her hand down Noah's leg, "Who is this little guy?"

"It's Noah, Katie," Eli said as he stood up on the couch to get a better look at him "He likes ice cream and he's super fun. Can I play with him?" He asked eagerly.

"Yeah, of course! Here's his toys, but dinner should be ready soon," she told him as she gave Noah a kiss on the head and put him on his play mat with Eli.

"How about we let Liv take a breath before you guys all jump on her with questions, huh?" Elliot told them as he came in from the kitchen and took her hand in his.

"El, I'm fine. Really. I've missed them all as well and I'm sure I have just as many questions for them as they do for me," she told him, lightly squeezing his hand to give him reassurances.

"So is there anything else we need to know, other than the fact you two are together now?" Dickie questioned as he pushed himself off the stool and made his way towards where the group was gathered.

"Uh ... well, El?" Olivia stuttered, getting slightly flustered, and looking to Elliot for some guidance.

"Well, I guess not. We were going to tell you all over dinner but I guess some people just can't wait for us to announce it," He said looking pointedly looking at his oldest son.

"Sorry," Dickie mumbled and rolled his eyes as he left the group and went into the living room to see Noah and Eli.

"Don't worry about him, I'll talk to him later," Elliot told Olivia as he kissed her cheek.

"Yeah, Liv. That's just how he is. He isn't really good with change," Maureen said as she gave her arm as gentle squeeze and made her way to the living room.

"Do you think we could talk for a minute?" Kathleen asked Olivia, motioning towards the kitchen.

Olivia nodded and followed her into the kitchen, allowing them a little bit of privacy "What did you want to talk about?"

"Um... I don't know if I ever really thanked you for being there for me when I was younger. With the disease and everything else, you were always behind me, helping me to be the person you knew I could be." She took a deep breath and enveloped Olivia in a hug, taking her by surprise. "I know my parents have always been there for me, but you had an outsider approach and it just meant the world to me that you did all of that for me ... for my family."

Olivia pulled back and held her tears at bay "You don't have to thank me, Kathleen. I would do that for any one of you. You all have a special place in my life. The greatest thanks is that you have turned into a beautiful woman, inside and out, and I couldn't be more proud of you."

"Thanks, Liv. I'm working with a group that helps at risk youth as well another that helps parent's understand and deal with children with mental diseases. I have an amazing fiancé," she told Olivia holding out her left hand "And I know that I wouldn't have any of this if I didn't accept my disease and take the action I needed to and it's really all because of you."

Olivia took her hand and admired the engagement ring that sat on her ring finger. It was simple but elegant 2 carat diamond with a white gold band. "Kathleen, it's beautiful," she gushed, "I hope I get to meet the lucky guy one day. I am truly so happy for you, honey."

Kathleen smiled just at the thought of her fiancé, "His name is Aaron. We will definitely have to set up a coffee date or something like that one day." Kathleen gave her another brief hug and started into the living room "Oh, and Liv?" she asked and Olivia turned back to her "I'm happy for you and my dad. There isn't anyone else in the world I would want him to be with, and over the last month or so, he's been really happy. He's back to his old self," and with that, Kathleen walked away to join the rest of her family.

Elliot made his way into the kitchen "What was that about?" he asked, gesturing towards Kathleen.

"Nothing, all good things." She told him, giving him a hug and a peck on the lips "You have some amazing children, you know that?"

"Yeah. I just want to figure out what's going on with Dickie. I don't want him to be upset about any of this," he confided.

"Just talk to him after dinner. Give him the chance to explain to you how he feels about it or whatever is going through his head," she told him, running her hands up his chest. "I'm not too worried about it, he has the right to feel however he wants about this. Just let him process it."

He dropped his head down, leaving a gentle kiss on her lips "I love you so much. Thank you for being so understanding."

"They're your _kids_, El. They are your first priority, as they should be, and I want this to work for all of us," she encouraged.

"I know, but you're a major priority too. How about we have dinner and enjoy the rest of the evening and I'll talk with Dickie after?" he ran his fingers through her hair, enjoying the feel of her silky locks falling through his rough hands. She nodded her head and he kissed her once more.

They all sat down at the table to enjoy their meal, minus Noah who was in the high chair. The conversation throughout dinner remained light. Lizzie talked nonstop about college and how it was the time of her life. Maureen told her all about her husband of two years, James, and her career in PR. Kathleen chimed in now and again with plans for the wedding and how different it was living with someone full time again. Eli was a regular chatter box, providing entertainment for the whole group.

They all asked questions of their father's new relationship with Olivia, which they happily answered, as well as Noah and his adoption. The only one remaining relatively quiet was Dickie. After dinner had ended and they were cleaning off the table, Elliot took Dickie aside.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Dickie?" Elliot asked him.

"I don't know really. It's just weird seeing you with her and Noah," he shrugged and busied his hands with the edges of the pillow.

"Weird how?" he questioned as he sat back on the couch.

Dickie dropped the pillow on the couch and looked to his father "I feel like you're happier with Olivia and Noah than you ever were when you were with Mom and us."

Elliot was taken aback by the honesty Dickie was giving him and it stung. The last thing he wanted, for any of his children, was for them to feel slighted or that he loved them any less. When he had worked with Olivia, Dickie had his own thoughts and opinions about it and since the actual relationship was still very new, they had never really talked man to man about the deep rooted feelings and emotions that he had for Olivia after all of the years, on and off the job. He took a deep breath and decided that honesty was going to be the best way to deal with this and he prepared to lay all of that out there with the hope that his son would understand.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Here is some more ... Enjoy!

"The best thing I ever did with my life was becoming a father. There isn't anything in this world that could ever compare to being a father to some of the best kid's on this planet. When you were born, my world completely changed. I already had girls and added another with Lizzie but on the same day I got you, my _son_. You were the one who I was going to teach how to play baseball, the one who I was going to be able to play in the dirt and rough house with. I was going to teach you how to treat a woman, I wanted to teach you to be a better man than me." He looked to Dickie and found him starring directly back at him. "I'd like to think that I accomplished most of the things that I wanted to do, but I know I wasn't perfect. I worked crazy hours and missed a lot of school functions, but don't think for one second it was because I didn't love you, or didn't want to spend time with you. Being around you, and your brother and sisters, are the happiest times in my life."

Dickie took in everything his Father had just said before responding. "Is it different with Noah? Do you feel differently about him than you do about us?"

"No. I love him just the same as I love you. There is a difference though," he trailed off to look at Dickie's face, trying to gauge a reaction. "The schedule I have now allows me to be around more and spend more time with Noah than I was able to with you, and I wish I would have had this job back then. At my age, I am really trying to capture every moment I can with Noah and every milestone because this will probably be the last baby I'll watch grow into an adult. I regret all of the things I missed out on and not being able to fully enjoy every little thing, but the memories I have with you and your siblings are the ones I hold the closest to my heart. Now that I have steady hours and a lot more free time, and with Noah, I hope that you and I will become closer, as well as your siblings."

Dickie reached out and rested a hand on Elliot's shoulder "We know you love us, Dad. I think we could all work a little harder to bring us closer together. Growing up, it was hard that you weren't around like most kids' parent's but we understood that you had an important job to do. You were my hero back then ... you still are."

Elliot looked to his son and recognized the sincerity in his eyes and voice and it felt like a burden was lifted from his shoulders. He had always carried around the regret and sadness that he let his children down and was happy to know that they did understand and that they knew he loved them with all he had.

Dickie dropped his arm from his Father's shoulder "So you and Olivia versus you and Mom?"

Elliot took a deep breath and looked down at his hands "What Olivia and I have is just different than what I had with your mom. Your mother and I were stuck in a situation where marriage and building a life together was the best option. We were young and in love with a baby on the way, but I don't regret any of it because I got you and your brother and sisters out of it. I truly did love her and a part of me always will. We had a good life together and we made some really great memories."

"So what's different between that, and what you and Liv have?" Dickie asked, genuinely wanting to know.

"When we were partnered together, in the beginning it was strictly professional and let me be clear: I never cheated on your mother with her. I could never do that ... to _either_ of them." Dickie nodded his head in understanding and Elliot continued, "The things we saw every day on the job, they change you. I didn't want to bring that home to you guys, so that left me with Olivia to turn to. She understood me and what I was dealing with, but it was so much more than that. She accepted all of the things about me, things your mother never truly understood. It wasn't her fault, it was mine. I wasn't an open person back then. The more Olivia and I learned about each other, the closer our bond became and I fell for her. She was, and is, my best friend. We have history and heart ache that only we can understand. When I left SVU, the way that I missed her," he sighed and shook his head "It was like I was missing my other half. Not a single day went by that I didn't think of her ... where I didn't miss her so much that I physically hurt, but I knew that I needed to try to make my marriage work for my kids' sake."

Dickie turned to face his Dad, furrowing his brow "So you stayed with Mom ... for _us_? Even though you loved Olivia?"

Elliot shrugged his shoulders "Yeah. You all deserved to have the best. I wanted to do all that I could to make sure you all had a normal life ... especially for Eli. He was so little, he still is, and I didn't want him to have a different childhood than the rest of you. Above all else, I didn't want to let you kids down."

He took a moment to absorb all his Dad was telling him "Why did you and Mom decide to call it quits?"

"One night her and I were talking about you guys and our jobs and something just clicked. That aside from our children, we were basically living separate lives. We were just two stranger's living in one house and we weren't happy with that. We both wanted better and decided that we both deserved the chance to find that again."

Dickie nodded "Okay ... that makes sense. You haven't been happy the last couple of years. I can't say the divorce was easy, for any of us, but I do understand it." He let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders "I want you both to be happy and if Olivia and Noah can do that for you then ... okay."

"Having Olivia and Noah doesn't change how much I love you ... I hope you know that. I want them to be accepted into this family. I love them, just as much as I love you," he reached out and pulled him into a hug.

"I know that," Dickie told him, returning the hug. "I've always liked Liv, and with Noah we're finally even. Just need one more to take the lead."

Elliot chuckled and clapped him on the back "Woah there now. We aren't a couple of teenagers. That probably isn't even a possibility for us, even if we did want it."

"Well, never say never. Stranger things have happened and with that super sperm you've got, we might have six more running around," he laughed along with his Dad. He stood up and pulled Elliot up with him "I'm gonna go talk to Olivia and clear the air."

"That sounds like a good idea. Have I told you how proud I am of the man you're becoming?" Elliot asked as he followed Dickie to the door.

"Maybe once or twice," he chuckled "But I know you are."

Dickie walked into the living room and found Olivia on the couch talking with the girls as Eli and Noah played on the floor, and that's when he realized it. Until that moment, he still felt a little confused about everything and the mixed emotions he was dealing with but this changed it all. Adding Olivia and Noah

only made his family better. He did care for Olivia, even though in his younger days he had made things difficult, but now that he was getting older and understood the meaning of love a lot better he understood it. Watching his sisters interact with Olivia and Eli babble away and play with Noah, he watched as two people had the ability to light up his whole family.

"Hey, Olivia, can I just have a sec?"

She looked from Dickie to Elliot, who had an encouraging smile on his face "Of course you can. I have to grab a couple things from the nursery if you just want to come with me?"

"Sure. Lead the way," he gestured for her to go ahead and he followed closely behind. Once they made it to the room she turned to face him "I'm sorry about how I've been acting. It really has nothing to do with you or Noah. It was just my own insecurities. My Dad and I talked about it, he told me a lot of what he went through to get to this point," he smiled at her and she returned it "He told me how he fell in love with you and how he gave that up to try and do right by my mom and us."

She nodded her head in understanding. They had discussed the reasons why he had left and while he never said those exact words, she knew one reason was for his kids. "He loves you all very much. When we worked together he talked about you guys constantly. He felt horrible for all of things he missed out on. I know it still hurts him ... even to this day."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted between his feet "Can I ask you something?" He inquired, slightly unsure of himself.

"Sure, go ahead," she encouraged him.

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked into her eyes "What made you fall in love with him? Like ... how did you know?"

Olivia just stood there starring at him. Her mouth was gaping slightly and she

was shifting uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry... I'm not trying to be rude or nosey. I shouldn't have asked," he said as he brushed past her and went to the door.

"No, wait Dickie," she said as she turned and grabbed his elbow before he could

open the door and he turned back to face her. "The questions are fine, I just wasn't prepared for them...that's all. Do you really want to know?"

He shrugged his shoulders "Yeah, Dad told me some of how it was for him I just want to see it from your side."

She moved and sat down on the rocker and picked up one of Noah's stuffed animals, occupying her hands. "I don't know the exact day I fell in love with him. All I know, is that one day I woke up and realized that the best thing in my life was him. Every day I went to work, the only thing that got me through it, was him. No matter what I said, no matter what I did, he never judged me and

he was always, _always_, there for me." She looked up to see Dickie sitting on the rocking ottoman facing her. "I fell in love with him because of all that he is ... good and bad. The way he cares about the ones he loves, the protector in him. The way that he can piss me off but in one minute can turn around and make it all better. How devoted and dedicated he was to the job and to your mother. He loved her, please don't doubt that," she put her hand on Dickie's shoulder and he nodded his head. "Through all of this I realized you can't control who you fall in love with. Once he left, it hit me tenfold. I never felt pain like that before. I couldn't physically function without him. Every time something good or bad happened, he was the only person I wanted to call, the only person I wanted to talk to, the only persons voice, I so desperately needed to hear. That's when I knew that the love I had for him wasn't going to go away. He was a part of me ... a part that I could never let go," she choked out as the emotions finally took over. She buried her face in the stuffed animal in her lap.

"It's okay ... please don't cry," Dickie tried to comfort her. He move his hand to rub her back, "You have him now, that's all that matters."

Olivia picked up her head to look at him and wiped away her tears "I'm sorry. I'm sure this is already difficult enough and you don't need me making it worse. I shouldn't have said any of that."

He shook his head "It was strange when I first realized you two were together but talking to you both I know that you two are better together, than you were apart." Dickie gave her a little bit of a smile "And besides, I gained another woman who genuinely cares about us and a brother. So thanks for making it even now," he chuckled and was happy when Olivia started laughing along with him. He pulled her up off of the chair "Let's go hang out and enjoy the rest of the night?"

She joined him at the door "Any time you want to talk, about _anything_, let me know. I want all of you to be comfortable with this."

"Olivia, we are ... I promise. Welcome to the family," he told her, pulling her into a hug before they left the room and joined the rest of the gang.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Finally! Enjoy!

The month of July was flying by. Elliot had officially moved in and had put his apartment on the market. Olivia had also had her meeting with the higher ups where she had told them she was going to be taking off, at least, until the middle of august and upon her return wanted more stable hours, and in no uncertain terms informed them that Noah came before the job and if that wasn't up to their standards that she would resign. For the first time in as long as she could remember, they had actually agreed to her terms and wished her well, adding that if she were to be too overwhelmed when she came back, that they could bring in someone to help share the work load.

Elliot, Olivia, and Noah had spent the 4th of July with the rest of the Stabler kids. They had went to Central Park for a picnic and enjoyed the nice weather. Olivia had gotten the chance to meet both James and Aaron, determining they were both good guys. Her and Elliot even got to enjoy a little alone time when Dickie, along with his sisters, volunteered to watch Eli and Noah.

The following couple of weeks had went well. Elliot and Olivia had spent one of the weekends baby proofing the apartment since Noah was 9 months old and was crawling all over the place. They also had made a call to Noah's case worker to update them on the changing circumstances. She made a visit to their apartment to make sure Noah was in a stable environment and being well taken care of. Olivia explained that they were together and that Elliot would also be on the petition to file for adoption. The woman was unsure of Elliot at first, claiming that she needed references and background checks to get it approved, so they had given her several names and numbers of reliable people, ranging from friends and coworkers to judges and former police commissioners. She had promised them that it shouldn't be an issue.

Olivia and Elliot were cuddling in bed talking about plans for their day, "Why can't I come to your doctor's appointment with you today?" Elliot asked as he nuzzled his face into her neck.

Olivia pulled his arms around her tighter "Because ... I don't want to take Noah there and make him sit for hours when you two could spend the day at the park, and besides, I'm sure I'm fine, El." Lately she just hasn't be feeling like herself. She was feeling dizzy and tired more often than not. She didn't want to really like to think of menopause being the cause of this but that was the most likely possibility. After her pregnancy scare with Brian, her doctor had told her she would probably be entering perimenopause within the next couple of years but it was different for every woman and simply thinking of that just made her feel old.

Elliot moved his arms up to lay across her breasts. "Ow," she yelped at his touch. "Sorry, they're just a little sore today."

"It never bothers you any other time," he smirked as he kissed her neck and wrapped a leg around her "Maybe I should examine them."

She chuckled and swatted his arm "You are so bad, but it's nothing to worry about. It usually happens around my period," she grinned, knowing that talking about her cycle usually put him in a weird mood. No sex for a week equaled a sexually frustrated, Elliot Stabler.

"Didn't you just have it?" He whined as he buried his face in her hair, inhaling the all too familiar scent that was purely Olivia. All the years he had only had the pleasure of catching a slight whiff of it if the wind blew just right or if they were working closely together, but now, he could smell it whenever he wanted and he took every chance he had to simply just enjoy it. The first couple of weeks without her he had dreaded washing his clothes because the scent of her, still lingered on some of them . Once her scent finally faded from all of his clothes it was something so small and discrete but he had missed it terribly. Just having that little bit of her was a comfort to him and now that special scent that was purely her meant home ... she was his home.

"Well I thought so, it's not really an exact science here, El," she laughed when he groaned into her hair. You couldn't pull anything over Elliot, especially when it had to do with her body and sex. "I talked to the doctor and she's going to do some blood work. About 6 months ago, she told me the menopause was on the horizon," she mumbled to him as she turned her head, burying it in the pillow.

Elliot stopped his ministrations and forced her to turn over in his arms so she was looking up at him. "Menopause?" He questioned slightly unbelieving. Elliot was under no impression he was still a teenager, feeling his age the most through the stiff joints, especially when chasing after Eli. Olivia however, still seemed like the woman he had met some 16 years ago. She was still very active, wanting to go on a jog or walk whenever she could and taking care of Noah without any complaint. She was still just as beautiful as the day he had first laid eyes on her, and a sex drive to match his.

Olivia just nodded her head as she watched his eyes for any hint of disappointment or disgust. Even though she knew Elliot loved her unconditionally and wanted nothing more than to be with her, like any woman, the doubt still crept in every once in a while. Men of Elliot's age, especially the ones who had an amazing body, gorgeous eyes, and a personality that lit up a room, wanted to be with a little young thing with her head in the clouds and not a middle aged woman.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop it. I love you, Olivia. Only you," he said sternly as he bent down to give her a passionate kiss, showing her rather than telling her, how much he loved her.

"Even when I'm old and gray?" She questioned, half joking half serious.

"Even when we're _both_ old and gray. Which, by the way, I'm closer to being than you are," he laughed and was happy to hear her laughter joining his. "But in all seriousness, no one could _ever_ compare to you and how much I'm in love with you. Even when we're old and can barely walk, you're the one I want next to me holding my hand."

" Love you," she said kissing him again.

Before it could go any further Noah's cries came through the monitor along with "Mama" and "Dada" breaking in between the sobs.

"Love you, too. I'll get him and you get ready for your doctor's appointment," he kissed her once on the cheek and rolled out of bed.

Later that day, Olivia was at her doctor's office patiently waiting for her name to be called. After reading the pamphlet on menopause that she grabbed from the wall for the tenth time she finally heard the magic words.

"Olivia Benson?" The nurse called out to the waiting room.

Olivia threw the pamphlet in her purse and made her way to the door "Yes, that's me."

"Please follow me this way," she told her as she walked down the hall. They stopped to get Olivia's weight and at the bathroom for Olivia to give a urine sample before taking her to her room.

Once in the room the nurse got her blood pressure and gave her a gown to change into. She double checked on the symptoms she had called in about and informed her that the doctor would be in to see her shortly.

Elliot was pushing Noah on the swings and hoping Olivia's appointment was going well. He knew that she didn't like the fact that she was getting older, especially being reminded of it, and she just wasn't feeling good about herself. Sometimes he wished that she could see herself the way that he saw her.

An amazingly beautiful woman with a gorgeous smile, and a laugh that could change your day. She had the biggest heart out of anyone he knew and was the most compassionate person he had ever met. On the outside she had a hard exterior, but if you just talked to her for one minute, the walls would break down. She was the person that he could always come to and she would always, _always_, be there for him. It didn't matter if they were fighting or not, day or night, if he ever needed anything she would be there in a heartbeat.

Olivia was the person who made him better, the person he was trying so hard to become. He would never be a person like Olivia though because she was that once in a life time person you got to meet for just a split second. For him though, hopefully she was the woman that he would one day call his wife.

"Noah, can you give me a big smile for your mama?" He cooed at Noah and received the biggest smile that was solely reserved for his mother."Let's send this to your mama and then how about we stop by the jewelry store and you can help me pick her up something really special?" Elliot asked Noah as he scooped him up out of the swing and kissed him on the cheek.

Olivia changed into her gown and waited for her doctor. Her phone buzzed and it was a txt from Elliot. He had sent her a picture of Noah on the swings smiling, wearing a "Mommy's Boy" T-shirt. _God_, did she love that little boy.

There was a quick knock on the door before it swung open and her long time doctor, Dr. Childs, walked into the room "Hello, Olivia. How are you doing today?"

Olivia shook her hand "I'm doing alright. I don't know what it is but I've just been feeling a little bit off recently."

"Let's go over what's been going on with you," she told Olivia as she grabbed her file and pulled up a stool.

"I've been more tired than usual and I've had these dizzy spells, which are giving me the most concern. God forbid I'm holding Noah and I fall or something happens and he gets hurt, I'd never forgive myself," she confided in her doctor. "I got my period the first week of May and then in the middle of June I had some very light bleeding that only lasted for two or three days. I know my period has never been that regular but last month seemed different and my breasts have been very sore the last few days also."

After getting down Olivia's symptoms and going over some history, Dr. Childs did a physical, checking off her list as she went. She also did a bimanual exam, "Hmm," she murmured, catching herself too late, hoping Olivia didn't hear her.

"What? What's wrong?" Olivia instantly questioned, looking at her doctor with worry etched on her face.

"Just calm down, it's nothing bad," Dr. Childs said, trying to calm Olivia down. There was no sense in either upsetting her patient or getting her hopes up if she was wrong.

Olivia sat up on the table once Dr. Childs was finished "Well what is it then? What was the _hmm_ about?"

"Well, let me draw some blood and send it out, hopefully I'll get you some more definite results in a couple of days," Dr. Childs told Olivia as she took some supplies out of one of the cabinets and wheeled over a stand.

Before Olivia could protest or question her any further, there was a knock on the door and a younger woman peeked her head in the room "Dr. Childs, I have the results from Ms. Bensons urine sample."

"Ah yes, just what I needed. Thank you, Jenny," Dr. Childs replied as she moved from her stool to the door, taking the manila folder. She looked over the folder and set it down on the counter "Well, it's not menopause."

Olivia looked at her doctor, doing her best to read her expression but didn't have any luck "You're sure it's not menopause? I thought that's what you said was going to happen soon."

Dr. Childs chuckled " You are most certainly _not_ going through menopause."

Now Olivia was just confused. Her Doctor wasn't usually one to beat around the bush and she could probably count on one hand how many times she had laughed over the last five years "So ... what is it then?"

Dr. Childs walked to Olivia and rested a hand on her shoulder "Olivia ... You're pregnant."


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: I'm so happy you are all still enjoying this! There's a lot of you out there so please don't be shy, let me know what you think, good or bad. Your reviews and input give me great ideas and inspire me to keep going. Enjoy!

As soon as she was allowed, Olivia had left her doctor's office, making an appointment for the following week. After they had told her she was pregnant, everything was a blur. The parts she did remember involved her doctor throwing out words like high risk and options, and some type of testing. Her

doctor had given her papers and pamphlets on everything under the sun, and she would undoubtedly have to read later when she was in a better frame of mind. They wanted her to answer all sorts of questions and were asking her to make decisions, and the only thing she could think about, the only thing she needed, was Elliot.

This was their baby, and he deserved to be there for these conversations and she wasn't going to cheat him out of a second of it. _Our baby_. It was still so new and foreign to her that she was almost in denial. Being pregnant was enough of a shock, but being pregnant with Elliot's child was something she had never dreamed of. That fact, in and of itself, was enough to completely overwhelm her.

All of her thoughts and emotions started at terrified and went the whole way through to excitement. At the age she was and the stage she was at in her life, being pregnant wasn't really on the top of her list of things to do, and honestly hadn't even crossed her mind as being a possibility. So much had changed in her life in less than six months, and all for the better. She had Noah, who was the greatest gift the world had ever given her, and to top it off, she had Elliot. There wasn't anything else she wanted or needed. Her life was complete.

Olivia needed to clear her head ... get some perspective. She walked through the streets for a while thinking about her life. The journey she had been on to get to this point, the ups and the downs, all she had overcome, and where she came from. Ever since she became a mother, she had been thinking about her mother more often, and with her recent news, it had bubbled to the surface.

Growing up with an abusive alcoholic mother had been horrible, something she didn't wish on anyone, but she was the person she was today, because of it. She could never understand how her mother, the woman who was supposed to love and protect her, could be the cause of so much pain. When she started working at SVU, she got to see the other side of the story and see the victims deal with pain they were going through. Several of them had done it the same way her mother had which had allowed her to see that she wasn't the only one who chose to cope the way she did. However, she still couldn't understand how someone could treat a child the way her mother had treated her. Unfortunately for her, not only did she have a firsthand account, but that also came with the job. Being with Noah, she couldn't for the life of her comprehend how someone could do such horrible things to a sweet, beautiful, innocent child.

Olivia made her way through the city, finally stopping at the 9/11 Memorial. Whenever she felt like she was drowning she would come here. It was a place that had held so much devastation and heartache for so many people and it was completely overwhelming and hard to process. The rubble that had been the site of such tragedy was now replaced with such beauty. She over one of the waterfalls and all of the names engraved on the ledge and it made her feel small. She was just one person in this huge world with simple problems compared to what most of the world faced on a day to day basis. Comparing her problems and worries to a bigger picture of the world, even one day such as 9/11, made her see how small her problems really were.

Taking a deep breath she took one more look around and started on her way home. She could handle anything that was thrown her way. Having a baby was one of the things she had always dreamed of and even though this wasn't the way she had planned, she was happy. She was carrying a life inside of her, a tiny little human that was part her and part Elliot and nothing would ever compare to creating a child out of love. She hoped Elliot was going to be happy and excited but she was also preparing herself for any other reaction he might have because she knew that this would be overwhelming and would probably bring on all sorts of emotions for him, just like it did for her.

Walking through the door of the apartment Olivia was hit with an amazing aroma filled with garlic. She shut the door, dropped her keys and bag by the table and walked towards the kitchen. She found a shirtless Elliot, sporting an apron which she didn't even know they owned, and Noah on his hip, covered in wet noodles.

Olivia made her way to Elliot, wrapping her arms around his waist. He jumped slightly, but relaxed against her when he felt her lips on his shoulder. "How are my boys doing in here?"

Noah had finally caught sight of Olivia and was doing everything in his power to get to her. "Mama," he squealed as he reached his arms out to her.

Olivia took him from Elliot, peppering his face with kisses. She let out a laugh when she felt a cold, wet noodle, land on her chest "Did you cook some pasta for me little man?"

"I guess everyone's just forgotten about dear old dad over here," he mumbled, feigning hurt as he turned back to the stove.

Olivia held Noah close "We could never forget about daddy now could we Noah? We love him."

Noah looked towards Elliot "Dada."

Elliot turned back around, kissing Noah on the head, and leaving a sweet kiss on Olivia's lips "Love you too. How was your appointment? Did your doctor figure out what's going on?"

Olivia turned around, bouncing Noah on her hip as she walked to the living room. She didn't want to just blurt out the news and if he was looking at her, he would know that she was hiding something. "It was fine. We can talk about if after dinner," she told him, effectively shutting down the conversation. She laid down on the couch and cuddled with Noah.

Elliot watched as she held Noah close to her, running her fingers through his hair. When she had finally made it home, it was hours after he had expected her. He worried the whole day about how her appointment had went. She was avoiding him now which was something she only did when she was scared, nervous, or both.

While he was waiting for her, his mind had wondered to all the possible outcomes and he just hoped she was okay. He couldn't bare to think about what he would do if something was really wrong, if god forbid she was _sick_. He was a strong man but he was _nothing_ without her, and he honestly wasn't sure he would survive without her. For now though, he pushed those thoughts aside and enjoyed the wonderful evening he had planned.

The table was set and candles were lit throughout the room. Elliot turned on the small stereo in the kitchen and let the music fill the air. They sat down with Noah and enjoyed a lovely meal. Dinner was rather quiet, filled with long gazes and slight touches. Once they were finished, Elliot got

Noah out of his high chair and held him on his lap. He pulled a little black box out of his pocket. "Noah and I got you something little on our way home today," he told her as he reached over and put it down in front of her. "I hope you like it."

"El, you didn't have to, really," Olivia protested as she picked up the box.

"You deserve it, Liv," he encourage her.

She gave him a sweet smile and pulled open the box "El, it's beautiful!" Inside the box was a small gold charm with a dark blue gem in the middle.

"It's supposed to represent Noah. I thought you could put it on the necklace you wear so no matter where you are he's always with you, close to your heart," he told her as he kissed Noah's head.

She leaned across the table to give him a kiss and dropped one on Noah's forehead "You two are so sweet and I love it." She took off her necklace and slid the charm on next to the "FEARLESSNESS" tag that sat in the middle, "Can you put it back on for me?"

"Of course," he replied, standing up and giving Noah over to her. She moved her hair out of the way and he clasped it behind her neck. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head "I love you."

Olivia bent her neck back and captured Elliot's lips in a slow, yet passionate kiss, "I love you too."

Elliot pulled away , "I have one more thing for you."

"No El, really, you've outdone yourself tonight! The dinner was amazing and my new," he silenced her with another kiss.

"Please, be quiet," he chuckled and she nodded.

He got down on one knee in front of her and she let out a gasp, "Elliot! What are you doing?"

"Olivia Benson, I have known you for 16 years and have loved you for at least a decade. Getting to be with you for the last two months and being allowed to love you openly has been the most incredible thing that's ever happened to me. You are the most amazing woman on this planet and you have truly changed my life. You make me want to be a better person, a better man, a better father," he trailed off as he kissed Noah's forehead. "I've been without you and I can't do it again. I wouldn't survive it. I want to be here with you for the rest of my life. I want us to raise Noah and enjoy our family." Elliot reached into his pocket and pulled out a small red box, opening it up to her "Olivia Benson, will you do you me the greatest honor and marry me?"

Olivia was completely stunned. She looked from Elliot down to the ring. It was a platinum eternity ring completely made up of cushion cut diamonds. Noah was wiggling in her lap trying to grab the box from Elliot but Olivia was just sitting there. She loved this man with all of her heart and she couldn't believe that this was happening to her, there was no way she was this lucky.

Elliot was starting to panic when a few moments went by and she still hadn't said yes "Liv, baby. You're scaring me. Please, say something."

She looked back into Elliot's eyes and it just came flying out "I'm pregnant."

Elliot dropped the box from his hands and sat back on his leg "Wait ... what? How?"

Olivia looked down at him "What do you mean how, Elliot? I don't think I need to explain to you how babies are made. We haven't really been careful about it either."

She was right about one thing there, they weren't being careful at all "Yeah but I thought you said it was menopause ?"

"I said it was probably menopause," she sighed.

Elliot rested his hands on her knees. "Are you happy?" He asked her, trying to read the emotions swirling around in her eyes.

Olivia rested her hand on his and gave it a gentle squeeze "I'm a lot of things right now, but I am happy. How about you?"

"I couldn't be happier," he told her as he sat up, cupped her face in his hands and gave her a long passionate kiss. Once they broke apart, Elliot picked the ring box up from the floor and held it up to her "You still haven't answered my question though, so I'll ask again ... Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she smiled and held out her left hand and he slipped the ring on, perfectly fitting on her finger. She ran a hand through his hair and brought his face to her, covering his lips with hers. She allowed her lips to linger on his, sucking on his bottom lip. When she pulled back and she rested a hand on his cheek "You are the most amazing man I have ever known and I love you more than words could possibly explain."

"I love you so much," he kissed her lips again and rested his forehead against hers "You're pregnant ... we're having a baby."

Olivia nuzzled her nose against his and left a feather light kiss against his lips "We're having a baby."


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Over 300 reviews! You all are truly amazing and you have no idea how much it means to me. As always, keep your thoughts coming and enjoy!

Olivia was waking up when she heard Elliot's voice. She slowly pried her eyelids apart, forcing away the last remains of sleep she looked down towards Elliot. His hand was resting against her bare stomach and his breath was tickling her skin as he spoke.

"You, little one, are going to be amazing. I never thought that your momma and I would ever get here. I hoped like hell we would, but I lost my way for a little bit. I love your momma and your brother Noah more than anything. I have five kids other kids too, they're a lot older than you and they're gonna go nuts about you. I love you little one," Elliot finished, kissing her stomach when he felt her hand on his head and heard her sniffle. He looked up at her and she was starring back at him. "You weren't supposed to hear that," he told her as he pulled her shirt back down and made his way up her body.

Olivia took his face in her hands and brought him to her, kissing his lips. She rubbed her thumb across his cheek "You are so sweet, baby."

"Only for you," he said kissing her nose. He laid down next to her and draped his arm over her, pulling her close to him.

She linked their hands together over her stomach and admired her new ring. "You did so good, El. It's the most beautiful piece of jewelry I have ever had. How did you know which one was the right one?"

He lifted their joined hands and brought them to his lips, "I looked at all the ones they had and when I saw it I just knew it was the right one. It was so different and unique, just like you, and I feel like it just represents that our love is never ending. I will always love you."

"You are so incredible," she said as she turned in his arms and hugged him close. He moved over her and started kissing her neck down to her shoulder, "Sometimes I still can't believe you're the same man I've known all these years."

Elliot let out a sigh and rolled off of her onto his back and starred at the ceiling.

She sensed his change in mood and turned to face him "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm gonna grab a shower," he said as he pushed himself off the bed.

"Wait," she pleaded as she reached out and grabbed his shoulder pulling him back

down to sit on the bed, "Talk to me."

Elliot shrugged her hand off his shoulder and stood back up "Not right now." He walked to the bathroom and turned around taking one last look at Olivia and shutting the door.

She heard the water start and laid back down, trying to figure out what just happened. He was being so sweet and gentle but he had done a complete 360. He hasn't shut down on her like that since they were partners going through a rough patch. They were usually open and honest about how things were affecting them or how they were feeling, and watching him completely withdrawal from her had jarred her. It brought her back to a time filled with secrets and hidden feelings, a time that was laced with pain, and that wasn't something she ever wanted to have with him again.

She sat up and thought about what to do. On one hand she could let him calm down and think about things and they could talk later or she could go in there and try to work it out now because every second they spent like this she feared that the life they were building would crumble down around her.

Elliot had turned the water on as hot as it would go and let the steam fill the room. The three years he spent away from her he had used to better himself, making changes in himself. She was right; he wasn't the same person he was back then. He had worked so hard to get to the point that he was but it was still easier for him to revert back to what was most comfortable.

His father wasn't an open person and that was a trait he had gotten from him. Always being told to be a man or to toughen up, to quit acting like a baby and grow up, it really wore on him. When he got older he realized that it was easier to live his life being cold and closed off, always keeping people at a safe distance because they would never get close enough to hurt him. That was one of the bad things about him and Olivia being so similar. It was in their nature to push away their feelings and to hide the truth when things got too complicated, but he was done with that now. He didn't want to go back to that, back to the old Elliot. He had way too much to lose this time.

He heard the door open and close and he was thankful for it. He heard her clothes hit the floor and the sliding glass shower door opened. He felt the cool air making its way in, but it was quickly cut off. Then there was nothing. No hands wrapping around him or a kiss on his neck, just silence filled with the sound of the water hitting against his body. He turned around and Olivia was standing behind him, her back was touching the far wall. She was putting distance between them, in more ways than one, and tears were streaming down over her cheeks.

"Liv," he breathed out as he reached out to touch her face, only to be blocked by her hand.

"No ... please don't," she let out and wrapped her arms around herself. "What happened? I

don't understand, Elliot."

He dropped his hands down by his sides "I don't know ... it's just hard sometimes."

She dropped her head and looked at the ring on her left hand, "What is? Being with me?"

"No! Not at all ... that's not what I meant," he sighed and shook his head.

"Then what is it? Why did you close up on me?" She asked him, looking up at his face.

Elliot tried once more to reach out to her and was relieved when she let him rest his hand on her cheek. He swiped his thumb over her cheek, removing away the tears that had left a trail behind "Please don't cry, Liv ... you know how much it hurts me to see you like this."

Olivia rested her hand on top of his , "Then talk to me."

He kissed her forehead and let his lips linger on her skin, "I let you in. You know everything about me. You probably know me better than I know myself. I have worked so hard to be open with my thoughts and emotions, especially with you. I learned by not being open and honest I lost you and I can't lose you again, but it's still so easy for me to just go back to how I used to be. To close myself off and push everyone out is just what comes natural to me, but I don't want to do that to you. You deserve more than the man I used to be."

Olivia moved back and looked up at him. She watched as the water ran through his wet hair and trickled down his face. She put her hand on his forehead and pushed it back into his hair "I know that it's hard for you to always be so open and vulnerable, that's not who you are ... or were, but every time you bare your soul to me and allow yourself to be vulnerable, I fall in love with you even more, and believe it or not, I learn more about you." She moved her hand down his face, resting it on his cheek she ran her thumb across his lips. "What do you need from me? What can I do to help you be that person?"

She was truly amazing and would always be able to surprise him. He reached around her and pulled her to him, leaving a gentle kiss against her lips and resting his forehead against hers "Keep loving me the way you do and don't let me shut down on you." He brushed some damp hair away from her face " A lot has changed for both of us and its going to keep on changing. Can I do anything for you to make things easier for you? You carry a lot of the burden most of the time and we're equals. I want us to grow _together_ and _never_ apart.

She looked up into his crystal clear blue eyes "Don't let me run."

"Never, Olivia." He picked up her left hand and kissed her ring "This right here means that no one gets to run. We're in this together."

She held his hand in hers "Good or bad, we're stronger together than we are apart. We work as a team and we grow together, as a family."

Elliot pulled her with him under the spray and let it hit both of them. He kissed her passionately on the lips, running his tongue along her bottom lip until her lips parted and he slipped his tongue through her lips. He cupped the back of her neck, deepening the kiss as much as he could, taking all that he could get. The kiss broke and he moved down to her ear, sucking and nibbling on her earlobe. He was rewarded when a moan escaped from her lips.

"El," she said almost breathlessly as she moved her hands up his back, pulling him flush against her. He groaned into her ear when their bodies pressed together.

He moved from her ear down to her neck, sucking on her pulse point. He felt her hands travel down his back, lower and lower, until they reached his backside and she pulled him even tighter against her. "God, I need you right now," he let out in a throaty growl as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He backed her against the wall and made his way back to her lips.

Olivia wrapped he arms around his neck and ran her hands through his hair as her lips descended upon his neck, "Better make it quick, Noah's gonna be up any minute." Elliot wasted no time as they made love right there in the shower.

They got out of the shower and were drying off, or at least Olivia was. "El, you gotta stop," she chuckled as he started kissing her neck again "Seriously though we need to get dressed."

"Fine," he pouted as he wrapped a towel around his waist and sat down on the edge of the tub.

"You do that on purpose. You know I think you're sexy when you pout," Olivia cooed as she tilted his face up to her and left a sweet kiss on his lips.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. Once the kiss broke he turned her in his arms and moved her towel out of the way as he splayed his palm across her abdomen. There was the very beginning of a bump forming right below her belly button, invisible and undetected to most people, but not to him, "You're getting a bump already."

"Where?"she asked him. He took her hand in his and placed it on the spot his had just been. She ran her hand over her stomach and felt the tiniest change when she ran her hand lower, "Wow."

He rested his hand on top of hers and looked up at her "It's incredible."

"It is," she said as she dipped her head and captured his lips with hers "You've been through this before though."

"It's still just as special. I've never had a baby with you before and I get to experience the whole thing with the love of my life," he said as he kissed her stomach. "What could me more special than that?"

Olivia ran her hand through his hair and hugged him to her body, dropping a kiss to the top of his head "God, I love you."

He stood up and kissed her forehead "I love you too." And as if on cue the phone rang and Noah's cries filled the room.

"You get Noah and I'll get the phone," Olivia told him as she made her way to the kitchen and Elliot pulled on his shirt and walked to Noah's room.

She picked up the phone and saw it was her doctor's office "Hello?"

" Olivia? It's Dr. Childs."

"Oh, hello. Is everything okay? Did you get my blood work back?" Olivia asked as she fiddled with a pen that was sitting on the counter.

"Yes I have them here. I can officially confirm your pregnancy and it seems like you're about six or seven weeks, but I can get you better estimate with your first ultrasound. Everything looks normal, your hormones are at a good level and there's nothing else to report right now."

Olivia dropped the pen on the counter "Wait ... so everything's okay? We're okay?"

"Yes Olivia. You and your baby are healthy right now, but a lot can happen. I called you in prenatal vitamins that you'll have to pick up. Have you been nauseous? How is the dizziness?"

"I feel a little sick, but nothing too bad. I still have some dizziness, but at least I know the cause now," she said as she leaned back against the counter.

"The morning sickness will probably hit soon and the prenatal vitamins might make it worse. If you have any bleeding or cramping call me and go to the hospital immediately. You're at the highest risk for miscarriage right now. I know I overwhelmed you the other day but there's a lot of things that you need to know and things that need to happen to make sure we get your baby here safe. I gave you some papers and pamphlets so if you have a chance to go over some of that before your next appointment and I can answer any of your questions the. I'll go over everything more in depth with you at the appointment as well."

Well, she was overwhelmed again, but the only bit of it she needed to really hear and understand was that both she and the baby were healthy. "Okay. Elliot and I will try to get through as much of it as we can. Thank you for calling, Dr. Childs."

"Please, Olivia, call me Kim. We're going to be seeing a lot of each other over the next several months. Please don't hesitate to call or email me with any questions or concerns you're having."

"I will and thanks again, Kim. Have a nice weekend," Olivia said as Elliot came out of the nursery with Noah on his hip.

"You too, Olivia. Take it easy and rest, I'll see you next week."

"See you next week," Olivia said and hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Elliot asked as he passed Noah to Olivia.

Olivia kissed Noah's cheek and cuddled him close "The doctor. Well I'm pregnant," she chuckled and Elliot gave her a quick peck on the lips "She said I'm around six weeks but she'll know more after our appointment next week." She looked at him and saw the unasked question on his face "We're both healthy."

He felt his body visibly relax and he let out a breath and kissed her forehead "Good. That's all that matters."


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Don't be shy! Let me know what you're thinking. Enjoy!

Elliot was off for the summer and he was enjoying every minute of it. With Olivia being off as well, they got to spend every minute together. While to most people that would be too much and become annoying very quickly, they loved it. They had never gotten an opportunity to spend time with one another uninterrupted like this and being able to spend it with both Olivia and Noah, it was wonderful. Noah was growing so quickly and being able to watch as he hit every milestone, no matter how small, was a gift to Elliot.

The new family would spend lazy days on the couch or go to the park, even making an occasional stop down at the precinct. Even though she was off, Fin, Nick, or Amanda would call her from time to time to get her input on certain cases.

Elliot was laying on the couch with Olivia in one arm and Noah in the other, both sleeping. The two sleeping bodies in his arms held his heart, and the woman in his right arm was carrying the most precious thing. Over the last week he really had the time to think about it and this baby was such an amazing gift. He never thought that he would ever get this chance but he was thankful he had. This woman had not only given him herself, in every sense of the word, but she had given him Noah and she was giving him this new baby. She was breathing life back into him. Together, they were creating the family they had both dreamed about, and the one Olivia so deeply deserved.

The morning sickness had started a few days ago and he knew that this pregnancy was going to take a toll on her. When Kathy was pregnant with Eli, it had been hard and she had been several years younger than Olivia was now, but Olivia strong. Throughout everything, he just hoped he could be everything she was going to need and that she would lean on him for strength and support.

Elliot watched as Noah stirred in his sleep. His arm moving to rest on Elliot's chest and his lashes moved against the tops of his cheeks. As if Olivia sensed it, her hand made its way across Elliot's chest and to Noah's stomach. She moved her hand up to his arms and down to his feet, resting it on his chest. She nuzzled her face into Elliot's chest and let out a sigh.

Elliot brought his hand up and stoked it through her hair. She was never more peaceful than when she asleep in his arms. One of her arms was resting on Noah and the other was protectively splayed across their unborn child.

He hadn't told her, but he had caught her awake in the middle of the night on her phone under the covers. While he hadn't asked what she was doing, he was sure it had to do with the baby. They had put off reading through all of the pamphlets and papers until the day before the appointment, and since the appointment was tomorrow, they would be going through it later today.

They wanted to live in that perfect little world for just a while longer. That state of ignorant bliss that the pregnancy would go well, that Olivia would remain healthy and their baby would be born perfect ... in every way. The pamphlets and papers threatened to shatter that. They were filled with statistics and proven facts of how unlikely a healthy child, and easy pregnancy, would be. He was going to hold onto that hope for as long as he could, and whatever journey they were going to face, they would do so together. Elliot ran his fingers through Olivia's hair a while longer until he also fell asleep.

Elliot awoke a while later when a flash had startled him. He blinked quickly trying to adjust to the lighting when he heard Olivia curse under her breath.

"Sorry," Olivia whispered when she saw his eyes focus on her. She walked back over to him and rested her hand on his cheek, "You two looked so cute I had to take a picture. I thought my flash was off."

"It's okay," he replied as he pulled her down to give her a kiss. He tasted mint on her lips "Were you sick?"

A guilty look appeared on her face and she nodded her head, "Yeah, but it wasn't bad."

Elliot sighed "Liv, what did I tell you?"

She sat back on the coffee table, "We're in this together, and I know that. I didn't want to wake you up and I promise you, I was fine."

He moved Noah to his other side and rested his hand on her knee, "You know I worry because I love you."

"I know," she said kissing him again," I love you too, but I was fine and whenever I need you I will tell you, I promise."

"Okay. I'm here for you every step of the way, for whatever you need. I mean it," he told her as he pulled her back down to lay with him.

She rested her head on his chest and ran her fingers through Noah's hair, "He's probably the most perfect thing I've ever known."

"He's pretty incredible," he whispered as he rubbed his thumb down Noah's leg."How about we get started on those pamphlets now?"

She sighed against his chest, "Do we have to?"

"I guess not," he chuckled and kissed her head, "But I think we should be at least somewhat informed for tomorrow don't you think?"

"I guess you have a point there. I'm just nervous about what it's all going to say," she told him.

He wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her back, "Me too, but I think we just need to go into this remembering that these are just possibilities and we just have to have faith that we have made it this far and believe in our baby."

"Okay," she sniffled and turned her head up and kissed his cheek.

"I'll put him in the crib and you grab the papers," he said kissing her forehead.

She kissed Noah's head and got up from the couch, "I'll grab us some drinks."

Elliot took Noah to his nursery and Olivia went to the kitchen. He came back out just in time to watch her dump out the contents of her bag.

"When you said it was a lot, I didn't picture quite this much," he said as he picked up a few papers from off of the ground and added them to the rather large pile on the coffee table.

"You're telling me," she chuckled and dropped down onto the couch, "She just started handing me all this stuff. I had no clue what to even do."

He sat down next to her and grabbed a stack, "How about you take a pile and I'll take a pile and then we can discuss?"

She took a stack from him and settled down against him, "Works for me."

They read pamphlet after pamphlet and paper after paper. Slowly the stacks in their hands began shrinking and the stack on the table began to rise. They finished the last paper and sat back on the couch.

"Reading all of that was a terrible move," Olivia quipped darkly.

Elliot put his arm around her and pulled her into his side, "Where do you want to start?"

She rested her head on his shoulder, "Well, I have a fifty percent chance of a miscarriage before twenty weeks and there is twice the risk of giving birth to a still born baby."

Elliot held her tighter and rested his other hand on her stomach, "We're gonna be okay."

"I know. Let's just get all of the bad things out now," she said, resting her hand on top of his.

He kissed the side of her head, "There's a higher risk for Downs and other birth defects."

"I read about the testing. The uh ... amniocentesis. It tests for things like that. We could look into having that done." She already knew what his answer would be but she at least wanted to voice that option.

"What's the risks of the tests?" They needed to be open and explore every option. Instantly shutting it down and going on the defensive wasn't going to help anything.

Olivia reached out to the table and flipped though a couple of pamphlets before finding the one she was looking for, "The risks are relatively low, but it does carry a risk of miscarriage." She gave him the pamphlet and he flipped through it, stopping to reread the page that listed the risks.

Elliot set it down on the table and turned to her, "Where's your head at on it? What's your gut telling you?"

She pulled her legs up under her and let her head rest against the back of the couch, "I really don't know this time. On one hand it would be nice to see what's really going on in there and be able to prepare for something, god forbid there was anything wrong with the baby at least we would know ahead of time. On the other hand, I already have so many risks so why willingly increase them?"

He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb against her buckles, "All we've been talking about is all of the bad things that could happen, but I was reading the statistics of how likely we were to even _get_ pregnant. Do you know what our chances were?"

"Not the exact number but probably slim," she said looking at him.

He pushed some hair out of her eyes, "About five percent. That's just the number for having an older first time mother, not to mention the fact that I'm almost 50 and my fertility declines also, which I didn't know. So that probably lowers our chances even more."

"I didn't realize how low it was," she said taking his hand in hers.

He brought their hands to his lips and left a kiss on her knuckles, "Me either, so when we talk about doing the testing and there's a chance we could lose this baby I just think of how lucky we are to even have gotten pregnant in the first place. I don't want to jeopardize this pregnancy because we probably won't get another chance."

"If I lost this baby..." She trailed off as tears filled her eyes and she took a deep breath, "There wouldn't be any chance of another. I wouldn't be able to go through that."

He hugged her close to him and kissed into her hair, whispering reassurances into her ear. "We can't think about that. We need to be positive."

She pulled back to look at him tears staining her cheeks, "How can you be positive when everything we've read is telling us how dangerous this is? That our baby might not survive, and even if it does, it'll probably be sick?"

"Because Olivia, these are all just possibilities and worst case scenarios. When we were partners, how many times did we go into something thinking worst case scenario? A lot. Now how many times did we watch the turnout be way better than we could have hoped? A lot. Miracles happen every day. This baby alone is a miracle," he told her resting his hand on her stomach.

She held his hand in hers and rested them on her stomach, "But what if the baby's sick? What if I caused it?"

He wiped away some of the tears running down her face, "I have faith in you and in us, that we will be okay, and that whatever happens, we can handle it. It's not either one of our faults if the baby is sick, you have to believe that. Everything happens for a reason and I believe that it's God's will. If the baby is sick we will deal with it and give this baby the best life possible. I love this baby so much already and it being sick wouldn't change that or how much I want him or her. I have faith in this baby, and that he or she will get here safely and I believe that our baby is healthy."

She sniffled and wiped under her eyes, "I love this baby too ... so much. This baby is half me and half you and it's definitely got one thing going for it, stubbornness," she said chuckling, trying to lighten the mood. Elliot laughed with her and kissed her forehead. "I believe in our baby and how strong he or

she is. We won't do the testing."

Elliot nodded his head and kissed her lips, still wet with tears, "Okay."

"Okay," she nodded and rested her forehead against his. "I'm so happy we're doing this together, I don't know if I could handle all of this with anyone other than you, I wouldn't want to. I love you, Elliot."

He nuzzled his nose against hers, "I love you too. From now on, let's look at the positive. We have a roof over our head, we couldn't want for anything, we have a beautiful amazing son, and we're together. We have been blessed with this little miracle and anything from this point on can only add to our lives."

She gave him a peck on the lips, "Only good things."

"Only good things. You know I'm here for you, right? If you're up late at night worrying like you have been, talk to me. I know how dark it gets up there," he said tapping her temple. "We can work through our fears, and everything else, together."

"I just don't want to burden you with all of the things I think about," she said guiltily.

He rubbed her arm trying to bring her some comfort, "We share the burden. There isn't anything you can throw at me that I can't handle."

Olivia kissed his cheek, "Thank you for always making it better."

"You do the same for me," he kissed her forehead. "How about once Noah wakes up, we all go out for a walk, clear our heads a little?"

"That sounds like a great idea," she said cuddling in against his side.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Thank you all for the continued support. Feel free to drop me your thoughts and comments. Enjoy!

The morning had gone by painfully slow. The worry and anxiety that had been generating between the pair had served for a rather quiet morning. Olivia had paced through the apartment drinking tea for most of the morning while Elliot had spent time with Noah. Olivia was the type of person who focused all of her energy on the issue, worried herself senseless until she was sick. Elliot, on the other hand, needed the distraction. Worrying and stressing over something he couldn't even change in the end was too much for him. He had faith in what the future would hold and he wanted to stay calm and collected for Olivia.

They were finally standing outside of Olivia's doctor's office. Elliot had Noah on his hip and Olivia's hand in his. She was staring up at the red brick building that would probably be the only place that could make or break them. This building held the answers to their future.

He followed her gaze up to the one of the windows, "We're going to be fine, Liv."

She looked back over to him and gave him a smile, "I know. I have a good feeling about it."

"Good," he said kissing her forehead. "Positive thoughts."

"Positive thoughts," she repeated and led him into the building. They took the elevator up to the 4th floor and made their way to the waiting room. Olivia signed in and sat down next to Elliot and Noah. Noah reached for Olivia, "Mama."

"Come here my sweet boy," she cooed as she took Noah from Elliot. She held him close and kissed his cheek, rocking him gently. "I love you," she whispered into his ear as she nuzzled into his cheek. Noah turned in her arms so he was lying across her body, the side of his face was resting against her breast. He yawned and settled in against her, staring up at her like she held all of the answers, like she held his world.

Elliot was watching the exchange and his heart swelled. Olivia was an amazing mother and he couldn't wait to see her with the baby.

They called Olivia's name and she followed the nurse, Elliot right behind her. They stopped at the scale and Olivia shifted a now sleeping Noah into Elliot's arms. He stirred a little bit so she kissed his cheek and whispered something softly into his ear.

She turned back to the scale and Elliot grabbed her hand and turned her back to face him. He cupped her cheek and pulled her face to his and gave her a sweet kiss, "You're incredible and I love you."

An "Awe," escaped from the nurses lips. She blushed and covered her mouth with her hand, "I'm so sorry."

Olivia kissed Elliot's cheek, "Love you too." She turned back to the nurse and laid a gentle hand on her arm, "You're fine, really."

The nurse weighed Olivia, finding that she had gained two pounds since last week, and took her to a room. She gave her a fresh sheet and told her to undress from the waist down. Elliot stepped out into the hall with Noah while Olivia got settled.

"You must be Elliot and Noah," said as she approached them.

"Uh ... yes," Elliot replied as he shook her outstretched hand.

"Olivia has talked about both of you quite a lot. He's so precious," she said as she rubbed Noah's back. "Well we better get in there, she's not very patient," she chuckled and turned to knock on the door.

"Uh ... Doctor?" Elliot said hesitantly and she turned back to him. "Just take care of them. Get them both through this safely ... she's my world."

rested her hand on his shoulder, "I promise you that I will do my best to keep Olivia and your baby safe and healthy."

Elliot nodded his head, "Thank you."

"It's my job," she replied and knocked on the door again.

Elliot was sitting in a chair up by Olivia's head. had done most of the exam and was setting up to do the ultrasound. Since it was still too early to do a standard ultrasound through the skin they were doing a transvaginal one instead.

"This might be a little uncomfortable," warned her.

Olivia held Elliot's hand and sucked in her breath. She looked towards Elliot who looked more uncomfortable than she did and also a little concerned. She squeezed his hand and he looked over at her, "It doesn't hurt." Elliot looked over her face for any sign of pain and then nodded his head.

"Okay you two. Here's your baby," said, turning the monitor around to

face them. They both stared at the screen and watched as measured different

things and took snapshots of what she was looking at.

"So this is the baby," she told them pointing to a small dark shadowed area with a small lighter area in the middle."You're looking to be about seven weeks so that puts your due date around March second. We'll be able to get a better idea as the pregnancy progresses so that might change. The baby is about half an inch long or the size of a blueberry to give you some perspective. It's hands and feet have started forming from its developing arms and legs. "

It was the smallest form of life but it was still the most amazing thing to Elliot and Olivia. In roughly seven months their blueberry sized embryo would be their baby. The tiny hands and feet that were told to look more like paddles right now would be the pudgy soft hands and feet that they could smother in kisses.

flipped a switch and the room was filled with the sound of their baby's heartbeat.

Tears sprang to Olivia's eyes, as well as Elliot's, as the most glorious sound filled the room. He stood up, being mindful of Noah, moving her chin so she was looking up at him. He brushed some hair away from her eyes dropped a lingering kiss to her lips. Once he pulled back he wiped away some of the stray tears making their way down her cheeks, "That's our baby."

"I think that's the most incredible sound I've ever heard," she whispered, wiping more tears from her face. Nothing had ever been so comforting, so reassuring. Together they had created life, a tiny living human that was growing inside of her. Their baby's heartbeat was everything. It was the reason she had suffered so long, the reason she had all of the lows she had, why she had been through the ringer, it was all to get to this point. If one thing had been different, one simple minute little thing hadn't happened, she wouldn't be here right now.

"It's a good, strong heart beat," chimed in. "Actually, everything is looking really great."

"That's good news," Elliot said more to Olivia than anyone else. She gave him a smile and nodded her head. finished up the ultrasound and left the room, allowing Olivia to get dressed before they continued with the appointment.

Elliot walked out with Noah for a moment giving her some privacy. He was looking at a woman's anatomy chart when Olivia opened her door to get him. "I think you're pretty familiar with all of that," she chuckled.

"I would have to agree with you there," he chuckled walking back to her, "Sometimes I just need a refresher."

She gave him a sweet peck on the lips, "Somehow I highly doubt that," she said rubbing a hand across her stomach.

"Hey! What can I say? I can put a bun in any oven," he laughed and kissed her again.

Noah stirred, rubbing his tired eyes with his fists. He looked towards Olivia and held out his arms.

Olivia took him in her arms, "Hey there sleepy head. You're finally awake." Noah yawned and rested his head against her shoulder.

Elliot ran his fingers through her hair, "How are you doing with all of this, really?"

Olivia gave him a genuine smile, "Great, amazing actually. Knowing that our baby is safe and healthy right now is all I could even ask for. Hearing the heart beat had this calming effect and it allowed me to be in the moment, to stop worrying and focus on the here and now."

Elliot kissed her forehead, "Alright love birds, let's finish this up," interrupted as she made her way to them. They blushed and followed her into the room. Olivia sat down with Noah in her lap and Elliot sat in the chair next to her, holding her hand.

took a seat on the stool and folded her hands in her lap, "Everything looks good. Your blood pressure was in the normal range as well as your hormones. How is the morning sickness? Have you had any cramping or bleeding?"

"Morning sickness is not a good term for it," she quipped. "I'm usually sick late in the afternoon of at night but it's not excessive and it's nothing I can't handle," she felt Elliot lightly squeeze her hand, giving her his strength and encouragement. "I haven't had any cramping or spotting."

"That's a good sign," encouraged, trying to help settle any nerves. "Did you both get a chance to read over some of the things I gave you?"

"Yes," Elliot answered. "We went through all of it last night."

Olivia looked over at Elliot and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. She looked back at her doctor, "We don't want to do the testing."

nodded her head, "I thought as much. I do highly recommend the testing but it's up to you two. Right now the baby looks healthy so I don't see any reason you necessarily need the test, but if in the next few weeks you change your mind you still have that option available."

Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia before she addressed the doctor, "We'll keep that in mind, but we don't want to put our child any more risk than necessary. We believe in how strong our baby is."

"I understand completely," said as she got up from her stool. "Having a positive outlook

on this will really does have an effect. The baby is doing well and as long as both of you continue to stay healthy this pregnancy should be smooth sailing. I know most of what you read is pretty negative and heartbreaking but keep in mind those are simply statistics and possibilities, every woman and every pregnancy is different. I have had plenty of woman who have late in life pregnancy's and they deliver perfectly healthy babies. Complications can still arise so just be aware of that. If either of you don't have any questions I'm all done for today."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, "I think we're okay for now," he spoke on their behalf.

nodded and shook Elliot's hand and rested a hand on Olivia's shoulder, "Take it easy and as always, feel free to call or email any time with questions or concerns. Make your next appointment for three weeks from today."

Olivia nodded her head in understanding, "I will, thank you."

"Enjoy your pregnancy," said to the family as she left the room.

"What do you want to do with the rest of our day, baby?" Elliot asked Olivia as he grabbed the diaper bag and held the door for her to walk out.

"Do you want to maybe see if Eli wants to go to the park or something like that? Maybe the soccer fields even?" Olivia threw out as she stopped at the desk to make her appointment.

This is what it was about for them, family. Bringing two families together as

one. "That sounds perfect. Let me call Kathy and see if he's home."

Olivia made her appointment and turned back to Elliot, "Great, I've really been missing him."

"It's only been a few days, Liv," he chuckled holding the door for her.

"I know, but he's such a great little boy. He's so loving, caring, and silly and he's fantastic with Noah. I hope that Noah will grow up to be like him," she confessed as they got into the elevator.

Elliot ran his hand through Noah's hair, "He's going to be a great human being, just like his Mama. The same for this little one," he told her, resting a hand against her stomach. The elevator doors opened and Elliot took her hand in his and they walked along the street hand in hand.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Sorry it's late everyone! The premiere took away my focus. Anyhow, let me know your thoughts and enjoy!

They had picked up Eli and were just pulling into the soccer fields. Eli was always so full of life. He had come running out of the house with his practice gear on and his soccer bag on his back, practically coming out of his shoes. Elliot spent as much time as he could with Eli while they were both on break.

Eli was quite the busybody though, always going from one activity to another.

They parked the car and Eli jumped out, trying to pull his bag up from the floor of the car but the strap was stuck. He pulled at if for the fifth time, "Dad," he whined as he pulled again.

Olivia got out of the passenger seat and put her hands on his shoulders, "Okay

Eli. I got it."

He backed up and she grabbed the bag, pulling the strap from under the seat. She turned him around and helped him get his arms through the straps, "Here you go bud."

"Thanks, Livvie," he yelled as he started running towards the field.

She laughed as he ran right through a mud puddle and it splashed up onto his shorts, "He's going to be a mess."

"Don't worry," Elliot said as he came around the car with Noah, "I had Kathy put a couple of towels in his bag."

She wrapped her arm around his waist and left a kiss on his cheek, "Good thinking."

"I learned from my mistakes," he chuckled, remembering all of the times Eli had been caked in mud and turned the car into a disaster. "When do you think we should tell the kids about the baby?"

They started walking towards Eli, who had started unpacking his bag, "Well, I think we should wait until the first trimesters over. Some of the risks decrease when we get past that point."

He kissed the top of her head, "That's fine with me. Whatever you want to do, we do."

"Thank you," she said kissing his cheek. "Maybe we should have them over this weekend to tell them about the engagement?" He gave her a guilty look. "What did you do?" she chuckled.

"Well nothing really," he shrugged his shoulders and looked out at Eli. "I sent them all a text the day I was going to propose because I was nervous and they were all really excited and told me I was being a sissy."

She laughed, "Man do I love those kids. Well since they already know let's just have a nice dinner at the apartment and hang out?"

He brought her into a hug and left a tender kiss on her lips, "I think they would like that. I'll give them all a call later and see if that works for them. Thanks."

She furrowed her brows and looked up at him puzzled, "What for?"

He took her hand in his and left a kiss on her knuckles, "Caring about my kids the way you do. Including them and bringing us closer together."

"You don't need to thank me for that, El," she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I love those kids, I want them around as often as possible. They make you so happy and that's the family I want for Noah and the baby. I never had that and that's what I want for my own babies."

"Our babies," he corrected with a smile, "They have that and so do you."

"So I should really be thanking you," she wrapped her arms around his middle, being mindful of Noah. "You're the one who's giving me this family."

Elliot brushed some hair out of her eyes and cupped the back of her neck, pulling her face close to his, dropping a lingering kiss against her lips, "I'm not giving you anything, we're building a family _together_."

Olivia sniffled as she pulled away, "Stupid hormones," she muttered under her breath. "No making me cry in public, Stabler. It's not nice to do that to a pregnant woman."

"Awe, but you're my pregnant woman and I love you whether you're in tears or not," he whispered into her ear as he kissed her cheek.

"I'm going to remember you saying that when I'm hysterical for no reason in a couple of months," she said laughing as she kissed Noah's head and ran ahead to play with Eli.

Their back and forth banter was still there, it just changed a bit. They had the ability to bounce from one thing to another, changing a deep conversation into one that was light and full of laughter. They never let each other spend too much time over thinking and worrying, that's when they got into trouble. Sharing their hopes and dreams and even the things that scared them to death was how

their relationship worked.

Elliot walked over to the picnic table and sat down with Noah. "You are so amazing, Noah and we love you so much." Noah smiled and stuck a pudgy hand in his mouth. "But I think you already know that don't you? You know you've got us wrapped around your finger."

Olivia was chasing Eli around and trying to guard him. Eli had set up a little course with orange cones and was teaching Olivia how to weave through them.

He would show her how to do it and she would do it wrong, on purpose, making him laugh the whole time, "Kick it with the other foot, Livvie."

She used the same foot again, feigning confusion, "Oh, you mean this one?"

"Nooooo," he giggled and grabbed her right leg, "This one, Livvie. Use this one."

"Okay I think I got it now," she kicked the ball around the cone and made a goal.

Elliot made his way to the goal, getting out the ball and kicking it back to her, "It looks like someone's becoming quite the soccer player."

"Well I have a good coach," she tickled Eli and they fell on the ground laughing.

"Olivia, please be careful," he scolded in a concerned tone.

She glared at him as she sat up, "Elliot."

It was a warning and he knew it but he couldn't help himself, "No. You need to be careful."

Olivia turned back to Eli and tickled him some more, "Why don't you go set up something else and you can teach me in a second?"

"Okay Livvie," he stood up brushing the grass off of his clothes, "Are you gonna come too Daddy?"

He rustled Eli's hair, "Of course buddy. Maybe we can work on that new move we were practicing the other day?"

"Okay," he yelled back as he ran out into the middle of the field.

Eliot turned back to Olivia. She had her arms folded and a tight lipped expression on her face, "Liv..."

She waved her hands in front of him, cutting him off, "No, Elliot. What's going on with you?"

He switched Noah to his other hip and shifted between his feet, "Nothing, I just want you to be careful. Think about the baby."

She took a step back from him, "Think about the baby? Do you honestly think that I don't think about the baby, Elliot?"

He stepped towards her but she moved away, "I didn't ..."

She cut him off, "All I do is think about the baby. I worry and plan and research anything and everything there is to know. You're this baby's father but you're not mine. I am more than capable of taking care of myself and this baby while it's inside of me." She moved swiftly and took Noah from his arms, "I'm not made out of glass, I'm pregnant. I love this baby but I love Noah and Eli too and I'm not going to give up playing and enjoying my time with them. I still have to live my life."

Elliot watched as she walked away and joined Eli on the field. He got up from the picnic table grabbing the diaper bag and made his way over to them. He pulled a blanket out of the bag and spread it on a dry area of grass for Noah to play on as well as laying out some of his toys.

"Thanks," Olivia nodded as she put Noah down and occupied him with a toy.

"C'mon Daddy," Eli yelled as he ran past them kicking the soccer ball.

Elliot sighed and looked out, "I'm gonna go for a walk I think, I'll be back in a little and we can practice then."

"No! You promised we could play," he whined, stomping his feet.

"Eli! That's enough," Elliot scolded. "I'm coming back and I promise we will play then."

Eli whimpered and tears filled his eyes as sat down on the blanket.

Olivia looked between Eli and Elliot, "What's wrong with you? Why are you yelling at him like that?"

"Don't tell me how to deal with my son," he seethed. Turning back to look at Olivia, he saw the stunned look on her face and he realized what he had just said. "Olivia..."

She straightened her posture and squared her shoulders, "Go take a walk and cool down. _Now_."

Elliot looked back at Eli who had tears streaming down his cheeks and he felt horrible. He turned back to Olivia who had a stern look on her face and knew he needed to take the walk. He dropped his head and his shoulders slumped as he walked off in the other direction.

Olivia watched his back as he walked further away and shook her head. She sat down on the blanket next to Eli and pulled him to her, "Come here, sweet boy. It's okay."

He rested his head on her chest and sniffled as his tears dropped onto her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispered, burrowing his face in her shirt.

She ran her hands through his curly locks, rubbing his back and kissing his head, "Eli, buddy, it's okay. Really, you didn't do anything wrong. Your Dad just needs a little time to calm down. I'm sorry he yelled at you."

Eli looked up at her, his blue eyes shining with tears. They were the same blue eyes that had stolen her heart all those years ago and looking into them now was heartbreaking. "Is he mad at me?" Eli asked her, his lip quivering.

Olivia wiped away some of his tears, "No, sweetie. He just has a lot on his mind and he took it out on you."

Eli sat back on her legs and rested his hands on her chest, "Does he still love me?"

Now that truly broke her heart. "Of course he does, Eli. He loves you so much and nothing is ever going to change that, I promise you."

Eli nodded his head, resting his head on her shoulder he let out a sigh, "Love you, Livvie."

"I love you too, Eli. Everything is going to be alright," she said rubbing his back and dropping kisses into his hair.

Elliot was walking along the trail trying to figure out why he had snapped like that. He sat down on a bench and watched as the kids laughed and played on the playground. He stuffed his hands into his pockets when he felt the piece of paper. Pulling it out he realized it was a copy of their sonogram from earlier. He stared down at the picture in his hands and smiled.

As excited and as happy as he was about the baby he was also scared. He wanted to do everything in his power to keep their baby safe inside of her until he could hold their baby in his arms. Not having control was the hardest thing for him. Until the baby was here, the only way he could keep the baby safe, was to keep Olivia safe. All he wanted to do was stick her in a bubble and never take his eyes off of her, he didn't want to let anyone or anything get to her or the baby. He knew Olivia all too well though. Hovering over her and trying to control her every move would not only drive her crazy but would also completely piss her off and that's something he most certainly didn't want to do.

Elliot needed to find the balance between being protective and caring versus controlling. He knew more than anything that Olivia loved their baby and wanted to protect the baby just as much as he did, and he trusted her. He trusted her and had faith in her that she would do everything in her power to get their baby here safe. That's all he was going to do ... trust her. He put the sonogram back in his pocket and made his way back to his family.

Olivia and Eli were running on the field kicking the ball back and forth while Noah chewed on his teething ring. "Hey guys," Elliot yelled out to them. They both stopped and looked to him, "Can I talk to you, Liv?"

"Why don't you talk to Eli first?" she said resting her hand on Eli's back.

Elliot bent down and opened his arms, "Come here, buddy."

Eli looked up at Olivia, who nodded her head, and ran to his father, "I'm so sorry, Daddy."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Eli," he told him as he picked Eli up in his arms. "I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

Eli nodded his head, "It's okay, Daddy. I forgive you."

"I love you so much, Eli," he said hugging him close and kissing his forehead.

Eli hugged his father around the neck and kissed Elliot's forehead, mimicking his actions, "Love you too, Daddy. Can we practice now?"

"You bet," he said putting Eli back on his feet. "Go set it up while I talk to Olivia."

"Okay," he chimed as he ran back over to Olivia. "He wants to talk to you then he's gonna play with us!"

Olivia ruffled his hair, "Sounds good to me, sweetie."

Eli ran off and Olivia made her way to Elliot, "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he told her, taking her hand in his. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to yell at you or Eli and I didn't want to try to control your life. It's just hard for me not being able to do anything for the baby. I feel so helpless sometimes and I think that if I try to control everything else around me that it will make it easier for me."

"El," she said soothingly, supping his cheek with her hand. "You do a lot for the baby. You take care of me and Noah, you cook and make sure I'm feeling well, I don't know what I would do without you. And when the baby gets here, I know you're going to do everything you can possibly do for the baby."

"I just want you to both be safe," he said kissing her forehead. "I know you'll keep our baby safe until we both can."

She gave him a sweet peck on the lips, "I love you."

"I love you too, and the little one," he whispered brushing his thumb across her stomach. "Let's go play with the kids," he grabbed her hand and they made their way back to Noah and Eli.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Don't be shy, leave me your thoughts! Enjoy!

While Eliot went out to the grocery store Olivia and Noah were having some one on one mother son bonding time. "You are the sweetest boy in the entire world," Olivia cooed as she cuddled with Noah. She was laying on her side and Noah was resting in the crook of her arm. He was sucking on a pacifier holding his baby blanket in one arm, covering most of him. She kissed his cheeks and then his forehead, "You are so amazing Noah. I don't think you will ever understand how much I love you. You're one of the best things that ever happened to me baby boy." She snuggled down deeper into her pillows and pulled the covers up around her, "Can you keep a secret Noah? You're going to be a big brother in a few months." Noah just looked at her from under hooded eyelids. "You're going to have a little brother or sister and I know you will be the best big brother ever. No matter what happens in the future your Daddy and I love you with all of our hearts. You will always be my first baby and I will never forget all of the ways you changed my life."

Noah's breathing evened out and she watched him as he slept peacefully in her arms. She thought back to her first night with Noah. How scared she was that she was going to mess up, how over whelmed she was, how much she already loved him only after a few hours. It was crazy how much had come naturally to her. Once she was settled with him, everything was smooth sailing, but she would say it was because Noah was the best baby and he was easy going, rather than it being from her maternal instincts. Once Elliot came into the picture though everything was different. Everything in her life felt right. She fell asleep, mesmerized by her perfect son.

Elliot put away the groceries and walked into the bedroom. He found Olivia curled up with Noah in her arms. They were both lightly snoring and he couldn't help the uncontrollable smile that broke out on his face. Even sleeping she was perfect and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her white tank top contrasted beautifully against her tan skin and the bottom was riding starting to ride up at her waist and he could see just a tiny sliver of her baby bump. He made his into the room and sat down on the bed next to her. "Liv, baby," he whispered rubbing her arm. "I made you some lunch," he murmured against her skin as he kissed her forehead.

Her eyes flickered open as she adjusted to the light, "We must have fallen asleep while you were out."

Elliot ran his hand through Noah's hair, "You need your rest and he needs him mama's cuddles. I made you some food though, do you want me to bring it in here?"

Olivia cupped his cheek with her hand and brought his lips to hers, "Why don't you lay down with us?"

He smiled, "Did you forget that the kids are coming over tonight?"

"No, but it's only," she stopped and looked over at the clock on her night stand, "one o'clock. I told them to come over at five and we'd have dinner around six. We have plenty of time."

"Oh and Dickie called and said he would pick up Eli so we won't have to do that either. Let me get out of these jeans," he kissed her forehead and made his way to the closet.

Olivia watched as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and an NYPD t-shirt."That one's mine," she chuckled and he turned around.

"Really?" He said smiling as he held it out in front of him, revealing a shirt that was much too large for Olivia. "I'm pretty sure this used to be mine."

"Yeah, used to be. You left it here one day and once you were gone I couldn't just get rid of it," she sighed. "That shirt saw me through some hard times."

He looked at her with sadness in his eyes, "Baby..."

"It's fine ... I'm fine," she spoke while looking down at Noah.

"Liv," he called and she looked back up to him. "How about it's our shirt now?"

She nodded her head in agreement and watched him as he changed. The way the muscles in his legs rippled as he stripped off his pants, leaving only his boxes. His perfectly sculpted abs and chest that formed a chiseled V-shape. She could lose herself in his body every single time, no matter how many times she got to see him. He was pulling on his sweats when she interrupted him. "How about you put Noah in his crib and we have a little alone time?" she said suggestively adding a wink for good measure.

"Are you sure?" She gave him a questioning look so he elaborated, "I know you've been sick throughout the day and you've been tired. I don't want you to feel like we have to, I understand if you don't want to."

"Elliot," she smiled. " I will never not want to make love to you now take Noah to his room.."

He dropped the t-shirt on the ground, "Okay I'm going. I'm going." He gave her a quick kiss and pulled away but she wasn't having any of that. She took his face in her hands and crashed her lips against his, biting his lower lip and soothing it with her tongue.

They pulled apart, both breathing heavily, "That's your incentive to hurry it up."

"Yes m'am," he replied saluting her as he scooped Noah into his arms.

Olivia laughed watching him speed walk across the room, "You'll be the death of me."

Elliot ran back through the door and stripped off his sweat pants. "I'm ready," he said as he looked to the bed for Olivia, but she wasn't there.

"Over here," she purred from behind him.

Elliot turned around to find her standing in the doorway of the closet. Her hair had grown past her shoulders and was tousled just the way he liked it. She had on a matching black lace bra and panties set that left very little to the imagination. Her olive skin tone accentuated every feature.

"Wow," he stuttered as he looked her over from head to toe. He pulled her in by the hand and let his

hands roam her body, stopping to cup her perfect backside. He groaned against her ear as he kneaded the flesh he had gripped in his hands.

"You feel something you like, Stabler?" she said as she ran her hands down his back and brought them around, letting them fall across his abs. She trailed her hand over his waistband and dipped it below, rubbing her palm against him. A moan escaped her lips at feeling him harden under her.

Elliot let out a shaky breath as she stroked him. "I think you found something

you like, Detective."

"It's Captain," she said, pushing him back against the bed and crawling on top

of him, straddling his waist.

Elliot ran his hands up her legs and gripped her hips, "You'll always be detective to me."

It had just passed five when there was a knock on the door. "I got it," Olivia yelled back to Elliot who was just coming out of the bedroom. She made it to the door with Noah on her hip, "Guess who's here Noah?" She asked him as she threw open the door.

"Hi Livvie! Hi Noah," Eli yelled as he barreled through the door. He ran to Elliot almost tackling, "Daddy!"

"Hey Liv," Dickie said as he pulled her into hug. "Come here Noah," he took him in his arms.

Olivia shut the door and walked to living room and sat down on the couch next to Elliot, "How's your summer class going?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Its alright. The sooner I get done the better."

"Just do well," Elliot chimed in as he put his arm around Olivia.

"I got this Dad. My final is next week and I've been studying. Accountings a bitch and I am _not_ taking it again," he said with determination in his voice.

She couldn't help but chuckle, "I remember those days. I couldn't tell you how many all nighters I pulled. It's worth it though."

"That's what they keep telling me," he laughed.

Olivia and Elliot watched on as Dickie enjoyed some time with Noah. He would pull Noah up so he was standing in his lap and then blow raspberries on his stomach while Eli made funny faces at him and Noah laughed and laughed the entire time.

There was another knock on the door a little while later and they could hear them bickering. "Sounds like my daughters are here," Elliot chuckled as he walked to the door.

"Hi Dad," they chimed as he opened the door.

"How are my girls doing?" He asked as he brought them all into a hug, kissing them each on the top of the head.

"I'm good," Kathleen started, "Aaron should be here a little later."

"Him and James are playing in some flag football tournament with a few of their friends," Maureen added, "Men, they're always still just boys."

"Hey!" Elliot and Dickie said, both slightly insulted.

"Let's not hurt their fragile male egos," Lizzie laughed as she walked through the door, lightly smacking Dickie on the back of the head when she got to the couch.

"Ow! First you insult me and now you hit me," Dickie shook his head. "I can't wait until you get bigger Noah. You, me, and Eli are going to get them back for all of this abuse."

Olivia was watching the scene unfold, laughing the whole time. These were truly some of the most amazing kids and she was so grateful that they had allowed her into their lives.

Elliot closed the door and walked back to his family, "I'm with Dickie. You girls are rough."

"Awe, did they hurt your feelings, baby," Olivia said in a sweet voice as Elliot walked back to her and she wrapped her arms around him.

"They're mean," he joked as he buried his face against neck.

Olivia giggled and rolled her eyes, "They're pretty great."

"Traitor," Elliot laughed as he pulled back.

"It's always girls versus guys. How have you been Liv?" Lizzie asked as she hugged her.

Olivia hugged her back and repeated the action with Maureen and Kathleen, "I'm great. Enjoying being off of work and getting to spend time with all of you."

They talked about how their weeks were going until Aaron and James joined them and then they sat down and enjoyed a lovely meal. The guys talked about the flag football game while the girls talked about the guys.

They had set up in the living room and were all watching a movie. Olivia brought in their second bowl of popcorn and they were passing it around.

Elliot lifted up their blanket as she climbed in next to him and he wrapped his arms around her. Olivia watched as the bowl made it's was back to them. Maureen and James were curled up together on the one end, Kathleen and Aaron were sitting next to them, Eli had passed out and was sprawled out across Dickie, Lizzie's head was resting on Dickie's shoulder as her eyes flickered open and closed, and Noah was sleeping on Elliot's chest. Olivia looked up at Elliot and they shared a knowing look. This was their family and having everyone together was how it was meant to be. All was right in their world.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Thank you for all the input and comments. Keep them coming and enjoy!

"Hey Liv?" Elliot yelled from the kitchen.

She came out of the bedroom, a towel wrapped around her body and her hair up in a pony tail, "Yeah?"

"Did you do this?" He asked holding up his phone. On the display was a notification that had a tiny picture of a baby next to it.

She smiled and nodded her head, "Yeah I put it on there a couple of days ago, I have it on my phone too. It tracks my pregnancy and sends you these little updates every week. They tell you how far along I am and different things about the baby."

He clicked on the pop up and started to read, "Well let's see what's going on this week. Eight weeks, it says the baby is about the size of a kidney bean and it's starting to develop webbed fingers and toes. Here's some good news," he chuckled, "The babies tail is pretty much gone."

"Yeah, I'd say that's a definite plus," she giggled leaning against the doorway.

He raised his eyebrows and looked across at her, shooting her a mischievous look, "It says you might also need a new bra soon."

She pulled apart her towel and allowed him a sneak peak before quickly covering up again, "Oh _really_?"

He dropped his phone down on the counter and chased after her as she ran into the bedroom, "You can't just tease me like that," he laughed as he caught up to her and tickled her.

"No..." She got out in between her fits of laughter. "Please babe, I can't take it. I'm gonna pee my pants," she laughed.

He stopped tickling her and ran his hands up her legs and under her towel, "Good thing you aren't wearing any pants."

"El," she said breathlessly as his hands roamed her body, making their way up to her breasts, the towel finally falling away from her body.

"Hmm," he mumbled against her neck as his body molded to hers and he cupped her breasts, feeling their weight in the palms of his hands. He turned her around in his arms and attacked her lips with his, deepening the kiss and taking all she had to offer. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"I love you," she mumbled against his lips as he laid her back against the bed.

He looked down at her and he still couldn't believe he was lucky enough to call her his. Running his hand through her hair and cupping her cheek, he ran his thumb across her swollen red lips, "I love you too."

That afternoon, Elliot and Olivia were walking hand in hand through Central Park pushing Noah in his stroller. They walked past a section that was taped off and they could see a wedding taking place a couple hundred feet down the path. Elliot turned to look at her, catching her eyes, "When are you going to marry me?"

Olivia looked up at him, blocking the sun with her hand, "Well, to be honest with you I haven't really given it much thought."

"Me either," he confessed. "Just so you know, whenever you're ready I'm ready."

"I'm ready," she said squeezing his hand.

He looked into her eyes and knew that she was serious but he wanted her to know that this was on her terms, he knew how easily she could get overwhelmed. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured."

She smiled at him, "I already said yes and the truth is, I've been ready to marry you for more than a decade."

He dropped a kiss to her lips, "So when do you want to have the wedding?"

"Well, do you want to do it before or after the baby?" she asked him as they started walking down the path.

He shrugged his shoulders, "It's up to you but it probably would have more to do with what kind of wedding you want?"

She took a moment to think about it before responding, "I just want something small. Your kids and the guys down from the precinct, and Don of course. Those are really the only people I would like to have there with us. We could just go down to the courthouse."

"Olivia," he said raising a skeptical eyebrow at her, "You have always wanted to have an actual wedding. What's changed?"

"Being with you," she said honestly. "A marriage isn't about how much money we spend on some big show or where it's at, all that matters is that at the end of the day I'm married to you. Spending the rest of my life with you and our family is all that matters to me."

Elliot squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead, "That's all that matters to me too, but I want you to have the wedding you want. It's a day that we will never forget and I want it to be everything you've always dreamed about."

She raised up on her tiptoes and have him a sweet kiss, "Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome," he replied kissing her nose. "Why don't you take a little bit and decide what you want for the wedding and we can go from there?"

"I will," she smiled and they walked through the park. "Don said he would meet us at the playground. I think Fin is stopping by on his lunch break."

"I'm sure Noah will be excited to see them. Don always brings him gifts," Elliot chuckled.

"Ah, to be young again," Olivia laughed with him.

They made it to the park and found Fin and Don sitting on the bench waiting for them.

"Sorry we're late," Olivia apologized as she hugged each of them.

"You're fine," Fin told her as he got Noah out of his stroller.

"We were catching up," Don chimed in as he gave Elliot a hug. "How have the three of you been?"

"We're great actually," Elliot answered. "I asked her to marry me and she actually said yes," he laughed.

"Really?" Don asked as he turned to look at Olivia and she held out her hand. "Congratulations," he said as he pulled Olivia into a hug and clapped Elliot on the back.

"Finally!" Fin yelled from swings as he pushed Noah.

"Very funny," Elliot laughed, "At least we eventually got it together."

"You could say that again ... but really, congratulations," Fin said more seriously.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Elliot's waist and rested her head on his shoulder, "Thank you both, that means a lot to us."

"It's been a long time coming," Cragen smiled knowingly. "When's the wedding?" He asked them as they all took a seat on the bench.

"I'm still waiting for Liv to decide on that," he smiled at her when she looked up at him.

"Don't blame me," she chuckled, "But yes Don, I'm still trying to figure it

out."

"Well there's no rush, just let me know the time and the place and I'll be there," Don said. It was a happy time for him. He got to watch their partnership blossom and change for 12 years with the hope that one day they would realize their feelings for one another and then stood by as it all came crashing down when he left. Finally though, he got to see them come together and heal. He had never seen Olivia as happy as she was right now, simply glowing and enjoying the life she deserved to have.

Fin had left after an hour or so needing to get back to a case. Don had taken Noah down by the pond and was feeding the ducks as they swam past while Elliot and Olivia watched them from up above, sitting on a blanket on the hillside under a willow tree.

"Did you ever think that this would be our life?" Olivia asked him, "Together with a son and another baby on the way. It's still unbelievable for me sometimes."

He kissed her forehead as he laid them back to rest on the blanket, "Me too. I just don't know how I got so lucky to be with you. You're this amazingly beautiful, smart, passionate person and you're all mine," he smiled as he cupped her cheek and claimed he lips. They pulled apart with a slight smacking sound, "You changed my life sixteen years ago and I knew you were the one I could never let go of."

"You came back to me," she said letting out a shaky breath. "I can't even imagine what my life would look like if you never came and found me."

"We would still be here. After I saw you at the park, there was no way I could have stayed away," he told her running his hand through her hair.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his fingers massaging her scalp. "How can you be so sure?"

He stopped his movements and she looked up into his eyes, "Because, just being able to see you for those few minutes, I was able to breathe again."

She brought his face down and kissed his lips, "Me too, baby. If you didn't come to see me I think I would have tried to look for you. I couldn't go on without you any longer. "

Don had turned to see them staring into each other's eyes as they kissed. "How about we give your parents some time alone?" Don said to Noah as they walked around the pond. "PopPop's known your parents a long time Noah. I bet you didn't know this, they used to work for me," Don said smiling down at Noah as he watched the ducks. "And they used to drive me crazy," he chuckled, remembering all the times he had to split up fights or try to get them to listen to him only to have them completely ignore him and do whatever the hell they wanted. "They were also one of the best teams I have ever seen. They had this bond that was just incredible to watch. Always knowing what the other was thinking, always being able to predict what their next move would be, it was something that you can't teach. It just happens," he told Noah who was looking back up at him. "You, your Mom, and your Dad have a very special place in my heart."

The group had stopped for some ice cream before parting ways. Once they had gotten home they relaxed a little before having dinner and getting ready for bed. Olivia was in the nursery rocking Noah.

"You had a busy day with PopPop and Uncle Fin. You must be so tired little man," she cooed down to him as she rubbed his back. She was feeding him his bottle and he was staring up at her with big round eyes. "You are very loved, Noah. Let me ask you something, how do you feel about being in a wedding?" she laughed as he just looked at her, his sucking slowing down as his eyelids grew heavier, "I think I just made up my mind." She rocked him for a while longer before she got up, setting his bottle on the dresser, and gently lowering him into his crib, "Good night my sweet boy, I love you." She backed out of the room and closed the door gently behind her.

Olivia stopped in the kitchen grabbing two bottles of water and walked to the bedroom. Elliot was laying on the bed watching the news.

"Did he go down alright?" he asked her as he lowered the volume on the television.

"Great as usual," she told him handing him his water and laying down on the bed next to him. "So I was thinking about the wedding."

He took a swig from the bottle then turned to look at her, "Really? Any decisions?"

She nodded her head and curled into his side, wrapping her arms around him, "I want to do a small wedding in central park out by that pond we were at today. Really simple and I'd like to do it in two weeks."

"You don't waste any time," he chuckled.

"Well," she sighed and then took a deep breath, "I just want to do it before the baby comes because things are going to get a little crazy around here. I'm going back to work soon and we're going to have to start looking for a bigger place, sooner rather than later. Who knows how long it will take until everything is settled enough to have a wedding after the baby comes and if we wait too long before the baby I'll really be showing and I still want to be able to wear something nice."

"I understand where you're coming from and I think it's a great idea," he dropped his head to capture her lips. "Whatever you want to do we'll make happen."

"It's your wedding too, is there anything you want?" she asked him resting her head on his chest.

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer to him, "Just for you to be happy."


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: As always thank you for continuing to read and enjoy this story. Leave your thoughts and enjoy!

The early morning sunlight was trickling in through the blinds and it was streaking across his features. Olivia had been up for the last half an hour just lying there watching Elliot sleep. Her chin was resting on his shoulder, her eyes fixed on his face. He looked so peaceful, so vulnerable when he was asleep. He was truly the most beautiful man she had ever seen. The only bad thing was that she couldn't see his crystal clear blue eyes.

She lightly set her hand on his forehead and pushed it back into his hair. She trailed her hand around his eye and down over his cheek bone. He had tiny white scars on his cheek, barely visible to anyone else, but if you looked close enough they were there. All the times he got into a fist fight with a perp, or anyone else for that matter and it had broken skin, left behind after the healing were tiny little reminders in the form of scars.

He stirred slightly but his eyes stayed closed and he let out a sigh as he settled back into the pillows. She pulled the sheet down revealing his naked chest. Her hand trailed down his shoulder and over his chest. She stopped when her hand ran over a raised scar between his shoulder and nipple. She raised and saw the two matching scars that were mere inches apart on the right side of his chest and shoulder. The night he got those scares will be forever burned into her memory.

Elliot had went undercover to gain access into an animal smuggling ring and it had went bad ... very, _very_ bad. She heard the gunshots from her car and had raced to get to him. Finding him laying on the concrete side walk bleeding profusely and losing consciousness had been one of the scariest moments of her entire life. Riding with him to the hospital watching him code and practically die right in front of her was unbearable.

The tears had welled in her eyes just thinking about that day. She dropped a soft kiss to each scar before she felt Elliot's grip around her tighten.

He brushed his lips against her forehead, "Hey."

"Hi," she whispered with a more somber tone in her voice. She dropped her head to his chest and took a deep breath, enjoying the sound of his heart beat, "I thought you were going to die on me that night."

"I thought so too, but I was going to do everything I could to live," he told her, taking her hand in his and lacing their fingers together. "I wasn't ready to die."

She kissed his chest and looked up at him, "I wasn't about to let you either."

"I think that's the only time our stubbornness has ever been a good thing," he smiled trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah I think so," she returned the smile. "I don't think I would survive without you."

"Yes you would," he said confidently, "But if I have anything to say about it you're not going to have to find out for a very long time. You're stuck with me for quite a while."

She raised up to leave a kiss against his lips and stared into his eyes, "No amount of time will be long enough with you but I'll take as long as I can get."

Elliot pulled her back down to kiss her, leaving her lips only to trail a line of kisses against her jaw and back to her ear. "You're the love of my life ... _forever_," he whispered against her ear, rolling them over so he was resting on top of her.

Olivia raised her head up from the bed brushing her nose against his and lightly kissing his lips, "I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered against her lips only to pull back when things were heating up.

"What's wrong?" She asked slightly out of breath.

"Nothing," he smiled kissing her forehead. "As much as I want to make love to you right now, I have a surprise for you that should be here in about an hour and you need to get ready."

She raised an eyebrow, "What kind of surprise?"

"I'm not ruining it for you," he chuckled as he rolled off of her and sliding off the bed and throwing on a shirt.

"_Please_," she whined as she sulked around to his side.

"No," he kissed her and turned her towards the bathroom. "Now go get ready," he told her chuckling as he smacked her on the butt.

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't do that," she scolded feigning anger as she went into the bathroom.

"You know you can't stay mad at me, especially when I make you pancakes," he yelled through the door.

She opened the door and stuck her head out, "There better be a stack covered in butter when I get out of here."

"Anything for you," he laughed as she closed the door again.

Olivia had just finished her pancakes when there was a knock on the door.

"You should get that," Elliot told her as he took Noah back to his room to get him dressed.

Olivia dropped her plate in the sink and made her way to the door. She looked through the peephole, "Oh my God!" She threw open the door to find Alex Cabot on the other side, with a baby to top it off , "What are you doing here?"

"Well it's great to see you too, Olivia," Alex joked as she adjusted the diaper bag over her shoulder.

"That's what I meant to say," Olivia laughed as she pulled her into a gentle hug. "I'm just surprised, and happy, to see you is all. And you have a baby," she cooed as she looked down at the pudgy little porcelain skinned angel that was sleeping in Alex's arms, "Can I hold her?"

"This is Julia, she'll be a month old tomorrow actually. Time is flying," she kissed her daughters head and gave her to Olivia . "But you're getting married ... to _Elliot_," she said almost unbelievingly.

"Yeah," Olivia smiled. "We have a lot to catch up on. Alex, she is the most precious thing ever."

"We do and we have all day, we're going shopping, and thank you. I think she's the cutest baby on the planet but I think I'm biased," Alex joked.

"All of us moms think that but we're usually right. Where are we going?" Olivia asked her as they walked into the apartment.

"You're getting married in a week and Elliot informs me you still do not have a wedding dress," Alex told her just as Elliot was coming back in with Noah.

Elliot pulled her into a hug, "Thanks for coming. How was the flight?"

"You are very welcome and the flight was great actually, she slept the whole time," she told him looking towards Julia who was sleeping in Olivia's arms.

"Someone takes after her mother," Elliot said as he stood over Olivia's shoulder looking down at Julia.

"She does," Alex chuckled, "Jason gets jealous sometimes."

"All of my kids got my eyes, I got lucky there," he said stroking a finger down Julia's cheek. "Did you drag Jason to New York with you?"

"Yeah," Olivia interrupted, "There's no denying those kids are yours."

"No not yet," Alex chuckled, "He has a big case this week but he's taking the first flight out Saturday at eight a.m."

"I'm sure he'll miss you guys like crazy until he gets here," he said watching as Olivia cooed down to the baby in her arms.

"So how long have you been planning this, El?" She asked him with a huge smile on her face.

He shrugged his shoulders, "About a week. I wasn't about to let you get married without your best friend."

"You're the best, " she gave Elliot a peck on the lips. "Are you ready to go?" Olivia asked Alex who nodded and took Julia from her. "I love you both," she said kissing Noah's forehead and giving Elliot another peck on the lips. "Momma will be home soon," she said over her shoulder as they left for the day.

Alex and Olivia had grabbed a cab and stopped for some lunch before heading to go shopping. Alex had filled her in on everything that had happened since she left New York. She had met her husband, Jason Stienfield, when she had moved out to California. He was also a lawyer and they had hit it off almost instantly and had gotten married a year and a half ago. They wanted children and after a couple months trying she got pregnant, and the rest was pretty much history. Olivia had already told her everything from Lewis and becoming captain and it was now onto more upbeat topics.

"So Elliot's back?" Alex giggled as she took a bite of her salad.

"What tipped you off?" Olivia laughed taking another sip from her soda.

Alex gave her a fake laugh, "Very funny. I _meant_ explain."

"Well, I got custody of Noah in May and had been with him for less than a week when I ran into Elliot at the park. We both just starred at each other before I took off and he chased me down and wanted to talk," she told her taking a pause.

"And obviously per Olivia fashion you said 'No' and stormed off?" Alex said with a smile.

Olivia chuckled, "Yes you'd be correct. Thank god for his stubbornness though because he hunted me down and showed up on my doorstep a couple of days later."

"I never thought I'd see the day where him being a stubborn ass would be a good thing," Alex chuckled shaking her head.

"Me either," Olivia said, stealing a glance at her engagement ring, "But it has been the most amazing part of my life, having Elliot and becoming a mother, I couldn't imagine it any other way."

"When did he propose?" She asked as they continued on with their lunch.

A couple of hours later they were walking through the door of the bridal store a couple of blocks from the restaurant. It was a smaller store that was lined wall to wall with dresses.

An older stockier woman approached them, "Hello ladies, how may I help you?"

"Hi," Alex replied shaking her hand, "We have an appointment today under Benson."

The woman checked her book finding the name, "Right on time! If you'll both follow me this way we can get to work on finding your dress."

Olivia had just made it home from her all day shopping excursion with Alex. She dropped her keys on the table and her purse on the floor, pushing her shoes of as she walked to the living room. The television was on but there was no Elliot. She turned the TV off and walked to the bedroom. She stopped in Noah's room first and kissed him on the forehead. The bedroom was dark but the light was on in the bathroom and she heard the water running. She pushed the door open and saw that he was filling the tub up for a bath.

"Hey baby," he said moving to kiss her, "How was your day? Did you find a dress?"

"It was great and yes I found a dress but no you can't see it. It's not even here so don't try to find it either," she chuckled when she saw his pout.

"You're no fun," he said as he kissed her forehead.

"So is this bath for us?" She asked him as he started pulling on her clothes.

"Yes," he said as he started undoing the buttons on her shirt, "but the wine is for

me."

"Damn..." She sighed as she eyed the glass sitting on the counter.

"Maybe if you're good I'll let you have a taste," he whispered into her ear as he unbuttoned her pants and pulled down the zipper.

"You know I'm always a good girl for you," she purred as she nibbled on his earlobe. They finished undressing each other and got into the hot bubbly water. Olivia's back was resting on Elliot's chest and they were relaxing in the bath.

"How are my babies doing?" He asked her as he brought his hand around to rest on the tiny bump that was forming.

"Well I'm good, just tired from today, and I think I have our baby to thank for that," she joked as she let out a yawn.

He rubbed over the bump and kissed her neck, "Well how about I give you back rub, maybe that will help?"

"You do have magical fingers," she said turning her head to capture his lips and she could taste the wine on his lips, "Mhm that's the only thing I miss. Unwinding with a nice glass of wine at the end of the day."

He brought her hands to rest on their baby with his, "It's for a good cause."

"A very good cause," she agreed squeezing his hands before they slipped surround to her back. He pulled her hair to the side and started with her neck, moving his knuckles in small circles around her spine when she let out a low moan, "You're so good at this."

He moved his hands down to her lower back and kissed the back of her neck, "Only the best for you. Seeing you with a baby in your arms today was so unreal, it just made me think about the baby."

"I know. I kept envisioning how great it's going to be to hold our baby for the first time. Only seven more months," She said letting her hands settle on the tops of his thighs as she enjoyed her massage.

"Do you realize we're getting married in exactly one week?"

He nodded against her neck as he started kissing her, "Yes and I cannot _wait_ to make you Olivia Stabler."

"That has a nice ring to it," she cooed as she brought her hand up to run her fingers through his wet hair, cupping the back of his neck and bringing his lips to hers.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: It's finally here! Let me know what you think and enjoy!

It was finally the day of the wedding. After a long week filled with decisions and scrambling to get everything ready in time they had finally made it. Deciding to partake in some tradition Olivia and

Noah had spent the night with Alex and Julia at their hotel room and Elliot stayed at the apartment and invited his kids over. After breakfast Alex had left Olivia and Noah to enjoy some time alone and to let her get dressed.

Olivia was laying on the bed cuddling with Noah. "Mama," Noah giggled as she

tickled him.

"I just love you so much baby boy, I wanna tickle you and hear you giggle," she laughed as she tickled and kissed his chubby cheeks. She stopped tickling him and just stared down at him, "Well Noah, we gotta get ready soon so Momma can marry Daddy and become a Stabler." He just looked up at her and reached out to her face grabbing at her nose, she wiggled her nose under her hand and he giggled, "I love you so much little man."

Olivia had done her own hair and makeup deciding to keep it simple. She had loose curls falling down over her shoulders just the way she knew Elliot liked it, and had pulled her bangs back away from her face, securing them with a silver diamond encrusted broach. Her makeup was simple with just a little blush, some eyeliner and mascara. Before pulling on her dress she got Noah ready. He was

wearing black dress pants and white dress shirt. Olivia was just clipping on his little bow tie when there was a knock on the door.

"You look so cute," she cooed as she picked him and kissed him on the cheek, "Let's see who's here."

Pulling open the door she saw a dapper looking Don Cragen. "Don, what are you

doing here?" She asked pulling him into a hug.

He hugged her back and scooped Noah into his arm, "Hello little man. Well I stopped by to see Elliot and he wanted me to give you something."

She took the small box from him and read the note attached,

_I love you more today than I did yesterday and I will never stop loving you. I cannot wait to marry you, so hurry up! I love you, Olivia Benson. -XO El_.

She lifted the lid and inside were two diamond stud earrings. "They're beautiful," she said

admiring her new jewelry.

Don sat down on the chair with Noah, "He said he wanted to make sure you had something new for today."

"Well he did good," she chuckled, "Do you mind watching him for a second so I can get my dress on. I don't want to be late to my own wedding."

He chuckled, "Of course not, do whatever you have to do."

"Thanks," she chimed as she grabbed the bag her dress was in and the box with her shoes and headed to the bathroom.

Across town Elliot and his kids has just gotten in the limo that was taking them to Central Park.

Maureen rested her hand on her father's leg that had been bouncing since they got into the limo, "Dad, relax. Everything is going to be fine. She loves you."

Elliot squeezed her hand, "I know. It'll be better as soon as I see her walking towards me."

"Do I have to wear this, Daddy?" Eli huffed as he pulled at his bow tie.

"Yeah, sorry bud," Elliot chuckled. "You want to match your brothers don't you?"

"Yeah c'mon Eli," Dickie encouraged, "Olivia will be so happy you wore it."

"Well if it's for Livvie, I'll wear it," he said as he sat back on the seat.

"Thank you," Elliot mouthed to Dickie who just nodded his head.

"She's going to look beautiful," Lizzie chimed in.

"She always looks beautiful," he replied and all three girls let out and _Awe_.

"I can't wait to see what her dress looks like," Kathleen said as she adjusted

the strap on her heel.

Olivia took one last look in the mirror adjusting her earrings before stepping out of the bathroom.

"Liv, you look beautiful. Elliot's not going to know what to say," Don said standing up to hand her Noah.

She was wearing a cream colored satin strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline. The fabric was ruched right under her bust and flowed out to a slight A-line hitting right above her ankles. She was wearing a pair of blue satin pumps that had beading around the sides. She moved Noah around on her hip and smoothed her hand down her dress.

"You really think Elliot will like it?" She asked him, sounding like almost every woman on her wedding day.

"Elliot will love it. He loves you, it doesn't matter what you look like. That

man _adores_ you," he told her honestly.

"Thanks for that. Let's see, I have something borrowed, something new, and

something blue, I think I brought my something old in my bag," she said walking

over to her bag that was sitting on the window sill.

Cragen cleared his throat as he walked up to her, "Actually, I brought something

for you that could be your something old."

She turned back to him, "Don, you really don't have to do that. You just being here is a gift itself."

"It's just something little that has meant a lot to me," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver pocket watch. "Marge gave this to me on our wedding night and I have carried it with me since that day. I'd like for you to have it for your wedding."

She got a little misty eyed and she wiped furiously under her eyes, "Don I can't accept this. You should keep it in the family, give it to one of your nephews."

"Liv, you are family. I consider you to be my daughter. Noah's my grandson, I'm his PopPop. I want you to have this," he said as he took her hand and dropped the watch into her palm.

"Thank you so much," she said as she pulled him into a hug. "I'm so thankful I've had a father figure you like you in my life and I'm happy my kids will have their PopPop looking out for them."

"Kids?" He said as she looked at him with a smile.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I'm working on another Stabler baby."

"That's wonderful Olivia," he said pulling her into another hug. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," she said pulling back, "Don't say anything just yet, we're waiting until we're in the clear to tell the kids and everyone else. I just wanted you to know."

"My lips are sealed. So if you're ready, how about we go get you married?" He said grabbing the diaper bag and holding the door for her.

She put the watch in one of the pockets in her dress, grabbed her bag and walked out the door.

It was a beautiful Saturday in Central Park, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping and there was slight breeze which kept it cool. The pond was down to the right and there were two rows of chairs covered in a white lace fabric that were set up under the willow tree. Everyone that was invited had made it. On the right there was Maureen and James, Kathleen and Aaron, Dickie holding Noah, Lizzie, and Eli. On the left, Alex and Jason with Julia, Fin and Melinda, Nick, and Amanda. The aisle was lined out with red roses leading to Elliot who was standing at the end with the Justice of the Peace.

Elliot was wearing a white dress shirt with a black vest and matching dress pants. He had a red rose boutonniere that matched Olivia's bouquet. She was pacing around in the pavilion out of sight when Don found her.

"Everything is ready when you are, Liv. Are you okay?" he asked leaning against one of the wooden beams.

She nodded her head, "I'm fine, just nervous."

Don smiled, "That's normal. I was sweating like a pig before my wedding but once I saw Marge it all went away."

"Can you do me a huge favor?" she asked him once she finally stopped pacing.

"Of course just name it," he said genuinely.

"Would you walk me down the aisle?" she asked him but then felt unsure when she saw the stunned expression on his face. "It's just that you're the only father figure I've ever known and you've watched this relationship from the beginning and it would just mean a lot to me to have you walk me down, but if you don't want to then..."

"Yes Olivia," he cut her off, "I would be completely _honored_ to walk you down the aisle."

She smiled and gave him a hug, "Let's do this then."

Olivia and Don were waiting off to the side when the music started playing. She wrapped her arm around his and walked to the end of the aisle, "Don't let me fall."

He smiled and held just a little tighter, "Never."

They turned and started their journey down the aisle. As soon as she had picked her head up she saw Elliot. Even though it had only been a day since she last saw him it had felt like a lifetime. She felt the tears well in her eyes just thinking about what she was about to do. This was her wedding to the love of her life.

He couldn't stop smiling. She looked breath taking. Everything about her was perfect, like always. As she made her way closer to him it took all the will power in his body not to run to her and whisk her away right then and there. This day had been a long time coming and he was just so thankful that it was finally here and that in about fifteen minutes he would be able to call her his wife.

Finally making it to the end, Olivia turned to Don giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "Thank you for everything."

Elliot pulled Don into a hug and then shook his hand, "Thank you for taking care of her while I couldn't."

Don simply smiled and nodded his head, taking his seat next to Alex.

Elliot pulled Olivia to him and dropped a kiss to her forehead, "I missed you. You look absolutely incredible, baby."

"I missed you too and thank you," she smiled taking his hand and turning back to the Justice of the Peace, nodding her head and encouraging him to start.

He opened his binder and began, "Welcome everyone. Elliot and Olivia have chosen you, those special and important to them, to witness and celebrate the beginning of their life together. Today, as we create this marriage, we also create a new bond and new sense of family - one that will undoubtedly include all who are present here today." He flipped the page and looked to Elliot and Olivia and then at the guests, "They have chosen the following reading for me to share with you today:

_Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens._

_A good marriage must be created._

_In the art of marriage the little things are the big things..._

_It is never being too old to hold hands._

_It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day._

_It is never going to sleep angry._

_It is at no time taking the other for granted;_

_the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,_

_it should continue through all the years._

_It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives._

_It is standing together facing the world._

_It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family._

_It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty_

_or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy._

_It is speaking words of appreciation_

_and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways._

_It is not looking for perfection in each other._

_It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding,_

_and a sense of humor._

_It is having the capacity to forgive and forget._

_It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow._

_It is finding room for the things of the spirit._

_It is a common search for the good and the beautiful._

_It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,_

_dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal._

_It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner._

_It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best._

He closed his binder, "Olivia and Elliot have decided to write their own vows. Olivia if you would like to go first."

Olivia reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper, "Okay guys I'll do my best to keep this brief," everyone chuckled and she continued, "I didn't believe in love at first sight, but when I saw you, I knew I was in trouble. You were this stubborn, angry, sexy man that I got stuck with as my partner," she smiled and he rolled his eyes, "but I didn't just how lucky I got. The day I became your partner was the day I found my soul mate. I don't know how or when or why but one day I looked at you and I knew I was already too far gone. I fell in love with you over a decade ago and it was like nothing I've ever felt before. There's something so incredible in the way that you fall in love with a person's soul. The way that just being near you makes me feel alive. How going without you, whether it be days or years truly hurts my heart. Without you there is no me. You were and are my everything. We have been through so much, together and separately, and it's only made us stronger. I fell in love with you long ago but every day that goes by I fall more in love with you. I am so thankful that someone was looking out for me when they sent me you because I honestly have no idea where I would be if I had never met you," she put the paper back in her pocket and looked back up to him. He used his knuckle to wipe away the tears under her eyes, "I love you."

She took the white gold wedding band from the officiant in one hand and Elliot's hand in the other,

"I vow to help you love life. To always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. To live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home." She slid the ring on his finger, dropping a soft kiss onto it.

"Elliot go ahead when you're ready."

He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out his phone, "I kept rewriting them and got sick of the paper," he chuckled and Olivia just smiled and shook her head. "You are the most extraordinary woman on the face of this earth. Not a day goes by where you don't amaze me. Every time I look into your eyes or kiss you I fall in love with you over and over again. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know and I am so grateful that you love me. You are the most beautiful person inside and out," he took a deep breath and held her hand tighter, "I fell in love with the way you laugh, the way you are so driven to make this world a better place, and how you care so deeply about everyone you know. I love you because you make me a better person. I am a better man and a better father because of you," he took her hand and left a kiss on her palm and held it against his chest. "Olivia Benson, you are the love of my life and the reason I am the man that I am today. I am forever grateful that we were partnered together because you are such an amazing woman and my life wouldn't mean half as much as it does without you. I have lived without you and am so happy that I won't ever have to again."

He took the ring and gently slipped the diamond band on her finger, "I chose you to be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, and trusting who you will become. I will respect and honor you always and in all ways. With you I pledge to repair one small piece of the world. I take you to be my spouse, to have and to hold, in tears and in laughter, to love and to cherish, from this

day forward, in this world and the next."

"Elliot and Olivia, you have exchanged vows and rings, and consented to marry in the presence of this company . By the authority vested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Elliot was grinning from ear to ear as he reached out and pulled Olivia to him, wrapping his arms around her waist and covering her lips with his. It was sweet yet passionate and full of love and the promises they made to each other. Pulling back he rested his forehead against hers, "You're my wife."

"And you're my husband," she breathed as she pulled him back down and her lips crashed against his.

"Okay lovebirds, there's kids here," Fin laughed and they pulled apart, both slightly blushing.

"For the first time I would like to present you with Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Stabler."


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: I'm so happy you guys are enjoying the story. Leave me your thoughts and enjoy!

Everyone cheered as Elliot and Olivia kissed again and ran to the limo. Elliot held the door open for her, stealing a kiss as she slid past him. Elliot hopped in shutting the door behind him.

"Did I tell you that you look absolutely beautiful?" He smiled as he pulled her onto his lap.

Olivia giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "I believe you have but feel free to say it again."

He took her face in his hands giving her a slow passionate kiss pulling back slowly, "You're breathtaking."

"Thank you, baby. It only took me four hours to find this dress and these shoes," she chuckled.

"Well this dress is pretty great on you, I can't wait to see what it looks like on the floor," he smiled against her neck as he kissed up to her ear.

"You're so bad, we have guests waiting for us," she moaned as she tilted her head back, allowing him more access.

"But I can't help myself when it comes to you," he nibbled on her earlobe.

"Watch the earring there, Stabler. My husband got them for me," she breathed gripping his thigh when he reached the spot behind her ear that drove her crazy.

"Oh really now?" He breathed against her ear. "Do you like them?"

"I love them. You did _so_ good," she sighed when she felt his hand pulling her dress up. "El, seriously, we're gonna be there any minute."

"I'll be quick," he said as he picked her up and laid her down on the seat. He kissed from her ankle all the way to her thigh, "You're wearing a garter," he groaned as he ran his hand up her other leg.

"Make it quick," she moaned as he pulled her panties down and dropped them on the floor.

"Yes ," he smiled raising up and kissing her again.

They pulled up outside of the restaurant just as Olivia was fixing her hair and Elliot was zipping up his pants.

"Oh god, I have sex hair," she huffed as she tried to fix it.

Elliot finished tucking in his shirt and pulled her to him, "Stop worrying about it. You look gorgeous no one will even know."

"You better be right," she sighed as he guided her lips back to his.

"You ready?" He asked her.

She fixed his bow tie and ran her hands down his chest, "I think so."

He took her hand and they got out of limo and walked into the restaurant. They had gotten a private room in the back of their favorite place. It was the restaurant Elliot had taken Olivia out to for a nice romantic evening when Kathleen volunteered to watch Noah.

"Finally," Dickie exclaimed as he handed Olivia a hysterical Noah, "He's been crying for you for like 20 minutes."

"I'm so sorry, we got caught up," she said taking Noah from him. "What's wrong baby boy?" She cuddled him close and kissed his forehead, "It's okay, you're okay."

"Mama," he whimpered against her neck and his tears dropped onto her skin.

Elliot came over and rubbed Noah's back, "Little man, why all the tears?"

"He feels warm," Olivia said, leaving a kiss against his forehead.

Elliot pressed the back of his hand to his forehead and around his cheek, "He's a little warm. He's probably just cutting some new teeth."

"Are you sure?" She asked giving him a worried look as Noah continued whimpering.

"Hold on, we'll try something," he grabbed his cloth napkin and went to one of the water pitchers, soaking it and wringing it out and then filling it with ice. "Do you have one of those hair band things?"

"Yeah, here," Olivia reached into her pocket pulling out the hair tie giving it to him.

Elliot tied off the napkin so the ice couldn't fall out, "Here, let him teeth on this."

She took the makeshift ice pack from him and gave it to Noah, letting him suck on it. Slowly his cries started to die down, "You're a genius," she said as relief flooded over her and she gave Elliot a kiss.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I picked up a few things with the first five."

"Okay guys," Don said getting back everyone's attention, "They said that the food is ready to be brought out."

"Alright, sit wherever you want," Elliot told them, pulling out a chair for Olivia.

There was one long table set up in the middle of the room and they served dinner family style. Large bowls filled with salad and plates filled with appetizers made their way around the table, followed by different pastas and meats for their main course.

"Melinda wanted me to tell you she's sorry she had to miss the wedding, homicide caught a case and she got called in," Fin told Olivia and Elliot.

"I know how crazy the job is. I'll give her a call later," she assured Fin.

Alex stood up and raised her glass, "I would just like to make a quick toast to the happy couple. May your lives be filled with joy, happiness, and all of the love that's in this room. Congratulations you two."

"Don't worry, I had them fill your glass with ginger ale," Elliot whispered into Olivia's ear before taking a sip from his own glass.

"You've thought of it all," she chuckled taking a sip from her own glass.

They finished eating dinner and moved on to dessert. Their wedding cake was a small two tiered round cake with white butter cream icing and red rose petals outlining the bottom.

Elliot and Olivia both placed one hand on the knife and cut the cake. Elliot picked up a tiny piece and went to feed it to Olivia, "I swear if you smash this on my face you are going to regret it."

The room laughed, "I would never."

"Oh sure you wouldn't," she teased and ate the small piece he offered her. He suppressed a groan when she sucked on his finger, licking off any icing. Olivia giggled when she saw the pained expression on his face, "Calm down."

"Easy for you to say," he replied in a harsh whisper.

She rolled her eyes and held up a piece of cake to him, "Your turn."Elliot went for the cake and Olivia slapped the side of his face, smearing icing all over his cheek and nose. Everyone was laughing, including Elliot.

"Daddy you're messy," Eli giggled.

"I know, she really got me didn't she," Elliot laughed as he wiped off some of the icing.

"I did," Olivia laughed walking towards Eli, she dropped a kiss to his head and then surprised him by swiping some icing on his nose.

"Livvie," he giggled as he got some on his finger and licked it off, "It's good."

"Who wants cake?" Elliot asked the room and passed some around.

They were finishing their dessert and catching up with each other when Kathleen cleared her throat and grabbed a piece of paper from her purse, "If you guys don't mind I'd like to read something."

"Of course not, go ahead honey," Olivia said and Elliot wrapped an arm around Olivia and kissed her head.

Aaron gave her and encouraging kiss on her temple and she took another sip from her glass,"May you have the love only two can know. May you go where only two may go as one. May the sun rise and set in your bonded hearts and the moon never find you too long apart. May you cherish each other's dreams as your own and turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones. May you brave life's mountains and miles together. May there be no storm your love cannot weather. May you be lovers and allies and friends. May your souls' conversation never end. May you capture on earth what's in heaven above. May your hearts known the rapture of an uncommon love," She dropped the paper and raised her glass, "I love you both very much, welcome to the family Liv."

Elliot and Olivia made their way and gave Kathleen a hug, "Thank you honey, that was so sweet of you."

"You're welcome," she replied hugging Olivia, "I found it online one day and just thought it was so true wanted to share it with you."

"We loved it, really," Olivia encouraged her as they all took their seats again.

Lizzie went to the corner of the room and grabbed a large gift bag and brought it over, "All of us kids wanted to get you something special but we couldn't decide so we got a couple different things."

"Awe, you all are something else," Olivia said as Lizzie dropped the bag in front of her and Elliot.

Elliot kissed the top of Lizzie's head and then looked to the rest of his children, "Really, you didn't need to spend your money on us."

"Dad, it's a onetime thing," Maureen chimed in.

"It better be," Olivia replied nudging Elliot in the arm.

He gave her a kiss, "It is baby."

"Do the card last," Dickie said as he filled Eli's cup with more water.

Olivia pulled out the first box and took off the lid. Inside were two matching Yankee jersey's that had Mr. and Mrs. Stabler embroidered on the back, "Oh my god, these are so cute!"

Elliot held his up and looked at the back, "We need to go to a game soon. I'll see if I can get some tickets for all of us to go."

"That would be awesome," Dickie said, taking a brief moment away from his big brother duties.

"I'll see if I can get some for their next home game, " Elliot replied, folding up his jersey and putting it back in the box.

"Here you can do the next one," Olivia handed him the next smaller box.

He popped the top of it and pulled out an envelope, inside were ten tickets to one of the Yankee's home games, "You didn't! This had to be so expensive."

"We wanted to Dad. We haven't all been to a game in so long," Dickie said.

"Plus it'll be Olivia and Noah's first game with all of us," Lizzie said bouncing Noah on her lap.

"You all are so sweet," Olivia said as her eyes misted slightly.

Elliot squeezed her hand and dropped a kiss to her forehead, "Thank you so much."

"There's one more thing," Maureen said, "You can open the envelope. This one is more for Liv."

Olivia slid her finger through the fold of the envelop and pulled out the card, "You paid for our wedding photos?"

"Yeah, they should be done in a couple of weeks," Kathleen told them.

"You are the most amazing kids," Elliot walked around to each one of his children giving them a hug.

Olivia followed suit giving each a hug, "Truly, that was so thoughtful of you guys."

"You're welcome," they all chimed.

"Since its gift time," Don said reaching into his pocket and pulling out an envelope, "I got you guys a little something."

Olivia shook her head, "Don, really..."

Don waved his hand, "Just accept an old man's gift."

Elliot opened the envelop and read the card, "Are you serious?"

"Mhm," Don nodded his head and smiled.

"What?" Olivia questioned as she took the card from him.

"He paid for our honeymoon," Elliot said almost unbelievingly.

Olivia's eyes widened upon looking over the card, "Seven day, six nights, all expenses paid trip for two in Hawaii."

"We can't accept this," Elliot said trying to hand the envelope back to Don, "It's too much."

"Yes you can. You two are the only kids I've got and you deserve a relaxing vacation just the two of you. Plus, I'm not the only one who paid for it," He told them while leaving no room for debate.

"Yeah," Fin chimed in, "Nick, Amanda, Melinda, and myself paid for your round trip plane tickets. First class just for you, baby girl."

"Wow guys, thank you. That's incredible," Elliot said shaking hands with Fin and Nick and pulling Amanda into a small hug.

"What about Noah?" Olivia said looking to Elliot.

"Actually," Fin started, "We are all going to take turns watching him. I have off a couple of days this week so I'll have him then."

"I'm going to stay in town a while longer and I would love to watch him for you," Alex told them.

"I'll keep Noah the rest of the time. We'll have some Noah and PopPop time," Don said.

Olivia and Elliot were both overwhelmed with the love that they were receiving from their friends and family. They felt extremely blessed to be surrounded by all of the people that love and care about them. She had never been a part of such an amazing group of people who cared about her as much as they did.

Olivia stood up and felt Elliot's hand resting on the small of her back, "Thank you all for making this day so special for us, it means so much to have a family full of such good people who genuinely care about one another."

"If there's anything we can ever do to come close to repaying your love and kindness, please just let us know. You all mean more to us than you even know," Elliot finished.

"You have a flight to catch at ten go pack and have fun," Don said embracing both of them and gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek, "Noah will be well taken care of, I promise you that."

"I know he will, I trust you all more than anything," she told them.

Elliot and Olivia made their rounds giving out hugs and their thanks to everyone. Olivia held Noah for a while, cuddling him close and kissing his cheeks. Elliot wrapped an arm around her and rubbed Noah's back, "Liv, we have to go or we're not going to make it to the air port in time."

She nodded her head and kissed Noah once more, "I love you baby boy, so much. I'm going to miss you."

"Me too little man," Elliot said kissing his forehead, "We love you. Be good for everyone."


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: Thank you all for the follows/favorites/reviews, they really do mean so much to me. Let me know what you think and enjoy!

Elliot and Olivia had raced home packing their bags and jumping in a cab. They made it through the airport quickly and were currently on the plane awaiting take off.

Elliot took Olivia's hand in his, lacing their fingers together and kissing her knuckles, "I can't wait to have some time to ourselves."Olivia nodded her head and looked out the window. He squeezed her hand, trying to get back her attention, "Baby, what's wrong?"

She turned back to him, tears glistening in her eyes, "Am I a bad mother for leaving my baby by himself for a week?"

He wiped at the tear that was streaking down her cheek, "Liv, you are not a bad mother. He's not alone, he's with family, most of which are police officers. They had our backs for years, Noah's in good hands."

Olivia held his hand tight and rested her head against his shoulder, "I know, I just don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning him."

"He won't," Elliot said certainly. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "He knows you love him. He knows we're coming back to him."

"Are you sure?" she asked him in a quiet and meek voice.

"I'm sure," he smiled and ran his fingers through her hair, doing his best to reassure and comfort her. "You're his whole world. He'll miss you while you're gone and he'll remember you when you come back."

"I hope so," she sighed and closed her eyes.

Elliot held her hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles, kissing her temple and whispering reassurances into her ear.

They finally landed in Honolulu after a long flight that was intermittently disturbed with Olivia emptying the contents of her stomach into an air sickness bag and Elliot holding her hair out of her face and rubbing her back. He felt so bad that she was suffering through her morning sickness while in the close

confines of a plane and what was worse was that he couldn't do much to help her.

Elliot grabbed their luggage and Olivia got their rental car and they were on their way to the resort. Holding hands the whole way there they stared out at the beautiful scenery that surrounded them. They had never seen anything quite like this. There was a blue cloudless sky and they were surrounded by all of the beautiful flowers and trees. They passed through a small town area where everyone waved as they passed and enjoyed the quaint and warm feeling that they never got in the city.

Getting to the hotel they made it to the room and Elliot opened the door. "Stay here," he said motioning for Olivia to wait in the hallway.

She chuckled and had a feeling what he was thinking but she couldn't resist, "I can walk just fine by myself."

He dropped the luggage and turned back to her, "You take one more step and you're going to ruin my sweet gesture."

She huffed but smiled at him, "Well, I'm waiting."

He had a smirk on his lips as he walked back to her, "Someone's impatient."

"Fine, if that's how you want to play it," she scoffed as she went to move past him, only to let out a squeal as he scooped her up into his arms. "Elliot don't you dare drop me," she warned but was an empty threat as she wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled the whole way into the room.

He chuckled looking down at her. Her eyes were clenched tightly closed and she buried her face in his chest. "I would never drop you," he said confidently as he placed her feet back on the ground.

"I believe you," she said letting go of the death grip she had on him and dropping a kiss against his neck.

They took a quick sweep of the room, completely blown away. The balcony doors were open, allowing the warm salty breeze to filter into their large bedroom and they could hear the sound of the waves crashing. They had an amazing view of the clear blue ocean and white sandy beach. Walking further into the room Olivia saw the rose pedals that were laid throughout the room and on the bed.

Elliot walked through the sweet and looked into the bathroom that had a full Jacuzzi tub and an all glass spa shower, "This place is incredible."

"It's probably the most beautiful place I've ever been," Olivia added as she leaned against the railing on the balcony. Most of her adult life had been spent dedicating all of her time to the job, only taking time off because she was forced or when it was desperately needing. She had only ever been out of the

state a few times and aside from going away with Brian once to see his family, they had all been work related.

Elliot joined Olivia out on the balcony bringing his hands to rest on either side of her, pressing his body against hers, "How are you feeling?"

She wrapped her hands around his, "Much better, actually."

"Good," he murmured as she kissed her neck searching for her lips.

She pushed his face back, "Wait."

"Oh you don't want to..." he asked slightly confused.

"No it's not that," she clarified resting her hands on his forearms, massaging tiny circles over his marine core tattoo. "I haven't gotten a chance to brush my teeth yet, and I don't want to subject you to that on our honeymoon."

"Oh," he smiled, finally understanding. "Well go brush your teeth and do whatever else you need to. I'm going to get out of these jeans."

"Okay," she kissed his jaw, "two minutes."

Olivia rushed off to the bathroom, quickly brushing her teeth and looked through her bag trying to find the perfect lingerie for her waiting husband. _Husband_, she was never going to tire of saying that. She had a husband. The woman who had given up on love and the perfect life years ago now had it. She married her soul mate and had the life she had imagined for herself when she was just a girl.

Elliot looked out to the ocean and smiled. He was celebrating his marriage to the woman of his dreams. Olivia was everything, the total package. Knowing that she had in fact married him was almost too much to comprehend. His life had come full circle. A friendship that meant the world to him, crumbling away, a dying marriage the he thought he was doomed to be in forever, and a career that had blown up in his face had all but defeated him, but now he was on top of the world. He had a whole new life and was going to cherish every moment.

Elliot waited a few minutes and she finally came out. "Holly hell," he stuttered as he drank her in.

She stood at the foot of the bed wearing a white see through teddy with a ruffled top that showed her ample cleavage while still being tasteful. She had on a matching lace thong and her garter from the wedding. She was also wearing her blue pumps which accentuated her long tan legs, adding to her sex appeal if that was even possible.

She ran her hands up her thighs and over her body, tousling her hair, "You like what you see?"

"Mhm," he nodded and licked his lips, his eyes darkening as he looked her over.

She ran her finger up over her cleavage and down her side, "So what are you going to do about it, Stabler?"

"This," he crawled down the bed and stood on his knees, wrapping his hands around each of her thighs and pulling her closer. He moved his hands up squeezing her ass as he dropped warm open mouthed kisses across her chest and up her neck. He felt her shudder and moan as he started sucking and nipping at her skin. He slipped his fingers under the waist band of her panties and pulled on them. "C'mere," he growled as pulled her down on the bed and she gasped.

"El! You're crazy," she giggled as he moved over her, pure lust and hunger shining in his eyes perfectly reflected in hers.

He kissed her passionately, slipping his tongue between her lips and tasting her for the first time in what felt like forever. Leaving her lips he trailed kisses along her jaw and sucked on the shell of her ear, "Crazy for you."

"I figured that out," she moaned as he kissed his way down her body.

Kissing each breast and then the space in between that was his and his alone. Moving the teddy out of the way, he kissed down over her primarily flat stomach, aside from the tiny little bump. He dropped two kisses to their baby before moving lower and kissing his way down her thighs. Stopping at the garter, he grazed his teeth across her skin, taking the fabric in his mouth and pulling it down her leg

and dropping it on the floor, "I wanted to do that all day long."

"I've wanted to do this all day long," she groaned pulling his face down to hers and kissing him hard, and rolling him over so she was straddling his waist. She pulled back resting her palms on his chest as she starred down at him, "I love you so much Elliot."

"I love you too," he replied, sitting up and coiling his arms around her and holding her tight. "You're my world, Olivia Stabler, and there's nothing I can't do as long as your by my side."

She took his face and dropped kissed against his lips and forehead as they got lost in each other.

Elliot had his arm wrapped securely around her waist and had pulled her back against him. He kissed into her hair and rested his chin in the crook of her neck, leaving tiny kisses around her ear and cheek, "It's always so incredible with us." He felt her smile under his lips.

"It is," she sighed contentedly, "Married sex is definitely better than living in sin sex."

He chuckled but nodded his head, "If I would have known that I wouldn't have waited so long."

She turned in his arm and kissed his chest, "I still can't believe we're married."

"Believe it baby," he said leaving a sweet kiss on her lips.

She enjoyed the feeling of his lips on hers, the way she could feel everything he felt just in one simple kiss. "You know back in the day we felt like an old married couple but I never thought we actually would be."

"Did you just call us old?" He asked quirking an eyebrow.

"That's not what I meant," she chuckled and kissed his smile.

"I knew what you meant," he smiled, pushing some hair out of her face, "We worked better together than some married couples. I guess that was our cue."

"I guess so," she smiled nuzzling her face into his neck. Her stomach growled interrupting the sweet intimate moment they were sharing.

He laughed and rested his hand on her stomach, "Someone's hungry."

"Yeah," she agreed lacing her fingers with his. "I haven't eaten since the flight and that didn't turn out too well."

He kissed the crown of her head, "Well do you want to order some room service or go out?"

"Well," she said reaching for the menu on the night stand. "This salmon salad looks good, and no you don't need to eat healthy," she laughed already knowing Elliot wasn't going for that, "They have prime rib on here also."

"God you know me so well," he chuckled and kissed her cheek.

She dropped the menu and pushed him back on the bed, "Plus I don't even have to leave the bed."

"Let's at least order the food first," he chuckled as her hands roamed over his chest.

"If we must," she sighed rolling off of him and giving him the phone.

"You know you're hungry," he smiled and watched as she tried her hardest to keep a straight face but her lips curled upward. "It's my job to keep you happy and healthy," he kissed her temple.

She nodded her head and kissed his jaw, "I know, and you're doing a great job."


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: I am so sorry I couldn't update last night. I have been really busy with midterms coming up next week. I should still be able to update MWF next week though, but bare with me if I'm late. Sorry if I messed anyone up. I hope you like the chapter and please leave me your thoughts. Enjoy!

Olivia awoke the next morning feeling the warm breeze on her face and Elliot's arms wrapped tightly around her. She turned gently in his arms and dropped small kisses on his chest.

Elliot stirred and his eyes flickered open, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. "Good morning," he yawned.

"Good morning," she replied kissing his jaw.

He cuddled in closer to her resting his face in the crook of her neck, "How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes," she replied, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest.

He ran his fingers through her tousled curls, "I love waking up to you."

It wasn't just something for him to say and she knew it. His honesty startled her sometimes but she was getting more used to it every day, "I love waking up to you, too."

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, "I'm serious. Even back when we were partners and we'd sleep in the cribs or when we had takeout at your place and passed out on the couch and I would wake up to your beautiful face ... it's the most amazing feeling."

She turned towards him, capturing his lips with hers, "I felt the same way, babe."

"So, what do you want to do today?" He asked her, watching as she twirled her wedding rings around on her finger.

"Well we should definitely leave the room today," she chuckled, "At least for a little."

"I agree with you on that one," he smiled, "Let's get out of here and go for a hike or something."

She nodded her head, "That sounds like a good idea. I'm just going to grab a shower first."

"Okay," he said sitting up in bed and propping a pillow behind his back, "Do you want me to order any breakfast?"

Olivia gave him a peck on the lips and pulled the sheet around her, "Maybe just some fruit and toast. Thanks."

They got dressed and enjoyed a nice breakfast out on the balcony. Once they were finished they hopped in the car and were off to the hiking trail that was a couple of miles from the resort.

"This is beautiful," Olivia exhaled as she looked up the mountain overflowing with lush greens and vibrant colors.

He took her hand in his and dropped a kiss on her knuckles, "Not as beautiful as you though."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and covered his lips with hers, "You're too good to me."

"I'm just telling the truth," he took her hand back into his and they started on their hike.

They made most of the journey to the top in silence, simply enjoying one another and their beautiful surroundings. This was a type of beauty and tranquility that neither of them had ever experienced. For once in their lives they were allowed to just be together. No kids, no work, no distractions. Just them.

"I love you," Olivia said breaking the silence.

"I love you too," he replied wrapping an arm around her and pressing a kiss into her hair.

Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her pocket. Fin had sent a picture of Noah sleeping on his chest. He had his pacifier in his mouth and his blanket gripped in one hand and the other resting above his head on Fin's face, "He's got some energy! Wasn't too happy yesterday but we're good."

"Awe, look how cute he is, El. Those chubby cheeks," she sighed wrapping and arm around him.

He took the phone and looked over the picture, "Me too. We'll be back soon enough. Looks like Fin's got his hands full."

She chuckled , "Yeah, but he's really good with Noah. I think Alex's shift starts tomorrow."

"He's in good hands, Liv. Stop worrying," he rubbed soothing circles on her back. He knew how hard it was for her to leave him for a day let alone a week but he was thankful for the time they were getting to spend together. Once they got back to New York Olivia would be going back to work and he would start a couple weeks after and any down time they had would be flying straight out the window.

"It's not so much that I'm worried about him, just that I miss him so much," she confessed, burying her face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her temple, "I know you do."

She took a deep breath, breathing in the scent that was purely him. His arms that held her, his voice that soothed her, and his lips that always gave her warmth, they were all just him. No one else could catch her when she crumbled quite like he could. He never let her fall or suffer alone, he always picked her

back up.

"I'm okay," she breathed resting her hands on his chest and pulling her face back.

He pushed some hair away from her face and kissed her forehead, "Okay."

She took his hand and they continued on their way. Finally reaching the top they looked out over the cliff.

"I never thought I'd ever get to see a place like this," Olivia said as she snapped a couple of pictures with her phone.

"Me either. I'm just happy I get to see it with you," he said wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

They stood there, embracing one another for a few moments, watching the birds that flew by and enjoying the soothing sound coming from the crashing waves.

Olivia reached her hand back, running her fingers through his hair, "So how long do you think we should stand up here looking around?"

He chuckled against her neck. She was never going to be the woman who sat and enjoyed the scenery, even on her own honeymoon. "I think we gave it enough time. Let's head back and maybe go out to dinner?"

"Sounds wonderful to me," she kissed his lips, allowing them to linger against his. She took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead, "Can you do something for me?"

"Anything," he replied kissing her nose.

"Can you give me a piggy back ride?" She asked giving him her biggest smile.

He chuckled thinking she was joking but knew she wasn't, "Wait, you're serious?"

She dropped her hands from his face and shrugged her shoulders, "Kind of."

"Do you know how old I am?" He laughed but turned around, "Get on."

"Thank you baby," she smiled kissing the side of his face and getting on his back.

He let out a grunt before standing back up, "You gotta loosen your arms," he choked out barely able to breathe.

She pulled her arms back immediately and kissed the back of his head, "I'm sorry."

"You're okay. We aren't squishing the baby are we," he chuckled, reaching back to slap her butt.

"You're so bad, but no, baby Stabler is just fine," she smiled kissing his cheek.

They made it back to their room and laid down and took a nap. The luxury of taking a nap was something they very seldom got.

The first few months after Elliot retired from the force and hadn't started teaching was probably the first time in his life he actually had time to take a nap but he couldn't. In between therapy and dealing with the loss of the life he knew, his mind never stopped. It was constantly running, _Did I do the right thing? Should I go back? Is she okay? _Those were just a couple of the questions he asked himself over and over during the years he was gone but especially so in the first few months. He was lucky if he got three or four hours of sleep the first six months. Gradually though, it got better. The nightmares from the shooting went away, the constant second guessing faded, but the thoughts of Olivia never trailed too far from his mind.

Now though, sleeping with her in his arms, there wasn't any reason he couldn't sleep. The past few months he had slept more soundly than he remembered ever being able to in his entire life.

He was just about to wake her when her cell phone started ringing.

"Can you get it?" She mumbled turning her face into the pillow.

"Mhm," he reached across her and picked up the phone and saw it was Fin trying to FaceTime them. He pressed accept and nudged Olivia, "It's Fin and Noah."

"Okay I'm up, I'm up," she yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"Hey guys, I've got someone here who wants to say hello," they heard Fin say as he turned the phone towards Noah.

"Hi my sweet boy. How are you?" Olivia cooed watching as Noah's face lit up at

hearing her voice.

"Mama," Noah questioned reaching out to grab the phone.

"Yeah baby, I'm here," she smiled, taking Elliot's hand.

"Hey buddy," Elliot said, turning the phone towards him. "Are you giving Uncle

Fin there a run for his money?" he chuckled.

"Yes he is," Fin joked.

"Noah, Mommy and Daddy miss you so much," she told him.

"He misses you too. All he's been saying is mama and dada all day long."

"Awe little man, we'll be home soon. I promise," Elliot told his son.

Noah looked around the room, "Dada."

"Here Noah," Fin said, wiggling the phone in front of him.

Olivia felt Elliot squeeze her hand, "We love you, Noah."

"Love you baby boy," Olivia managed to get out just in time as Noah finally grabbed the phone and accidentally ended the call.

"I think we confused him," Elliot chuckled leaning back against the head board.

"Probably," she smiled and rested against him, "But I'm happy we got to talk to him for a little, made me feel better about not being there."

"Me too," he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his side. "How about we get ready and I take your out to dinner?"

She looked up and rested her hand on his cheek, running her thumb over his cheek bone and kissing his lips, "I love you."

He kissed her forehead and held her close, "I love you too."

While she was in the shower Elliot called down to the restaurant and made reservations. He pulled on a pair of dress slacks and a dress shirt that he rolled up the sleeves on. He was sitting on the end of the bed slipping on his shoes when she came out.

He hair was clipped back and she had on a lavender colored dress that hit just above the knees. It had spaghetti straps and a draped scoop neck line. She had on a pair of silver strappy heels that showed off her toned legs.

He stood up and took her in his arms, "You look beautiful."

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself," she said straightening his sleeves. She ran her hands up his forearms, "You know how sexy I think it is when you show off your arms."

"I do," he smiled. "Are you ready?"

She checked her lipstick and grabbed her clutch, "I am."

He held is arm out to her, "Let's go then."

They walked on the path through the resort and to the restaurant.

"Two for Stabler," Elliot said to the hostess.

"Right this way," the hostess motioned for them to follow her. They walked through two double doors and their table was set up on the beach surrounded by candles.

"Elliot," Olivia smiled, "This is beautiful."

He bent his head and gave her a kiss, "I wanted to do something nice for us."

She wrapped her arms around his middle and kissed him again, "Thank you. Wait I'll sink with my shoes. Hold on, I'll take them off."

"No need," he said as he scooped her up in his arms and walked her over the sand and to their table. Setting her in the chair and helping her push it in, "There you go."

"Thanks," she smiled and pecked his cheek.

He sat down opposite her and they enjoyed a nice romantic dinner. For two people who know everything about each other one could imagine it being difficult to keep up the conversation, but they would be wrong. The couple talked about everything, going back to work, finding a sitter for Noah, moving, the baby and anything else that mattered to them.

Elliot stood up and started walking away from the table, "Where are you going?"

"Just one sec," he said, stopping at the table that was set up with a stereo. He pressed a button and the melody of "Stand By Me" filled the air.

"We never got our first dance," Elliot said, walking back to the table and holding out his hand to her.

She quickly kicked off her shoes and took his hand, "You're so sweet."

"It's what you deserve," he said wrapping one arm around her waist and holding her close. He held one hand against his heart and her other cupped the back of his neck.

She rested her head against his shoulder and they swayed to the music.

_If the sky that we look upon_

_Should tumble and fall_

_All the mountains should crumble to the sea_

_I won't cry, I won't cry_

_No, I won't shed a tear_

_Just as long as you stand, stand by me._

Elliot rested his face against her cheek and kissed her neck, "There's nothing I can't do as long as you're by my side."


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: Don't be shy! Good or bad please let me know what your thoughts are. Thank you for reading/reviewing and enjoy!

The next two days they had spent most of their time walking around the island and going to all the local restaurants. Calm and relaxed days with passion filled nights. They had a couple days left and today they decided to head down to the beach for some sun.

Elliot threw on his swim trunks and his white beater and slipped on his sandals. "Liv, have you seen my sunglasses?" He yelled to her, opening the same drawer for the fifth time.

Olivia was amused, _He'd lose is head if it wasn't attached to his body,_ "Did you check by the TV? I think you set them there when we came in last night. Next to your hat maybe."

Sure enough the glasses were under his hat sitting directly in front of the TV, "Found them."

She shook her head as she walked out of the bathroom wearing her one piece

bathing suit.

"Oh baby," Elliot managed to get out once he finally saw her.

She gave him a coy smile, "Please I look like a grandma in this."

He pushed himself off of the wall and made his way towards her, "You most certainly _do not_."

She looked herself over in the mirror, "I bought this in the maternity section. It's the only decent looking one they had."

"I like it," he mumbled against her neck as he wrapped his arms around her, allowing his hands to rest on their baby, "Plus, it shows off the bump."

She rested her hands over his, "It does, but I don't look pregnant. I just look fat."

"You do not," he insisted, moving his hands from her stomach to her hips and turning her sideways in the mirror. "That little bump is our baby. You're supposed to look like that and as long as you know that nothing else matters."

She nodded her head and held his hands in hers, "I know. I'm proud that I'm getting a bump."

"Good because you should be," he kissed her cheek.

"I love you," she kissed his cheek and grabbed her pool bag.

"Love you too," he replied holding the door for her.

Back in New York it was finally Don's shift with his grandson. "So bud, what do you want to do today?" He asked Noah as he bounced him on his hip.

Even though he had always wanted a child of his own he never got the opportunity. He and Marge tried for a while and it just didn't happen for them. Looking back though it was probably for the best. Don was an up and coming detective and dedicated to the job, barely getting home three nights a week. The

drinking got out of control shortly after that and with Marge passing he couldn't imagine putting a child through all of that.

He was okay with that now because was a grandfather. He's Noah's PopPop and that was better than anything else. Noah had breathed life back into him. After retiring he had been bored with life. Not having to turn into work every day and running a whole precinct had left his life dull. He never realized how much he would miss it when it was gone but with Elliot and Olivia getting to together with Noah and a new grandchild on the way he had something better than a job. He had a family.

Don sat down on his sofa with Noah on his lap, "I can't wait until there's two of you running around here."

Noah just looked at him and babbled around the fist he stuck in his mouth.

"You're something else, Noah," Don smiled and kissed the top of his head. He dropped down on the floor and put Noah down in his play mat and watched as he crawled around from one toy to the next.

On the beach Olivia was reclined on her lounge chair reading a book and Elliot was snoring away on the chair next to her. They had been there for all of twenty minutes before she heard his light snoring.

Thinking back, Elliot was the first man she had been with who snored and she wondered how she put up with it. Considering that for the last 15 or so years she was on the force she spent most nights waiting for a call to pull her from her bed and now having Noah she listened for him and was amazed that she was able to sleep with him snoring. She remembered the one night she was laying in bed and Noah was asleep and Elliot was next to her sleeping as well and they were both snoring.

She smiled at the memory and wondered if the new baby would snore too. She couldn't wait to find out all these little things about the newest addition the same way she learned all the same things about Noah. How she knew that he liked to be held and cuddled before bed time or that he always preferred his blue baby blanket than his new yellow one when he was going to sleep and how he slept on his back with one hand over his head and the other over his little tummy. She rested her hand over the tiny bump, "I love you."

Two days later Olivia and Elliot were back in the city and on their way to the apartment.

"The honeymoon was exactly what we needed but I'm happy to be home," she said checking her phone.

"Me too," he agreed reaching over and taking her hand in his. He dropped a kiss to the back, "Let's agree that no matter what gets thrown our way we'll always make time for ourselves."

She smiled and nodded her head in agreement, "Deal."

Stopping at a red light he leaned over the console and gave her a sweet kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too," she kissed his cheek and they made their way home.

Don and Noah were in the apartment waiting for Elliot and Olivia to get home. Don was sitting on the couch watching Noah as he tried to pull himself up on the coffee table. Don reached down and helped Noah lift himself up so he was standing and holding onto the edge, "You're getting to be such a big boy."

Noah pounded his hands on the table and giggled as his pacifier dropped out of his mouth an onto the floor. He dropped back onto his bottom and picked it up and held it up to his PopPop. "Thank you little guy," Don smiled taking the pacifier from him. He helped Noah stand back up and kissed his head.

Don heard the lock turning in the door, "Looks like your mom and dad are home."

Noah turned to look over his shoulder, still holding onto the table, and his face lit up as Elliot and Olivia walk in, "Mama," he squealed.

Olivia dropped her bag and went to him, scooping him up in her arms, "Baby boy, I missed you." She kissed his chubby cheeks and cuddled him close to her. She ran her fingers through his hair, "Mama missed you."

Noah put his hands on her cheeks and gave her a slobbery kiss, "Mama."

"What about me?" Elliot said coming over next to Olivia.

Noah reached out of Olivia's arms practically lunging for Elliot. Olivia moved him to Elliot's arms and watched as he bounced him around making Noah giggle.

"Little man," Elliot cooed holding Noah up high on his chest. "I think he got bigger."

"I think his hair got longer too," Olivia added running her fingers through his hair.

"Guys, I promise he's the exactly the same as when you left him," Don chuckled getting up

from the couch.

"How was he?" Olivia asked giving him a hug.

"Great. I enjoyed having that time with him," he said hugging her back. "How was

the honeymoon?"

"Really good. Thank you again for doing that for us," Elliot said clapping Don on the back.

"It was my pleasure," he smiled. "Well I'm going to get out of here and let you guys have some time together." Don gave Noah a kiss on the forehead and followed Olivia to the door.

She pulled him into another hug, "Thank you for the trip and watching Noah."

"Not a problem. I love that little guy," he smiled.

"I have an appointment later this week so if everything goes well I'm going to tell the guys about the baby," she told him and saw the happiness in his eyes.

"Everything's going to be fine," he gave her hand a squeeze, "Let me know how it goes."

"I will," she replied and watched as he headed down the hall and closed the door. Olivia made her way back to Elliot and kissed Noah's cheek.

"What do you want to do tonight? Want me to make us some dinner?" Elliot asked her as he handed over Noah.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Not really. How about we just watch a movie in the bedroom and have some family time?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll grab us some drinks and get Noah his bottle. You go ahead and get him in his PJ's," he kissed her forehead and watched her walk off to Noah's bedroom.

Olivia laid Noah on his changing table and grabbed his pajamas from the drawer. She got his clothes off and changed his diaper. Noah stared up at her the whole time. She tickled him and blew raspberries on his belly, "I missed this little tummy." She put him in his onesie and took him into the bedroom.

"Can you watch him for a sec while I change?" She asked Elliot when he came in.

"Of course," he smiled watching as Noah crawled around on the bed and picked up his pacifier and put it in his mouth. Elliot laid down on the bed and Noah crawled over him, holding himself up against Elliot's chest.

"Dada," Noah said pulling himself up on Elliot.

"You got that one right," Elliot smiled picking Noah up and resting him on his chest. "I missed you while we were gone. I know your Momma probably doesn't think so but I did."

"I know you missed him," Olivia said reappearing from her closet dressed in

yogas and a t-shirt. "Even though you don't say it as much I knew you were

missing him."

He kissed Noah's cheek, "I love you little man."

Olivia watched for a moment as Elliot cuddled with their son before joining them in bed. "Did you bring his bottle?" She asked him as she picked up Noah and rested him in her arms.

"It's right here," he grabbed the bottle from the nightstand and gave it to her.

She took the bottle from him and offered it to Noah and he took it eagerly, wrapping his hands around the bottle and helping her guide it to his mouth.

Elliot draped an arm around her and dropped a kiss to the top of her head, rubbing a finger along Noah's foot, "I've missed this."

"Me too," Olivia agreed leaning back against him and patting Noah's diapered bottom as he continued to drink his bottle.

Noah was the only other man who held her heart and she had missed him terribly. Soon she was going to have another child and even though she still had months to prepare she worried that Noah would feel neglected or left out. She felt though that as long as she always made him a priority and could always be there for his bed times she felt like she was moving in the right direction. There was nothing quite the same to being able to be a mother to your child and have them fall asleep in the safety and comfort of your arms, knowing, that no matter what happened in the world around you, your child was safe.

Elliot held two or three, including their unborn baby, of the people that made up the world in his arms and he had never felt more content. Having your children far away from you was never something he was particularly good at dealing with. Maybe it was the protector in him or the fact that he loved all of his children so fiercely, but there was something so uncertain in knowing that if one of his children did need him he wouldn't be able to get there quickly to help them. Being close to his children again was probably one of the most calming affects of being back in the city.

He pulled Olivia and Noah closer to him and fell asleep to the gentle snoring coming from his son.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N:Sorry for the confusion. I proof on word before I upload my chapters here and for some reason it deleted ' name throughout which I was not aware of. Thank you MLN for pointing it out. Don't be afraid to let me know what you think, there is a lot of you out there. Enjoy!

"Great. I'll give her the good news. Thanks Jeanine," Elliot said and hung up the phone.

"Give who the good news?" Olivia replied coming back into the kitchen with Noah.

"You," he smiled giving her a kiss and taking Noah. "My apartment finally sold."

"Wow that's great," she replied as she went about making some tea.

"Plus," Elliot started waiting for her to turn to face him, "We got the full asking price."

Her mouth dropped slightly, she was shocked, "Don't joke around with me."

"I'm not," he smiled, doing nothing to help his case when she gave him her look with the raised eyebrow. "I swear, Liv. I'm being serious."

"That's amazing," she set her cup down and made her way back to Elliot and giving him another kiss. "I never thought it would sell and I honestly didn't think we'd make any money off of it."

"Well believe it," he smirked and kissed her again. "Now we can put this place on the market and start looking for a bigger place." He saw the unsure expression come across her face and felt the need to reassure her, "Only if that's what you still want to do. We don't have to move right away if you don't

want to. The baby will be fine in our room for a couple of months."

She loved him for doing that and always allowing her to make decisions on her terms but he wasn't understanding this time. "No, El. I want to move before the baby comes. I just..." she trailed off and looked down at her shoes and they blurred as the tears welled in her eyes.

"What is it Liv?" He asked her softly, lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes. Seeing the tears and watching as she fought so hard to keep them at bay broke his heart.

She let her head rest against the palm of his hand cupping her cheek and took strength from him, "I just want to make sure there's going to be a baby for us to move for."

"_Liv_," he practically begged. "You can't think like that... You just can't. Don't you think I have all the same worries running through my head like they do in yours?" She looked at him shocked by the raw emotion in his voice and eyes but didn't have time to respond before he started again. "I know how you think. I know you're scared and I know you worry that something bad is going to happen. I think all of the same things you do but I'm doing the best to be positive and believe in our child and it makes it so much harder to be positive if you're constantly thinking the worst."

Olivia just stared at him as she processed his words and dropped her head, "I'm not trying to be negative. Really, I'm not."

Elliot sighed and his shoulders sagged. He wasn't trying to make her feel bad or guilty about what she was feeling and he realized that's what had happened. "I didn't mean to yell or make you question what you're thinking and feeling, I just ... I guess I just wanted you to know that I understand you and that I'mtrying my hardest to be positive, for both of us."

She finally looked up at him and she knew this was hard on him but it didn't even compare to what is was doing to her, "Don't you think I wish it was easy and simple? I wish this pregnancy was a sure thing, that there weren't going to be complications and that the baby would be safe and healthy. But Elliot, this isn't some fantasy world that we're living in. This is real life. This pregnancy, this baby," she said resting her hand over their unborn child, "They aren't guaranteed. There's risks ... Very high risks that something could happen to this baby, but even with all of that, I believe in this baby."

"I'm sorry," he said guiltily.

She nodded her head and wiped away some of the tears that were making their way down her cheeks, "I have everything I've ever wanted and I'm just waiting for the day to come where it gets taken away."

"Liv," he whispered as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arm tightly around her. She buried her face in his chest and he rubbed her back, trying his best to soothe her. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you."

She felt Noah's hand tangling in her hair and she couldn't help but smile. She had everything she could possibly ever need or want right there in her arms and she was allowing her mind to get the better of her. "I know," she finally sighed, picking her head off of his chest.

He wiped away some of the tears, "I'm sorry for laying all of that on you."

She shook her head, "Don't apologize for being honest with me. I want us to talk about things like this. Keeping it bottled up and putting on a front like everything is okay doesn't work for us."

He nodded in agreement, "I know. You've just been dealing with all of your own worries and I didn't want to add mine to the pile. I wanted to be strong for you."

"And you are," she encouraged him, touching her lips to his. "But it's okay to have moments of weakness, I'm here for you. Even the strongest and bravest man I know needs to talk about his feelings once in a while and that's okay," she smiled and kissed him again.

He brushed some hair out of her eyes and kissed her forehead, "Thank you for always being there for me. I don't know what I would do without you."

"I feel the same with you. I'm so thankful every single day that I have you in my life," she kissed his cheek and turned her attention towards Noah, "You all ready to go to Mommy's doctor's appointment?"

Noah just smiled and babbled back to her as he reached out for her.

"I got the diaper bag," Elliot said throwing the strap to the _manlier_ backpack version he insisted on getting.

"Is his car seat still in the car?" She asked over her shoulder as she opened the front door.

"Yeah, I carried him in last night," he replied arming the alarm and following her out, locking the door behind him.

"So, I hear congratulations are in order?" Dr. Childs smiled walking into the room.

"Yes," Olivia smiled looking over to Elliot whose smile mirrored hers, "We got married."

"That's wonderful," she replied, taking a moment to look over Olivia's chart, "Did you have a honeymoon?"

"We did," Elliot chimed in, "It was a good vacation."

"Good for you guys," Dr. Childs smiled taking a seat on her stool.

"Do you want to take Noah out so she can do the ultrasound?" She asked Elliot as rolled the machine over.

"Actually, you should be far enough along that we can go right through your abdomen. If you just want to roll your shirt up a little we can take a look at the baby," she informed Olivia and Elliot took his seat again.

Olivia rolled her shirt up and pushed the waist band of her jeans down just a little bit.

"This might be a little cold," Dr. Childs warned squeezing some of the gel on Olivia's stomach, "Okay, let's get started."

Elliot held Olivia's hand and watched the screen as their baby appeared and Dr. Childs pointed out the tiny little arms and legs that had formed, "The baby is about two inches long now and weighs in at just about a half an ounce."

"The baby is that small and I already feel like I gained so much weight," Olivia sighed and Elliot chuckled.

"You're right in the normal range, you've actually only gained five pounds. A lot of what you're feeling is the fluid that's surrounding the baby so the bloating sensation makes it seem like you've gained more than you actually have," she informed Olivia, putting her mind at ease.

"Uh, do you think we could hear the heart beat?" Elliot asked . The sound of their baby's heartbeat was going to be the only sound that would ever be able to put their minds at ease.

"That shouldn't be a problem, let me just..." she trailed off moving the transducer over her stomach and turning up the sound so that the room was filled with the sound of the baby's heart beat.

He heard Olivia let out a breath and she laced her fingers with his.

"Sounds good, 150 beats per minute," she told them clicking off the sound and cleaning off the transducer.

Elliot handed Olivia some tissue and she wiped the remaining gel off of her stomach before sitting up and pulling her shirt down.

"How have you been feeling?" Dr. Childs asked Olivia as she marked some things down in her chart.

"Great actually. I've been relaxing like you said and have been keeping the stress down," she told and ignored the look she was getting from Elliot.

"You going to tell her, or should I?" He chimed in and was met by a stern look from Olivia but he wasn't going to back down from this one.

"What do I need to know?" Dr. Childs asked breaking through the starring match that was currently taking place in the room.

"She's starting back to work in about a week," he told and felt Olivia's eyes burning a hole through the back of his head, but he didn't care. This was her life and the life of their unborn child he was dealing with and he had to make sure that they would be okay.

Dr. Childs nodded her head. Her patient was never the one to sit back and do nothing and anyone who was expecting her to do that was delusional. "I'm alright with that as long as you aren't running around on the street chasing the bad guys. Light duty, staying in the office, and keeping the stress level down and I don't think we should have a problem. You also need to make sure you're eating or at least snacking throughout the day. I know you're busy but you need to put yours and the baby's health first. If for whatever reason there's a change and working is affecting you and the baby then we'll discuss your options then."

"Okay," Olivia said instantly, "My only priority is this baby, and I will do everything in my power to keep this baby safe and healthy."

Dr. Childs nodded her head in understanding and grabbed her chart, "Make sure to schedule an appointment for about four weeks. We'll be able to tell the sex by then if that is something you two would like to know. I'll print you out a couple of the photos from the ultrasound and a copy of the video if you'd like to show your family."

"Do you think now would be a good time to tell the rest of our family? I know the risk of miscarriage decreases the further along I get so..." Olivia asked before left the room.

"Everything is perfect. The baby is healthy and strong. There hasn't been any complications thus far and nothing is giving me any cause for concern. I think now would be a good time to tell them, let them share in your excitement," Dr. Childs encouraged her and also helping to put Olivia's worries at ease.

"Okay, thank you," Olivia nodded and with that left the room.

Olivia got off the table, fixing her pants and taking Noah from Elliot. She brushed past him and went for the door but Elliot grabbed her arm before she could open it.

"Wait," he sighed and she stopped walking, "Don't be like that, I'm only looking out for you and the baby."

Her resolve softened, she knew why he had outed her but it still felt like he went behind her back, "I know that, but I feel like sometimes you see me as this weak and fragile person now. I'm still the woman I was before I got pregnant."

He took her hand and pulled her closer to him, "Liv, you are the strongest woman I know, pregnant or not. I think you forget how well I know you though. You could be on your death bed and you'd still be out on the street tracking down perps. Nothing ever holds you back because you won't let it, but this time you need to take a step back."

"I just..." She sighed trying to find the right words, "I don't want to lose the respect I have at being CO because I can't do anything. It's already hard being a woman in what's considered a man's job, but I'm damn good at it and I deserve to be CO."

He understood her and knew how hard it was for her to be told that she has to cut back. He used to live for the job just like she did but that's not what either of them lived for now. "No one is going to lose respect for Badass Benson," he smiled and she chuckled. "You were an amazing detective and you're an amazing CO. Being pregnant is not going to change that. You can still do everything you used to do except go out on calls and you're right, you are damn good at your job and once the baby comes you can go back to being you're normal badass self." She smiled and he loved that smile more than anything. She lit up his world and he was just happy that he could make everything okay for her.

Olivia gave him a kiss and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. She ran her free hand through his hair letting it play with the scruff on the back of his neck, "I love you."


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: Sorry the chapter is late. It just wasn't where I wanted it to be last night so I needed the extra time. Don't forget to leave your thoughts and enjoy!

"Okay, Noah's dressed and ready to go," Elliot said coming into the living room with Noah on his hip.

Olivia looked up from the stove to see her happy little boy coming towards her, "There he is. You look so cute," she cooed as she took him in her arms. He was wearing jean shorts and a little Adidas zip up that matched Elliot's.

Elliot saw her look between him and Noah and chuckled, "This was purely a coincidence."

She smirked, "Was it?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I'm thinking that by the look on your face right now that you set us up for this."

"I did," she smiled. "I know how you pick out your clothes so I moved your zip up to the front of the closet."

He shook his head but chuckled, "You played me. You're lucky I love you so much."

"I know," she smiled and kissed him softly. "Is he wearing the shirt I laid out?"

Elliot checked the pizzas in the oven and turned down the temperature, "Of course. I wonder how long it's going to take everyone to notice it."

She shrugged her shoulders, "Well there's going to be a few detectives here so hopefully not too long or I'm going to have to seriously reevaluate who I have working for me."

He laughed, "I'd say so."

"I can't wait to see their reaction to the news though," she said half excited half nervous.

"They will be excited and happy for us," he murmured kissing her forehead, "I promise."

Elliot's kids as well as Don, Nick, and Fin were due at their apartment in about an hour to have a little get together to watch the Yankees game. Aside from Don, everyone was in the dark about the baby and they were going to tell the rest of the group today.

"I'll finish up in here, why don't you go relax with him for a while before everyone gets here," Elliot suggested giving her a gentle nudge towards the living room.

"Thanks," she kissed his cheek and laid down on the couch. Noah laid on her chest and stared up at her, "Well little man, are you excited to help mommy and daddy tell your brothers and sisters about the baby?" Noah just looked at her, his eyes getting heavier as she rubbed his back. "You're going to be the best big brother to your baby brother or sister," he rested his head on her chest and she ran her fingers through his hair. "You're my first baby and you'll always be special. You changed my life," she cooed kissing his forehead and holding him close, "I love you, Noah."

Elliot came from behind the couch and bent over, dropping a kiss to Noah's head and rubbing his back, "I love you too buddy." Olivia smiled up at him and he captured her lips with his, "Do you want me to take him to his room?"

She shook her head, "I'm just going to let him lay here with me for a little bit."

He nodded, running his fingers through her hair and kissing her forehead, "I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled, "Why don't you just check on the food and then come sit with us until everyone gets here?"

Elliot turned the stove off and made his way back to the couch. He picked up Olivia's feet and sat down, resting them on his lap. He ran his thumb up the bottom of her foot and he let out a grunt when she kicked him in the stomach. "Ow," he whined, rubbing his stomach.

She grinned, "Serves you right."

He rolled his eyes and went back to her feet, gently kneading and massaging them.

Olivia let a sigh escape her lips as she closed her eyes and settled against the couch, "You should do this more often."

"All you gotta do is ask, baby," he continued massaging her feet until he heard her breathing even out and her hands rested on Noah's back. He dropped her feet down on his lap and rested his head back against the couch and dozed off.

Olivia woke up to chubby little hands patting on her cheek. Opening her eyes she was met with two round eyes staring back at her, "Well hello there mister. Did someone have a good nap?"

Noah pushed himself up on her chest and tangled his fingers in her hair, "Mama."

"You're so silly," she kissed his cheeks, "You think it's time to wake daddy?"

Noah's face perked up and Olivia moved and sat him on the couch. He crawled over to Elliot and used the fabric on his jacket to pull himself up so he was standing. Noah patted his hands against Elliot's chest until he stirred.

Elliot surprised Noah by scooping him up and tickling him. Noah squealed in delight and his little arms and legs wiggled around as he tried to break free. "Did you have a nice sleep with your momma?"

"We did," she smiled and stretched out her back.

"Good," he kissed Noah's cheek and moved off the couch with him on his hip. "I'm gonna get him something to eat, he's probably starving. He slept through his lunch time."

"You're right. His sippy cup should be on his high chair and the chicken should be cooled down enough if you just want to give him that," she said getting off the couch.

"Okay," he replied setting Noah in his high chair and giving him his sippy. Noah instantly picked it up and took a long drink of water and then set it down with a long sigh. "You must have been thirsty," Elliot chuckled as he tore apart one of the dinner rolls, making sure the pieces were tiny enough for Noah.

Olivia watched as Noah pick up each piece with chubby little fingers and popped it in his mouth. Her little baby was growing so fast and time was flying. His first birthday would be coming in a month and a half and she just didn't know where the time had gone. She loved getting to spend all day with him and dreaded going back to work on Monday. He was so close to walking, he was talking and saying more words, or at least repeating what she told him to, her baby was growing up.

Elliot caught the glimpse of sadness in her eyes as she watched Noah feed himself and pulled her to him, "It's a good thing."

She looked up at him and he wrapped his arms around her, "I know."

"Plus we got the baby coming soon and Noah's hitting all his milestones and everything like that so he'll be more independent," Elliot said trying to soothe her worries.

"But he's still my baby and that's not going to change once the new baby gets here. He's still my everything and I'm not going to just brush him aside," she said slightly frustrated with him.

"Olivia, you know that's not what I meant," he sighed and dropped his arms from around her. "You'll see what I mean when you have to deal with two kids at once and how much easier it is because he can walk and talk more."

She grabbed his forearms and wrapped his arms around her again, "I trust you, you've got five to my one. I just hate that I have to go back to work. I don't want to miss anything."

He kissed her cheek, he understood how hard it was for her to have to leave Noah. Aside from the honeymoon, she had been with him 24/7 since the day she brought him home. "How about this, I will videotape the entire day and you can watch them when you come home after work? And when I go back in two weeks I'll wire this place with cameras so when someone else is here watching him we can still have every moment on tape."

She had to laugh at how absurd that all sounded but in all seriousness she would be okay with it. She took his face in her hands and covered his lips with hers, "I don't think all of that will be necessary but thank you for keeping me sane."

He kissed her again, "I'm just returning that favor for all the years you kept me from killing someone."

"Well someone had to," she smirked.

"I'm glad it was you," he said genuinely with nothing but love and gratitude in his eyes.

"Me too," she kissed him again until Noah broke up the moment by smacking his hands against his tray.

Pulling apart Elliot rested his forehead against hers, "I guess someone wasn't getting enough attention."

She chuckled and kissed his nose, "I think I know who he gets that from."

"Yeah yeah," he chuckled.

There was a knock at the door and Elliot opened it to see their family standing on the other side. Elliot hugged all of his kids and shook hands with Nick, Fin, and Don. "I'm glad you could all make it."

"Where else would we go, Dad?" Lizzie said hugging Olivia.

"Don't forget the family Yankee game is next weekend," Dickie reminded them after he hugged them both and went into the living room with Noah.

"Daddy," Eli yelled throwing himself into his father's arms.

"Hey buddy," Elliot said hugging his son tight.

"Hi Livvie," Eli said, moving to her arms.

She kissed his cheek and tousled his hair, "How's my big boy doing?"

"Good," he smiled, dropping down onto his feet and following Dickie and Noah.

Olivia took her turn hugging the rest of the group, "How have you kids been?"

"We're all fine Liv, you don't have to worry about us," Kathleen smiled taking a seat on the bar stool.

"Nice try, but I'll always worry about you guys," Olivia said honestly, looking around at the group huddled in her apartment. Every person who had ever really meant anything to her was here with her and it was truly heartwarming.

"How's married life?" Fin chimed in cracking open his beer.

"Good," Elliot replied, wrapping his arm around Olivia's waist.

"Fortunately I love him, so all is well," she chuckled, leaning into his side.

"Well, everyone grab some food, Fin's already helped himself to a beer but there's more in the fridge. I'll put the game on," Elliot said as he made his way through the group making himself and Olivia a plate.

Don took this opportunity to steal Olivia away for a moment and moved her out towards the hallway. "So I'm assuming everything went well?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

Realization flooded over her as she remembered she was supposed to call him after the appointment to let him know how I had went. "Don I am so sorry," she spoke with remorse, resting his hand on his arm.

Don shook his head, "Really it's okay, I know your busy. How did it go?"

"Really good," she smiled and pulled her phone out of her pocket to show him the picture of the sonogram she had taken, "Coming in at just two inches, Baby Stabler is healthy and strong."

Don stared at the screen, half in amazement and half in confusion. "That's really great, Olivia. I can't tell anything from this but as long as you and the baby are healthy that's all I care about," he smiled pulling her into a hug.

She held onto him tightly and imagined that this is how most fathers would interact with their daughters and she was thankful yet again to have him in her life. Pulling away she slipped the phone back in her pocket and looked out at the crowd, "We're telling them today actually so just act surprised."

He smiled and chuckled, "Will do."

They joined the rest of the group and Elliot had taken a seat on the end of the sofa and motioned for her to sit on his lap. She did as he requested, stealing a kiss as she grabbed her plate from the coffee table.

They enjoyed the game and the small talk. Olivia watched as Dickie gave Noah some pieces of his pizza, the way Elliot interacted with his children and how truly happy and content he looked when they were all together. He was such an amazing man and father, and she was beyond grateful that he was the father of her children.

She caught him staring at her out of the corner of her eye. She wrapped her hand around his and brought their joined hands to rest against their unborn child, silently thanking him for all he has given her.

He kissed her shoulder and pulled her back to rest against his chest.

"So how's my precinct, still intact?" She asked looking between Fin and Nick.

Fin shrugged, "It's fine, not the same without you though."

"I'm happy your coming back, it's hard being short staffed and missing our CO," Nick chimed in.

Olivia nodded, understanding exactly what they meant because she had felt the same way when Don had to take a leave of absence when he was Captain, "I'm excited to go back. I have missed SVU but I've enjoyed being home with Noah."

"And me," Elliot added, receiving a laugh from the whole group.

Kathleen rolled her eyes and chuckled, "You've probably just been bugging her the whole time."

"Have not," Elliot replied with a fake pout.

"Awe, why do you have to make him feel bad," Olivia joked, patting Elliot on the cheek. They looked at each other and he nodded, "Dickie why don't you take Noah's jacket on. He's probably burning up from playing with you guys."

"Okay," Dickie nodded and picked Noah up, setting him in his lap and unzipping the jacket, "There you go buddy."

"Oh my god," Lizzie squealed.

"What are you screaming for?" Dickie questioned, rubbing his ear.

"Are you serious?" Nick asked turning to look at Olivia who had a smile on her face.

Everyone turned to look at Noah. The front of his shirt said Big Brother and the back said Stabler #7 March 2015.

"That's so great," Maureen said, her voice full of excitement as she hugged her father and Olivia.

Fin was next, pulling Olivia into a hug, "I'm so happy for you, baby girl."

She smiled and hugged him back, "Thank you Fin, that means a lot."

He shook Elliot's hand, "You work fast."

Elliot tried to contain his laughter but a small chuckle escaped, "What can I say?"

"I called this," Dickie said, standing up and following his sisters in giving them his congratulations, "Now work on it being a boy."

Olivia chuckled, "I'll see what I can do."

Nicks hugged Olivia and shook Elliot's hand, "I've got her back."

Elliot nodded and was never more grateful that she had so many people who loved and cared for her.

"Wait," Eli said with a look of confusion. "I'm going to be a big brother again?" he asked his Dad.

"Yes buddy, you're going to have another baby brother or sister," Elliot told Eli and watched as he processed the information.

"Yes," Eli shouted and pumped his tiny fists in the air, "I'm going to be just like Dickie."


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: Hope you are still enjoying the story. Here is some more.

Olivia had woken up before the alarm went off and was enjoying the peace and quiet. Her head was resting on Elliot's chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around her. Elliot's soft breathing was so soothing and had this calming effect on her that she had almost drifted off but that hope was shattered when the sound of the alarm blared throughout the room.

Elliot groaned and slapped at the alarm until the noise died. "I don't want you to go," he murmured, turning into her arms and burying his face in her neck.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him to her. Her fingers ran through his hair as she dropped kisses onto the top of his head, "I know baby, I don't want to go either." Never had anything been more true. She wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her days wrapped in his arms at home with her family but that couldn't happen. With the baby and finding a new place, they needed her income, not to mention she would go stir crazy without a job and the fact that she was pretty sure that if she didn't return soon she would get fired.

He sighed, enjoying the feeling of comfort he got anytime she was in his arms, "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you to," she whispered against his cheek, leaving kisses on the side of his face.

He made his way to her lips, kissing them softly but full of passion, resting his forehead against hers, "Just promise me you'll be safe."

"Always," she replied honestly and certainly before kissing him again.

"Okay. I trust you, more than anyone else on this planet," he kissed her collar bone, and rested his head back down on her chest.

"I love you so much," she cooed, snuggling down with him under the warmth of their blanket.

He kissed her again and holding her tightly, "I love you more than any words could ever possibly explain."

"Don't make me cry," she whispered, hiding her face in his chest.

He ran his hands through her hair, knowing that it soothed her, "Please don't cry. I wasn't trying to do that. I just want you to always know how much I love you."

She nodded her head against his chest and he felt the teardrops hit his skin. "I don't want to go," came her muffled cry, as her body shook.

His heart broke for her, "I know, I know. Just calm down, you're going to be okay. As soon as you walk in there and get back into the swing of things, you'll be fine." He felt her nod against his chest, "You're strong, you can handle anything that comes your way."

She kissed his chest, "I love you."

"I love you too," he kissed her deeply, pushing back on the bed and hovering over her. His lips trailed over her jaw, back to her ear, and down her neck until they heard Noah's babbling and the beginnings of a cry come through the monitor.

Olivia chuckled at the frustrated sigh that escaped his lips, as he flopped down next to her, "We can pick up where we left off later tonight."

"You promise?" He asked, sounding like a kid in a candy store.

She moved on top of him until she need air, "I promise."

"Okay," he said breathlessly, pulling her face back to his and claiming her lips.

She took his face in her hands, savoring the taste and the feel of his lips on hers before reluctantly pulling away, "Someone has to get Noah before he starts screaming."

"I'll get him and you can get a shower," he gave her a quick peck before helping her off of his lap.

She wrapped the sheet around her and made her way to the bathroom, "I want to give him his bottle before I leave."

"Okay, I'll get it ready for you," he smiled, throwing on his shirt and leaving her to shower.

Olivia came out in a pair of black dress pants, a blouse, and a matching blazer that perfectly concealed the small bump that had begun forming, "Does this look okay?"

Elliot did a once over, "You look great."

"Thank you," she replied giving him a sweet kiss. He handed her the bottle as she picked Noah up out of his high chair and made her way into the living room.

Elliot watched as she starred down at Noah. The care she took in cuddling him close and making sure he knew she loved him. She was truly an amazing mother. He moved over to them and sat down next to her, letting rest against his chest. He kissed her cheek, "You are a good Mom. Don't doubt that because you have to go to work. He knows you love him more than anything."

She kissed Noah's head as he finished his bottle and drifted off in her arms, "Mommy is going to miss you sweet boy."

Elliot kissed her temple and checked the time, "You have to go or you're going to be late on your first day back."

Olivia kissed Noah's cheeks and forehead. "I love you," she whispered to his sleeping form. She let Elliot take him into his arms and put him in his crib.

Coming back out he took her in his arms and kissed her, "I love you. Have a good day back. We'll be waiting for you."

"I love you too," she said kissing him once more before grabbing her gun from the lock box and strapping it on the waist band of her pants next to her badge. She grabbed her cellophane, purse, and keys and was out the door.

Walking into the 1-6 she was greeted with Congratulations from almost everyone. Most of them on Noah and some on the wedding, which she wasn't even sure how most of them knew about. She made it to her office pretty much unscathed, closing the door behind her. Sitting down in her chair she took out a couple new pictures she had brought with her to fill the frames on her desk. One of Noah, one of her and Elliot on their wedding day, and another of them with all of Elliot's children.

The door slammed open as Fin walked into the office.

"Wait what happened to knocking?" She joked.

"No time, four year old girl kidnapped from a park fifteen minutes ago," he rattled off from the note he had made when he got the phone call.

"Grab Nick and Amanda, I'll call for the dogs and meet you in the car," she replied watching him leave and picking up the phone to make the call. It was going to be a long day.

She finally made it back to her office around noon and was greeted by Elliot and Noah. "How long have you been waiting?" she asked kissing him and taking Noah.

He checked his watch, "About a half hour, but no big deal. I brought you some lunch." He pulled out a chicken salad from the take out bag and set it on her desk.

"And how are you little man?" She cooed. Noah smiled at her and giggled as he slobbered around his fist and nuzzled into her neck.

"He's been good. After his nap we had some lunch and then I took him down the street to the playground," he told her taking a seat on the chair next to her desk. "How has your day been?"

She shrugged her shoulders, sitting down in the chair and putting Noah on her lap, "Busy, we having a missing little girl with no leads. It's been tough."

He nodded in understanding, "Children were always the hardest ones."

She kissed the top of Noah's head and opened her chicken salad, "I never really understood it though, until now. Now that I'm a mother, I can't even picture going through that. The pain her parents are going through, that would tear me apart."

"You can't think about it that way. These parents need you to be the strong one, to be the person who can bring their daughter home. You're not a parent on cases like this because if you let that come out, it's impossible to work it," he told her, remembering all of the cases he had worked when all he had wanted to do was go home and protect his children.

"I understand now why it was so hard on you," she said making eye contact with him and hoping he knew that she _did_ understand him.

"Just don't let it consume you," he advised. "When you come home, talk to me, let me in and let me help you. Keeping it inside isn't healthy."

She let out a sigh, "But you left this job so you didn't have to deal with the victims and sadness anymore. I don't want to bring that back to you."

He moved to her chair and kissed her forehead, "There isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do for you. Whenever you need to talk to me, about _anything_, you talk to me."

She took his hand in hers and kissed his palm, "You are truly the best man and I am so lucky that you're mine."

"I'm the lucky one," he replied capturing her lips with his. "Now eat, I have to keep you and the baby full or I'm not doing my job."

She chuckled and shoved a forks full into her mouth, "See I'm eating."

He chuckled watching her scarf down the rest of it, "When do you have to disclose?"

"Huh?" She asked slightly confused.

He took her empty container and threw it away, "About the baby. When do you have to tell them that you're pregnant?"

"Ugh," she sighed, "I forgot about that. Honestly that's the last thing I want to do. Maybe I'll just wait until it's obvious that I'm pregnant."

"Whatever you think is best, but I think if you just get it out in the open it would be better. You know how they get with things like this," he said arguing his point.

She shrugged, "Maybe I'll just email it to them."

He couldn't help but smile, she would forever practice avoidance. "I don't think that would go over too well, but if you want I can go with you?"

"Did you forget the part where you pretty much pissed off everyone when you worked here?" She chuckled and was happy when he got that mischievous glint in his eyes. "So as much as I would _love_ for you to go with me, I don't really think you would help my case."

"I guess you're probably right, but I would go and even kiss ass for you if that's what you needed me to do," he replied kissing her lips softly.

They were interrupted when Nick walked through the door, "Sorry guys I didn't know you were here."

"It's fine. What's up?" Olivia asked wiping at her lips, and motioning for Elliot to do the same since he had some of her lipstick on the corner of his mouth.

He brought her over the paper, "We might have a lead. Turns out Mr. Williams isn't the biological father and Mrs. Williams is thinking maybe her ex has something to do with the kidnapping." He picked Noah up from her lap, bouncing him around the office tickling him and making him giggle.

She looked over the paper, "He has a record and he just got out a month ago,

pick his ass up."

Nick gave Noah to Elliot and was on his way.

"I'll let you get some work done, I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay," he said kissing her.

"ByeBye Noah, momma loves you," she kissed his forehead. "Love you too," she kissed Elliot.

"We love you too," he kissed her again.

She helped him with diaper bag and watched as her whole world walked out of her office.

Sitting back down at her desk she got started on the mountain of paperwork she needed to catch up on from the last month. She thought about her conversation with Elliot and when the right time to disclose was. Maybe he was right? Maybe she should just get on top of it and tell them now, just get it out of the way and over with? With everything in her life, her last worry was pissing off her bosses, but she hopped they would be understanding. That was it, she decided to tell them.

Finally making it home that night, it was after 8 but she hoped Noah was still awake so she could do bath time with him, "El, I'm home." She dropped her bag and slipped her shoes off and made her way through the apartment.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in," Elliot smiled from his seat beside the

bathtub.

"Mama," Noah squealed in delight reaching for her.

She kissed Elliot and rolled her sleeves up, "Are you having fun in your bath?"

"Wa wa," he said splashing the water, getting both of his parents wet.

"Good boy, Noah. You're such a smart boy," she encouraged, pouring some of the warm water over his tummy.

"How was the rest of you day?" Elliot asked her, dumping some baby shampoo into her hands so she could wash Noah's hair.

"Good," she smiled, "I told them I was pregnant."

"How did they take it?" he asked her, washing as Noah continued playing with the little toy boat that was floating around in the water.

"Surprisingly well. They gave me the same run down as my doctor as far as chasing after perps and things of that nature but other than that I'm free to carry out the rest of my duties as CO. Once the baby comes I'll be on maternity leave and they'll have a temporary replacement come in," she told him rinsing Noah's hair.

"I'm so proud of you," he said wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her cheek.

"Me too," she chuckled, "I really didn't want to."

Elliot put some baby wash on Noah's dinosaur wash cloth and lathered it up, "I'm happy you did though. You would have worried about it the whole time."

"You're probably right, I'm happy I got it out of the way," she smiled watching as Noah giggled when Elliot washed under his arms. "I also talked to them about my hours."

"And?" He asked, momentarily tearing his eyes away from Noah as he tried to read her face.

"Well, they said that I can start working from eight to six and that I'll only get called in if it's absolutely necessary. As long as I get my paperwork done and nothing falls through the cracks that I can keep this schedule until maternity leave," she told him as if it was the most normal thing.

"Wait, how did you get them to agree with all of this? This doesn't sound like the same pricks I used to deal with," he said handing her Noah's towel so she could catch him.

"I threatened to quit. Told them I would take my pension and tell any number of lawyers that I know how they treated a pregnant woman who had spent almost half of her life on the force. So, they shut up and gave me what I asked for," Elliot looked at her stunned as he got Noah out of the tub and put him in

her arms. She cuddled Noah in his shark towel and put the hood up, drying his hair.

"I love it when you're Badass Benson," he said taking her face in his hands and kissing her until they were both breathless.

She pulled back, her face flushed and her lips red a swollen, "God do I love you."


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: Thank you to all of you who continue to read and review this story. Enjoy.

"So, one week back. How's it feel?" Amanda asked Olivia.

While Olivia and Amanda were never close, Olivia had decided to give her a clean slate. Everyone makes mistakes, even her, so she decided to let Amanda start over. She was good at her job and she got results, and maybe it was the hormones, but she enjoyed having another woman to talk to.

"It's been good. I'm thankful for the new hours. I can get home early enough for dinner most of the

time and I get to spend a lot of time with Noah. I love SVU but it's just not the only thing in my life," she told the younger woman.

Amanda smiled, enjoying and forever grateful to Olivia for allowing her to try to make some of her mistakes right and for being able to have moments like this. The times when they weren't a detective and Captain, but when they were just two women bonding. "That's great. Good for you, really. I'm happy your getting along well."

"Thanks, why don't you get in there and give that guy a go? The guys can't crack him, maybe a woman's touch will do it," she nodded towards the interrogation room.

"Thank you," Amanda nodded as she left the room.

"How are you feeling?" Nick asked her, closing the door to interrogation.

"I'm good. I had some lunch and I'm pretty much on ass duty, and honestly, I'm okay with it," she said walking into her office, Nick following her.

"Good, I just want you to take it easy. If you ever need anything just let me know," he said dropping a pack of peanut butter crackers on her desk. "Don't forget to snack, they used to help Maria when she was pregnant."

"Thanks Nick," she said sincerely. "How is everything with Maria?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Good I guess. I've just accepted that it's over. It wasn't healthy for us and she made her choice. I just want to get my daughter back."

She rested her hand on his shoulder, "You're a good father. You'll get her back. And as far as Maria goes, I think you made the right choice."

"That means a lot, Liv. I'm gonna go check in on the interrogation, see how Amanda's doing in there," he said before walking out the door.

She sat down at her desk, grabbing her bottle of water and opening the pack of crackers. Elliot was spending the day with Maureen and Noah and had promised to send a picture. As if on cue, her phone buzzed with one new message. It was from Elliot and it contained the picture she had been waiting on.

It was Maureen sitting on the swing with Noah on her lap. Both of them were smiling and happy. The message said: _Wish you were here. See you tonight. We love you._

"I love you too. Give Noah a kiss for me," she replied.

"Hey Mo, do you want to go grab some lunch?" Elliot asked his eldest daughter as she swung with his youngest.

Watching her made the memories when she was a child come flooding back. His little girl with blonde ringlets and bright blue eyes. She was a beautiful child, full of such love and light. Sometimes he wondered how a kid like himself got lucky to be her father. He was young and stupid and she still turned out to be an amazing young woman. He attributed most of her success to Kathy being a great mother but most of it was Maureen. She was bright and self sufficient even at a young age. Everything she wanted out of life she had gone out and gotten for herself.

"Sure Dad," she said hopping off the swing with Noah.

He took Noah and strapped hi into the stroller, "Where do you want to go?"

She grabbed the diaper bag and shrugged, "We could go down to that diner on the corner?"

"That works for me," he replied and they started on their way.

"Did you find a sitter yet? I remember Olivia talking about it last weekend," Maureen asked her father after they found a booth.

"No not yet. I think she's actually putting it off because she doesn't like the idea of him having to be with a stranger," Elliot told her, looking over the menu.

They ordered their drinks before she spoke again, "Well I've been thinking, and since you only need a sitter three days a week, why don't Kathleen and I both take one day and then have Don take the other?"

"I can't ask you all to do that," he said shaking his head. "You have busy lives of your own and I don't want to add to that."

"Dad," Maureen stopped him, reaching over and squeezing his arm, "We want to. I talked to Kathleen and Don already and they're on board. We all love Noah and we all have the time in our schedules to do it. All you have to do is let us."

He thought it over and it really did solve their problem, but he didn't want her to feel forced into helping them, "Are you sure?"

Her reply came instantly, "Yes."

"Thank you," he said gratefully, getting up and hugging her.

"You're welcome, Dad."

Olivia had gotten stuck at the precinct until after 12 that night. Two college rape cases and a rape homicide had kept her detectives busy, as well as herself. Walking through the door to the apartment, she quietly shut the door and rearmed the alarm. She dropped the case files she needed to review on the dining room table along with her lap top. Making it into the kitchen Elliot had left her a note

saying her plate was in the microwave all she needed to do was hit start. She did as instructed and grabbed a bottle of water just as her stomach growled.

"I know, Mommy forgot to eat little one," she whispered, resting her hand on her bump. "Don't tell Daddy," she said smiling to herself.

She took the plate out of the microwave and sat down at the bar to have her dinner, steak, potatoes, and asparagus. Elliot being a good cook was a godsend. Over the years she had expanded on her cooking skills but having a husband who could cook was by far way better than having to do it yourself.

Once she was done she cleaned up and went off to check on Noah. He was asleep in his crib with both arms over his head. She watched the rise and fall of his chest as he took every breath, the little snores that escaped every so often. She reached in and brushed his hair back off of his forehead, it was getting longer by the day. His eyelashes fluttered against the tops of his cheeks as she ran her finger under his chin. She felt so guilty for missing his bed time tonight, it was her favorite part of the day. Cradling him in her arms as he finished his bottle and watching him drift off into a peaceful slumber was what made her day. No matter how exhausted or upset she was, five minutes with Noah and none of that even mattered.

She bent down and kissed his little fist, "I love you, Noah. Sleep tight." She switched on the night light that threw stars on the ceiling and closed his door, leaving it open just a crack.

Elliot was asleep when she pushed the door to their bedroom open. He was lying on his stomach, shirtless, with the cover draped over his backside and the tops of his thighs. He was beautiful. She loved this man more than she ever thought was possible and just being in his presence, awake or not, could leave her breathless. She stripped off her work clothes and threw on one of his T-shirts before climbing into bed next to him.

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his shoulder blade. He stirred but didn't wake up so she kissed across his shoulders, moving her lips around to his neck. She moved up to his ear, sucking gently on the outer shell, finally getting his attention.

He murmured something before turning over on his back and opening his eyes. "Thank god it's you," he smiled.

"Who else would it be?" She chuckled.

He shrugged, "Don't know but it doesn't matter now." He pulled his head off of the pillow to take her lips with his. Gently coaxing her lips open, his tongue slid over her lip to explore her mouth. His hands trailed down her back, resting on her perfect bottom. He pulled back to look at her, "How was your day? No bull shit."

She sat back against his legs, "Very long and stressful. I felt terrible for missing his bed time but I'm happy to be home."

"I missed you... _We_ missed you, but I understand and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I know that you probably tried everything you could to get back in time," he said sincerely.

She nodded and appreciated that he knew how hard the job was sometimes and how she truly felt since he had been in her exact position once before, "I did, but don't get used to it. I'm putting my foot down to get home to you two every night so I can have dinner with my family."

"You're an amazing mother," he replied, kissing her again. "I have some good news for you," he whispered moving back to her ear.

"What's that?" She asked, pulling back to look down at him.

"I found us a sitter. Well, sitters I guess," he said.

She raised a brow, "And who would they be?"

" Maureen, Kathleen, and Don. They volunteered to watch Noah, each taking a day," he told her, hoping she would be receptive and open to the arrangement.

"Really?" She asked. He nodded his head in response. "Well, at least Noah would be with people we trust. What do you think?"

"I think we should let them watch him, Maureen wouldn't let me fight her on it anyhow. Let's face it, my kids always get their way," he chuckled.

She smiled, "They do, but they're really great kids. I'm so lucky they care so much about me and Noah, and I'm thankful that our family wants to help us."

He nodded, "So it's settled then."

"I guess so," she smiled, "I'll call them tomorrow and set up which day they each want to do."

"Okay," he whispered, ending the discussion as he claimed her lips again. "Do you know how beautiful you are?" he murmured against her skin.

"I should be saying that to you," she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer to her, "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

"Guys aren't beautiful," he said, his voice gruff.

She stopped kissing him and took his face in her hands, removing his lips from the flushed skin of her neck. She tilted his face up until she had his eyes, "I know that's some male complex thing you've got going on but you are. You have a beautiful soul and a gorgeous body. Your eyes, I get lost every time I stare into them. The way you love me so completely, the way you love your family, proves what a great man you are. So yes, Elliot, you are a _beautiful_ man." She knew he got the message when he stared at her with nothing but love in his eyes and she kissed him again. Laying him back down against the mattress she kissed down his jaw and against his neck, "I love you."

His hands moved up her thighs, "I love you too." His hands continued to roam, working their way under the bottoms of her boy shorts.

She kissed her way down his neck and over his chest, working her way down his abs to the waist band of his boxers. Her hand scooped under the material of his shorts to find he was ready for her. "That has to be a record," she purred, pulling down his boxers and dropping them on the floor.

"It's all you baby," he growled, pulling her back up to him and wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed down her neck and his hands found the hem of her shirt before making their way up over her stomach, brushing the bottoms of her breasts. She moved her arms from around him and allowed him to pull the T-shirt off over her head. "I am never going to get tired of these," he said against her breasts as he kissed them.

"Well you've got them for the next six or so months, so enjoy them," she said against his lips as she pushed him back down on the bed and he pulled off her panties.

He flipped her over and kissed her hard, feeling her moan against his lips. He felt her legs wrap around his waist while her hands trailed up his back and he had never felt more safe or loved. "I love you," he murmured, taking her face in his hands and looking deep into her eyes, "I really, _really_ love you and I can't even describe how loving you affects me."


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: Thank you to all of you out there who continue to read and support this story and myself. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Olivia landed on the bed with a thud. "This is ridiculous," she sighed, closing her eyes and mentally giving up for the day.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked opening the door to the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets rolling down his chest.

"My pants don't fit," she mumbled, turning her head to face him.

He moved towards the bed where she laid, her upper body on the mattress and her legs dangling over the edge, "What do you mean your pants don't fit?"

"Like, they don't fit, Elliot," she said exasperated, once again trying to button them.

"Well," he smirked, moving towards her legs grabbing and pulling the ends of her pants the whole way off of her, "I guess you aren't wearing pants then." He threw her pants on the ground and crawled up her body, resting his body against the thin lace of her panties.

She smirked at the feel of him, "Now how is this going to help me with my current predicament?"

"I'm not sure," he mumbled into her hair, "But making love to my gorgeous wife always makes my problems go away."

She pulled at his towel getting it off of him and throwing it to the floor, "Let's find out if making love to my husband will make my problems go away."

He nuzzled into her neck as he wrapped his arms around her body and moved her up the bed, "It's my favorite problem solving method."

She chuckled against his lips, "I'm sure it is."

They were both breathing and panting heavily as they came down from their respective highs.

Elliot brushed his nose against her collarbone, resting his head against her chest as her arms cradled him against her body, "Did it work?"

He felt her smirk against the top of his head, "Yes, but now I need a new T-shirt and a pair of pants that fit me."

"And a pair of panties," he smirked, looking at the ones she was wearing laying on the floor, crumpled and torn.

"Yeah," she replied slapping his shoulder, "You need to work on not ripping apart every pair I own. They're expensive."

He looked up to see her mock glare but knew she liked the aggressive passion filled love sessions they usually had just as much as he did, "Well maybe you should stop wearing them."

She raised an eyebrow, "Now why would I do that?"

"Because," he murmured, leaving a trail of kisses up her chest until he met her lips. "They always end up on the floor anyway."

She smiled against his lips as he kissed her deep and passionately, taking his bottom lip between hers before parting, "I'll take that into consideration."

"Okay," he breathed out, claiming her lips again. He would never get enough of her lips. How soft they were, the way they melded to his, how she would always feel like home.

She pulled back, running her hands through his short hair and kissed his forehead, "As much as I enjoy this, we need to get ready before Noah gets up and we are supposed to meet your kids at the stadium in an hour."

"If we must," he joked, kissing her once more before rolling off of her and grabbing a pair of boxers. "We have those jerseys the kids gave us, so that solves your shirt crisis."

"Now onto pants," she replied, slipping on another thong and looking through the closet for pants.

Elliot moved in behind her and cupped her perfect ass in his hands, "I still vote no pants."

She pushed back against him, eliciting a groan, "If only that wasn't considered inappropriate for a pregnant middle aged mother."

"Baby, there's nothing middle aged about you," he corrected, wrapping his arms around her middle and allowing his thumb to caress the smooth skin of her hip.

"Thank you for that," she replied, turning her head to capture his lips. They stayed in the embrace a moment longer as she looked over her shelves once more,

"It looks like leggings are going to have to do until I have time to go shopping."

"Are you trying to kill me," he growled against her neck and she giggled, "All day staring at your ass, covered with some of the thinnest and tightest material I think has ever been made. It's torture."

"_Oh_ _please_. You're a big boy, you can handle it for a few hours," she chastised but her approach softened when she saw the small frown that was replacing his features.

"Yeah Olivia, I can. All I am trying to do is make you feel good, make you feel beautiful because you are," he said dejectedly walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge.

She pulled on a pair of leggings before making her way back to him, "I'm sorry for brushing you off like that. I know you're trying to make me feel better about my body, and I love you for that." She took his face in her hands and lightly pressed her lips to his, allowing them to linger before moving up and kissing

his forehead. "My confidence in my body just isn't where it once was," she confided, threading her fingers through his hair as his hands came to rest on her hips.

"You're beautiful, no matter what you look like. Whether you gain twenty pounds or fifty, whether you're in sweats with your hair in a pony tail or you have on some fancy dress, you will always beautiful to me. From the day I laid my eyes on you, there has been no one else who could even compare to you," he told her honestly, giving her hips a light squeeze as he kissed her lips.

She had seen this side of him for a little over six months now but it still always caught her of guard that he loved her as much as he did. Sometimes it was still so hard for her to believe that he was hers ... _forever_, and that she was in fact worthy enough of his love, the same way he was of hers. "I love you," she mumbled against his lips.

"They should be around here somewhere," Elliot thought aloud as they approached the stadium. Elliot and Olivia were hand in hand both wearing their Stabler Yankee's jersey and Elliot had Noah on his hip, wearing a matching child's sized jersey.

"They're over there," Olivia said pointing towards Elliot's children where only Dickie was visible above the crowd.

"Hey, you all ready?" Elliot asked his kids, holding up all of the tickets.

"We are," Kathleen replied as she hugged her father.

Elliot handed out all of the tickets and watched as one by one they filed through the gates, waiting for the rest of their family to make their way to the other side. He was the last one to join the group and Eli ran up to him.

"Daddy! Am I gonna catch a ball?" Eli asked. "I brought my glove and everything!" He said showing off his little mitt.

"Maybe, depends if they hit a foul ball or not. Hold Olivia's hand for me buddy," Elliot told his youngest, as the group started on their way to their seats.

"Sure," Eli answered, grabbing the hand Olivia had outstretched to him.

"How's school Eli?" Olivia asked him as he swung their linked hands back and forth.

"It's good. First grades fun, we get recess," he smiled the patented Stabler grin, except that his had a couple missing teeth.

"That's good," she smiled, tousling his curly hair. "How did your summer class finish Dickie?"

"Good," he shrugged, "I got a B-, _thank God_."

"How about you Lizzie? It's your last year," Elliot asked jumping into the conversation.

"Good," she replied, pulling her long blonde locks up into a pony tail, "Time flew by though."

"It tends to do that. I don't even know how you all grew up so fast, I feel like it was just yesterday Maureen was in diapers," he said, reminiscing on all the memories of the past.

"Well we're not done growing up yet, we'll always need our Dad and plus you have another on the way," Maureen said over her shoulder as they walked down the steps to their seats.

Elliot and Olivia share a knowing look. Both of them were thankful and extremely grateful that all of his kids had been very accepting and even excited about the baby. "If you guys could watch Noah and Eli we'll go grab some food and drinks?" Olivia said as they filed in their row.

"Sure," Lizzie smiled, taking Noah from her Dad.

"I'll take Eli down to watch them practice," Dickie said.

"Alright!" Eli cheered as he jumped off of his seat and followed Dickie down the steps, his curly hair bouncing as he jumped down each step.

"Thanks guys. Txt me what you want," Olivia smiled before taking Elliot's hand and following him back up the stairs.

"What are you in the mood for?" Elliot asked her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and holding her to him. The line was long but that allowed them some alone time.

"I really want a hot dog but they say that's not good for the baby. I'm thinking some fries with gravy and cheese," she said, her mouth instantly watering at the thought of how good they were going to be.

"That's all baby Stabler wants?" He chuckled, his thumb skimming across the swell of her lower abdomen.

"Maybe some wings? Wanna split a bucket?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Of course but I'm not so sure we're going to need a bucket, that's like _fifty_ wings Liv," he chuckled.

"We'll see," she grinned, kissing his jaw.

They made it to the front of the line and Olivia ordered the list the kids had sent to her, ignoring the looks she was getting as the length of her order largely surpassed anyone else's.

"That will be $65.88, M'am," the young cashier said once he finished ringing their order.

Olivia looked to Elliot with a guilty smile on her face, "Sorry."

Elliot smiled and kissed her, "Don't be. This is normal for seven people, especially for a baseball game." Elliot handed over his card and they waited for their food.

"Okay, I stand corrected," Elliot chuckled as Olivia finished off her last wing and dropped it into the bucket along with the other thirty wings she had eaten clean to the bone.

"I told you," she smirked, taking the wet napkin from him and wiping the

sauce from her lips and fingers.

"That's why we have the best step mom," Dickie chimed in, giving her a high five.

"Seriously though, Liv. A whole thing of fries and half a bucket of wings, that's got to be a record. I'm proud of you," Elliot chuckled and kissed her.

"How's Noah doing on his hot dog Mo?" Olivia asked looking down the row.

"Good," she said, watching Noah as he took another small bite. "I think he likes the ketchup," she chuckled as he stuck his tiny pink tongue out and licked at the red sauce on the top of his hotdog.

"I noticed that the other day too. I was having a burger and his hand hit into my ketchup and he literally stuck is whole fist in his mouth and sucked it off and then tried to reach for more," Olivia said laughing, remembering the face he pulled when he first got his fist in his mouth.

"Yeah he licked it off of my fry earlier," Lizzie chimed in.

"It looks like you're going to have to stock up on Ketchup for this one," Kathleen giggled, catching Noah licking off some more.

Elliot looked down the aisle at his family and it made him happy to have them all in one place again. He sat back, wrapped an arm around his wife, and enjoyed the game on a beautiful day with his family.

"Maureen will be here at 7:30 tomorrow morning," Olivia said as she climbed into bed after their long fun filled day.

"Sounds good," he replied crawling onto the bed next to her and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her against him.

She curled into his chest, "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, of course. Getting to spend time with all of my kids is great," he answered sincerely.

"I love watching Noah bond with his brothers and sisters," she chimed in.

"Me too, it's good for him to know he's loved and has a support system like this, just like you do," he nudged her so she would look up to him and left a sweet kiss on her lips.

"I'm grateful that they have really accepted Noah and the baby," she murmured against his neck.

He ran his fingers through her hair, "Noah's their brother and the baby is their brother or sister, that's what you get when you're part of a family. You're stuck with us."

"You gave me a family and there isn't another group of people I could even imagine loving more," she whispered as unshed tears glistened in her eyes.

He swept her hair back and kissed her forehead before trailing tiny kisses down to her lips, "I love you."

"I love you too," she murmured against his lips.


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: As always, thank you for the reviews and encouragement to continue. I never get tired of reading your reactions. Enjoy!

Elliot had woken up out of his sleep at around four o'clock the next morning when he heard Noah's soft cries coming through the monitor. He felt Olivia stir next to him and he grabbed her hand, "I'll get him." She nodded and laid back down in bed.

Walking into Noah's room he looked down at Noah who was sitting in the middle of his crib, his blanky tightly clutched in one hand and his pacifier in the other, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Oh little man, what's this all about?" Elliot cooed to his son as he wrapped his large hands around his torso an hoisted him up onto his chest. He bounced him lightly and wiped away the wet tear tracks, "You're okay, Daddy's here little man. I'm here."

He changed diaper and went out to the kitchen and made him a bottle. "We're gonna get you all set and you can come sleep with us. How does that sound?" Noah was sucking on his pacifier curled up on Elliot's chest.

He laid down with Noah in his arm towards the middle of the bed and Olivia moved in next to him, resting her head on his shoulder so she could look down at Noah.

"Hey there baby boy," she murmured, moving her fingers through his dark hair. She watched as he sucked at his bottle, wrapping his hands around Elliot's to help hold the bottle in place.

Elliot pressed a kiss to her forehead, allowing his lips to linger against her skin, "I think he was just a little hungry. He had dinner early last night."

She nodded against his shoulder and cuddled in against him, "You're a good Daddy."

He looked down and watched her nuzzle her nose against his bicep as she left a feather light kiss against his shoulder, "I'm gonna miss him tomorrow. It's nice getting to spend all this time with him. I feel like it's something I never really had with my other kids."

She knew it was a difficult thing for him to come to terms with so she just wanted to listen, be there for him in any way he needed her. She hoped that with time she could help him put some of those issues behind him and help him enjoy the time he had with his children now. "They're still your babies. They

love you and you love them ... more than anything in the world. You have to learn to forgive yourself for the past. All of your mistakes and all of your regrets, let them be," she encouraged him, cupping the back of his neck and allowing her fingers to run through his hair.

"I'm trying, it's just not that easy," he sighed, letting her fingers bring him comfort. "Sometimes I feel guilty because I get to spend all this time with Noah and even Eli compared to what I got with the older ones."

Her eyes saddened watching him struggle and second guess the choices and decisions he's made, "Baby, they know you love them. They understand that you had to work to provide them with the life that they had."

He kissed her forehead, truly thankful and appreciative that she always had his back, always talked him down and could reassure him. Noah had fallen asleep in his arms and he put the bottle down on the night stand. He kissed Noah's forehead as he turned onto his side with him so he could face Olivia, "I just

wish I had more moments like this with my other kids. I love being here with you and him."

"If you want, we'll force all the older ones to come snuggle with us," she smiled and loved that his face mirrored hers.

He chuckled, "The bed would break but I'll settle for more movie nights."

"That sounds prefect," she replied, snuggling down under the covers next to Noah.

"I love you Liv," he murmured kissing her sweetly. "Love you Noah," he whispered kissing his forehead before drifting off to sleep with his family.

"Dad, this is like the fourth call today and it's only two o'clock," Kathleen chuckled into the phone.

"I know. I'm just sitting in my office staring at the picture of you guys from the and ... I don't know," he sighed sitting back into his chair.

"He's fine Dad. He's eating some bananas right now and is making a mess," she giggled watching as Noah smeared some banana on his face.

Elliot chuckled, "Yeah, he's a messy eater. He reminds me of you. You used to get food in your hair every time you ate."

"Yeah, I remember when I got gum in my hair that one time," she reminisced.

He laughed, "Oh I remember that. You cried and cried the whole time your mom and I tried to get it out. We tried everything until we finally had to just cut it out."

"Thanks for that by the way," she chuckled. "My hair was uneven for a year."

"Well it was that or a bowl cut and you would have lost your mind if we did that to you," he told her.

"I guess that's probably true. That's probably why I never cut my hair now," she laughed, realizing that that might actually be the reason why her hair is currently mid back length.

"You have good hair. Thankfully you got that from your mother," he chuckled, running his hand through his cropped hair.

"I think we all got lucky with our hair," she joked as she cleaned off Noah's face and the rest of the high chair. "Do you want me to bring Noah down and we can stop by for a little before we go out to the park?"

He checked his watch, "Yeah I have about an hour and half before my class comes back."

"Okay, let me just get him cleaned up and we'll be on our way. Do you want me to bring you a sandwich?" she asked him.

He looked at the drawer he had once filled with snacks had now dwindled down to one bag of fruit snacks that expired two months ago, "That would be great actually. I haven't eaten yet."

"Okay I'll make one and we'll be down."

"Thanks, see you soon. Love you."

"Love you too, Dad," she replied before hanging up the phone. "Alright Noah, let's get you all cleaned up and we can go see Daddy. How does that sound?"

"Dada," Noah squealed when he and Kathleen walked through the door to Elliot's office.

"Hey little man," he cooed as he stood to greet them. "Thanks for coming down," he said kissing Kathleen's cheek.

"You're welcome," she replied handing Noah over to him.

"How's my big boy doing?" He asked Noah as he held him high on his chest.

"Nana," Noah said.

"Yeah I heard you had a Nana for lunch," Elliot replied, engaging his son in conversation. The more words Noah learned the easier it was for him to talk more and more. While most of it was still just one worded questions on statements it was helping him. "Are you going to the park with your sister?"

Noah turned in Elliot's arms to look at Kathleen, "Swee?"

Kathleen have her father a questioning look, "Swing. We're teaching him some more words and the things he likes the most seem to be the easiest. He can't say the whole work but syllables are coming easy to him."

Kathleen nodded, "Of course we can swing."

"E?" Noah asked Elliot, holding up his hands and quirking his brow.

"No buddy, Eli's in school today. Maybe we can go this weekend," he told Noah. Noah's little face fell so Elliot did his best to distract him, "What's on your shirt Noah?"

Noah looked down at his shirt and there was a little lion right in the middle, "Raawrr," he sounded.

"You're getting so smart," Elliot smiled and kissed Noah's head. He sat down at his desk with Noah on his lap, "You gonna stand for me Noah?" Elliot took Noah's hands in his and lifted him up so his tiny feet were on his legs. Noah smiled and bounced in his lap, trampling all over Elliot.

"He'll probably start walking soon. He pulls himself up on the furniture really well now," Kathleen said handing her Dad his lunch.

He took the paper bag from her and brought Noah back to sit on his legs, "I know. I just hope it's while Liv and I are with him. She would be crushed if she missed his first steps."

"She's a really good mom. I'm so excited for the baby. Do you want a boy or a girl?" She asked him.

He shrugged and took a bite from his sandwich, "I just want healthy. We've been lucky so far, the pregnancy has been going well and both Liv and the baby are happy and healthy. As long as it stays that way I don't really care if it's a boy or a girl."

"Babe, I'm home," Olivia yelled into the apartment, dropping her keys and flipping off her shoes as she walked into the kitchen and set the food containers on the counter. "I got us Chinese."

"Hey, how was work?" Elliot asked coming out of the bedroom with Noah on his hip.

"Good," she smiled, kissing him before taking Noah and giving him kisses on his cheeks."How was work with you?"

"Great, Kathleen and Noah stopped by on my lunch," he said, making his way into the kitchen and separating their containers. "Fork or chopsticks?"

"Chopsticks," she replied going to the refrigerator, "Beer or water?"

"Well since you can't drink, I won't either," he answered, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

"You're sweet," she smiled and turned he head to capture his lips, "Two waters

it is."

He kissed her cheek, "Do you want to eat at the table or on the couch?"

"The couch is fine, if you grab Noah's bib I got him some plain tempura chicken and rice," she said taking their drinks into the living room.

"I'm sure he'll love it. He's like his Momma. Anything fried is good," he chuckled and carried in some of the food.

She chucked, "I can't help it. Baby Stabler wants what it wants."

"How is Baby Stabler doing today?" He asked sitting down next to her and resting his palm against the swell of her abdomen.

"Good," she replied resting her hand on top of his, "Getting bigger by the day."

"That's a good thing. When's your next appointment?" He asked grabbing his food container from the table.

Olivia took hers and Noah's before taking a quick drink of her water, "Two weeks. It's a Tuesday so that should work for you too."

He helped her get Noah's open before giving him a tiny piece of his chicken, "When do you want to have Noah's birthday party?"

She ran her hands through Noah's hair and kissed his head. She couldn't believe he was turning one already, "His birthday is in a month but it's during the week so I was thinking we just have a small get together that weekend."

"Whatever you want. As long as little man has a good time, that's all that matters," he said softly kissing her lips.

"You know I missed you a lot today," Elliot whispered softly as he gently bounced Noah around his room. Noah's head was resting on Elliot's chest as he sucked on his pacifier, his eyelids slowly drooping. "We'll have the whole day together tomorrow, just you and me. I love you, Noah. Sleep tight," he kissed

his head and gently lowered him into the crib. Noah rolled onto his side and held his blue baby blanket tightly to his chest.

"He's down for the count," Elliot said coming into the bedroom.

"Good job Daddy," Olivia smiled, taking off her glasses and setting them on the night stand next to the case report she was reading.

He stripped off his shirt and slid into bed next to her, hovering slightly over her and kissing her passionately, "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

She took his face in her hands and rubbed the pads of her thumbs over his cheeks, "I'm not sure. Maybe you should tell me again."

He smiled and rolled his eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled and pulled him closer so she could kiss him. His hand found the hem of her shirt and pulled it up as his lips left hers, "Where are you going?"

"There's someone else here that needs some attention," he said as he moved down to her abdomen and laid his face down so it was next to where the baby was, letting his hand rest gently on top, "Hey there little one, it's your Dad here. I know, it's been a while since we've talked. How's it going in there?"

Olivia watched on as he carried on this one sided conversation with their unborn child and it was breathtaking. The love and care he showed when gently caressing her skin, the emotion in his voice as he spoke, how his eyes glistened as he looked up at her and gave her a smile. She ran her hands through his hair and enjoyed the intimate moment.

"So your Momma told me that you're getting bigger. Are wiggling around in there?" He pretended to listen and nodded his head, "Cart wheels huh, maybe you'll be a little gymnast. How's your kicking comin along?" He shrugged, "Don't worry about it. I taught all your brothers and sisters how to play soccer, I'll teach you too. Actually, as soon as your brother Noah starts walking around I'm gonna start with him and he can help you too. Okay, get some rest. I love you," he kissed her skin and moved back up to lay next to her.

"You two have a nice chat?" She smiled.

He smiled and kissed her, "Just getting to know each other."

"I love watching you like that," she said nuzzling her face against his neck.

He kissed her forehead and pulled her closer as he laid back with her in his arms, "Kathleen asked me today if I wanted a boy or a girl, have you thought about it?"

She shrugged, "I really don't have a preference. I think just being able to look at this baby and see your features mixed with mine will be all I could ever need or want. What about you?"

"As long as the baby is safe and healthy, that's all I care about. This baby is already so special and such a miracle ... I couldn't love him or her any more than I already do," he told her honestly.

She wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head on his chest, "Me too. Healthy is my number one priority." His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. "I'm thinking about starting some yoga classes ... If you want to go with me?"

"Yoga?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, it's good for you. I read it's supposed to help pregnant women with labor and delivery," she said and then gave him a smirk, "You like it when I'm flexible. Don't you?"

He was instantly aroused, "I think that's a given. You're not going to make me go with a bunch of pregnant women are you?"

"No," she chuckled, "We can just go to a regular class, men go too."

"Okay. I'll go, but I need some sort of incentive because if anyone sees me I will never live it down," he joked but she knew he was serious.

"Hmm ... How about we put my flexibility to good use?" She replied seductively pushing him onto his back and straddling his waist.

His hands found her hips and he gave her a gentle squeeze, groaning when she moved against him. "Deal," he answer, quickly pulling her down so he could claim her lips.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: Thank you all, as usual, for encouraging me to continue with your words. S/O to all the guest reviewers, I wish I could thank you personally. All of your reviews mean a lot mean so much to me! Enjoy!

"Do you want to get Noah dressed and I'll shower first or do you want to shower fist and I'll get him ready," Elliot asked Olivia as they woke up to Noah's quiet babbling which had recently become routine. First the babbling, then came the mama and dada's, and then the crying came last.

"I'll shower and you get him ready. It's Dons day today so he'll be here in an hour," Olivia replied, rolling out of bed.

Elliot followed suit, pulling on a pair of sweats, "What should I make him? Just some of his cereal and strawberries?"

"Yeah, I cut those up yesterday so let him eat them before they get bad," she replied pulling some clothes from her closet and laying them in the bed.

He moved to her and took her hand in his and pulled her close, "What do you want for breakfast?"

She gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Do you mind making me some bacon and eggs?"

He smiled, "For you? Anything."

"Thank you," she kissed him again before making her way into the bathroom and Elliot went to get Noah.

"Good morning there little man," Elliot cooed to Noah as he picked him up out of the crib. "Let's go get you some breakfast."

They made their way into the kitchen where Elliot put Noah in his high chair and fastened a bib around his neck. He grabbed the strawberries and mixed together the cereal before starting on Olivia's breakfast. "Alright little man, strawberries and cereal for you, eggs and bacon for your momma."

Olivia came out a while later to find a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast waiting for her as well as her two favorite men covered in cereal. "Did any of it actually go into his mouth?" She laughed taking in the full site in front of her.

Elliot chuckled and put the spoon back in the bowl, "Someone wanted to try to feed himself today and it obviously isn't the cleanest thing to do. He got some cereal and had a lot of strawberries."

She popped a strawberry into her mouth before grabbing a towel and helping Elliot clean off himself and Noah. "Thank you for making me breakfast," she said once they were done cleaning up the mess.

"You're welcome babe," he replied giving her a kiss.

"Go grab a shower and I'll finish up in here. Don will be here in twenty minutes," she called to his retreating form as he headed into their bedroom. "Alright little man," she said returning her attention to Noah, "Momma's gonna eat some breakfast and you can finish up your strawberries before PopPop gets

here."

Olivia was putting all of the dirty dishes into the dishwasher when there was knock at the door.

"Looks like PopPop's here," she told Noah and he looked from her to the door. Olivia looked through the peephole before opening the door, "Good morning Don. Come on in," Olivia said giving him a hug before moving aside so he could enter.

"How are you doing?" He asked, sliding off his jacket.

"Really good. We've all pretty much settled into the new schedule with both of us working and Noah seems fine," she told him pouring him a cup of coffee.

"How is my number one grandson doing?" Don cooed picking Noah up out of his high chair. "PopPops missed you."

"Just to give you a heads up, we're gonna have Noah's party in three weeks. Just something small here," She told him putting his cup down on the table.

"I'll be there. How is it being back to work?" He asked sitting across from her at the table with Noah on his lap.

"It's fine. Of course I would much rather be at home with him all day but that's obviously not possible. I'm working more regular hours and less weekends so I still get a lot of time at home. Actually, probably more time than I've ever had," she said.

"Good for you, Liv," he said sincerely.

"I didn't know you were here yet," Elliot said coming out dressed in slacks and a dress shirt. "How have you been?" He asked shaking Don's hand.

"Good. Living the life," he said as he chuckled.

"So I take it you don't miss the 1-6 then?" Elliot asked Don.

He shrugged, "I do but then I don't. I miss having something to occupy the time but I don't miss the dynamic duo being a major pain in my ass."

They all laughed and Olivia spoke first, "Okay, we were not _that_ bad. Were we?"

Don rolled his eyes, "What would you do if Nick and Amanda pulled some of the shit you two did on you?"

"Okay okay, yeah... I'd probably fire them," she was serious but let out a chuckle.

"Don't get me wrong though, you two were the best partners I ever had work for me and you got the job done which is why I let a lot of things slide," Don said honestly.

"That sounds more like it," Elliot smirked leaning back in his chair a smirk crossing his face as folded his arms across his chest.

Olivia slapped his arm, "Check your ego there Stabler. I don't play that game."

Don laughed watching the exchange and just like that it was five years ago and he was watching them duke it out in the squad room, except it wasn't five years ago. He was in their home holding their son and everything was different now. Things had changed ... in so many ways.

"Alright guys. You two need to be on your way or you'll be late and I can't bail out either of you this time," Don joked.

"Okay we're going," Olivia chuckled and got up to take Noah, "Alright Noah. I love you so much and I'll miss you." She hugged him close and kissed his forehead.

"Love you buddy. Have a good day with PopPop," Elliot said kissing the top of Noah's head.

Olivia gave Noah back to Don, "You have our numbers if you need anything and I wrote his schedule on the refrigerator and..."

"Liv," Don stopped her, resting his hand on her arm, "We'll be fine. I promise."

Elliot wrapped his arm around her and she instantly relaxed to his touch, "I know. Okay, have fun you two."

"Have a good day at work," Don called to them as they walked out of the apartment hand in hand.

"Noah will be fine," Elliot said as they got off the elevator.

She felt him squeeze her hand and she sighed, "I know he will. I just worry."

He pulled her into his side and kissed her forehead, "I know you do. You're a good mom."

"Thanks," she smiled and kissed his lips.

Elliot walked Olivia to the 1-6 and they made their way to her office.

"Hey man," Fin called to Elliot as they entered the squad room.

Elliot clapped him on the back, "How's it going?"

"You know how it is," Fin said, the exhaustion evident in his voice.

"I take it no new suspects?" Olivia chimed in, propping herself up on the desk.

"No," Fin replied flopping down in his chair. "We interviewed the boyfriend and the male teachers at her school, got nothin."

"What's the case?" Elliot asked as he rolled up the sleeves on his shirt.

Olivia watched him, he was truly interested. This was the first time she had seen him like this since... _Jenna's mother's murder_, she thought. She listened as Fin went over the details of the case and Elliot remained silent, listening and nodding as he waited for him to finish. It was chilling to see him like this again. It took her back to a time where this was what she had longed for ... him next to her in the squad room, working a case and hiding her feelings. That's all she ever thought she would have.

She watched Elliot stare at the screen and his brow furrow, he was getting lost in the case. She rested her hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze and his eyes met hers. He covered her hand with his and she leaned against him, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. I don't want you to get into this, you left for a reason."

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and kissed her forehead, "I'm okay. I might be a little rusty but let me see if I can help. Plus I only have an hour before I have to be at work."

She searched his eyes, "Only if you're sure?"

"I'm sure, babe. I'll be fine," he said honestly. "Just ... stay with me?"

"Of course," she said instantly, wrapping both of her hands around his larger one.

"Thank you. I love you," he murmured giving her a sweet kiss.

"I love you too," she whispered, bring his hand to her lips and leaving a kiss on his knuckles.

Once Fin was done going over the case Elliot jumped in, "Okay, so you tested the DNA against the boyfriend and the father?"

"Yes," Olivia answered him, "Wasn't a match."

"What about against her male teachers? This girl has a 4.0 GPA and a laundry list of extracurricular activities, she spends a lot of time there," Elliot said looking over the case file again.

"We did. None with a record or so much as a parking ticket. We don't have enough probable cause to test all of them," Fin sighed.

"Wait ... it says here she gets done with tutoring at six and usually gets home at seven..." Elliot stated and Olivia jumped in.

"She only lives 10 blocks away. The worst traffic in history isn't going to hold her up for an hour," she said thinking out loud.

"So what's she doing with the extra 45 minutes and who's she doin it with?" Fin added.

"Not sure, but that's what we're going to find out. Give me 10 and we'll go question her," Olivia said grabbing her bag and hopping off the desk.

"Alright," Fin replied before walking off to grab a cup of coffee.

Elliot followed Olivia into her office and grabbed her hand before she could get behind her desk, pulling her to him, "Thank you for letting me do that."

"You're welcome. It was strange going through that with you ... I never thought we'd get that chance again," she said honestly.

"Me either but I'm glad we did. It felt good ... right," he smiled, taking her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. He moved them back until the backs of her legs hit the desk and his hands tangled in her hair.

"El," she murmured against his lips before her arms wrapped around his neck and his found her hips.

"Hmm," he hummed, lifting her up on the desk and pushing his body between her legs.

"We can't. You have to..." she was cut off when she moaned at the feeling of his lips on her neck. His hands started moving up her thighs, stopping as he undid her button. "No Elliot," she finally got out, pushing against his chest.

He stumbled back, his face and neck flushed, "I'm sorry."

She caught her breath and buttoned her pants before sliding off of the desk, "Don't be sorry, I want it just as bad and if we weren't in my office 15 feet away from my detectives we wouldn't be talking right now."

He groaned, "Why couldn't we be _anywhere _else but here?"

She chuckled and kissed him, "I'll make it up to you later."

He raised an eyebrow, "I'm gonna hold you to that."

"I hope you do," she smirked.

"I'll let you get back to work and I'll see you later tonight," he smiled kissing her again.

"I love you," she said once they parted.

"I love you too," he replied kissing her forehead before leaving her office.

"It was good having you back," Fin said as Elliot walked out into the squad room.

Elliot shrugged, "It actually felt good being back here. First time in a long time I kind of thought about all of this."

"Yeah I feel you. I'll catch you later," Fin said walking off towards Olivia's office.

Later that night Olivia and Elliot were laying in bed wrapped in each other's arms, skin on skin, tangled in the sheets around them.

Elliot dropped tiny kisses on her exposed shoulder, working his way up her neck and into her hair, "That was better than any quickie in your office would have been."

"I would have to agree with you on that one," she smirked and tilted her head back to capture his lips.

He kissed her deeply before resting his head in the crook of her neck, "How did the case go?"

"Turns out she's been seeing this kid on the side. He picks her up and they go to his place before he takes her home. He's got a record but she says he wouldn't hurt her. We're running his DNA and I'm betting it's a match. You really helped us out," she said turning in his arms and resting her hand on his

cheek.

He turned into her hand and left a kiss against her palm, "I'm glad I could help."

She watched his brows furrow and his lips purse tightly together, "What are you thinking?"

He shrugged and left a sweet kiss on her lips, resting his forehead against hers, "Just how much I missed working with you ... how well we work together. I never realized how much I missed it until today."


	43. Chapter 43

A/N: Happy Halloween to any of you out there who celebrate it. As always, thank you for the support and encouragement. Enjoy!

"E!" Noah squealed when Elliot opened the door for his kids.

"Noah!" Eli said with equal enthusiasm as he hopped into the apartment. "Bring him over here," he instructed Elliot.

"Are you forgetting something?" Elliot asked, smirking with a raised eyebrow.

Eli put his hands on his hips while he thought for a moment before his eyes went wide and he ran to his Dad, wrapping his arms around his legs, "Sorry ... Hi Daddy, where's Livvie?"

Elliot hugged his son tight, "In the kitchen." He watched Eli run into the kitchen and hug Olivia, almost knocking her over.

"Livvie! I missed you," he smiled and she rubbed his back, running her fingers through his curly locks.

"I missed you too buddy. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your game last weekend," she said kissing his head.

"It's okay. We lost," he told her.

"I know," she replied sadly, "But I heard you scored a goal."

His smile brightened, "Yup, it was a tough one too."

She chuckled, "I'm sure it was but you're just too fast they can't stop you!"

He giggled and ran off but turned back around after only a few feet and ran back to her, stopping right in front of her. "Hi baby," he said gently tapping her belly before running into the living room.

She stood there ... completely awed. The love and affection her unborn child was already receiving was something she never experienced, it took her breath away. Her eyes welled with tears and her hand came to rest upon her child, hoping all of the love she felt her baby could also fee it. She took a deep breath and looked up to see Elliot standing near her, his eyes fixed on her. She gave him a small smile, comforting his concern.

The rest of the kids filed in and they all gathered in the living room.

"I ordered the pizza. Is there anything else you guys want?" Elliot asked coming into the living room.

"Can I have a beer?" Dickie asked, looking up from the carpet where he was playing with Eli and Noah.

"Are you going to stay here?" Olivia asked walking in with a bottle of wine and a case of beer.

Dickie shrugged, "Sure, I'm off tomorrow."

She set the case down and handed him a bottle, "I was just kidding. You're 21 ... just be smart about it."

He chuckled, "I promise I am. I'm gonna stay anyway though, hangout with the boys tomorrow."

"That would actually work perfectly. Your Dad and I have an appointment with the realtor so if you could watch them we could get it done quicker?" She asked, taking a seat next to Elliot.

"That's fine with me," Dickie answered, twisting the cap off his beer and taking a swig.

"Thanks Dickie," Elliot said, wrapping an arm around Olivia.

The pizza came and they put in Spider-Man since that was all Eli could talk about and the rest of the group didn't care.

"Who wants popcorn?" Olivia asked the group as the opening credits started.

"Do you want me to make it?" Maureen said taking a sip of her wine.

"I'll help her," Elliot said, pushing himself off of the couch.

"Do you have any Jell-O?" Eli asked, rolling onto his back and looking up at her.

She smiled, "I think so. What color?"

He furrowed his brow and took a second as if it was the most important decision, "Red."

"Anything else?" Elliot asked his kids and Olivia made her way into the kitchen.

"Chocolate. If you have some," Kathleen said looking up from her phone.

"I'll look," he said turning and following in behind Olivia.

Olivia was waiting at the microwave as the first bag of popcorn started to pop when Elliot came in and wrapped his arms around her.

"Are you having a good time?" She asked him, turning in his arms to look at him.

"Always," he replied, kissing her sweetly. He rested his forehead against hers and he enjoyed their alone time. He kissed her forehead and ran his fingers through her hair, "Are you sure you're okay with Dickie and Eli spending the night?"

"Of course. Hell, they could all spend the night. It's nice having a full house ... something I never used to have," she said honestly. "I'm happy that Noah is surrounded by people who love and care about him. How cute was Eli today?"

"He's a lover," Elliot said smiling.

"He's just like you though, in so many ways," she smiled, holding him tight.

"Sometimes I think if I wouldn't have went to see Kathy that one night ... I wouldn't have Eli and ... I can't even imagine my life without him," he murmured into her hair.

She moved back when she heard the tears in his voice as he spoke, "Don't think like that."

"I got so lucky with him ... I don't deserve him," he sighed and took a shaky breath. "I was so pathetic ... _weak_. I used Kathy because I was lonely and sad and ... I got Eli," he breathed and the tears were streaming down his face now. "He's smart and caring, he's the _sweetest_ and most loving little boy ... he's _beautiful_ and I don't deserve him."

She took his face in her hands and wiped at some of the tears, "Elliot, you're a good man and a good father. You _deserve_ Eli just as much as he deserves _you_. He might not have been planned and everything was an accident but he didn't get stuck with you ... he was _blessed_ to have a father like you ... and you were _blessed_ with that little boy sitting in there waiting for his Jell-O." She swiped her thumbs under his eyes and kissed each cheek before finding his lips. "Take a couple deep breaths ... I'm here ... I'm not going anywhere," she murmured against his cheek.

He rested his face in the crook of her neck as he took a couple deep breaths, her arms cradling his body against hers. "I love you," he whispered against her neck, dropping a few kisses against her skin.

"I love you too baby," she replied, kissing his head and rubbing his back. The microwave beeped again and she ran her fingers through his hair, "Are you gonna be alright?"

He nodded against her before pulling back and wiping away any sign of moisture left on his face, "I'm okay."

She nodded and brought his face to hers and gave him a sweet lingering kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too," he gave her a small smile and kissed her forehead. "Okay I got the popcorn you get the Jell-O and Kathleen wants chocolate."

Olivia dumped the popcorn into a large bowl and handed it to him, "You take this in I'll get the rest."

A couple of hours later Olivia looked around the room to find all of the Stabler's sound asleep. Elliot had fallen asleep on the floor with Eli laying on his chest, Dickie was next to them with Noah tucked into his arm, and the girls were up on the couch each resting on the others shoulder.

She moved off of the couch, cleaning up some of the glasses and the food that was still on the table. She grabbed her phone and snapped a couple pictures of all of them, who knew how long it would be before they'd have another family sleepover. She wanted Elliot to always remember how much his kids loved him. She flipped off the TV and heard the couch squeaking.

"Do you need any help?" Lizzie mumbled and her eyes blinked heavily a couple times.

"No honey, go back to sleep," Olivia whispered, running her fingers through Lizzie's long curls.

"Okay, love you," she said turning back into her pillow.

"Love you too," Olivia replied doing her best not to let the tears fall. She knew they loved and cared for her the same way she did for them but they had never said it and neither had she. She didn't want to force anything and she didn't need words to reinforce what she already felt and knew in her heart.

She grabbed a couple of blankets from the hall closet and covered them all up, dropping a kiss to each one of their heads before laying back down on the couch to spend the night with her family.

The next morning Elliot made pancakes and Olivia cut some fruit, helping with the eggs. The kids were all huddled around the table chatting away and they all ate breakfast together, enjoying the family time. Maureen and Lizzie offered to clean off the table with the rest all agreeing so Olivia and Elliot could go change.

He was throwing on his shirt when she came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her.

"Have you thought about anything you'd like for the new place?" She asked him as she towel dried her hair before putting it back up in the towel.

He stared at her, looking her up and down before settling on her face, "All I can think about right now ... is _you_."

She rolled her eyes but moved to stand in front of where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, "Focus."

"I am," he said seductively, running his hands up her thighs and under the towel, pulling her closer.

"Seriously El," she scolded but let out a chuckle. "I don't have a clue. I've lived in two apartments for most of my adult life."

"We'll figure it out. The realtor will be able to find us some different houses and you can get a feel for what you like the most and we'll go from there," he said, helping to put some of her worries at ease.

"I know," she sighed and allowed Elliot's arms to wrap around her. "I just want to find the perfect house so everyone can fit and be comfortable. We all have to squish in here now and I don't want that."

"We will, just take it one day at a time," he said.

They finished getting ready, talked to the kids, and they were on their way.

They were currently following their realtor back to her office. "Jeanine helped me find my apartment and sell it," Elliot told Olivia as they took their seats in Jeanine's office.

"Good to know we're in good hands," Olivia smiled.

Jeanine chuckled and took her seat, "You flatter me. Let's get down to business shall we?" Elliot and Olivia both nodded, "So what is it you two are looking for?"

Elliot looked at Olivia and she shrugged so he started, "Definitely a single family home with some type of yard."

"At least four bedroom and a finished basement would be nice," Olivia chimed in.

"Four bedroom?" He asked looking at her.

"Eli needs his own room too, so actually more like five bedroom but if we get a finished basement then we can use that as another area," she replied looking between Elliot and Jeanine.

It shouldn't surprise him but knowing she wanted his children to be a part of their new home was a gesture that he would always be grateful to her for. "Under an hour to both of our works," Elliot added and Olivia nodded.

Jeanine jotted some things down before speaking again, "Floor plan or square footage?"

"We have six kids with one on the way so whatever is going to allow us to sit in living room at the same time is what we're looking for," Elliot said.

"Anything else?" She asked the pair.

"I think we're pretty open to ideas," Olivia answered.

Jeanine nodded and looked over her notes, "Let me go do some digging and I'll be back with some listings you can look at. Also, do you have a price range you'd like to stay around?"

"We haven't talked about it but we'll have an answer when you get back," Elliot replied and Jeanine walked out of the office. "Have you given any thought to what you'd want to spend?"

"I'm sure it'll be a lot more than I've spent before," she chuckled.

"Probably," he sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face.

Olivia reached out and pulled his hands away from his face, "Look at me." He sighed but did as she asked and looked up into her eyes. "We're going to be fine ... I have money saved. The money from my mom, I've never touched it. With the money from your apartment and mine, we'll be okay." She ran her fingers through his hair and rested her other hand on his cheek, "We can do this together ... I love you."

He moved off of the chair and let his lips meet hers, resting his forehead against hers. "We'll be okay," he murmured and she nodded her head, "I love you."

"Okay, so I have a couple of listings for you to look over," Jeanine said as she entered the office. She handed them each a stack of papers, "Most of them are in Queens and the surrounding areas out that way and a few are in Hoboken, New Jers..."

"No," Elliot and Olivia said at the same time.

"I was born and raised in New York. I would rather stay in my tiny apartment than move to New Jersey," Olivia said, flipping through the listings and immediately taking out any that were outside of New York.

"What she said," Elliot chuckled.

"Alright well that narrowed the field. Go through those and put aside any of the listings you like and we'll go over what you like about them and what you don't," Jeanine told them and she watched as they went through the papers.

"This one's out. Not enough yard," Olivia voiced, dropping the paper on the desk.

The group went through this process for an hour until they narrowed down the contenders to just five houses.

Jeanine took the listings they liked which were covered in notes and put them in a file, "I can have appointments made so you can see each house within a week or two if that works for you?"

"That should work for us," Olivia replied.

Elliot stood up and shook Jeanine's outstretched hand, "Thank you for all you're doing."

"My pleasure," She replied. "It was great meeting you, Olivia. I am certain that we will find your dream home."

Olivia smiled, "If anyone can do it, you seem like that person."


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: We hit 600 reviews! I don't think I can even express how much all of you mean to me. Without you guys reading and reviewing, there would be no story. I hope you continue to enjoy this story as we move forward. Please don't hesitate to let me know what you thing. I love reading the reviews and getting to read your reactions. Enjoy!

"Liv?" Elliot called when he reached for her in the middle of the night and was greeted with a cool bed sheet. He sat up in bed, looking around the room until he saw the light coming in from under the bathroom door. He rolled out of bed, throwing on his crumpled t-shirt and made his way to the bathroom when he heard her heave and he immediately threw open the door.

Olivia was hunched over the toilet, her hair in one hand and the other clutching the rim of the toilet bowl. Her white tank top was nearly see through with sweat and was clinging to her body.

Elliot dropped down on his knees next to her, taking her hair in his hand and pushing a hand over her forehead to move her bangs out of the way. "I'm here, baby ... I'm here," he whispered, rubbing her back as she clutched the toilet bowl even harder and threw up.

She had a moment of relief and she sat back against the bath tub, her knees against her chest and her head hanging down. Her face was pale and clammy, her sweat covered hair falling into her face.

Elliot wet a wash cloth with cold water and pressed it to her forehead, gently dabbing it around her cheeks. He rested the wash cloth around her neck and filled a glass with water, taking her hand and wrapping it around the glass, "Take a sip, get the taste out of your mouth."

She nodded and tentatively brought the glass to her lips, swallowing a small mouthful of water. "Thank you," she said, setting the glass down and looking to him.

He wiped at the sweat around her hair line and the tear tracks that were starting to dry on her cheeks, "Of course, how long have you been sick in here?"

She shrugged and brushed some hair out of her face, "Probably about twenty minutes."

He sighed, "You stubborn woman, you don't have to do this alone. I'm here ... for whatever you need."

She squeezed his hand, "I know that, but you have to work tomorrow and I wanted you to sleep."

He brought her hand to his lips and left a kiss against her knuckles, "Nothing in this world is more important than you and my kids ... _nothing_." She nodded her head and he kissed her forehead, "If you think you're done for now, let's get you into some new clothes and back into bed."

"I don't think there's anything left," she quipped, her dry humor making him feel better.

He stood up and then took her hand and pulled her into a standing position. She swayed once she got on her feet and fell into him. "Are you okay?" He asked, the worry apparent in his voice as he held her in his arms.

"Yeah," she whispered weakly. "Just got a little dizzy." His arms stayed securely wrapped around her as she brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She swayed slightly and the hairbrush fell out of her hand.

"Okay, let's get you to bed," he said as he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

"I could have walked," she mumbled against his chest as they made their way to the bed.

"Or you can let me take care of you," he said sitting her on the bed before going to their dresser and finding her clean clothes. "Please don't fight me on this ... I want to help you."

She nodded her head as he helped her pull her shirt over her head. "Thank you," she said softly.

He kissed her forehead once she got the new shirt on, "You don't have to thank me ... I love you."

"I love you too," she replied laying down in bed.

Elliot went to the kitchen grabbing her some ginger ale and crackers before making his way back to the room. He set her things on her night stand, "Do you need anything else?"

She shook her head, "Just lay with me?"

"Always," he answered, pulling his shirt over his head before crawling in bed next to her and wrapping his arms around her. "Are you feeling any better?"

"A little nauseas still but better than before," she said quietly, lacing her fingers with his. "I guess that'll teach me to eat spicy food right before bed."

He kissed her bare shoulder, "The sickness should be over soon and you've been pretty lucky. You've only really been sick handful of times."

She nodded, "Hopefully it's almost over. I just don't like feeling crappy ... it makes my whole day miserable."

"I bet. I'm just happy it's not me," he said and they both chuckled. "I definitely wouldn't be able to handle it."

She turned in his arms and gave him a small smile, "No you wouldn't."

"Get some sleep, you need it," he murmured against her skin as he kissed her forehead.

"You do too," she said softy, resting her head on his chest.

He kissed the top of her head, "I'm going to cancel class and stay home with you. You need a day off. You've been working until eight or nine every night and you worked last weekend."

"I can't ask you to do that," she said looking up at him.

"You didn't, I offered. I'm going to stay home with my wife and son all day tomorrow. You're going to relax and catch up on some sleep ... we can have a lazy day in bed," he told her.

She kissed his chest, "You're too good to me."

He moved down in bed, holding her tightly in his arms, "You deserve it ... and so much more."

The following week brought them their next doctor's appointment.

"I'm nervous," Olivia voiced as they walked down the block to Dr. Childs' office.

"About what?" Elliot asked, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"I think it's nerves and excitement. I can't wait to find out what the baby is and on the other hand I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop," she said honestly as they made their way into the office building.

They made the rest of their way to the waiting room in silence, Olivia signing in and taking a seat next to Elliot.

He held her hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb against her knuckles, "Are you thinking about doing the testing? I remember it saying something about once you hit 16 weeks you can get it done. You're 17 now so that's right in the range."

"Sometimes I think we should, just so we don't have to worry ... or if god forbid something was wrong, we could prepare for what to do when the baby actually got here," she half whispered as his eyes fell upon her. She tried to get a read on him, hoping not find any judgment or doubt and even anger but she didn't ... she saw love and understanding. "Then I think, 'Why risk it?' I love this baby no matter what and I do have faith that he or she will make it here safe and healthy and if something was wrong, we could handle it."

He ran his free hand through her hair and kissed her forehead, "Whatever this baby throws our way we'll deal with it ... _together_. One day at a time."

"One day at a time," she repeated and gave him a gentle kiss.

They settled down against the chairs and he wrapped his arm around her, "What are you thinking? Boy or girl."

"I don't know really," she said resting her hand against the ever growing bump that became more apparent every week that passed. "I read that if you're still getting sick into the second trimester it's usually a girl. But I'm carrying kink of low and that's usually a boy."

He rested his hand next to hers, "I'm betting on a boy. Dickie is going to lose his mind if it's a boy."

She chuckled, "Well we'll know for sure before we leave here."

A few moments later the nurse came out and called Olivia back to her room.

Elliot was sitting in the chair next to the table where Olivia sat, "I gained six more pounds."

"Don't worry about it," Elliot said standing up against the edge of the table. "You're beautiful and you look great."

"You're biased," she replied, pouting.

He rested his hands on her hips, "You're truly the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn't think you could get more beautiful but now you're carrying my child and that's the most amazing and beautiful thing. All I want to do is go home and make love to you."

She took his face in her hands and kissed his lips...slowly...passionately, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he said against her skin as he rested his head in the crook of her neck.

"Okay Love Birds," Dr. Childs chuckled walking into the room. Elliot and Olivia both blushed, "I've caught much worse before."

Olivia chuckled, "We'll try to keep it PG."

"No big deal," Dr. Childs replied. "Before we get started, have you given any more thought to the testing?"

"Do you think it's necessary for us to do it?" Elliot asked. He knew Olivia was on the fence and wanted to get a professional opinion but she would never ask. She knew he wasn't very open to the testing but he wasn't going to completely shut it down, especially when she was having second thoughts.

"Honestly," Dr. Childs started, picking up Olivia's file before taking a seat on her stool, "No. Do I think it's a good tool for helping to identify problems? Yes, but there haven't been any clear markers that are raising any concerns. You were both pretty dead set against it in the beginning and unless you're one hundred percent sure, I wouldn't go through with the testing. Most things we can detect with both of your family histories as well as following how the pregnancy progresses. Did that help you decide?"

"Yes," Olivia said looking towards Elliot, "I don't think the test is worth the risk."

"Alright, so are you two ready to find out the sex of your baby?" Dr. Childs asked, putting down the file and washing her hands.

"Can't wait," Elliot chimed in, taking back Olivia's hand after she rolled up her shirt and pulled down her leggings, exposing the larger swell that held their unborn child.

"Let's see if we can get a good look," Dr. Childs said putting some gel on her stomach. "This round area right here is the baby's head. It's measuring right in at where it should be. The baby is about five and a half inches crown to rump and weighs in at about five ounces. Have you felt any movement or flutters?"

"No," Olivia said sadly.

"Most first time mothers don't actually feel the baby move until 18 or 19 weeks. You'll feel them soon enough," Dr. Childs encouraged. "That's your baby's hand right there," she told them, pointing to the area where the baby's fingers were wiggling.

"El," Olivia said breathlessly as they both stared at the screen completely in awe.

"I know," he murmured against her hair when he kissed her head.

"Perfect heart right here and a good set of lungs. The fluid looks good and everything is progressing how I'd like it to," Dr. Childs said, snapping a few pictures of what they were looking at. "Now for the fun part. Are you sure you want to know the sex?"

"Positive," Olivia answered, looking to Elliot with a smile.

Dr. Childs moved the transducer over her skin and pointed to the screen, "That right there means you're having a little boy. Congratulations."

There was no turning off the tears that were already streaming down her face, "It's a boy."

"We're having a son," Elliot murmured, kissing her lips. Tears were in his eyes once he pulled away, "Another boy."

She smiled and pulled him back down to her, kissing him with all that she had. The love, the joy and the true happiness she felt was in that one single kiss that he had returned. She pulled away, resting her forehead against his, "I love you so much."

He ran his fingers through her hair before kissing her cheek, "I love you too. So very, _very_ much."

This was one of the best parts of her job aside from delivery. The joy and excitement that parent experienced in the first few moments after they knew the sex of their baby was contagious and she couldn't help but smile. "Alright you two. The baby looks really good and mom seems to be doing fine as well. Do either of you have any questions?" Dr. Childs asked, wiping the gel from Olivia's stomach.

"I think we're set," Elliot said, momentarily pulling his eyes away from Olivia. "Thank you," Elliot said, shaking Dr. Childs hand.

"You're welcome," she smiled. "Olivia, make sure you set up another appointment for three to four weeks and don't forget you're pictures at the counter."

Olivia slid off of the table, "I will. Thank you."

Dr. Childs nodded before leaving the room.

Elliot turned to her and took he in his arms, holding her right and kissing her hungrily. "We're going to have a son," he whispered against her ear.

She smiled against his cheek, "We are ... I can't believe it."

He took her face in his hands and kissed her again, "A boy."


End file.
